OUR FALLEN LEADER!!! (peace be upon him)

I can't tell if you're being serious or not, but if you are, I have to say this is extremely cool.

Jeff,

2 Questions:

1) Can you understand why people may have a problem with your journalistic style?

2) W seemingly has a bald head fetish. He has been seen touching or rubbing many bald heads. Has he ever laid a hand on your bald head?

I'm serious. I'm corresponding with someone at the jeff.gannon@jeffgannon.com address listed on what I've always believed was his actual website.

Unless I'm the victim of a very good spoof, it seems real enough.

... then again, if you're not being serious, it's still pretty damned funny, so you win either way.

But if I were to ask Jeff Gannon a question, it would be this (these):

1. Did the administration ever feed you questions, plant you in the press pool, or otherwise do anything to make you any kind of shill, barker, etc.?

2. What's the deal with the Valerie Plame story anyway? Could you sum it up for us in, say, 50 words or less? And, do you think anyone will go to jail, and if so, who?

I'm wondering if His Gannonness has plans for wreaking revenge upon those who defiled his mighty name? In terms of non-beliver suffering, on a scale of Al Franken to Conan, where would his plans fall?
Obviously those plans must be kept confidential, but perhaps His Gannonness can give us some moral boosting hints to counter the lefties mighty victory?

1. Was being a White House correspondent a dream come true for you in your career, right where you wanted to be? Or are other positions you'd be just as glad to have?

2. Are you officially, eternally banned from the briefings, or could you conceivably just apply for a day pass and get back in there? And do you plan to?

Jeff,
Is that your REAL c*ck? If you used a stunt c*ck for the Americablog photoshoot, who was it? Do you find 'bears' seksy?

What type of body type do you find more attractive? a) Oliver Willis pear shape b) Markos Zuniga stocky c) Duncan Black fit d) Andrew Sullivan bulky??

Mr. Gannon,

When did you first know or suspect that other journalists were investigating you?

Jeff, one of the more recent (unsourced) allegations to surface regarding your time as a reporter is that you frequently had the scoop ahead of anyone else. In fact, it's claimed on Aravosis' blog (which, let me be clear, I find reprehensible) that you (1) were aware of the exact time of the commencement of hostilities in Iraq, (2) shared that knowledge orally with other reporters a full four hours ahead of time.

Now, that's a pretty serious charge with genuine national security implications -- can you confirm or deny it? If it is true, can you tell us who gave you this information?

If true this is so cool! I'll have to come up with some seriously craptastic questions. Will check back later after my medication wears off...

James:

1. Many of the lefties have said it was right to out you because you and/or Talon News published "homophobic" articles. Have you or Talon published anything about gay issues? What?

2. Did you ever ask McClellan or Bush tough questions from the right, as we are now reading? Where can we find them in the transcripts?

Since I can't top Rusty's assininity (not that there's anything wrong with that, Professor), I've only got one real question:

Did you (the Great Gannon) ever have any direct connections with White House or Administration staff regarding your work product (questions, articles, etc.)?

Aside from that, there really IS no story.

And sorry the Left-o-sphere has treated you so shabbily. I may disagree with your lifestyle, but I'd never use it to attack you (or others by proxy, which is really what they're doing)

Can you explain why the moonbats love a congressman who takes it in the bum, but not a reporter that does likewise?

Is he going to be in Oakland anytime soon?

The big question I have is:
Alot of people are making it sound like you have to get a Top Secret clearance background check from the FBI, CIA, ATF and NEA to get a daily pass to the briefings. Just how hard is it to get a 1 day pass? Does it take a while, or is it just a matter of showing up early enough to get in line first? Could I get it just for shits'n'giggles?

Question 1
Did you really think no one would ever know, or was it that you thought people wouldn't make a big deal out of your lifestyle excesses.

Question2
Do you feel that, by keeping this information from your employers and from the folks in the administration that allowed you in the briefing room, that you have betrayed either?

Did you (O mighty Gannon) have any previous experience as a writer before you began working for Talon News?

Jeff - I realize these questions are of a deeply personal nature, but I'm sure many of Ace's readers would like to see them addressed:

When did you first become aware that you were "different", i.e., that you were a "journalist." Did you candidly discuss (uncloset) your "journalist" tendencies with family and close friends, and how did they react when they found out?

Damn! "At" beat me to my question.
I suppose I could just claim that it was me and I forgot to log in.

I was so enthusiastic about my question I think I might have accidentally E-mailed it to Ace three times.

I wanna know if this muscular man's man is really a bone smuggler? Has he ever hid the salami? Has he ever shone another man's hitler helmet? has he ever had another man pack his shit? Is he a butt pirate? Does he enjoy the smell of man-ass? Is he a queer already?

Mr. Gannon:

1. In your absence, will conservatism survive or will it simply evolve into something totally unrecognizable? Follow up: Will you be able to remain the conservative 'straw that stirs the drink' now that you have lost your day pass?

2. Can my one's life have meaning in this new world Kos and Atrious have let loose on us. I mean, a meaning worth getting our of bed for in the morning?

3. Why does evil, exist? Are you not powerful enough to stop it or are bad things somehow part of your 'plan?'

(Please do not weasel out of this by saying 'free will ' necessitates the possibility of evil choices. Why did you let bad EVENTS happen, ala the Tsunami, huh? Huh?)

4. What were all the other reporters like? I mean really. Who was always the first at the donut table grabbing the 'bear claw' or wouldn't contribute to the coffee jar but still was always helping themselves always saying they'll pitch in 'next week'? Is Helen Thomas as dreamy as she appears? Dish!

You know I love you guys, but these questions suck. :/

Medication still wearing off...

Sheesh, the fake questions.

1) What exactly does one do to get a 'Daily Pass' on a random day with no special events?

2) How intense was your background check if any?

3) Were you ever denied a daily pass?

4) What were the worst questions you heard asked? Why were they bad questions?

Mr. Gannon,

Who is hotter, Mary Ann or Ginger?

(huh? oh!)

Never mind.

Mr. Gannon,

Could you please confirm the movie is already in the works?
Thank you.

Hi, this is Howard [not at] and I forgot to log in again:

Mr. Gannon,

I think I speak for many of Ace's readers when I say that I personally find your "journalistic" tendencies repulsive, but as good VRW Christians we've been taught to "hate the sin and not the sinner."

On the other hand, Mr. Gannon, some of us have more difficulty accepting the notion that you have apparently accepted remuneration from Talon News in exchange for your "journalistic" skills. Please help us recocile this concept of your uncontrollable urges with the whole "pay for journalism" thingy.

Thanks,
Howard

Mr. Gannon? Mr. Gannon? Over here, Mr. Gannon?

Thank you. (standing) Um... Ray Midge... Arkansas Gazette.

Uh, recently, prominent leaders on the left, Kos, Atrios, among others, have announced a new policy of 'anything goes' with regard to those with whom they disagree politcially, going so far as to endorse 'open season' on unknowns, using their sexual orientation toward their 'opponents' personal destruction (despite claimed principles contray) and other hoped-to-be-verified-later claims regarding their past life.

Some have even gone so far as to claim that a recent such wilding on an never heard of journalist represents a 'major victory' and a blemish, somehow, on the white house or even conservatism rather than on themselves.

My question, Mr. Gannon, how to you propose to work with people so obviously divorced from reality?

Who is hotter: Mr. Howell, Gilligan, the Skipper, or the Professor?

Confidential to "Flowerbed": The movie is already in pre-production. Working title: "Shattered Ass".

God the left sucks.
I just spent some time looking for the Jeff Gannon nudy pics, they are all over the damn lefty blogs. Including one gay freindly liberal bullshit machine. I would like to know how that incredible stud Jeff Gannon feels about these alleged gay-freindly liberals outing him in such a nasty and vulgar manner. It is really quite miserable how these lefty savages are ripping this guy apart because of his political tendancies.

Oh BTW Jeff is really hot and sexy.

My question: "Did you ever dick Cheney?"

1. You have said that you only registered gay porn sites because it was a requirement of your employer. Is this true?

2. Are you gay? I don't really care one way or the other but so many people are making the accusation (and gloating over it, I might add) that I would like to get a direct answer.

3. Is it difficult to get a 1 day press pass?

Do you feel that there is a place for homosexuals in the Republican Party?

Do you feel that the Log Cabin Group is doing justice for gay Republicans?

I've been trying to break into the gay escort business for a few years now, with no luck. How much did you charge? How effective were your internet ads? Should I photoshop my gut and massive body hair away, or just put my face on some other dude's really hot bod? As an aggressive, dominating top, how do you handle requests to be a bottom? Charge more $$ and take it, or turn the business away?

I would like to vote for Jim's question.

As a gay republican I rarely hear anything about the L.C. guys, but I do wonder if such a group is really needed. For me , being a republican always revolved around an understanding that I wanted a smaller federal gvt. I just don't see why the fed gvt needs to support a gay or a straight agenda. Just leave us all the hell alone.

1. What were the security clearance procedures?

2. Did you use your real name to get a press pass?

"at" it again--

Jeff,

I know you're having tough times right now, but I can't resist the "told you so." Dammit, man, we tried to convince you you had a steady, secure livelihood pushing M4M bareback websites, and not a thing wrong with it, either. There was absolutely no need to spread yourself for the likes of Glass, Blair, Rather, and Jordan.

We hate to see you become the "Mary Mapes" of the blogosphere, but that may well be the best you can hope for at this juncture. At least you're not Moonves.

At

Does he have any relation whatsover with Johnny D. Gosch (abducted 1982 in Des Moines, Iowa) or James D. Gannon (editor of the Des Moines Register when Danny was abducted)?

Jeff, why are you wasting your 8-1/2 cut on men? Come and visit me babe, you'll never go back!

Jeff:

Peanut Butter, or Crunch Berries?

(I want to know... I like Crunch Berries myself, and I'm worried it may indicate latent journalistic tendencies.)

Oh I just thought of something. What will Jeff do next? I hope he will parlay all this bad press into something lucrative. Maybe a book deal or some crazy blog money? Also Im very happy for you Ace, this exclusive interview could be your ticket to some insane blog money.

Maybe ask him if he's aware of other journalists that use "stage names"? Ask him why *he* did?

Mr. Gluckert,

Has Wonkette tried to get you a book deal yet?

I'm curious if Mr. Gannon could get me the phone number of the hot dude in those ghay "weight training" blogads (that are on 75% of the righty blogs I read). That is all.

1) Did you feel your best season was with the Raiders?

2) What was it like playing with Jerry Rice?

This March 6 Free Republic post by Gannon -- as well as this March 9 Talon News story say that Gannon was subpoenaed by a Federal grand jury in the Valerie Plame affair.

This
lefty site is now (ironically, though the irony is evidently lost on its proprietors) citing the Talon News report and eschewing the E&P and WaPo reports to claim that Gannon really IS a major player in the Plame affair.

Can Gannon set the record straight on this point once and for all?

Why does Helen Thomas, and by association the entire left, want to destroy the gay community?

In what way is it even appropriate to focus on the sexual orientation of someone who's job involves asking questions and writing down the answers? Is gayness somehow linked to bad grammer or penmenship?

Is there no limit to the massive hypocricy of the Democrats?

Ask him if the left devoted so much "ink" to his story because he strayed from the "lavender plantation" and if he thinks the left has decided that the private lives of gay conservatives are now fair game for their "exposés."