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January 07, 2005
In the Year 2000...Michele finds an article (ostensibly) from 1961 telling you what life will be like in 2000 AD. The family car will be soundless, vibrationless and self-propelled thermostatically. The engine will be smaller than a typewriter. Cars will travel overland on an 18 inch air cushion. Yeah, this is what bugs the stuffings out of me, too. I never cared about domed cities, or about lunar colonies, or even about robots so much. Yeah, as a kid, it's always cool to imagine your parents getting you robot who becomes your best friend and beats the shit out of your enemies, but realistically, some of your your enemies are probably richer than you and will have better robots. So, practically speaking, your best-friend robot would probably be a K-Mart special that the other kids laugh at, with his unfashionably crude bubble-plastic sensor dome and clumsy three-fingered manipulation claws. Meanwhile, Johnny Parkerson has the new state-of-the-art Toshiba Ultrabot which can mix margaritas in his chest-cavity and do all of his history-project diaoramas for him. I was always about the flyin' cars. Always, always, always. I think it's time to give up the dream. We will not have flyin' cars in our lifetimes. We'll just have to content ourselves with almost unlimited access to free, dirtier porn. Now, I don't mind the free, dirtier on-demand porn. But honestly, I would give it all up for a flyin' car. At least for a month. posted by Ace at 01:35 PM
CommentsAce, you can get one, but it's going to set you back some serious scratch. Posted by: Rocketeer67 on January 7, 2005 01:46 PM
Eh... If there has to be all that tilt-rotoring and stuff, it's just a helicopter with a drive-train. Plus, I doubt that thing works. I saw something about it on Discovery or something and I think it's prototype. Non-working. When I speak of flyin' cars, I mean like the spinners in Blade Runner. Posted by: ace on January 7, 2005 01:50 PM
"Damn it!, I was promised hovercrafts" Red Foreman from That 70's Show. Posted by: Master of None on January 7, 2005 01:58 PM
Well crap, Ace, if I'm gonna want something from some Blade Runner future, I'm definitely a robot-that-looks-like-Sean-Young guy. Posted by: Rocketeer67 on January 7, 2005 02:00 PM
I always liked the meal-in-a-pill - who's the jackass that thought that one up, anyway? "Let's see, how can we make people's lives easier? I know, people hate to eat, right?" Posted by: John from WuzzaDem on January 7, 2005 02:23 PM
When I was in 1st grade the teacher had us draw pictures ow what life would be like in 1999. It seemed so far off at the time. I was one of the kids that drew people zipping through the air with those little rocket shoes (which, in retrospect, look like a total deathtrap). Posted by: lauraw on January 7, 2005 02:43 PM
There will never be flying cars. People can't manage to steer the regular cars along the clearly-defined streets without running over all and sundry; imagine what the average life expectancy would be in a world where 16-year-olds could not only drive, but fly. ROBOT cars, on the other hand, will eventually become mandatory. You will no longer have direct control of your vehicle; you will tell the robot control system (running a Microsoft OS, of course) where you want to go, it will consult the future version of Mapquest, and before you know it, you'll be quickly and safely driven somewhere entirely else, because Mapquest, even in the future, is poo-poo. Posted by: The Claw on January 7, 2005 06:23 PM
'Smatter Ace; isn't clapping your lights on and off futuristic enough for you? Posted by: The Sanity Inspector on January 7, 2005 10:46 PM
Patterico had an item on exactly what the Claw is talking about a while back--new chip implants in the cars and such. As is usual for idicoy, it originated in California but is being researched in the DoT right now. Posted by: seedubya on January 7, 2005 11:45 PM
Hovercrafts? While you losers are stuck in traffic a mere 18 inches off the ground, I will be flying past all of you in my JetPak, laughing my ass off. Posted by: No Dhimmi on January 8, 2005 12:13 AM
I was one of the kids that drew people zipping through the air with those little rocket shoes (which, in retrospect, look like a total deathtrap). Seems Wiley Coyote's pioneer efforts with ACME would have worked out those bugs by now..ya think?? and as far as Bladerunner goes--I'd rather have one of those "blonde" mutants--(who the hell wuzzat, anyhow??) as a "house servant"..heh Posted by: Ignore the man Behind the Curtain on January 8, 2005 02:09 AM
Claw Posted by: Ignore the Man Behind the Curtain on January 8, 2005 02:16 AM
The hell with flying cars. Other people's driving scares me enough as it is. I'll just stick with the fast-access porn. Posted by: SGT Dan on January 8, 2005 04:25 PM
Every time I mention flying cars on my blog some guy thinks he's doing me a favor by leaving a link to the skycar. Then they get all huffy when point out that it's been talked about for 10 years, never flew or even had anything more than a full-sized concept model built, and the guys behind the project keep insisting that they're only a few million in development money away from a the greatest revolution in transport technology since the first horse was domesticated. Sounds like a big 'ol scam to me. James Posted by: James R. Rummel on January 8, 2005 07:11 PM
I just got a great deal on used cars that I wanted. It was tough making a choice which of the used cars to buy, but I did it. Posted by: Marcy Frye on April 26, 2005 06:03 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Democrat Congresswoman Sara Jacobs cites Me-Again Kelly, Cavernous Nostrils, Alex Jones and Tuq'r Qarlson as proof that concerns about Trump's mental health are "bipartisan"
As Bonchie from Red State says: Know the op when you see it.
Leftists who have been drawing Frankendistricts for decades are suddenly upset about Republican line-drawing
Socialist usurper Obama cut commercials urging Virginians to vote for the bizarre "lobster" gerrymander -- but now says gerrymanders are so racist you guys Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.
Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat
And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain
ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP
If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents. Erika Kirk was present.
Forgotten 70s Mystery Click
You made me cry when you said good-bye 70s, not 50s Now that is a motherflipping intro
NYT Melts Down Over Texas Rangers Statue Outside... Texas Rangers' Stadium
"The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD]
Important Message from Recent Convert to Christianity and Yet Super-Serious Christian Tuq'r Qarlson: Actually Muslims love Jesus, it's Trump and his neocons who hate him
Tucker Carlson Network Trump's trolling tweet was ill-advised, but Tucker is just lying when he claims the Christianity-hating President of Iran was "offended" by this. He's one step away from announcing his official conversion to Islam. He literally never stops praising Islam. Well, he suddenly became Christian two years ago, there's not much stopping him from converting again. You can track Tuq'r's official conversion to Islam with this Bingo card.
People say that the bearded man in the video of Fartwell molesting a hooker looks like Democrat Arizona Senator Rueben Gallego, said to be Swalwell's "best friend" and known to take vacations with him.
@KFILE 21m So the campaign is collapsing due to the truth of the sexual harassment allegations. That hissing sound you hear is the air going out of the Swalwell campaign. UPDATE: No it wasn't, it was just Swalwell one-cheek-sneaking out a fart on camera Eric Swalwell more like Eric Farewell amirite thanks to weft-cut loop.
This is the dumbest AI bullslop I've seen in a while: the CIA can use "quantum magnetometry" to track an individual man's heartbeat from twelve miles away
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