did the "man of substance" get a shirt?

Since the guys get shirts, can I have a shirt?

Another shirt question. Were Anka's guys shirts just like baseball shirts, or just like football shirts? The tape leaves it unclear.

What a cheery way to start the morning... new insight into the most important man on that stage! Thanks, Man of Substance.

Ahhh...Paul Anka..the gift that keeps on giving. Like Herpes.

That's just. The fucking. Way. It. Is.

Where's the friggin' cowbell for this one? Honestly, I don't think Drudge has ever posted anything that was more worthy of a siren (or cowbell, appearence of Gath Knight, etc.) than this.
I don't know if its possible to have a bigger exclusive semi-interview.

Jersey Matt,

Come now, cowbell is strictly reserved for economic news, just as Ann Richards is reserved for good polling news. We can't just go haphazardly throwing up pictures willy-nilly or we'll have frigging anarchy.

Though, if there exists a gif of R. Lee Ermy screaming at Private Pyle I'd recommend that for consideration of some sort of siren substitute category.

Yes, yes...I got way ahead of myself there. Sorry everyone. I have a couple of images saved that might fit well here (R. Lee Ermy, dancing fat kid gif, jpeg of a storm trooper taking a shit). Just don't have a web location for them.

Coolest. Post. Ever.

No, really, I'm not kidding.

It's like Christmas morning, two weeks late.

Thanks Ace,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Alex,

That's Kim Richards. Ann Richards was the former governor of Texas, and did not look nearly as hot in her pinup shots.

Loose shit going on around here.

Actually I prefer Man of Concious but Ace knows best.

1. Yes otalps, THE CREW GETS SHIRTS! Pictures to follow.

2. Unabrewer , you must demonstrate a certain desire to be humiliated before you are eligible for Shirts.

3. Rocketeer, The Shirts were actually slinky see-through blouses. Since no one was Gay back then, the Band objected to being dressed in that fashion.

4. Back In The Day, everyone in the Band covered their genitals with Cut-Off jeans, which we called "Cutoffs". Mr. Paul Anka was (rightly) concerned that the audience was unable to properly view these garments.

5. I'm not allowed to think, think, think of 8 things, so I'll stop at 5.

Maybe Ace will let me answer more later. He has given me 3 DAYS... no wait, ONE WEEK to get it right.

You better get it right, quickly Man of Substance. You don't want Ace, who is the only important man on this blog, calling in Mr. Vinny Falcone to ride your ass do you? Do you???!!!

I mean, after all, Ace opened his blog to you, with integrity. Didn't your comment post? Didn't you receive full value for your insights? Can't you understand the integrity kick Ace is on around here?

Fuck. Where's Joe?

Ohhh...and Man of Substance...keep reading this blog and you will see that Joe the Unabrewer is always humiliating himself on here with his posts. I think he qualifies. :)

Anyway...thank you for your insights into the routine of working for Mr. Paul Anka. This really is a lot of fun. :)

This is unbelievably great: the ultimate payoff for all the time and energy Ace has invested in Paul Anka, and never-hoped-for grace note for us readers. Thank you, Man of Consciousness, and I ask you: who is the only important man on that stage?

By the way, Ace: you do realize that it's January 4th and you've already made your Post Of The Year, right?

Don't be so quick to dole out the award yet, Jeff B. You never know when Ace might get an out of the blue e-mail from Mr. Paul Anka! Or Kim Richards!

It is true that it would take a luminary like that, though, to top today's exciting updates.

This is so exciting! Eat your heart out, mainstream media, I don't recall Dan Rather interviewing anyone who worked for Paul Anka.

Ace,

Priceless.

If the guys got shirts, well, I'd like to break that story.

I'm ashamed to say that I had not taken the time to listen to Mr. Anka's tirade until today.

Oh my.

You know, if you changed the music-specific references to construction references, you'd have a pretty virtuosic scene from The Sopranos. Wait a minute: "Sopranos" is a music reference. Hey...I wonder if that recording was the inspiration for the show.

Ace, your next task will be locating someone who was actually present during that diatribe so we can find out whether or not Mr. Anka was wielding a baseball bat at the time.

Did he ever see Paul "slice" and, if so, was it like a "fuckin' hammer", or an ordinary hammer or something more akin to a mallet.

If Paul Anka got in a vegas lounge fight with Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Frankie Avalon, and Pat Boone who would Vinny Falcone root for, and who would win?

I have a question for Man of Substance: Did Ace preface his questions to you with “Put me some fuckin’ knowledge in here!”?

And as long as ya got it good, you gotta make it good!

It's about time I finally get some R-E-S-P-E-C-T in this fuckin' berg!.... After all the shit I had to eat with 'ol Blue Eyes and those mafiosi gum-bahs!

And Man of Substance, YOU FORGOT TO TURN IN YOUR FUCKIN' SHIRT!!

Geeez...the asses I have to ride in here.........

And a picture of Vinny Falcone, to boot! Ace, I suggest you swipe that shot of Vinny behind the trap set to alert us to any major, Kathleen-Anderton level smackdowns you feel like administering--sort of like a cowbell, except to signify a forthcoming f'n-hammer-slicing, ass-riding on someone.

Man of Conscious, you've made my day!

Icing on the cake.
Thanks for taking us behind the scenes of the Paul Anka integrity kick.

Good job, Ace.

The Paul Anka "pep talk" is the funniest thing I have ever heard period. Question: Did Mr. Anka get bent out of shape when he heard the recording and chew their ass out again? Did he ever find out who recorded the speech?