So you crashed the wedding for prime rib?

The hell is up with the italics?

Close your tags, Ace. Loose shit.

Better.

No, I really don't have anything better to do right now.

Closed the italics.

Kevin,

Yeah, actually I said that, when someone asked who the hell I was. I said I'd just wandered off the street for the shrimp bar.

Having made my one obligatory witty comment, I then sat in a corner and got slosh-assed drunk with a busboy named Miguel.

Nog mines? Ace, don't be silly. Everyone knows what egg nog is:

Elf cum.

Ahhh, egg nog. For when I want to get drunk, but I also want pancakes.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

P.S. PLEASE tell me you know who I'm quoting. . .

The funniest thing about "Prime Rib" (which is just a standing rib roast, served in slices) is that it's usually not USDA prime. Certainly not at a cheesy wedding.

Anyway, I think we actually had a standing rib roast last Christmas. So there.

You can smooth out the Val-U-Rite vodka's rough edges with a Brita water filter, ace. Filter it 3 times and it's as good as Grey Goose.

You own your own tux?

prime rib rox. You can make a cold meat dip with the leftover. Delish! Yes..I said meat dip.

good stuff.

You own your own tux?

Depends on what you mean by "own." But sure, I've dug up the occasional grave like the next guy, and some of those corpses are about my size.

Take my advice - get a Brita water filter, some of that cheap-ass vodka, and repeatedly filter that shit through it (after following Brita's instructions for first-time use, otherwise enjoy the taste of crunchy vodka). You'll get borderline Grey Goose in no time. It's shit like that that makes the Russians hate our ingenuity.

Oh, also -

James Bond Marathons on Spike are awesome - I have yet to miss more than one movie (despite seeing them at least eight times each now), and I'm camped out by my mailbox waiting for the DVD set to arrive.

Us college d00ds live for James Bond marathons almost as much as we do Spongebob, Teen Titans, and McGyver.

Note to self - read comments more closely before posting. Moonbat One beat me to the Brita filter thing, so props to him for getting there first.

I need to lay off the filtered stuff, beginning to effect my reading ability. =D

Last post for a while - I'll try to sober up next time...maybe.

You own your own tux?

Um, I own my own tux, which I actually got at a store rather than a graveyard. Is that gay or something? I didn't know.

Why would it be gay? I didn't say or imply it was gay.
A tux is a manly garment, to be sure.

Were you in the wedding party? Or was it actually a black-tie wedding?

Note to self: Michael is insecure about his masculinity.
Remember for next flame war.

Or was it actually a black-tie wedding?

Aren't they ALL anymore? It's gotten ridiculous.

To be honest, I don't know if it was black tie or not. But the cool thing about a tux is you just don't have to think about what you're wearing.

It just simplifies the decisionmaking. Like those silver spacesuits we're all going to wear in the future.

Were you in the wedding party?

No, I bought the tux (a Tommy) for corporate events several years ago.

OMG! Isn't Tommy gay?

OMG! Maybe I really am insecure about my sexuality.

OMG! I keep making comments over at Ace's about his squeekhole.

OMG! Maybe the haikus I keep writing for LauraW are some kind of weird form of denial. A normal guy doesn't keep writing about cherry blossoms to some anonymous chick on the internet.

I need heeeeeeeeeeeeelp!

Only if there are no women then.

Because even in the future, women will wake up in the morning and think, 'I feel....pink today...'

Weddings are so gay.

Shrieking OMG! is really not helping your case, Michael.
Thanks for the haikus, Michael.

LOL

I'm sorry. That was rude.
I'm not wired right tonight.

*Deep cleansing breaths*

Lauraw:

Ok, I am really calm now. I am totally cool. I was just goofing around.

Here is your latest haiku:

Cherry blossoms fall
Scent of rain enfolds me
I AM NOT GAY -- REALLY REALLY I'M ALMOST SURE OF THAT!

*Deep cleansing breaths*

God-DAMN!! ROFLMAO
Will you stop making it worse??
I am dying over here.

Lauraw:

No offense taken. Just kidding around, I know.

Goodnight Mike. And sorry, again.

Good night, Lauraw,

*Tucks you in. Kisses you on both cheeks and nose, like I did with my kids.*

OMG. Did that sound GAY? Heeeeeeeeeeeelp!

Far out man.

damn. I'm old enough to remember Senor Wences (Wencelas? gotta go look that up now).

Ace, surely you in your tux were not (overly) gay ... however, that pink garter belt and corset you wore underneath .....