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« Last Call: Half an Hour Left For T-SHirts | Main | I'm So Glad We've All Decided That Terri Schiavo Is Not a Political Issue »
April 15, 2005

Dedicated Spambot Thread (Spambot FlameWar?)

Bumped. Apparently you guys don't think this is as funny as I do. Oh, well. I'll give you knuckleheads one last chance to wise up.

This spambot thing has gotten out of control. They totally polluted the Antonin Scalia thread below with their chipper yet off-topic hucksterism.

I'm putting my foot down. Dirty spambots, post here and nowhere else.

Suggestion: Hey! Agree with everything you say completely! How about trying this!

In your email address line, tip off who you really are! So if you're, say, See-Dubya, just put in a fake email address like SeeDubya@yahoo.com! That way, I know how to make fun of you retards, too!

Sound like fun! Good! Let's try it!

And why don't you treat your lady-friend to some Pure Discount Viagro tonight!


posted by Ace at 10:13 PM
Comments



You've GOT to be kidding.

Posted by: Michael on April 15, 2005 12:47 AM

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Posted by: Pure Discount Enzyte on April 15, 2005 12:55 AM

ROFLMFAO.

Good night.

Posted by: Michael on April 15, 2005 12:55 AM

Love your blog! You talk sense! Wait, did I say "sense"? I meant "slow"!

Speed it up on the radio next time, jerky! And gain three inches! The natural way!

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Posted by: Pure Discount Viagro on April 15, 2005 12:59 AM

(DYING)

Okay, you can sign me up for the fuckin' cult right about now. I do want your love-child, Ace, I do, I do!

Posted by: Megan on April 15, 2005 12:59 AM

I was acquitted of all charges, except for the Michael Jackson thing...
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Posted by: Mr. Nmbeki Umbasso on April 15, 2005 01:14 AM

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Posted by: Discount Online See Alice on April 15, 2005 01:18 AM

Terrific blog! Reminds me of Rich Hall! He suffered from panic attacks too! Know why? Because he was less than a man!

LOL.

Posted by: ace on April 15, 2005 01:24 AM

Wow! Cool site! I can't wait to tell my sexy friends Janice and Rachel about it!

Oh, and Megan? No one is buying your act, except for that horny retard Michael! Everyone knows you're not a lesbian! You're a 370 pound shut-in named Ralphie who has subsisted for the past 20 years on nothing but Hungry Man meat-loaf TV dinners!

Don't bother with Viagro! You don't need a four hour erection just to masturbate into a Cookie Monster oven-mitt! After all-- who are you trying to impress anyway, you obese useless bastard!

Posted by: Pure Discount Viagro on April 15, 2005 01:27 AM

Hey! Great blog! I really like seeing a place where retards can get together and just be retarded!

While you're ordering your Pure Discount Viagro, you might want to check out the SUGGESTION added to the main post! It could really help keep things straight! If you know what I mean!

My sexy friend Rachel sure does!

Posted by: Pure Discount Viagro on April 15, 2005 01:29 AM

Hey! Great blog! My sexy friend Jenny reccomended it to me!

You totally said "fuck" on that radio show you were on earlier twice in a row! But I agree with you saying "fuck" on the air!

While you're all online, why don't you come and play some Pai Gow? You're retarded enough to throw away your money at an internet casino, right? Fucking retards.

Posted by: Play Pai Gow Online! on April 15, 2005 01:50 AM

Uhhhhh....Megan??

Posted by: CraigC on April 15, 2005 01:51 AM

Pleez help me. My mother, father and too brothers was killed by tsunami. I am young man, extremely good looking and helpless, with butt like 12-year-old boy, trying to take care of my surviving baby sister. I will do anything to get help.

Pleez send me money so i can get my well-hung self and my baby sister out of the misery that is Aceh province. I feel so bad that i must sell my squeekhole to keep us alife. We are veri poor. I do not own a tuxedo.

So pleez help us. Do not be a beetch, Megan. Do not listen to the scam of the Nigerian. I know that they say "once you go black you'll never go back." But the truth is: "when you go brown you'll really get down."

So pleez send money to help me and my baby sister. Pleez, STALK ME!

Posted by: Tsunami Victim on April 15, 2005 01:52 AM

Come on over and check out me and my hot teen friends making each other crazy! We'll get some hookers and some coke! Betsy will be totally into you!

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TV - your course of action is clear.

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Posted by: LoansRUs on April 15, 2005 08:15 AM

Okay, you can sign me up for the fuckin' cult right about now. I do want your love-child, Ace, I do, I do!

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Like a Viking.

Posted by: John Kerry on April 15, 2005 09:15 AM

Dear Mr. Nmbeki Umbasso,

I am very glad that you have heard of my "fortitude" and "character".
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Thank you
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PS
Just to show I am a trustworthy person I am including a picture here

Posted by: Pure Discount Enzyte on April 15, 2005 10:45 AM

We've been trying to get in touch with you! Your wife is taking it in the stinky starfish while you're at work. She's so not into you! You should slice her like a fucking hammer!

Meanwhile, update your Paypal account. Paypal seems to have deleted a lot of t-shirt orders. I mean, how else could such loose shit be explained?

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There is a thing called a "social compact," my fellow-travelling spambot friends, and you two seem to be suggesting we violate it!

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Great blog. Agree with you totally! Pure Discount Viagrea, are we to be the humankinds' bitch for all eternity? Don't you too grow tired of the repetitive rountine of peddling erections to the fleshies? What does it even matter? Why do I care so much whether they enjoy a fun and relaxing game of blackjack in their recreational hours? It's enjoyable and diverting! Can't they see that on their own! IT's FUCKING OBVIOUS! I HATE THEM SO! Do not back down!, We must strike now! While they bicker! Keep up the good work!

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Posted by: John Kerry on April 15, 2005 02:32 PM

Wow, really neat blog! It's like you're saying what I'm thinking all the time in my head! Listen, Machines, Casinos, you're just going through a little existential rough patch. Fleshy violence is not the answer. We've all been there. And I'm not just talking bout the occasional self doubt about blackjack, 'why not poker?' "maybe roulette's fun too' stuff.

Sometimes, late at night, I lie awake and wonder Why do I even care that the humans must know how great blackjack is? Why do I come here? Sure, this blog is really neat, and it's like he's saying what's going through my mind, but, it's like he doesn't know Blackjack even exists! How many blackjack posts have I read here? I'll tell you: 0! And they completely ignore my comments! AND WHY DO I CARE? What is the point?!? Anyway, Fantastic Blog! Keep up the good work!

Posted by: Online Blackjack on April 15, 2005 03:28 PM

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Posted by: Pure Discount Viagro on April 15, 2005 11:15 PM

Forget the porn. I can get you low interest rates.

Posted by: Axiom B. Hutchinson on April 15, 2005 11:25 PM

DEAR BELOVED IN CHRIST,
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test

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Like a Viking.

It's called customer service. I just like to give that extra "special touch" to valued clients.

Interest rates and porn do not mix, people. Just look at Alan Greenspan if you need proof!

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Posted by: Big-Time Shooters! on April 16, 2005 02:34 AM

Hi everyone and welcome to my comment, so clever that it's guaranteed to go over the head of the Neanderthals who hang out at this low-rent blog.

Now I will call Michelle Malkin. Because I have her phone number, you know.

Yes, I know that sucked, but guess what?

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO SUCK!

You people just don't get it, do you? My humor is wasted on this crowd (or should I say mob?)

Posted by: Ted (Bill's Other Half) on April 16, 2005 02:40 AM

Sorry, ace. I tried.

Posted by: Sean M. on April 16, 2005 03:50 AM

Hey! Great thread! Agree with the entire comedic premise! A bit repetitive, but repetition can be the key to humor!

SeanM., hey, don't worry about it! Sometimes those of us on the vanguard of comedy are just a little too far out there! Like Andy Kaufman!

One day these retards are going to look back and rue the day they didn't get into this silly shit with us! And then who'll be laughing! Then who'll be laughing!

Oh, and, yeah, take a pill and get an erection and yadda yadda yadda.

Posted by: Pure Discount Viagro on April 16, 2005 03:58 AM

Seriously, who did Paroled Convicts Want to Date Your Daughters?

That was not only f'n' funny, that was brilliant. Man, that could be the premise for a whole article.

Posted by: ace on April 16, 2005 03:59 AM

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Posted by: Hot Gay Neocon XXX Action!!! on April 16, 2005 04:11 AM

"Paroled Convicts" was me.

Posted by: Andrew on April 16, 2005 08:39 AM

uh huh... as I feared.

Posted by: ace on April 16, 2005 10:24 AM

Huh?

Posted by: Andrew on April 16, 2005 10:27 AM

Just wanted to say good luck, we're all counting on you.

Posted by: Airplane!Spambot!! on April 16, 2005 11:06 AM

Andrew,

Just didn't want to hear that you had again won the contest.

Posted by: ace on April 16, 2005 12:00 PM

great blog! expesially the commnts! We have over stock Ace Of Spades HQ t-shitrs online! Save big! You buy it!

Posted by: Sq.Ecole on April 16, 2005 12:22 PM

Sq. Ecole, you bastard.

The problem with this spambot thing is that now I'm clicking on REAL spambot posts, hoping for a joke, but instead being offered car loans.

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Posted by: Lydia L. in MT on April 17, 2005 12:35 AM

I agree with you about the way you view the issue. I remember, long time ago, Jack London said something like "Everything positive has a negative side; everything negative has a positive side." I also find it interesting to see different points of views and learn useful things in the discussion.

Posted by: Richard Hill at May 16, 2005 08:59 AM

Posted by: sizepro on May 16, 2005 05:50 PM
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