I can scale the fonts at Smitty's Place right now. I don't see what the problem is.

Smitty's Place needs a tip jar.

Does Smitty sell t-shirts? I was thinking I might want one.

Bastards.

LOL at Warden! Now that was cold!

WHO'S SMITTY?

I DON'T GET IT. IS THAT SUPPOSED TO...aaah, forget it.

(LOL, Wuzzadem.)

Really, though, will someone clue me into the jokes. I mean, who is Paul Anka, and why is he so funny? And, who is this Allah fellow?

sigh. I miss Smitty already. When I started reading this blog, Smitty really seemed to know his stuff ... he was like a guiding spirit for me.

Well, at least ace has started addressing smitty by his proper title (Worst. Character. Ever.) Thx ace.

(and nice to have you "back." hope the starfish isn't all goats.3*-ed out)

Seriously, just give hime a hat-on-backwards and a surfboard and he'll be perfect.

I do miss Smitty, though. He was such a dependable chap.

Smitty was not Ace's "worst. character. ever."

That distinction goes to "Cedarford".

I mean, come on...that dude isn't real? Right?

hey everybody, switch to firefox. you'll be able to set minimum font sizes and/or scale up sizes with [CTRL +'+']

that being said, relative css font sizes enhance usability, and also i'm a web design nerd.

Does Smitty sell t-shirts? I was thinking I might want one.

Posted by The Warden

Sure, Smitty's my, uh, uncle. What size do you want?

And a correction: the only thing Smitty more than gay porn is NAMBLA porn.

hey "web design nerd" how's about you get your head out of your ass and sing your name?

loose shit

hey "web design nerd" how's about you get your head out of your ass and sign your name?

loose shit

Jack M,

I have also noticed similarities between Ace and Cedarford. They both seem to have a U.K. way of writing. For instance, Cedarford talked about "the Boxing Day tsunami", and Ace said "I'm fed up with the lot of you" and he uses the word "whilst".

Insufferably,
LD

hobgoblin I'm joining your quest to shame these lazy retards into signing (or singing, either one) their 'names'. Your colon idea was outstanding. let the chastizing begin!

I almost had a stroke laughing while you guys kept calling that douchebag 'April.'

Jack M:

If Cedarford is a fictional poster, it would explain a lot of things. Like, how can he go from cogent statements to tangental ramblings so swiftly? And it would also provide you some comfort, thinking that there aren't people like that out there.

Sort of like looking at the obituaries to see if someone died that's your age and trying to find the cause of their death, hoping you can say to yourself "Well, I don't engage in that behavior, so that won't happen to me."

But it can happen to you.

So the guy's real, and there are many, many of them out there just like him. Cold comfort, I know, but to me this is wishful thinking.

Paleocons do have a place in the GOP, right? I mean, we can't have the entire party taken over by neocon Joooooos, Rosary-swinging, incense-huffing Catholics and Right-to-Lifers.

Stick to your one-man war on Iceland, your odds are much better. I still don't know why utron wants Bjork, but perhaps you can persuade Patton to give her up as a spoils of war gift.

KCT: I think Utron wants Bjork b/c he's trying to organize a Sugarcubes Comeback Concert. Utron's got a fan page all set up for it and everything.

I'll instruct the Ghost of General Patton to make sure Utron gets most of her, anyway.

Shut up BrewFan

Ditto, colon.

I wish you guys would just stop TEASING me ... It's a FAMILY name.

No one's teasing you, my dear April. Look at the shitty family names I've inherited.

And my wife demands to name our children Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.

And I'm Jewish. Why the heck would I want to stick with the Gregorian calender in the first place?

I'm a farking druid, I don't even know what we're supposed to use...

And warden, that *was* cold - lol

Hey Ace, your font size looks really small on my computer screen, is there any way to make it any bigger? I haven't read one single post that you've ever typed up, but I figured I'd interject with a comment, just because (let's face it) we all know I'm the only important one on this blog.

-Fatty

/sarcasm

KCTrio - What actually is a paleocon? From the little I read they sound like Michael Savage, who (though his heart is in the right place) often sounds like someone should call the men in the white coats to throw a net over him.

(Not that there's anything wrong that).

Well, Bjork's been getting a little meaty lately. I do prefer my psychotic brunettes a bit scrawnier, and a more slender Bjork will work better with that Sugar Cubes reunion thing. So I guess "most of her" will do.

And don't knock the Sugar Cubes! A couple of months ago a Jesus and Mary Chain reunion tour came through our little town, and dozens of people showed up! I figure a career as an impresario for washed-up Nineties Euro-art rockers is going to bring in some serious bucks. I'll probably be able to retire on the money from the t-shirt sales alone.

Yeah Utron, I hear there's crazy t-shirt money to be made off of washed up Nineties euro-art rockers.

Is it "Smitty T-shirt" crazy? Probably not. But I think it's probably a close second.

Go ahead and laugh, Jack M. We'll see who's laughing when my "SUGAR CUBES: UN-DISSOLVED" reunion tour makes the cover of Tiger Beat magazine. They still publish Tiger Beat, right?

72Virgins:

Think: Jim Pinkerton, Pat Buchanan and Bill Kristol's father, Irving, and you'll have your definitions sort of in line for paleocon and neocon.

Take a look at "The Neoconservative Persuasion," an essay by I. Kristol in The Weekly Standard, August 11, 2003, for a definition of neocons.

Here's a definition of Paleocons from Widipedia.

It gets rather wierd on both of these terms. Neocons have strong intellectual roots, as do paleocons. However, the terms have both positive and negative connotations.

For instance, a classic conservative like Pinkerton might describe himself as by nature reflective and measure-twice-cut-once type of person. That's a good connotation of a paleocon. In fact, with JP, you could drop the paleo and just call him a conservative.

Another good description of classical conservative in general can be found in Lincoln's speech to the Cooper's Institute delivered February 17, 1860. Pay particular attention to this phrase:

What is conservatism? Is it not adherence to the old and tried, against the new and untried?

But paleocons have a negative connotation in men like Buchanan, who want to be isolationists, abhor imigration and basically smell like the Know-Nothing or American party from the mid-1800s.

Neocons get a bad wrap with linkage to preemptive wars, overzelous support for Israel and Jewish conspiracy theorists.

Most of these labels are useful if you can separate the negative and positive connotations and take the best from each. And yes, there are good things to be found in the negative connotations, if one does the opposite (or hedges the truth of the appelation).

For me, I'll stick with old Abe's definition. It works just fine for me.

Really, you don't need a web diva. Unless she's cute. Just tweak the stupid stylesheet. It's here:
http://www.ace.mu.nu/skins/1/styles-sheet1.css
Where it gives the font size in pixels, just delete that or change it to something like "120%" for regular text.

One more thing, 72ManiacalVirgins.

If you can make it through that speech of Lincoln's, consider yourself a lucky collective. And if you agree with it, you can drop the maniacal moniker.

That speech basically got Lincoln the Presidency (well, it played a very important role, but the initial slaughter was his set-up of Douglas during the Freeport debate, where he trapped Douglas into a position that cost him any chance of conning the Southern Democrats that he was in their corner). Furthermore, it's one of the most splendid examples of condensed English ever written. And finally, it, by itself, provides about the best summary of the issues going on during that period in our nation's history.

It's brutal. And the peroration is very nice. Funny thing about that last paragraph; Joe Lieberman wrote an editorial in the WSJ about one year ago and butchered that paragraph (made it more gender friendly). I like Joe, but to misquote Lincoln is near blasphemy. Lincoln was very particular about every word he put into his speeches.

Ace, while you're paying some web diva to fix your site, why not have her change it to either require a name or to automatically fill in the name if the person doesn't? Obviously the latter is more fun. One site I used to go to would put in names like "anonymous coward".

Here I would recommend setting the name to "April". Sorry, I guess the "Colon" thing is supposed to be meaner or more scatological or more grammatical or something, but like LauraW I had a good laugh at people calling unnamed posters "April" and watching them get mad about it ("damn it, my name's not April, April is the current month!").

While we can play that joke out for another few weeks, come May 1 the fun is over without a little software help.

Or you could have it rotate among names: April, Colon, Cedarford, etc.

hmmm ... sorry to interrupt the scholarly tone here, but I am very worried ... Ace, what exactly happened to Lorraine? and does Mabel know about the, uh, homoerotic leanings??!

call me concerned ....

p.s. When Michael Savage isn't being just plain crazy, I think he should be considered the male ideal ...

psflanagan:

Thank you for interrupting the scholarly tone.

Does this make up for my transgressions? I suggested this to you as a deterent for the refrigerator.

Let me know if it works.

Ace, while you're paying some web diva to fix your site, why not have her change it to either require a name or to automatically fill in the name if the person doesn't?

IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY? I DON'T GET IT.

No, seriously, the problem is with a glitch in the mu.nu software. No mu.nu site remembers names. It's not something Diva can fix.

psflanagan:

Sorry for the loose shit. I see you already commented on that beautiful Brit laddy.

Still, there's nothing wrong with looking at that fine picture in two threads.

Counting the link over at the Blogtower, that makes three.

I think I have a men-dressed-as-Dolly-Parton fetish. Or perhaps I just enjoy wierd photos.

Go to Google images, type in "Dolly Parton" and that's the first damn photo that appears.

Go figure.

Dude, your font is toast. Toast!

I don't care about Smitty T-shirts. My Ace T-shirt has not yet arrived. I don't want to issue any more threats involving Ace's squeekhole, but my patience is wearing thin.

Go to Google images, type in "Dolly Parton" and that's the first damn photo that appears. Go figure.

you do that often KC?!

Have you figured out what she's hiding beneath her shirt yet?

Good Lord, no, psflanagan, but I suppose I ran right into that one.

Family was listening to the lovely singer on the radio, and I wanted show them a nice picture of her. Her album covers do show her tastefully attired with soft lighting, but I just don't have her LPs lying around anymore.

But even with the parental filter on high in Google images, that's the first stupid photo that came up. Still, even though the photo isn't obscene in the strictest sense, it sure is damn revolting.

And yes, I had a laugh at the strange image, and the fact that the man in the costume was the first image that appeared.

But I do like the boots. Killer costume, if you're using "strange" as your measure. Perhaps that's what Ace was wearing during one of his dance numbers.