all this time i really thought Hoke was a real, different person.

i feel so used

I guess the answer is "Yes. Yes I did see that. I also saw Star Wars Kid, too. A long fucking time ago!"

Johnny Gosch = Jeff Gannon = James Guckert = ?

Jade Gold

Well, we've got a real Andy Kauffman thing going on here.

Layer upon layer of postmodern comedy.

And pooter jokes.

Maybe its Jeff Gordon. The rainbow warrior. Im pretty sure theres some redkneck version of Kos out there working on that angle.

My source tells me Hoke = Ace.

What? No David Icke connection?

Okay, here's the deal:

There really is a Hoke.

In fact, he commented today.

But Ace couldn't post under his name today, being that he's "retired," so he asked Hoke if he could post under his. Hoke was SUPPOSED to post a couple of times just to get the Andy Kauffman thing rolling, but thusfar, he has dropped the ball.

So, there you go.

At least, that's my theory.

I have always thought that Jeff Gordon was a little, um, light in the tires, if you know what I mean.

A childhood spend in the forced companionship of pedophiles? Yeah, that seems about right.

/DU retardation

Funny how the left is subtly and not-so-subtly maligning their "allies" the gays. "Gannon=male prostitute b/c he was abducted by gay pedophiles!"

That would be downright bigoted if it came from the right about, say, the Americablog guy.

Smitty (Worst. Character. Ever.),

You're starting to worry me that everyone who comments here is just another version of Ace.

Am I real?

Can I convince the student loan folks that I'm just a figment of Ace's late-stage syphilitic imaginings?

Awww, I never got a chance.

I hear Ace has gotten himself a gig in Vegas now that hes retired.

Jim Rothstein, a retired New York City police officer and longtime investigator on the Gosch case, said becoming a White House reporter is completely in character for a former victim of the pedophilia ring.

WTF?

As stupid as the initials thing sounds, there's actually something to it. When investigators are searching for a person in hiding, they often start by looking for people with the same initials. Supposedly people want to have that little bit of their past life to hold onto, so while they will otherwise completely change their name there is an almost irresistible urge to keep the same initials.

The legit part of the Gannon story shows this tendency, as while his pen name is quite different it still has the same initials.

Of course the fly in the ointment with regards to this story is if he were abducted and his name were changed you'd think he'd have little say in the matter. I guess the counter would be maybe they let him pick, or maybe they gave him one name and he changed it later. But then why not change it all the way back to the original name? Nah, it doesn't make any sense.

Not to mention that that rest of the story doesn't make any sense either...

Wuzzadem:"Jim Rothstein, a retired New York City police officer and longtime investigator on the Gosch case, said becoming a White House reporter is completely in character for a former victim of the pedophilia ring.

WTF?"

You didnt know about this John? Heres a pic of Helen Thomas' van that she drives to the White House in every day.

There's only one thing wrong with that theory: I'm Johnny Gosch.

What is most offensive about the story to me is this part: "The most fervent bloggers on the Web aren't as interested in linking Gannon to Gosch as they are in presenting their version of a massive conspiracy."

Shouldn't that be "the most fervently liberal bloggers" or someting like that?

Seriously, think about what the sentence as written actually says: The more you're into blogging, the crazier you are. Period.

Is this insinuation accidental?

There's only one thing wrong with that theory: I'm Johnny Gosch.

That makes no sense at all. your initials aren't "JG"

Helen Thomas' van - Heh.

"Thanks to DB."

I bet its DB Cooper that tipped Ace to this story. Come on- think about it... Operation Mockingbird...Paul Anka...it all makes sense...

Eh, makes you wonder what the real story is behind the Charles Lingbergh Jr Kidnapping.

Must.Resist.Cheap.Ace.Hoax.
Must.Not.Read.Ace
Damn.

For one thing, the pro-Sharon neoconservative Jeff Gannon cabal brings about the theocrat Ashcroft's suspension of our civil rights. It is not heartening that the 15-minute speech delivered Monday night by President Bush is determined by capitalist interests which lead to the final subjugation of the Middle East, beginning with the $90bn invasion of Jeff Gannon . On the other hand, the appropriation of Arab resources can be regarded as the police state which has come to pass. As Norman Mailer pointed out, the Pax Americana of the future leads our attention to this calamity brought to us by a horrific onslaught, known as Jeff Gannon .

Maybe thats more compassionate conservatism, the band of house correspondents is a dumping ground for kidnapped children who have spent years being brainwashed by the CIA after years of molestation.

Sure, if Clinton had come up with it, it would be a testament to the altruism of the left wing, since Bush is in office, it is regarded as some kind of conspiracy.

the secret about the hidden CIA sex farm will soon be revealed.....once again proving that Spinal Tap was way ahead of its time....

Let's rock and roll
Working on a sex farm
Trying to raise some hard love
Getting out my pitch fork
And poking your hay

If I was the evil CIA/right-wing pederasts and wanted to keep Gosch/Gannon quiet, I wouldn't buy him off with a chintzy press pass. I'd kill him and feed his body to the hogs.

Googling the sites that took this seriously is entertaining. Haven't seen any sites I recognize yet...which isn't really a shock since I only know about 6.

Is it worth pointing out that the "same initials" theory could also take us right to Ace's favorite Broadway character, the indefatigable JAME GUMB?

J.G.

J.G.

Hmmm.

Who else has the initials J.G. and seems to know his way around gay porn c0ck?

The worst part of this story is that Johnny Gosch's mom was driven abso-fuckin-lutely batshit after spending 20+ years looking for her little 12 year old boy. She's gotten to the point where she would probably buy into any theory that involves her Johnny still being among the living. She wrote a book a few years ago about how Johnny is still alive, but he can't come home because of crimes he committed as part of the child sex ring he was abducted into in Mexico. It's sad, really. The story is complete guano on the surface, but the fact that they're dragging Noreen Gosch into this thing makes these DU trolls complete fuckin' demons, IMHO.

HOKE: To give an impressive but artificial, false, or deceptive quality to: "hoked up some phony allegations."

Hmmmm.........

"Hoke", "douche" is such a negative word. "dingleberry", "spaz", or even "squeakhole" would be better words for this case.

I don't blame you for not wanting to go to the DU. It's like going to the dentist without novocaine, but they don't even give you a toothbrush & a box of floss when you log off that site.

Lesse what the score is now...

Conservative Bloggers:

Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott resigns over controversial statements concerning Strom Thurmond

Bush Nat'l Guard memos exposed as fakes, forcing Dan Rather's retirement

Eason Jordan's spurious accusations exposed, prompting resignation

Bogus "Schiavo Memo" exposed, Wash. Post and Howard Kurtz backpedal off a sheer cliff

Ed Morrissey exposes biggest gov't scandal in Canadian history for all the world to see, prompting Canadian judge to trample free speech

Liberal bloggers:

Jeff Gannon

James Guckert

Gannon/Guckert

Guckert/Gannon

'Nuff said.

GANNON IS GOD

DU=2/3 of DUH!!

Please help me, citizen reporters! Tonight I go to town with Assad and a Saudi prince! The Al'Saud family has fuckin' microscopic dicks! Then I have to steal Azerbaijan secrets and train the newest recruit, Barrack Obama, in the secrets of love-making! SAVE ME!