The ex-soldier sounds like a total idiot. "He didn't seem suicidal?" Here i was thinking it was an old Hollywood trick to always show the stupid guards who are always easily knocked ou tor tricked. But it seems it happens in real life too. What a tool.

I love those strippers who claim to be going to vetrinarian school. What happens when they actually have to operate on an animal? "Im sorry, Mr. Amish-i cant save your dog- but i can give you a lapdance."

Mr. Amish: "Oh...OK."

Well, here's hoping this idiot doesn't have anything to do with the security arrangements for Saddam Hussein...

Yeah, you guys are ' just plain embarassing' sometimes. But we love you anyway.

Which reminds me of an old joke:

"A man was speaking to God.

'God, why did you make women so beautiful?' he asked.

God said: 'I did that to make you love them'.

Then the man asked: 'Well, God; why did you make them such good cooks?'

God said: 'I did that to make you love them'.

The man then asked: 'But God, why did you make women so stupid?'.

God said: 'I did that to make them love you ! '

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes."

The woman freed the frog and he said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. That what ever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"

The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock too."

The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most Beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me."

So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine."

So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever bitches. Don't mess with them.

Amish Chestnuts on an open fire
Amish sucking on my toes
Donations coming in over the internet wire
Off to P-town we will go

Uh.

I think everyone's missing the real issue here.

Mexican champagne?!

toe sucking -maybe
donations-definitely
going to P-town-hell no. im not into any of that weird German golden showers stuff

Men. Sometimes we're just plain embarassing, aren't we?

Uh, sometimes?

Later,
bbeck

Mexican Champagne????

Ahhh... you mean Tequila....

You're all crazy. My strippers, hookers, and drug dealers all genuinely like me for who I am.