Nice to see you back, Ace. I wasn't sure where you got off to, although I was fairly sure Val-u-Rite was somehow involved. I just hope you didn't go into your Jack Henry Abbott routine with yet another innocent busboy.

BTW, you might want to check out SondraK's site. There's some serious linkworthiness in the second or third post down.

This is why I don't want to meet you for a beer. It starts with us drinking Heinekens and before you know it your hand's on my cock.

I do not have "busy hands," and I'm offended by the very suggestion.

From the point of view of the NY Times, everyone is gay, it's just that only enlightened people will admit to it.

Yes, that is a belief I've detected from my gay friend. It seems pretty common.

That 'homo seat' thing is funny cause it's true. I got certain buddies I see certain kindsa movies with occasionally. Action movie friend sits right next to me. No big whoop. Never thought bout it. Hipster-lectual movie friend pulls that homo seat nonsense. Never brought it up, but strikes me as weird. At first I thought he's playing spymaster/mole, pretendin we're exchanging info in a public place, making sure if 'they' see us in the same place, it'll look like a coincidence. Action movie friend's kinda a more secure guy otherwise too.

If both of us have our pants on, what's the big deal? Movie? Pants on. Almost always. No problem. Urinal next to me? Uh, why don't you grab that one down there? Thanks. (Same stall? That's right out.)

I went to art museums in NYC several times with a straight male friend who shares my interest in that sort of girlie stuff, and I don't think this ever crossed my mind. Van Helsing's right: you've got to be operating on the assumption that your inner homo is straining at the bars, ready to burst free at the slightest excuse, before you can agonize over non-issues like this.

Wait. Are you telling me that giving your man-friend a backrub at the urinal is, well, frowned upon?

Next thing you're gonna tell me is that giving your buddy the "two shakes" while he flushes means I swing wilder than a Zogby poll?

Sheesh. All these things to learn, not enough time.

Gotta go, Christopher Lowell show's on. Today, it's silk flower arrangements!

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Oh, Dave, you're, like, soooo Graham Norton.

It only gets slightly gay when you go out with a large group of females. I've done that more than my fair share because of forces outside my control, I tended to have mostly female friends in hs.

Maybe I'm just more progressive then the NYT writers...

I'm usually shooting guns or drinking, sometimes at the same time. So no, I don't feel gay.

I'm afraid to see what the Times will write if they learn that guys occasionally play basketball "one on one".

And if they learn that even in groups of guys, sometimes games are played "shirts and skins".

Why it's Sodom and Gomorrah, I tell you.

I don't know about anyone else, but I always feel gay when I'm at Ace's.

My friends and I have never needed a homo seat when we hung out together. At most we might haved joked about it at a party every now and then when sitting on the couch together.

At most we might haved joked about it at a party every now and then when sitting on the couch together.

Yeah, me too. My straight friend and I joked about it also. Only when we were on the couch my friend was sitting on my lap and I was massaging his inner thigh, but we're both really secure macho guys so who cares?

Sorry Michael, I just wanted to leave a blank post between me and you there. I see Mark wasn't so picky, but whattaya expect, he owns his own tux.

Mark wasn't so picky, but whattaya expect, he owns his own tux.

You're right, only a fag would own his own tux. Wait a minute, I own my own tux.

I think I'm on the bring of an emotional crises.

On another subject, Ace, I still haven't gotten the teeshirt I ordered during the Ace-is-retired gag. I've said this before. I'll say it again. I have a broomstick with "Ace's squeekhole" written all over it if that shirt does not show up. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

I might even wear my tux for the occasion.

Jack M:

Haven't you, BrewFan and Cedarford made up the manly way I suggested in my haiku?

Daisies Bathed in Twilight Globules
Jack M, BrewFan, Cedarford Reconcile

Three men, flaming each
Seeking solice, reflect on
Three-way circle jerk

Now doesn't that sound better than innuendo and possibilities? Make it happen. Then, not only will you not have to worry about a homo seat, but you guys can play any game you like shirts-and-skins, however you want.

Michael,

They're being sent out. The first batch might be all sent already.

KCTrio, in this context, I do not think the word "flaming" means what you think it means.

KCT:

Bah..whenever I run into Cedarford, I try to keep a "Nazi seat" between us. I don't want people thinking I swing that way. You get what I'm sayin'?

So, is the same true for WOMEN?

If not, it certainly sounds like the Times is rather sexist. Which also makes those progressives sorts great big hypocrites, too.

Later,
bbeck

They're being sent out. The first batch might be all sent already.

I will try to be patient. I will issue no more threats to your squeekhole for awhile.

It's just that I'm leaving on vacation in a week. I'm going to Belize. What could be more cool than to have an Ace teeshirt whilst enjoying the beaches, the jungle, the Mayan ruins?

Maybe I might even meet someone in Belize who knows the Ace blogsite. They would see my teeshirt and instantly recognize me for the person I really am.

A dork.

I

I went with a buddy to see Team America. We could have used a "laugh contagion seat." We were both laughing so hard we couldn't stop. Just when I would finish wiping the tears out of my eyes, thinking I might be able to assert some manly self control, he would start guffawing and I would erupt into further convulsions, or I would blow some soda out my nose and he would start howling. We lost it right at the beginning, with: "Everybody has AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS!" Too funny. Then we almost asphyixiated ourselves on the vomit scene. Then I think we cried for the last fifteen minutes. We were bawling so loud you'd almost think we were girly-men at a chick-flick. "Dicks fuck assholes." (But not in a gay way.) Ha ha ha ha ha. Even homos would have been rolling on the floor, so long as they weren't Democrats.

Enjoy Belize Michael, land of verdant intrigue that.

Guy:

Been there? I've read they have their own form of Afro-Caribbean music called "Punta" -- and I am looking forward to hearing it. I'm taking my dancing shoes. (Well, actually I am taking my dancing flip-flops, but you get the idea.)

Yeah, family quasi-owned a little soy bean land there. Frankly, I was pretty messed up my entire stay. Recall it's very green though. Diabolical monkeys. Watch for sudden rain/floods. Plenty of corrugated metal roofing but that stuff ain't as sturdy as it looks. Word to the wise there.

Diabolical monkeys

That would be the Howler Monkeys. Just part of the local color if you have the right attitude (and don't need a lot of sleep).

Thieves is what they are. Little hairy thieves. Fruit, unattended wallets, carkeys... Don't confuse crime with color my friend.

Of course, utron. That was supposed to be a play on words. A joke, I suppose that failed.

Let there be no mistake, I don't question the manliness of any of those three (well, maybe one, but I'll leave that up to Jack M to tell judge; I don't know enough to be certain).

As to Jack M, anyone who wants to launch a one-man war against Iceland, and who can enlist Patton's ghost as his general is all straight in my book.

But after the slaugthering Jack's spirit guide gave me over at the Blogtower (a slaughtering I richly deserved, mind you), it was my little way of striking back, in a flaming, manfully way.

Good grief, KCTrio. I was misquoting "The Princess Bride." I'll have to construct some tags reading "WARNING: Attempted Humor Ahead" to avoid these misunderstandings in the future. I'd use smileys, but those things offend my own delicately honed metrosexual sensibilities.

whenever I run into Cedarford, I try to keep a "Nazi seat" between us. I don't want people thinking I swing that way. You get what I'm sayin'?

ROTFLMAO

But seriously, Ace you have me worried here. My husband painted our girls toenails and fingernails while I was away this weekend AND he owns a tux -- actually two tux(es).

Luckily the solution lies right in your blog.

I think I need to send him to the movies next weekend on a man-date and arrange for some covert surveillance. Anyone have a nightscope you can lend me?

Thank you all for insight into your inner gay guy. If any of you are interested in a date with dh, just let me know.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!

Son of Nixon is straight?!!!

utron:

Sorry, missed the movie quote. And as to your metrosexual sensibilities, are they delicately honed, like a daisy?

No need for the warning.

Perhaps you should just assume when writing messages to KCTrio that are supposed to be sarcastic, he'll be too much of a lugnut to get it. No need to warn.

Seeing "The Crying Game" demanded the use of a homo seat, Ace. I stand by that.

BTW, can we separate our blogs with a "homo blog" so that there is a little, y'know, "space" between us on the world wide web.

Any suggestions?

(how about INDC?)

Wow, pick a couple of obviously poofy characters to "report" about, and then "discover" that they are well...poofy. Shocked, I'm just shocked.

What the hell is The Times talking about???

Most of my friends are straight. When we hang out "one on one", it doesn't feel "kinda gay"!
It only feels gay when two people of the same sex have their clothes off and are getting sweaty all over each other and ...well, you know.

This shit is getting ridiculous.
No wonder the straights fear us; at times like this, I fear us!

a homo seat eh? sounds like it wasn't the first time that you'd made him share the popcorn with you.

you're all ignoring what's really going on here. as soon as i saw "man-date" i knew it was one of those dirty NYT tricks! they're so upset about republicans talking about a bush mandate that they're trying to change the definition. "yeah, just try and talk about bush's 'man-date' now! mwahaha!"

who am i kidding? nobody is gonna read this anymore. i was way late on this one

That NYT article is the most retarded thing I've read in a long time, and remember, I hang out on this site a lot. Watching a movie with a buddy is a 'man-date'? Who knew? Who fucking cared?

I date women. That is, I take them out to dinner, I engage in interesting conversation with them, then we go dancing, then I try to get in their pants. Going out to dinner with guys is exactly the same, except for the dancing and sexual overtures part. In other words, it's totally fucking different.

God save us from those EMO shitsacks that work for the NYT Fashion and Style desk (I feel my nads shrinking as I type those baleful words).

I actually felt more gay wasting ten minutes reading that damn article than the time I went to a Village People costume party as the construction worker guy.