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« Police Raid Home To Capture Most-Wanted Hamster | Main | Which D&D Character Are You? »
March 07, 2005

Man Surprised To Discover Five-Inch Knife Stuck Through His Head

He just wanted some aspirin:

Hospital staff treating a retired school teacher for a headache found a five inch knife blade wedged in his head.

The discovery was made after doctors X-rayed Leonard Woronowicz to see if he had cracked his skull in a fall while climbing over a stool in his kitchen four days earlier.

Instead they found a blade that had penetrated the 61-year-old's head just below his right ear. It had snapped off at the handle without touching any major blood vessels or nerves - or causing any lasting damage.

He said: "I thought they might give me an aspirin, instead they pulled a five inch knife blade out of my head."

Give the man his props: he's no whiner. When one of my cuticles tears back I'm hyperaware of it for a week.

In related news, doctors were surprised to discover that former President Jimmy Carter did not in fact have a brain in his head. The organ occupying the space in his skulls could not be immediately identified, but it appeared to be some sort of cross between hardened custard and a dyspeptic liver.

Thanks to Ron.


posted by Ace at 03:20 PM
Comments



Well, if this guy can walk around and not know that a knife is stuck in his head, that explains some of the liberal bloggers and how they can go on and on seemingly unknowing that their heads are stuck up their asses.

Posted by: Mark on March 7, 2005 04:29 PM

Ho. Ly. Shit.

THe dude's a vampire or something. I mean, how can you be unaware of a 5 inch BLADE in your HEAD?

wow.

Posted by: hobgoblin on March 7, 2005 04:32 PM

hob, I think they call it alcohol.

Posted by: lyle on March 7, 2005 04:42 PM

This guy sounds really tough or really loaded. I've heard opiate addicts sustain injuries and don't know how bad they really are till they get much worse. As for me: "When one of my cuticles tears back I'm hyperaware of it for a week!"

Posted by: 72VIRGINS on March 7, 2005 05:02 PM

Good thing that blade sliced like a knife, 'cause if it sliced like a hammer ..

Posted by: Joe Mama on March 7, 2005 05:25 PM

This is what happens when your ER doc is an amateur magician.

"Aw, whats wrong, Billy. I bet there's something that'll cheer you up... behind your ear!"

Posted by: Eric Pobirs on March 7, 2005 07:14 PM

"...and a dyspeptic liver"

Stolen from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy description of Vogons. You're into nerd overdrive today Ace!

Posted by: JeffK on March 8, 2005 08:50 AM
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