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« Wonkette Hates Blogging, Bloggers, and Blog-Readers | Main | As If You Didn't Know: It's Only a "Mandate" When They Win »
January 02, 2005

Best of Ace, #5: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Revolting Puns

I like this bit, maybe for the same reason that the Monty Python guys liked Life of Brian: it actually has a beginning, a middle, and an end (which includes the noble self-sacrifice of a brave word processor).

Or maybe I like this piece just because I hate Maureen Dowd so much.

She's really, really awful. And she has been for such a long time. I found it very satisfying when people actually began to notice this fact -- that she isn't, oh, what's the word, good -- about two years ago.

And not just the conservatives, who'd always found her a vapid, self-absorbed twit. But people who had once thought she was funny and insightful. Not that he's some genius or anything, but I really liked it when Don Imus -- long a Maureen Dowd ass-kisser -- finally decided that she had lost whatever relevance she once had.

Lost? Or never had in the first place? Eh, why quibble over such details. The point is that no one reads her anymore, and she has got to know that by this point.

Everytime I post on Maureen Dowd, the guys have to begin debating whether or not she's attractive. Guys-- watch her on Bill Maher. At best she's writer-cute, which is, as I sadly know, one of the most lenient possible standards for attractiveness.

Serendipity Update: I was trying to figure out how to get the Schwarzenegger "Let's be honest" post into the list, even though I didn't think it really was a top ten or anything. But, as luck would have it, I need to post it here, just to explain why that "Let's be honest" is in the title of the Maureen Dowd piece.

Let's be honest: this wasn't the greatest post, but it did provide a week a half's worth of riffing.


posted by Ace at 12:39 AM
Comments



Ummm... I think I'd do her, but then again, all my buds from my Air Force days ALWAYS accused me (often correctly) of having no taste. Actually, I'd give her the ol' "I'll callya, Sweetie..." line and then... Heh.

Posted by: MSgt Buck on January 2, 2005 12:43 AM

MSgt Buck--

As the Navy says, "Any port in a storm." Add in the Air Force corrolary ". . . as long as there's cable TV and air conditioning," and you have Maureen Dowd in a nutshell.

Easy, vapid, and frigid, all at the same time.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on January 2, 2005 12:46 AM

If the "lets be honest" riff aint in the top ten, then it's gotta be in the top eleven or something. Cuz I loved that shit. Luved it. I think around that time, you were doing an applebees bit too.. That was top fifteen stuff man!.. On a roll you were that week.

"writers cute". I'm 'writers hoddy' which makes me about a 6 in da clubs.

Posted by: Hans on January 2, 2005 01:27 AM

Yeah, the Applebee's post was pretty good. I like the Let's be Honest post, but it just wasn't really a big, well-thought out post or anything. It was just a riff.

I love riffs like that though, and it's fun when everyone starts doing it. I loved reading through all the comments that week, when everything was "Let's be honest." It was such a funny Arnold line.

Posted by: ace on January 2, 2005 02:12 AM

Let's be honest -- that Ah-nuld post was way better than any ink spilled on Dowd could ever be.

Posted by: someone on January 2, 2005 09:22 AM

Ace,

Let's be honest.

No, the Arnold post wasn't any better than the MoDo one, but I have to admit, I have found myself saying "lets be honest" with some frequency now, and always with private pleasure.

Posted by: MeTooThen on January 2, 2005 12:08 PM

'Let's be honest' was a great post, made even funnier by the continual use of the phrase throughout the next several posts. I was actually telling my friends..."Hey, you've got to check out Ace's new 'honesty' policy."

Posted by: jmflynny on January 2, 2005 02:25 PM

As you probably know by now, this is one of my favorites. I can't believe this woman is a regular in the Times; on the other hand, so is Krugman, and that tells us all we need to know about the NYT.

Thanks for re-posting this.

Posted by: Dianna on January 2, 2005 03:48 PM

I'm going out on a limb here to make this guess...

Any guy who would find Maureen Dowd "do-able" also wouldn't object to sex with a blow-up doll.

Now that may be the majority of the male population but it sure doesn't mean those men are choosy.

Later,
bbeck

Posted by: bbeck on January 2, 2005 03:52 PM

I'll second Dave at Garfield Ridge on the Navy thing.


Let's be honest, Navy guys ain't exactly known for their choosiness.


"Oh, she actually breathes!"

Posted by: Digger on January 5, 2005 04:34 AM
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