I betty Smitty did it. He always was a strange, strange little man, but he sure did have the best t-shirts. Man, I wish I could get one.

I remember a Weird Tales story like this. Every time the guy wrote a new science fiction tale, it actually started to happen.

Turned out his typewriter was cursed and the only way to stop it was to destroy the typewriter.

If you don't want Xarff, the Metal Eater from the Fifth Dimension, or maybe in your case Cthulu crawling up the side of your apartment building, you'd better get yourself a new keyboard.

My guess was the woman found this day laborer pounding you up the stinky starfish and threatened to tell all his friends hanging out in front of the bodega. So the gardener freaks, takes your knife from your crumpled, filthy trousers and pursues Senorita Grande-mouth through the woods.

A tasty tamale falls out of her pocket and, worst luck ever, she slips on the wrapper, falls and he applies the Henkel.

Hope you got your $5 up front!

I remember a Weird Tales story like this. Every time the guy wrote a new science fiction tale, it actually started to happen.

Turned out his typewriter was cursed and the only way to stop it was to destroy the typewriter.

Yeah, ha ha, that's really funny and all, but next thing you know Ace is going to think, "Oh, no, he's saying the only way to stop this is to destroy this blog." Then he's going to feel "expectations" are "forcing" his hand.

Then we're going to have another putrid retirement angle, leaving us all shaking our heads in disgust as he keeps forgetting who he's supposed to be at the moment and putting up posts under the wrong identity.

So I guess what I'm saying to you, Nicholas Kronos, is that you need to keep your fool mouth shut.

Yeah, ha ha, that's really funny and all, but next thing you know Ace is going to think, "Oh, no, he's saying the only way to stop this is to destroy this blog." Then he's going to feel "expectations" are "forcing" his hand.

Or, he could start making money by convincing places to pay him for not mentioning them. Kind of like the rain god in one of Douglas Adams' Dirk Gently books, who got paid by vacation resorts to stay away.

I liked the first version of the remix better.

Dude, you've gotta be just busting my (and see-dubya's) chops, right?

This one's better. That's just. The fuckin'. Way. It is.

What is up with 'lightnign bolt" and "death!"?

That's from the ogre battle video. Go over to the site search bar, enter "lightning bolt", and you'll find where Ace has linked to it.