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« Main Attraction of Radical Hardcore Islamofascism?: Slapping Around Women | Main | Psychiatrists Slam Rush Limbaugh For Making Light of PEST »
November 17, 2004

Bush Pardons Two Thanksgiving Turkeys

This is when I start to get mad at Bush for being a squishy faux-conservative.

Look, these bastards knew what they were getting into. Do a man's crime, do a man's time. Let 'em dangle.

The bleeding hearts will read this as some sort of a victory. I'm more concerned about these blackhearted fowls' next victims -- and there will be more victims, of course.

Can Bush "pardon" them, I wonder, once they're found raped and butchered in an auto junkyard? I think not.


Do you want it living in your neighborhood, Mr. President?

It's a white turkey, by the way. What kind of message does this send?

I'm sorry, but that's just the way I feel. I'm a lunatic with a keyboard.


posted by Ace at 02:48 PM
Comments



Well. . . . . .

At least it's not a chicken.

Posted by: Frank Black. on November 17, 2004 03:18 PM

I grew up on a turkey farm (my dad still owns and runs it). So his livlihood depends on turkeys being eaten. I find this lack of concern for my father and our family disheartening! Doesn't President Bush care if my parents eat or not? Why is he placing the well-being of the turkey ahead of my family's exsistence?

And trust me, you don't won't the white turkeys in your neighborhood. They are ruthless (well ruthless may not be the word for it, more like...stupid.)

By the way, of course the turkey is white. That is all you ever eat if you buy turkey from the store. Only wild turkeys are brown. You can eat them as well, but you pretty much have to hunt and kill them yourself to eat a brown turkey.

So eat more turkey and help my father eat a healthy meal.

Posted by: BlueDevils on November 17, 2004 03:22 PM

I question the timing.

Posted by: Sinbad on November 17, 2004 03:31 PM

Ace--

I echo Frank Black's point-- Bush choking the chicken would be a bad thing.

BTW, if you care: CNN reports on the WORST TOYS OF 2004, and I've suggested my warning labels for them.

http://garfieldridge.blogspot.com/2004/11/worst-toys-of-2004.html

Cheers,
Dave

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on November 17, 2004 03:33 PM

I know everything is bigger in Texas but really...choking the 'turkey'?

Posted by: BrewFan on November 17, 2004 03:34 PM

BrewFan...too funny! (Insert lame "you owe me a keyboard!" comment here.)

I think the Islamofascists will see this pardon as a sign of weakness.

Posted by: Joan of Argghh! on November 17, 2004 03:59 PM

Actually, I hope Bush can do as much for our Marine in Fallujah who bravely protected his team and a stupidly ungrateful reporter.

Posted by: Joan of Argghh! on November 17, 2004 04:03 PM

The Thanksgiving turkey pardon is too predictable.

Just once, I'd like to see a President refuse to pardon the turkey(s). Pronounce them dinner.

Put a little suspense into the Thanksgiving pardon proceedings.

Posted by: Cedarford on November 17, 2004 04:05 PM

Watch for an article any minute now by Mike Allen in the Washington Post, with the stunning revelation that the turkeys in question are not destined to be eaten after all.

Posted by: Alex on November 17, 2004 04:46 PM

Make that, "were not destined to be eaten in the first place." Makes more sense that way. Or not.

Posted by: Alex on November 17, 2004 04:56 PM

"It's a white turkey, by the way. What kind of message does this send?"

LOL

Did ODub get ahold of ace's keyboard?

Posted by: hobgoblin on November 17, 2004 05:30 PM

I reckon those fuckers are plastic.

Posted by: David Gillies on November 17, 2004 05:31 PM

Bush then turned around and said "Gimme some steak"

Posted by: Chrees on November 17, 2004 07:05 PM

I would prefer a highly covered 5 month trial of the Turkey(s) ending in several jurors being weeded out until the most conviction friendly configuration of jurors can be found. Then it would...


...oh fuck it. I'm already tired of talking about it.

Posted by: Dear Johns on November 17, 2004 07:57 PM

Geez, they've been doing it for 56 years or so. Sure it's stupid, but so is tax money for crack whores.
I'd rather whine about that.

Posted by: GregS on November 18, 2004 11:03 AM

Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune. Dr. Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734), Gnomologia, 1732

Posted by: on December 15, 2004 07:06 PM
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