No offense to your fine sponsors Ace, but im actually more attracted to the picture of Reagan than the chick wearing the Tshirt. Bring back Dusty.

Actually, there is a very Zen root to that analysis; the Beginner Mind.
Mr Paul Anka is exhorting the band to always proceed with the mind of the beginner, the fresh mind, that which is ready to try and give.

Okay, Anka comes over as a jerk. But I do admire his professionalism: the fans came to see a show; you owe it to them to give them the best show you can. And the truth is, those people paying the band's salary through ticket sales aren't buying tickets to see The Paul Anka Band; they're there to see Paul Anka.

I wish that some more contemporary musicians had the same attitude (you there, Axl?) instead of feeling that the audience owes them a living.

I always thought Paul Anka was the King of Nice.

But apparently, he is the KING OF SLICE!

I think there could be a best seller somewhere in there for someone who actually knows something about management and isn't as lazy as I am. "Get full value for your money, or Everything I need to know about management I learned from Paul Anka." Chapter headings: The guys get shirts ; Who is your Joe and where is he?; Find your integrity kick; Know when to slice like a hammer, etc. Stupider ideas have sold a lot of books. Forget the screenplay, Ace. Get on with it.

skinbad - That is one brill-YANT idea. In fact, I'd say you slice like a fuckin' hammer.

I'd buy it -- but only if Ace wrote it and I could get my copy autographed.

What's it gonna be guys?

This has to be the most twisted logic I've ever read, unless the writer is kidding (I guess if he's trying to be funny, he's taking the serious-tone approach).

But, let's assume for sake of argument that the author of that essay is serious. If he is, then he's absolutely fucking out of his mind. No one will ever achieve excellence in an environment where any risk taking whatsoever is stifled.

Hey, I'm all into chain-of-command and such, and the boss is the boss, but there's something called human decency, and this tape shows that Anka fails the test. Fear-based management is nuts. Talk to Tony Dungee and ask him what he would think of such an approach.

To work day after day and listen to the scathing, dehumanizing rants of a mother fucker like that is nothing short of criminal (on the part of the boss, not the worker). If Anka still treats his band members like that, he's inevitably going to get sued out his ass for abuse. And if the fucker treats his subordinates that way in California, look out. The laws out there don't favor the employer too kindly.

Anyone who suffers under such a maniacal freak as this is a submissive person, needs the job because he needs the money and is willing to take abuse and let it slide (or internalize it) in order to keep up the mortgage payments, or both. And those who internalize it will suffer. That's the lawsuit.

I worked for a cocksucker like that 10 years ago. And I stood up to the fucker, and he never touched me once I did. But night after night, sometimes until midnight, I had to listen to this bastard pick his target and shred them. The guy even threw staplers at people. He was 5'2" tall, had an identical twin brother, and was mentally insane.

I even made a tape of one of our meetings to use as proof for people that didn't believe that I'd worked for a monster. I'd describe the shit he would do to people and they would retort that everyone has bad bosses, yours couldn't have been that bad. Then I'd play the tape. I bet that's why that tape of Anka's exists.

That tape of Anka still sends chills down my spine when I hear it, because it sounds just like the fucker I worked for. The only difference now is that I can laugh at the Anka tape, which means that I've forgotten the pain inflicted by the guy that I worked for. But that took lots of time, and when I think about it, it still stings a bit (hence, this post of mine).

Anka is a monster with blood dripping from his maw. Anyone defending his "management techniques" is also insane.

However, here are a few exceptions where the Anka approach to management might apply:

1) Military;
2) Moonbats;
3) Professional athletes;
3) CIA questioners of terrorists; and,
4) News rooms and universities that suffer from groupthink.

Probably a few more, but the list should be short.

Again, if the guy who wrote that essay was trying to be funny, I get it and I think it's sort of funny. But the, Ace wins the humor contest hands-down, by a country mile.

If he is serious, I think I have a few tricks up my sleeve that might knock some sense into the bastard. I remember them from the guy that I worked for.

KC,

He's kidding. ALthough I do think it prudent to defer to the wisdom of Mr. Paul Anka.

That tape of Anka still sends chills down my spine when I hear it, because it sounds just like the fucker I worked for.

But could the guy you worked for belt out "Having My Baby" in such a way that it made you want to find a lovely way of showing how much you loved him?

Well, Mr. Ansana,

Now that you mention it, he did use the expressions "ream your fuckin' asses," and "loose shit," the hauntingly-similar "slowest boat in the fleet," and the strange "you're gonna become my boy-toy by the time I get finished with you."

It gets worse. His brother got divorced and remaried to a 20 year old hottie, so he screws around with my boss, who's also a hottie. His brother gets a $100,000 car, so he sends his secretary to go get him a $150,000 car. The two twin maniacs live about 1,500 miles apart, but they compete constantly. And he was in his early-50s at the time.

So, although I never was on the receiving end of those little pharses of his, many men were. And if one of them happened to have some kind of strange body parts that enabled them to become pregnant through the backside, or if he had the eggs in his prostate, I suppose they might have been able to deliver.

But you know the worse part? His little yes-men (the ones who took glee in watching others get reamed by him; he didn't ream everyone, just 90% of the staff. In my book, if you revel in another's misery, you've forgotten that you could be next. Pretty evil stuff) might have desired to bear his child. And I know my boss longed to have his love chld.

So the answer to your question is no from me personally, but yes in the general sense that he inspired some kind of wierd idol worship amongst his fawning lickspittles. And they would have gladly had his baby, or given him one (or at least tried).

Thanks for the lovely question. I hope I've answered your question sufficiently.

Ace:

I stand corrected. Loose shit everywhere. You are a man of wisdom, no doubt. And I kind of figured he was kidding, but just on the slightest chance he wasn't, I vented.

Look at the shit I wrote in that post, and you can see what I've endured. That tape of Anka is what brought me to this site, and in a joyous sense, you cannot believe the sense of calm I felt after having listened to it and laughed. I realized I had forgotten my past.

So that tape brought me here, and since then I've been graced with laughter on a daily basis, much of it due to the hidden jewels of humor that are all over the place. Laughter is what lightens the soul, and adds beauty to our days on this earth. And when it's filthy humor, the grace and beauty are hightened.

And I've broken the sacred code of honor; I must defer to the wisdom of Mr. Paul Anka.

Thanks for the course-correction. I'm trainable, and I've got my choke collar on, all I needed was a quick tug on the leash, which you've provided.

Sorry for the loose shit, Ace.

KC,

Sorry if I helped push a button. I was thinking of books I know I've seen such as Management Lessons from Jesus, or Run your Business with Abraham Lincoln's Leadership Principles. I think you could do something interesting pulling out principles (both good and bad) from Anka's tirade. It's hard for me to conclude the guy is a monster without hearing from people who worked for him over a period of time. Maybe reasonable efforts to clear up the loose shit had been going on for some time before the bomb was lit that night. As Ace and Wonkette know in a mutual fashion, sometimes an ass needs reaming.

Skinbad:

Thanks for your kind words. You didn't strike the nerve, Spider over at Cavalry Charge did (unless that's you).

Ass reamings are appropriate in any business of any kind, even in open-management corporations with horizantal management structure and positive corporate cultures. Hell, I'd even go so far as to say truly wicked managers that spread their fear-based approach to management across a good corproate culture need a good ass-reaming.

But ass-reamings should be done in private. That's what they are for. A come-to-Jesus talk is necessary and appropriate for those that transgress beyond any rational standard of behavior.

But a public ass-reaming? Rarely useful. Sort of like trying to fix a broken TV set with a sledge hammer. Might help, but usually does more harm than good. But the exceptions I gave in my list I believe are fair (military, police, professional sports teams, etc.).

As far as your idea of an Anthony Robbins type mega-seller, by stating obvious shit and selling them by the millions, you're straight on point. No loose shit, but great idea. And funny, too. To add to your suggestion, how about "Jefferson Davis's Guide to Living the Pious Life"? That could be the second edition to the Abe Lincoln book you suggested.

Thanks for your thoughtful concern.

Skinbad:

I forgot to add that Ace set me straight, and let it be known that it was a satire piece. So, whatever the case, my reaction to the post was my own, and no one else's. I'm responsible for how I interpret things, not the guy who wrote the thought.

Regardless of whether it was a joke or serious.

I hate to differ, but the Paul Anka style is one that I am all too familiar with from my time in theater, and as much as I despise it and think that it is a poor way to do things, it gets results.

Artists and production technicians need a different type of motivation than do normal employees, apparently. All I know is that our director hates giving us compliments, because every time he does, we start to suck. I can't stand working with the man, but I can't argue with the facts.

Paul Anka's style is absolutely par for the course.

Mastiff:

I play jazz piano and sing baritone in a choir. I work about 10 hours per week on choir practice, and about three times that much during Christmas and Easter. I also do cantor duties for two masses each week at my local parish (5,000 total member parish, the 11:00 mass that I sing at does have about 1,200 attendees each week; the lighter masses where the choir is not present get about 100-300 per week; those are for a cantor). The choir is pretty large, 120 singers, and I'm in the traditional choir (70). Most of these folks are 60 years old or older. I'm the youngest by 21 years in the traditional choir. Our choir master and organist are both classically trained musicians. For major performances, both choirs perform together, 120 strong. Of course, ass-reaming and church choir don't mix well together, I'll grant you that.

We do some fairly complex performances, and drill is the norm. However, this is a church choir, and you'd never hear Anka-like tirades at such practices. But both the choir master and the organist demand perfection from us.

But as far as concert performers and the like, I'd probably add those folks to my list of "acceptable ass-reaming management style" jobs. But those types of musicians must work in perfect unity to get it honed. And they practice a hell of a lot more than I. But really, do you think that this approach is the best way to get results? Or are you simply saying that it is the way that the majority uses to get results? If it's the latter, then I'll defer to your experience, which is vastly more informed than mine.

But ass-reaming only gets you so far. I'm not implying that a new-age approach of "you are all great, keep trying" while everyone sucks is the right technique. But there are ways to get musicians or other performers to practice until they hit the heights of their abilities. Like "Let's do it again." Over and over and over. But drop the ass-reaming.

I also play jazz piano in a group, but this is rare (I do it for fun). But if we were a professional group, we'd bust our asses to get it right. But no ass-reaming would devolve upon any of us, because we play as a unit. I don't recall stories of Duke Ellington reaming the asses of his band. I may be wrong on this; perhaps Ellington did some ass-reaming every practice. It does seem to me that if anyone has a right to do some ass-reaming, I'd say Duke over Anka, hands-down.

You can push the living shit out of people, and still keep your demands bereft of treating people as human punching bags.

Answer me this: If your daughter or son were offered a job with a professional orchestra as a cellist, would you want him or her to put up with a conductor that treated his orchestra members like that? I know that this is an emotional question, but I think it's fair.

Granted, KCT. I certainly don't think that such practices are the best way to do things. But it does seem to be common.

Mastiff:

You did take a rather measured approach in your original post, mentioning that to you it seemed to be pretty common but not necessarily the best method.

That's the part where, if I seemed to imply that you were saying that the ass-reaming approach to management is better, I am sorry for that. Because you weren't, you just said it was effective (to a certain point) and seemed to permeate the industry.

With that, who's up for a list of people that need to be put in Mr. Anka's line for their own ass-reaming? From the sound of that tape, Anka could go for hours and not break a sweat.

My first entry to the list would be...Daily Kos.