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November 04, 2004

Schwarzenegger: Democrats are "Losers"

Kinda funny, but also kinda cocky. Pride goes before a fall.

Leave the "loser"/"douchebag" stuff to people like me, Arnold. You're a governor. Governate with some decorum.

Respectability quota filled; on to the fun stuff.

Short but chuckleworthy:

Schwarzenegger Calls Democrats 'Losers'
Once 'Girlie Men,' Dems May Also Be 'Losers' In Governor's Mind

LOS ANGELES -- Two days after the worst election defeat in decades for Democrats, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger referred to them as "losers" in response to a reporter's question about tax increases.


"Why would I listen to losers?" the governor asked. "Let's be honest."

The best part of that is the "Let's be honest." That's the genius. Anyone can insult someone, but to then add in a "Let's be honest," as if you expect your opponent to agree with the insult because it's so obvious... that's what pushes it over the top.

Nancy Pelosi? You're an idiot. I mean-- let's be honest. There's no point maintaining this charade of your non-idiocy. It's the elephant in the room we've finally got to talk about.

Michael Moore? You smell like a wet camel. Let's be honest. We've got to get you to one of those industrial-sized circus showers and hose you down like the big sweaty filthbeast you are.

Oh, and you're not funny. You're snide. Snide can be funny, but it isn't necessarily funny. You're the non-funny, non-talented sort of snide. I mean-- let's be honest. You didn't really think people were actually laughing at your little nickle-and-dime home movies, did you? They're forcing laughs, to show they agree with your warmed-over New Socialist cant. Let's be honest: You're the leftist equivalent of Up With People.

Ventriloquists look down on you. Let's be honest.

Student loan guy? Yeah, bad news. You're not getting a single damn-bastard dime of that money I owe you. Let's be honest. If I was going to pay you, don't you think I would have done so already?

Seriously: think about it. Haven't you noticed this long-running game of phone-tag is entirely a one-sided affair? If I wanted to talk to you, don't you think I'd make the effort to call you up once in a while, just to see how you're doing? Oh, I hear your messages, all right. You know what I do during your messages? I'm not writing down your phone number and extension, as you so frequently urge me. I'm giggling.

Let's be honest: I laugh at your silly talk of "last warnings." You've got as many "last warnings" as the French.

I'm sorry, Student Loan Guy, but this relationship isn't working, and it's time we faced up to that. Let's be honest. This is a we're-going-to-have-to-agree-to-disagree type thing. Two words you're going to have to come to terms with: write off.

By the way, you sound kinda gay on the phone. Let's be honest. You might want to work on that. When you call up I don't know whether I'm dodging creditors or being invited to a select screening of Manhunt.

And, frankly, I'm tired of getting my hopes up every time you call.

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posted by Ace at 07:45 PM

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