Way OT, and maybe unforgivably contra-Dusty ads, but I think the host blogger might get a kick from this: http://www.bustedtees.com/product.php?name=morecowbell

(Hope this product isn't as old--or older--than "Star Wars Kid")

Cordially...

bravo

Clearly, the apparent demise of "anti-Americanism" as a respectable means of stifling recognition of American imperialism represents the crushing of internal dissent in order to propagate an oil war masquerading as an endless crusade against "terrorism." As Norman Mailer pointed out, Americanism as an ideology represents the repudiation of international law in order to bring about the essential Western imperial interests. So far, the American state, with its unelected president, venal Supreme Court, silent Congress, gutted Bill of Rights and compliant media brings forth the flagrant lies promulgated by the political donor class. Let us never forget that the unstated purpose of this war leads our attention to the theocrat Ashcroft's suspension of our civil rights.

Ace,
You nailed it! That was great!

SIMON: If I'm being honest, trying to get through your turgid, cliched post is much like watching an Up With People performance played entirely by chimpanzees suffering from brain aneurysms.

AUDIENCE: Boooo....

SIMON: No, I'm being serious.

" As Norman Mailer pointed out"....

You lost me there. Didn't he used to bang Marilyn Monroe?

Rick: they also have this (but as they're not sponsors of this fine blog, I suggest that no one click on the link).

...and whatever the hell they're calling Burma now

Somebody tell Simon they're calling it "Burma." They used to call it Myanmar, however.

Canada, the Julia DeMato of nations.
Also Canada has no neck.

I hear Bob Dole's cock beat Canada in an armwrestling match last week.

Dear anonymous poster,

If you're serious, then we don't need you, as your job has been "outsourced" to a computer program:
http://blog.gleeson.us/sean/2004/11/17/chat_with_the_autorantic_virtual_moonbat

Cordially...

Canada...canada...uhm - isn't that a frozen wasteland that mostly exports snow, and disgruntled men with crooked sticks and an insufficient number of teeth?

and replace you with Stacey Q

Best use of obscure 80s, Madonna-knock-off, one-hit-wonder songstress reference, ever.

Bet you didn't know that Paul Anka was born and raised in Ottawa, Canada?
World's a small place.

Great Thread.

Pierre L'Impotent, Canadian Minister of Diversity and Tolerance, has just demanded an immediate apology from all of you insulting American posters!

"Licthtenstein"? I'm not sure the citizens of a certain "It Factor" possessing nation are going to appreciate the loose shit embodied by that spelling...

Sean M., that armwrestling rumor has been thoroughly debunked by snopes, though it was loosely based in truth.
It was actually a cockfight.
Poor little Canadian chicken never knew what hit 'im.

Cockfighting is of course illegal in Canada. They had to smuggle Bob Dole's cock across the border in a violin case. I know what you're thinking; how the Hell did he fit in there?

Mystery Leftists Talking Points Memo:

Nice prose and great dark edge. Your world outlook is really something surreal and yet fragile. Kind of reminds me of the Skeleton Crew story "Survivor Type" but without the punch of that story's ending.

Two of Hearts:

Clearly you haven't been keeping up on the prolific career of Stacey Q (Stacey Lynn Swain); she's got quite the credits under her belt. Didn't you know she recorded a song for the film Return Of the Living Dead featuring "Tonight (We'll Make Love Until We Die)"? That alone shatters your "one-hit-wonder" stereotype to flinders. The women even did stuff for Facts of Life, Full House and Mama's Family (in 1990, I might add). She's solid gold, baby. Right up there with Wierd Al Yankovic. Now if there's a tape of her reaming the shit out of her band, we'll have a legend on our hands.

Still, if the photos on that site of hers are current, she looks pretty hot, and petite, no less.

Logcabin:

Pure gold, that post of yours. Very nice.

Truly, there is no greater purpose in life than mocking Canuckistan. God, what a country of retards.

Say, anonymous, thanks for that little screed. Nothing gives me more wood than seeing a blathering idiot drive yet more centrists into the voting booth to put yet more GOP candidates in office. Good job, asshole! Have you cashed your check from Mr. Rove yet?

Now, if you excuse me, I have an oak pole to polish.

No, make that mahogany.

Or is it teak?

Hey hoser Americans, do you guys ever stop bragging? Yap, yap, yap.

You're lucky, not smart, so far anyway.

Almost makes me wish the Dems got elected and made a complete hash of the place.

Hahahahahaha!

Fred Z:

I'll assume that your serious, but you do seem to be kind of kdding; but, I'll assume you are completely sincere.

Let's change your post, ever so slightly, shall we?

Hey loser Canadians, do you guys ever stop lagging? Pay, pay, pay.

You're unlucky, not smart, so far far away.

Almost makes me wish free hemp got mandated, and made your country a free-hash place.

Guys it's not our fault - it's Quebec. Those French fucks screw it up for the rest of us. Paul Anka of course excepted from this criticism.

Mystery Canadian Poster and FredZCalgary:

I'm going to suggest a few things that you may want to think about before you so hastily come in here and offer up trite diatribes that lack substance. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that your comments simply mirrored the overall tenor of this thread. You see Canada bashing, so you strike back. That seems a rational response, and I'd probably do the same.

With that, I'm going to try and raise the level of discourse a bit higher. But before I do that, I'll note that Ace linked to many things that contained America bashing, and as such, he went with the humor/smackdown posts. [Ace, if I'm wrong here, please straighten me out.]

1) Many Americans do get exposure to your impressions of us, and your elected representatives' views of us, fed to us by your media. And the surveys that get published, if they have sound methodology, seem to amplify this premise.

Now you might aver that this is an unfair way of judging American sentiments that Canadians harbor, but it is fair to assume that at least in some respects, your media is a reflection of the public's attitude towards us, as are the public surveys (they are even a better reflection).

The preponderance of these sentiments seems to be anti-American. So, is it not fair for Americans to wonder why many in your country revel in taking us down a peg or two? And I'm not going to suggest that the onus is on us to try and empathize with these sentiments; quite the contrary, the onus is on you to defend your views. I'm saying that if these attitudes are reflective of your country's view of us, it would certainly spur Americans to anger and resentment towards our northern neighbor. That's a basic human instinct.

The act of hating and/or talking down to Americans as a bunch of unenlightened fools can give rise to anger in your own country. You cast the charge, your media echoes it, your educational systems harden it, and it creates a negative attitude in your society towards our society. This at the very least reflects a lack of empathy on your part, not ours, and it is you, not the US, that must empathize with us. Because, making generalizations about a huge mass of people is the very definition of intolerance.

This is the problem I have with America bashing. People that engage in this sort of thing make the charge, and then blame us for them making the charge. Doesn't that strike you as rather psychotic? Sort of like abusing your spouse and then blaming the spouse for the abuse you inflicted.

2) Specifically, we find it breathtaking that your country's elected officials carries on like this. I can see in the abstract why Europe wants to engage in this sort of behavior; I wish they didn't, but they at least have a reason, no matter how tenuous, to be afraid of us and try to create a counter-weight to America's growing influence n the world market. We are a nation at war with Islamic Terrorism, and Europe is far closer to the line of fire than Canada. So though I don't like European anti-American drum-beating, at least I see their pragmatic motivations (money, power, influence).

There are examples in the media, quotes taken directly from the pieholes of your elected officials, saying things like "Americans are idiots," "they are a cruel, militaristic people," and my favorite "America is going to go apeshit when we start selling our excess oil to China. It's going to be fun watching them squirm when happens."

The US is by far Canada's largest trading partner and Canada is by far the US's largest trading partner:

Magnitude of the importance to Canada from US imports and exports:

Export partners: US 86.6%, Japan 2.1%, UK 1.4% (2003)
Import partners: US 60.6%, China 5.6%, Japan 4.1% (2003)

Magnitude of the importance to the US from Canadian imports and exports:

Export partners: Canada 23.4%, Mexico 13.5%, Japan 7.2%, UK 4.7%, Germany 4% (2003).
Import partners: Canada 17.4%, China 12.5%, Mexico 10.7%, Japan 9.3%, Germany 5.3% (2003).

If money talks (or is a very powerful force), then I would think that your Country's elected officials may want to tone it down a bit, wouldn't you?

There are many people in your country that revel in America failing. This has two problems: a) people that engage in this sort of cheerleading are putting the common good below partisanship; and, b) it incites anger in your populace to swell towards your most economically important ally. Go figure.

3) Our societies are different. Deal with it. Do not fault us for our unique society, and we will not fault yours. It is fair of us to criticize your country's shortcomings, and vice versa. But given the America-hatred now brewing across your country, it would seem wise to stem that tide quickly. Our nation has a fiercely strong independent/self-reliance streak, and it is this characteristic that will never allow us to ape your society's solution to our problems.

4) Why does America lacking knowledge of Canadian geography matter? We are a land-locked country, and most American have no need to learn a foreign languages, and it is expedient for us not to need to learn a second language. This charge (Americans don't have a worldly outlook, they think the world revolves around us; perhaps they should all go to Europe or Canada to become enlightened) is ridiculous.

Here's a fun and EZ exercise to engage in.

a) Grab a map of the world.
b) Then pick any city in the US, say NYC, STL or LA.
c) Then, using a compass (geometric, not moral or directional) and draw a 1,000 mile radius around that point. Ask yourself the likelihood of the US going to war with any country that lies within this first circle.
d) Do the same thing from Tokyo and from Paris.

You'll see where the hotspots are, and your country is not on the list. Indeed, short of Antarctica, you probably live in the safest place on earth (military-threat thinking). Whatever threat your country has will most likely come from within, and not from outside Canada. Thus, whereas America-bashing is understandable (thought dangerous) when coming from America's enemies, it is completely beyond me why it's so common in Canada.

That's enough posting for now. I'm sorry for the lengthy post, but that's what you get when you want to discuss things in a vibrant and logical manner.

I was born in the USA and moved to Canada when I was about 7. Since then,(quite literally) I've dealt with America bashing. KCTrio, I loved your post. Unfortunately it will fall on deaf ears, of course, but I appreciate it.

It's surprisingly common to hear Canadians light-heartedly chatting about how great it would be if there was another Pearl Harbour or 9/11. Mostly not serious, but I certainly don't share their sense of humor. 2 Canadians were killed in the WTC attacks, and 2 were killed by insurgents/terrorists in Iraq. Hardly got a mention in the papers. However, when 4 Canadians were accidentally killed by an American pilot (you recall the incident?) , for weeks the first 3 pages of the paper had at least one item about the event. Outrage that the Americans would do something like this. (Clearly, the pilot dropped the bomb because he knew they were Canadians and Americans just wish they could be from Canada)

Canadians #1 reason for thinking Americans are stupid is that Americans think Canada is cold...these same Canadians, when questioned about how they're dealing with the cold weather, will say, "I can handle it. I'm Canadian. I'm used to the cold." Not to mention the fact that over 50% of Canada is permanently frozen. Over 90% of the population lives within 200 miles of the American border, where it gets hot in the summer, but the winter's are a hell of a lot colder. I don't think it's a stretch to suggest that if they were to compare the weather in Southern Ontario and say...New York , they would find that Canada is in fact COLD!

My last point is that Canadians are jealous. They won't admit, but the comment I hear the most from Canadians re: Americans? "They all think their country is the greatest in the world." Pretty well word for word. Someone I lived with 2 years ago commented during the California forest fires, "it serves them right for thinking they're better than us."

What country do Canadians think is the best country in the world? Canada, of course. So the #1 reason to hate Americans? They think they're great, but why doesn't anyone notice that we're greater??? Note: I can think of a few reasons.... (Not that they will admit it. Most will spout something that they heard was in Fahrenheit 9/11, not that they bothered seeing it)

For you Canadians, the reason that American's do not know a lot about the great Nation of Canada is not that they're stupid. It's that Canada is pretty well a non-entity when it comes to International Affairs. They don't need to know a lot about Canada. On the flip side, Canadians don't seem to know a whole lot about Americans either. I could only laugh during the olympics when the "letters to the editor" sections in the papers were filled with, "American's think they're so great, always rubbing their medals in our faces. We have better things to do than win medals at stupid sporting events." Now, this is not an exact quote, but if I could possibly find the article (not even going to try) I'm sure that I'm pretty close. The thing is, (for you Canadians again) America was not rubbing medals in your face; you were rubbing the medals in your own face.

Canada is not really a proud country, as you claim. The sad part is, Canada/Canadians have a lot to be proud of. You would rather cheer whenever there is bad news in America than cheer about good news at home. People I know sat around the TV watching Americans during the Olympics hoping for a loss instead of sitting down to cheer on Canada.

Canadians, (I am one of them, by the way), and any Americans, if you've seen the commercials; have you ever REALLY watched the 'I AM CANADIAN' beer commercials that the country loves so much? Listen closely. The commercials are not, 'I AM CANADIAN' commercials at all. The message is, "I'M NOT AMERICAN".

I've lived in Japan for a couple of months now, and I could only smile at the pictures of Canadians on classroom walls...wearing Parkas and fishing from igloos. THAT IS THE IMAGE CANADA HAS PAINTED OF ITSELF.

One last point that a previous poster did touch on...being 'educated' to hate Americans. I can recall being in high school History and the course focussing on America's 'mistakes'. "During the 1920's, America isolated itself from the rest of the world." (msg: American's don't care about anyone else) By the way, I'm not disagreeing with the 20's statement, its just the msg afterword that they choose to teach. And following that, of course, "America is always trying to stick it's nose where it doesn't belong". MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!! I don't see Canada doing a thing for peace. The gov't would not even consider sending any real manpower overseas (partly because they might have to rent planes from Russia and China like they did when they sent a team to Indonesia following the earthquake/tsunami at the end of 2004). But mostly because the government here has stayed in power so long by remaining anti-american. To the new PM's credit (Paul Martin), he seems to be trying to walk the fence and reach out a little to America. The reason he has to walk that fence is that he's in a situation right now with a minority government, and he can't afford to lose any more support. (Canada's system is much like the British system, where the winning candidate is the one whose party has won the most 'seats' in the house of commons, or the Canadian Congress, if you will) Right now the Liberal party does not have a majority and sometimes needs support from other parties. Unfortunately for them, their major opposition is from the Conservative party, the party most likely to help them out with issues concerning Canada-America relations.

I think that's about all I care to cover for now...and more than what you care to read...sorry for the odd arrangement of ideas...it's tough to sort everything out in these little boxes :)

johanreturns,

Great comment! My wife and I have gone to Canada a few times since we were married, and we plan to go again (this time to Alberta) soon.

We've found that there really is a lot to like about Canada, but then again, we've only visited in the summer. :-) People are actually pretty friendly, most places are pretty clean, and the dollar goes pretty far if it weren't for all the )*&^(#*&% taxes. There are also a lot of beautiful and historic things to see.

What seemed funny to me is that how many things are done in reaction to something that happened in the U.S., starting with the formation of Canada in 1864 as a reaction to the U.S. Civil War. (I'm not making this up; this is what I got from touring the Parliament building in Charlottetown.) There are forts bui;t in reaction to the American Revolution. Looking back at history, a lot of ship and engine-building crossed the U.S.-Canadian border quite a bit.

What is unfortunate about America-bashing, no matter where it comes from, is that it is usually done by people who have a problem with themselves. This applies to the Canadian government (especially before Paul Martin came into power), the French, the current Spanish government, and for that matter, the leftists professors and professional protesters in the U.S.

By the way, if you want to go to Canada, I think the place to go is Alberta. It seems to be the epicenter of the Conservative Party. We found out that they are CUTTING their sales taxes on tourists starting in April 2005. Who cuts taxes on people who can't even vote? Amazing!

Hey thanks! Yes, Canada is a great place, and Alberta's especially great! Sales taxes in my province (British Columbia) are double Alberta's. And yes, the Conservative party is strong in Alberta. In fact, I believe that EVERY seat in Alberta went to the Conservatives, but there could have been 1 or 2 New Democrats seats. (Canadian So*#&ists) Can't type the word because it gets content edited.

Unfortunately, with the election system in place now we know the outcome of the election long before our vote is even counted. (To be fair, it only makes sense because of the population spread). There has been a lot of talk about Alberta separating from the rest of Canada. This talk has been going on for years and its mostly just talk, but it is nice to know that there are conservatives close by :)

Ron, I actually didn't realize about all the Canadian History that was such a direct reaction to something in the US of A. They're pretty intertwined, but I didn't realize on such a micro-level in many cases. Thanks for pointing that out!

Hey! Hands off Kids in the Hall. They were the funniest ever.

Well, except for Kevin.

Mikey: My grandfather emigrated from Canada after WWI, in fact I'm going there this weekend for a wedding, a cousin is getting married. I've spent a lot of time in Canada, like it, like most of the Canadians I've met are pretty good people. The anti-Americanism is there, and it's so wierd. Sometimes I even ask why anyone actually bothers and can never get an answer, well not a good one. It's usually "you Americans think you're so great," to which the reply is "so why do you even care what we think of ourselves?" Again, never a good answer to the question.

I think it's because we're so big (population) and they're so small (population), and most Canadians live close to the US border that it becomes difficult for them to differentiate a" Canadianness" from the vast US culture flowing north. It seems that this push to differentiate themselves has led some to latch onto anti-Americanism, as a vehicle for national identity.

But then again, I could be wrong.

Now why in the world did I put my own name at the front of my own post?

Need more sleep, I think.

This Canadian finds the American Idol bit very very funny and mostly true but dawg, Simon made one big error.

In spite of the fact the US is a big meanie re softwood lumber, and mad cow disease etc, and in spite of the ridiculous amount of taxes we pay, our economy is indeed thriving, I know first hand, we're in the house construction industry and we've been doing AOK even when you all were suffering the long post 9-11 slump. We got trade surplus baby.

I think the useless tits in the federal Liberal party are more anti American than most Canadians and for those Americans who've had bad experiences, give me names and numbers, LOL. You must have been in Toronto or Quebec, maybe Vancouver.

It's not like those fat ass Americans need any more beef anyway. This is working out great for the Candian beef industry since as a result of their refusal to allow our beef in we are building more slaughterhouses up here. That means more of them will be out of work since that was where we were sending the beef. It must really piss them off that Canada is the only G7 nation still running a surplus and that illiterate moron they have running the country is driving them into debt.

johanreturns:
"Canadians, (I am one of them, by the way)"

No, no your not, you may live here but your not canadian.

Some of what you say may be true, most is not. Funny thing is that when americans are confronted by any negative feedback from canada is any one of these:

they need us:
we protect them:
we are better than them:
they are just jeaulous:

"they need us"
A large part of this arguement comes from our wannabe traitors like a few here. We dont need you, our leadership, and media has just failed to prove it. Given the choice between a increased trading relationsip with the us and a lesser standard of living and less trading with the us most canadians would jump at the second opportunity. Our leadership failings in this is not your fault. That you consistantly try to rape us and cheat us, and lord it over us at every opportunity is. you are not a good "friend" to have. there are wannabe slaves like johanreturns that may want it but most dont. That is what you are seeing, a poorly expressed will of the majority of our people to be free of your influence.

"we protect them"
you do not protect us, after ww2 the western nations joined together, you di d not fight ww2 alone, nor did you "fight" the cold war alone. From what I can tell most of this american disrespect comes from the fact that we wont join you in this "war on terror" crap. This is offensive. What would you say if some country told you that you had to fight their wars for them? the wars that they caused by their foreign policy. You americans would tell them to go f themselves. Same thing we are doing to you. your mess, you clean it up, or else quit screwing us over every chance you get and we might help you.

"we are better than you"
no country likes to be constantly told that they are less than you. just as you respond to our "superiority" claims then so do we respond to your consistant and habitual arrogance. why are you suprised, that something that can not be quantified (better) in any measurably form will have different people saying differnet things? apparently others say the same thing, because when i go overseas i do not have to pretend i am from another country, like many americans do. maybe your not as bad as peope say you are, but your attitude makes it pretty hard to be forgiving, and maybe we canadians are just not good enough people to constantly forgive your lack of respect for everyone else.

"they are just jealous"
instead of automatically assuming this when you get anyting negative directed at you. maybe think where other people are coming from. what if it is not jealousy? you have alot to think about then.

The first post was rather clever and i enjoyed it even though it may have lacked a little originality (what *would* Simon say?)

You could sum up Canada's identity crisis with its inferiority complex to its neighbour, who is 10 times more populous and ten times richer.

On the other hand, you can sum up right-wing America's dramatic disatisfaction with Canada with this: No matter what America does, no matter how good-natured and altruistic, the rest of the world is still going to love Canada a whole lot more.

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