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« Free Speech In the Academy? Yeah, Tell Me Another One | Main | You Guys Knew I Meant VRABEL, Not Bruschi, Right? »
February 05, 2005

The Superbowl Thread

If you're so inclined, you can kibbitz and predict here.

The Eagles are tough team -- hell of a defense -- and a dangerous team. The fact that I despise them (being a Giants fan) can't cloud my judgment that they are, in fact, hellagood.

But...

The Patriots. For some reason, I just never think the Patriots are really that strong of a team, but damnit if they don't just go out there and win virtually every week. Maybe it's that whole "team" mentality; maybe it is the unquestionable genius of Bill Bellichick.

NRO's The Corner posts stats that teams with recent Superbowl wins tend to beat the competition, time and time again.

So I'm going with the Patriots, not just because they're my second-favorite team, but because, damnit, Bill Bellichick is some sort of lesser deity of football strategy and preparation.

And let's face it, the Pats have already played two Superbowls in the past three weeks, against teams that were better than they (and better than Eagles, probably, too), at least on paper. They didn't just beat the offensively-potent Colts; they made the Colts look, as Shannon Sharpe said (approximately), "foolish."

And the next week out they made the mighty mighty Steelers look foolish as well, making all-time winningest rookie QB Ben Rothlisberger look like a, well, rookie, and shutting down the powerful running tandem of The Bus and the Duce.

I'm predicting a bit of blowout, not because I think that the Patriots are actually that much better than the Iggles, but because most of Superbowl history demonstrates that whoever wins wins big.

Patriots, 44 to 21. And eleven of the Iggles points (FG plus TD w/2 point conversion) come in the garbage-time of the late fourth quarter. There will be no need for Adam Vinateri late-game heroics this time around. His primary duty will be place-kicking and PAT's after touchdowns.

Johnny Coldcuts Update: The foul-mouthed time-travelling baloney sandwich informs me that Teddy Bruchski will score two touchdowns, one on offense and one on defense.


"Teddy gets to dance in the paint twice. You can bet your dirty asses on, ratfuckers!"

And remember: he predicted the Red Sox World Series sweep back in June.

Then again, he's a substance-abusing moron. And a sandwich, too.

Thanks to Enjoy Every Sandwich for the photo, and EES's generous permission to use this pic of Johnny on occasion.

Update: Dave notes a trend of alternating close contests and blowouts in the history of the Superbowl.

If the (approximate) pattern holds, this year should be a blowout.

What's the Wife Gonna Do While You and Your Buddies are Watching the Superbowl and Gang-Farting? SondraK has a suggestion, although it might be too late to order.

Sigh.


posted by Ace at 05:49 PM
Comments



Pats by 10. You just can't argue with that machine.

Posted by: SGT Dan on February 5, 2005 05:55 PM

Pats by 7. They are just too damn good and too well coached.

Posted by: Jeremy on February 5, 2005 06:19 PM

My heart says Eagles because I'm a big fan of Andy Reid (Go Pack). My head says Patriots because an experienced Super Bowl winner has a huge advantage in the intangibles. And, of course, the Patriots are good.

Patriots 28, Eagles 17

Posted by: BrewFan on February 5, 2005 06:24 PM

As an Iggle fan I cannot let this thread be an all Pats all the time. The Pats are the best team in football but their Super Bowl victories have not been blow-outs. There are a couple of things in Philly's favor. The Pats special teams, other than Vinny kicking field goals, are 28th in the league. Dave Akers is arguably the next best kicker in the leagueand there is a very good chance of Westbrook returning punts. Another is the defense has not faced a quarterback this season who can run as well as McNabb.

I see this game as a battle between two very good teams and the difference will be decided by turn overs. Both know how to score after a turn over so I predict an Eagle win 27 to 24 with Akers stealing the glory from Vinny. E-A-G-L-E-S!

Posted by: Paul Phillips on February 5, 2005 06:24 PM

Well, it's almost always about turnovers, isn't it?

There's a stat that says something like whoever wins the turnover battle wins the game 90% of the time.

The Pats don't -- or at least haven't -- turned the ball over much, especially in the past two weeks. And they pillaged Rothlisberger like a Viking last week.

Posted by: ace on February 5, 2005 06:29 PM

How about some predictions about whether TO's foot snaps completely off?

Posted by: Beck on February 5, 2005 06:36 PM

That's true about Rothlisberger just like when the Pats coughed it up four times against the Steelers earlier in the season. T.O. will snap his foot while doing an end zone dance.

Posted by: Paul Phillips on February 5, 2005 07:01 PM

Eagles by 2 in a boring StuporBowl. 26-24.

Shame, I hate the Eagles, who win and preen excessively.

But Patsies are due for a fall.

Posted by: cedarford on February 5, 2005 07:05 PM

Johnny Coldcuts! Woo-hoo! If JC says it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen.

More importantly though, does Johnny have any knowledge of "wardrobe malfunctions" in this years game? Cause the last thing I wanna see is Paul McCartney in his underwear.

Posted by: senator philabuster on February 5, 2005 07:06 PM

Johnny's back! Hooray!

Posted by: fat kid on February 5, 2005 07:48 PM

Pats by 17. Because I like to see Eagles fan cry.

Posted by: SWLiP on February 5, 2005 08:04 PM

Ditka seventy-tree, Hurricane Ditka tirty-tree.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on February 5, 2005 08:37 PM

Hey Senator, I don't think there's any worry there. Word is he's going to avoid any reoccurrence of last year's debacle by performing without any clothes at all.

The 62-year-old icon, who was knighted in London nine years ago, joked about the possibility of exposing flesh during the halftime show.

"I can assure you I won't," McCartney said, "because I'll be naked."

Posted by: The Black Republican on February 5, 2005 11:32 PM

Oh, and Pats by 9.

Posted by: The Black Republican on February 5, 2005 11:34 PM

Fucking Johnny Coldcuts! Picking Bruchski to dance in the endzone twice? Are those sesame seeds or little crack sprinkles?

Who would sell Crystal Meth to a sandwich anyway?

Posted by: Charles on February 6, 2005 12:33 AM

WRT blow-outs vs close games, there's an interesting trend of alternating close and blow-out superbowls. If this pattern holds true, we'll have another blow-out.

Posted by: Dave on February 6, 2005 03:02 AM

Who am I selecting?

Double-heh.

Posted by: sonofnixon on February 6, 2005 08:10 AM

This Super Bowl hype reminds me of the Redskins vs Raiders Superbowl. Everyone said the Redskins would win because they had the better record and had won the year before. They were going to be a dynasty EVERYONE SAID. Result? Raiders won, no dynasty talk of Redskins.

This Super Bowl hype reminds me of the Packers vs Broncos Superbowl. Everyone said the Packers would win because they had won the year before and they were going to be a dynasty EVERYONE SAID. Result? Broncos won, no dynasty talk of Packers.

This Super Bowl hype reminds me of the Rams vs Patriots Superbowl. Everyone said the Rams would win because they had won recently and they were going to be a dynasty EVERYONE SAID. Result? Patriots won and no dynasty talk of the Rams.

Enjoy the game but don't buy into the hype. And definitely don't buy into just because a team won before that they will win this time. And remember at the beginning of the playoffs it sure seemed like everyone was saying the Colts would win it all. Then they picked Pittsburgh. Now everyone seems to be saying New England AFTER New England beat the previous 2 favorites.

Eagles 41 Pats 27

Posted by: stmc8794 on February 6, 2005 09:46 AM

Bellichick is not a genius, that is NFL marketing hype. The truth is that if you took Bellichick and his staff and transferred them to a Texas High school, they would get their butts kicked by a number of coaching staffs.

The level of high school coaching in Texas was demonstrated during last years super bowl when the world junior championship was played in Houston as a sideshow to the Super Bowl.

The Canadian team was coached by the offensive coordinator of the Gray cup champions plus Canadian College football coaches. The team consisted of college and high school players from all over Canada. (The rules allowed players to be 20 years old - as long as they were 19 on a date before the game, and a number of the Canadians were 20).

The "US" team consisted of the high school academic all stars from the Houston area. They were coached by the coaches from Katy High and the head coaches from Madison and Humble High schools - all in the Houston area.

By the middle of the second quarter the Canadian coaches were yelling at each other. They were constantly in the wrong defense, none of their play calling worked, and their bigger, stronger, faster, older players just looked confused. It was the 3rd quarter before team Canada got their second first down.

The final score was 31 - 0 team USA.

You might claim that the Texas kids just play better football than Canadians, and that would be true, but the reason they do is that they are coached better.

If you took the two teams and gave each of them to NFL staffs, the Canadians would have won every time - they were far superior physically. The year before they lost to team "California" in overtime, and were favored to win this game, The Canadian team had the advantage of continuity, the US team was slapped together two weeks before the game.

The real test of coaching is to win with inferior talent. Most Anyone can win with better players. Bellichick is a very good coach, he would be a winner in Texas High schools, but he couldn't compete for a state championship with average talent, which a number of Texas High School coaches do.

And yes, I realize the NFL coaches are better than Canadian pros and College coaches, but the NFL coaches aren't so much better that they would have won 31-0 with inferior players.

Posted by: Veteran330 on February 6, 2005 10:39 AM

I like the Pats because the Eagles haven't really played for some time. They sat out their last two regular season games to avoid injuries. They also beat the Vikings, who suck, and the Falcons, who were vastly overrated (having played in a dismal conference). I wonder whether the Eagles are ready for this game.

I figure Pats by 10, at least.

But if I'm wrong, the really important thing, the thing that matters above all else, is that the total score be below 47.5 points.

Posted by: Jeff Larkin on February 6, 2005 12:14 PM

The Eagles will most definitely be slicing like fucking hammers this evening...
Birds 27
Pats 24

Now please excuse me while I tease the Birds and the over...and move myself into a bomb shelter because the greater Philadelphia area is going to erupt into a scene of drunken debauchery that I don't really care to witness. If the Eagles happen to lose and you are unemployed get to Philadelphia because they are going to need help pulling the bodies out of the Delaware River.

Posted by: Jersey Matt on February 6, 2005 12:25 PM

You'd think that Johnny Coldcuts would start looking a little bit wilted after all this time, wouldn't you?

Posted by: SWLiP on February 6, 2005 01:12 PM

Pats by 10.

Now as for the Redskins, they won three Super Bowls in a decade with three different quarterbacks. That, I think, is a greater testament to the team than having the 49'ers coast to four just on the strength of St. Joseph of Montana. Yeah, the Niners may have been the team of the decade, but no one can tell me the '83-'93 Redskins weren't up there.

Posted by: SGT Dan on February 6, 2005 01:28 PM

SWLiP,

Lemme get this straight...you have no problems accepting that JC is a talking, time travelling, substance abusing, moronic bologna sandwich but you do have problems with his lack of wilting?

One word: Preservatives.

And I got mucho dinero on the Bruschi TD's. JC has a perfect sports record....

Posted by: senator philabuster on February 6, 2005 01:46 PM

Am I the only one to have notice the resemblence of the New England's Patriot logo to John Kerry?

http://www.sportskids.com/sportskids/images/304-0086.jpg

Posted by: John on February 6, 2005 02:08 PM

According to my XBox and Madden 2005,

Eagles 38. Patriots 27

Hmm...

Posted by: Dave on February 6, 2005 04:23 PM

According to my xbox Earth has been invaded by the Covenant! You better scramble like hell Mcnabb.

Posted by: Master Amish on February 6, 2005 04:37 PM

Pats by 17. I don't need no stinkin' sandwich.

Posted by: John from WuzzaDem on February 6, 2005 07:00 PM

I predict Pats by 3.

Posted by: TallDave on February 6, 2005 10:39 PM

If not for that flaky touchdown, I would have had it nailed.

Now to call a buddy of mine before he hangs himself.

Posted by: SGT Dan on February 6, 2005 10:45 PM

Yep, I predict Pats by 3.

Posted by: retard on February 6, 2005 10:49 PM
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