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« US Adds 600 Iraqi Terrorists to Arafat's Hellbound Posse | Main | Hollywood Politics Watch »
November 11, 2004

Let's Be Honest: You're All Retards, and Retards Love Applebee's

This is just getting silly now. I swear to you this is not a made-up news-parody piece.

The Democrats think the key to persuading Red State voters to like them is to start eating at Applebee's. See, Red Staters eat at Applebee's, whereas liberals eat at... I don't know. Not-Applebee's, I guess. Some sort of so-called "upscale," "classy" restaurant that only enlightened liberals know about.

Maybe the Olive Garden.

Anyway:

One veteran Democratic strategist, Clinton White House political director Doug Sosnik, sums up the answer in one word: Applebee’s.

For Sosnik, the chain of modestly priced restaurants (more than 1,600 in 49 states), symbolizes precisely what is wrong with the party’s Washington-based elite.

Democratic leaders are out of touch with the American people, Sosnik said in a panel discussion Tuesday sponsored by the centrist Democratic Leadership Council (DLC).

“The leadership of our party has a cultural disconnect,” Sosnik said. “Our leaders — particularly Washington, D.C.-based — don’t really have the same life, day to day, as all those people out there in those red states. We don’t eat at the same restaurants. I don’t know how many politicians in town that are leaders of our party who voluntarily go to Applebee’s, unless it’s for work. You look at the swing voters out there, what their sporting events are, the music they listen to, the celebrities, the television programs, it’s just not what the East Coast leadership (watches) — it’s not quite where we are.”

"Talk about Applebee's, we don't even go to the Cracker Barrels and the Denny’s as well," added Donna Brazile, who served as Al Gore's campaign manager in 2000.

Ohhhh... so it's not all about Applebee's. It's also about Cracker Barrel and Denny's. What about Chi-Chi's? Whither TGIFriday's?

I've never eaten at Applebee's, but I'm guessing I'd like it well enough. But I'm pretty sure that my political and philosophical stance has little to do with my feelings about Applebee's "Triple Chocolate Meltdown."

Yeah, it looks kinda good, but really, isn't it just a Bennigan's Death by Chocolate with a different name? I mean, who's zoomin' who?

I'm a single issue voter, and that single issue is the War on Terror. I will vote for whoever promises to most vigorously and, quite frankly, violently prosecute the war on terrorist killers. Given that, is it really very likely that I'll switch votes just because a liberal candidate enjoys some of Applebee's "legendary" Riblets?

Again, they look just absolutely delightful. I like ribs, so why wouldn't I like "riblets"? But honestly, my problem with John Kerry is that he refused to give a coherent answer as to how he would handle Iraq, not that he didn't come with a side of barbeque sauce (and/or Applebee's Honey Barbeque Sauce-- your call, really. This is America after all).

There is a cultural disconnect between liberals and conservatives, but it's not just about our tastes and habits. True enough, liberals love the biscottis at Starbucks, and conservatives go ga-ga over Applebee's "Fajita Con Sizzle"--

-- as well we should. Can you blame us? You can get it with chicken, steak, or chicken and steak, and anyway you like it, it comes with a free side of Sizzle, no extra charge.

The Democrats have problems connecting with the American people. While it of course wouldn't hurt to run advertisements of candidates speaking on the issues, intercut with shots of delicious "Nachos Nuevos" --

-- the American people want to hear more about "pocketbook issues," like, I don't know, the possible selections from Applebee's Value Menu.

And that's just how I see it. I'm an intelligent and informed American citizen. I'm motivated by a complex range of political preferences, and I simply can't be stereotyped as someone who begins sprouting unruly erections whenever I catch a scent of the absolutely delicious "Me Queso, Su Queso" appetizer selection--

-- although, quite frankly, anyone who doesn't like Mi Queso Su Queso sounds like a G-damn communist subversive with his head up his ass. And yeah, I'm getting a little horny just thinking about it now.

Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I have to go out to church and pray to my God, and then I have to go to Applebee's, or, as I call it, "A Little Slice of Heaven on Earth, Smothered in Monterrey Jack Cheese."

Thanks to BrianG, who knows a good premise when he sees one.

Umm... Update: The Applebee's link just ended up offering me a $50 free gift certificate to Applebee's, supposedly.

Whoo-hoo! What a November I'm having!


posted by Ace at 12:42 PM
Comments



Yet another case of the left not getting it. Applebee's my ass. It's the freakin' Olive Garden that they should be talking about.

Sheesh.

Posted by: W on November 11, 2004 12:59 PM

Applebees sucks. It is all about Cracker Barrel. Hashbrown Casserole mmm damn good stuff. Black Eyed Pea is another good restaurant they do a great chicken fried chicken breast and squash casserole.

damn now i am hungry!

Posted by: Jennifer on November 11, 2004 01:00 PM

Dear Mr. Ace,

We have become aware of a massive transaction into your bank account from some fruit/insect place and have flagged your account for flagrant cash whoring. If you could please contact our regional office, we have some...questions...which we require your assistance on.

Agent Barry Jones, Federal Bureau of Investigation

Posted by: Elric on November 11, 2004 01:03 PM

Are these people insane? Are they *trying* to destroy their party? If not, they're a bunch of fricken' morons. Arrogant fricken' morons. I mean, let's be honest here. They wouldn't know sanity if it stripped naked, painted itself purple, and danced on their dining room table singing "I'm sanity". They are the ultimate in form over function. They're trying to make sane noises without actually being sane. As Howard Dean would say, "YEEEEEAAAGH!"

Sheesh. Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop taking amphetamines.

Posted by: Cautiously Pessimistic on November 11, 2004 01:14 PM

I can't wait to see Hilary and Schumer and Rangel eating in front of the cameras in that Applebee's in Times Square. I hope to see you in the shot, too, Ace.

Posted by: Johnny Walker Red on November 11, 2004 01:16 PM

W--

Damnit, I just added that joke!

Posted by: ace on November 11, 2004 01:16 PM

Kinda sounds like they're talking about...TWO AMERICAS! Only the America they were ceaslessly pandering to before the election is now a bunch of uninformed rednecks who hang out at Applebee's.

Posted by: Longshanks on November 11, 2004 01:19 PM

Applebee's sucks, because a different server brings your food to you than takes your order. No accountability.

Posted by: Joe R. the Unabrewer on November 11, 2004 01:23 PM

What, nobody eats at TGIF?


Mmmm...cheesesticks....mmmmm

Posted by: Iblis on November 11, 2004 01:27 PM

Is it just me or is Applebees/Olive Garden/TGIF/Bennigans the same thing, just different wall paper?

Posted by: fat kid on November 11, 2004 01:30 PM

There really ARE "Two Americas."

There's the America where politicians think voters care about restaurant chocie, and the America where they don't.

All this talk about appearance, "going right", and "being more accepting of moral values" are just dodge tactics from having to admit they're wrong.

Posted by: Brock on November 11, 2004 01:33 PM

Good lord. PLEASE keep Charlie Rangel away from the riblets. It'll be like something out of Peter Jackson's "Dead Alive."

I'm a red stater. I've never eaten at an Applebees. I guess I must've missed Karl Rove's marching orders.

Hell, I eat sushi. I guess I should be a raging Deaniac by this measure.

I grew up in the Midwest. I like visiting the hinterlands, I sympathize with the "flyover country" the cultural elites disdain.

That said, I'm a city boy. I *like* living in cities. I enjoy having everything I want, when I want it.

But just because I drink my coffee at Starbucks doesn't mean I'm gonna cut Al Qaeda any slack.

One aside: my brother lived a few blocks from Ground Zero. Every time I spoke to him about how crazy New York lefties were, we expressed abject disbelief at how these people could ignore, oh, THE BIG SMOKING HOLE IN THE GROUND right next door.

If the blue staters can ignore terrorists attacking their own neighborhood, I'm sure it's nothing at all to ignore flyover simplefolk eating at the Old Country Buffet.

Cheers,
Dave

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on November 11, 2004 01:34 PM

Wait a minute. I thought this election was all about gay marriage.

Oh, God. Is Applebee's some sort of secret Middle-American chain of gay bars? That would explain why the waiter at that Applebee's in Indianapolis kept rubbing my shoulders, trying to sit on my lap, and calling me "Sailor."

Posted by: Sean M. on November 11, 2004 01:41 PM

This is easily the most funny thing I've read all day. The serious points being hammered home with menu pictures and hilarious digressions made me giggle like a little schoolgirl.

Besides, everybody knows Chili's steak fajitas is where it's at.

Posted by: Sue Dohnim on November 11, 2004 01:45 PM

Oh, I don't know. I hope they keep going with this. I look forward to seeing Hillary Clinton stare at a plate of buffalo wings with a look of abject horror on her face.

Posted by: Slubgob on November 11, 2004 01:49 PM

Blanche Lincoln is the last person they should be asking for advice. She is the wife of a rich doctor and I doubt she has ever set foot in any of the restaurants mentioned. A few years back, she was in the House and didn't run for re-election because she needed to spend more time with her twin babies. Two years later, I guess her babies were fully grown because she ran for the Senate.

She should have won re-election easily (don't get me started about the people in this state.) She had a gazillion dollar warchest and her Republican opponent barely raised and spent $100,000. Most people did not even know that she had an opponent. She only won 56-44.

She portrays herself as a conservative, but she votes the party line the vast amjority of the time.

Posted by: Steve L. on November 11, 2004 02:03 PM

The liberals need to learn to sing the "Chili's Baby Back Ribs" to discover what truly lies in the hearts of us ignorant redneck Christian retards. Heck fire, even Paris has a Chili's.

Posted by: Jen on November 11, 2004 02:16 PM

I swear to the Almighty that Applebees is the single most worthless restaurant vis a vis reputation and price on the FUCKING PLANET.

sorry, had to vent.

My wife and I got a substantial gift certificate from relatives for crotchlebees ($50), so we figured we'd try it.

Worst. Meal. Ever.

Seriously. I live in a pretty blue state, though, so maybe the stanklebees here isn't as good as say, Poteau, Oklahoma.

Besides, for ignorant Christian retardation, everybody knows you must eat at a Cracker Barrel.

Posted by: hobgoblin on November 11, 2004 02:29 PM

Y'know, they realize there's a "cultural gulf" problem here, but, becuase of who they are, the liberal elite can't help but widen it further in trying to bridge it.

I think the Applebee's guy looks at a 'Rich Country Club Republican' and tells himself the RCCR doesn't eat there because the RCCR says to himself "I'm Rich! Why should I eat that crap." The gulf is basically one of income and food preference.

But the Applebees guy looks at the 'Liberal Elite' and knows the LE guy doesn't eat there because the LE guy believes that doing so makes some sort of statement of one's personal worth. Some black mark on their personhood.

Seriously, John Kerry eating at an Applebee's is something like an anthropologist eating monkey brains or termite paste with the natives, and he belives that by doing so with a smile, he can communicate to his lessers that their ways are every bit as valid and good as the ways of modern man.

At least with Bill Clinton, if he dropped into an Applebee's, you knew he did it cause he was a fat slob who liked the food. He didn't need to rush out to tell the reporters that he loved it to prove something.

This all reminds me of "The Bachelor," when that Firestone heir dinged the hottest blonde (scientific fact - review the video) because she said her favorite resaurant was The Olive Garden. To that wine making effete, it spoke as to some flaw deep in her soul.

Posted by: Ray Midge on November 11, 2004 02:34 PM

Follow the money. Check the quote from Doug Sosnik:

"I don’t know how many politicians in town that are leaders of our party who voluntarily go to Applebee’s, unless it’s for work."

Note he doesn't use the word "eat", he says "go to". This is just a code-phrase for "put the stock in your private portfolio". The phrase "for work" implies institutional investors and mutual funds, who BTW own 84% of Applebee's International Inc.

APPB is up 2.75% for the day. It's trading at over 25, quite the jump from it's low-point of below 23 at the begining of November.

It's all some secret plot by evil capitalists, I tell you!

Posted by: Rich on November 11, 2004 02:44 PM

Ray,

Was that the Ann Coulter look-alike with the tig-o-bitties? My wife had that on last night while I was pulling together my hunting supplies and I actually watched the show a bit, just to see her.

Posted by: hobgoblin on November 11, 2004 02:45 PM

If the DNC is going to start sending the tour buses out to Applebees, there had better be some menu changes.

I suggest:

New! The Applebees Hot Steamin' Open Faced Shit Sandwich

Posted by: Bigal on November 11, 2004 02:47 PM

This whole "eat at Applebee's" thing is fun to mock, but in reality it's a pretty bad sign for the Democrats. It's not a sign that liberals are trying to reach out to the suburban and rural middle-class voters who rejected them, but that liberals have absolutely no freakin' idea what makes such voters tick.

They may figure it out eventually and start offering policy proposals to pull those voters into the Democratic party, but this is a pretty bad start.

Plus, I really don't like Applebee's all that much. I prefer the Chocolate Grill here in Maine. Good food, good beer selection - how could you ask for more?

Posted by: Slubgob on November 11, 2004 02:48 PM

Ok, so where does the Cheescake Factory fit on the spectrum?
I figure its Red State because no self flagellating liberal would dare to indulge in any of the gut-busting entrees, to say nothing of the deserts. "I'll have the New York Ceesecake, cofee, and a side of defibrilation please."

Posted by: Iblis on November 11, 2004 02:54 PM

Cheesecake Factory? Yuck.

They're the ones with the Jones Soda Thanksgiving Suprise of martini menus.

Posted by: Rich on November 11, 2004 03:04 PM

Hobgoblin:

Naw. The Firestone one was from a few seasons ago. But let me tell you, that blonde was ridiculous. The others, very attractive women in any other setting, looked like gorgons next to her.

Posted by: Ray Midge on November 11, 2004 03:09 PM

Ummm... who is this woman? Can I get a name? Can I get a URL?

Posted by: ace on November 11, 2004 03:11 PM

Her name was Amber. Insane hottie. Couldn't find a picture all that quick. Take my word for it though. Ri-cock-u-lous.

Posted by: Ray Midge on November 11, 2004 03:23 PM

Sean M., that was you?

Posted by: UDG on November 11, 2004 03:35 PM

Ace, whatever, these are the best I could find.

http://abc.go.com/primetime/bachelor/images/gallery/ep607/gallery.html?photo=3

http://abc.go.com/primetime/bachelor/images/gallery/ep607/gallery.html?photo=5 (one on the left)

http://abc.go.com/primetime/bachelor/images/gallery/ep606/gallery.html?photo=14 (with the cheesedick)

Posted by: hobgoblin on November 11, 2004 03:35 PM

Hobgoblin:

She's not bad, but Amber was better. Sort of had a Monica Potter thing going on. Monica Potter run through a hotness amplifier. Longer, blonder hair...

Posted by: Ray Midge on November 11, 2004 03:45 PM

Ya know, I should read these things a bit closer.

DOUG SOSNIK?!? I knew Doug. I worked with him (well, kinda near him, but I've actually met him) back when I was a White House intern (no kneepad jokes, please).

Seemed like a nice enough guy. Little did I know he had such a sweet tooth for chain food.

Of course, I always figured he had disdain for middle America. I mean, let's be honest-- he was a Clinton political wonk.

"Mister President, eat at McDonald's, the regular joes love it when you do that!"
"But. . . but. . . I just really like the fries."
"That's what we call a bonus, sir!"

Cheers,
Dave

P.S. True story thrown in just for fun: turning a corner in a hallway at the Old Executive Office Building, I nearly flattened George Stephanopolous. I mean, full-on laid out. I'm 5' 10" and, uh, a lot of pounds (I prefer "husky"), and he's about as big as a Keebler elf. After watching how bad his ABC show is, I wish I had taken him out completely. But that's just me.

Oh, and everyone made fun of how he parked his crappy Honda CRX on West Exec Avenue, with a dent from his DUI in Georgetown, and lots of empty fast food bags in the backseat. But that's not important right now, and I can only gossip once a month per my Clintonista disclosure agreement.

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on November 11, 2004 03:50 PM

Just goes to show that the Democrats can't get past symbolism over substance. It's like the post convention visit to Wendy's by the Kerry-Edwards bus where Theresa asked, "What's chili?" They made a show of buying stuff there but their real meal was prepared by a chef.

If this is the best they can come up with, then Zell Miller was right when he declared that the Democrats are "A National Party No More." They simply don't get it and are too arrogant to try to find out.

Posted by: Larry J on November 11, 2004 03:50 PM

She's okay. I kinda liked the first one, the one on the first Bachelor. The one who one.

I know every guy was supposed to be all for her competitor, whoever that was (Trista?), but not me.

Posted by: ace on November 11, 2004 03:50 PM

Ray,

This one?

http://abc.go.com/primetime/specials/bachelor/bios/Amber.html

never seen her, but a quick GIS shows she looks a little , shall we say, cukoo?

Posted by: hobgoblin on November 11, 2004 04:07 PM

or this one?

http://abc.go.com/primetime/bachelor/bios/amber.html

(you could show a movie on that noggin)

Posted by: hobgoblin on November 11, 2004 04:11 PM

I smell a premise here for a new show, like the Simple Life: Nancy Pelosi has to live with--hmmm---Hobgoblin, you mentioned Poteau, Oklahoma, which is a nice town. So a family of commercial hog farmers near Poteau. She'll learn to drive the tractor, sing "I Saw the Light", and drink Bud at a cockfight. And she will forge a soul-deep bond of respect with these yeomen of the soil, these mysterious middle Americans, these Gorillas in the Mist...

None of whom will vote for her party, of course. but it will be so much fun to watch them try.

Posted by: See Dubya on November 11, 2004 04:42 PM

Yes, yes. Applebee's. Where the soul of The People is housed. Of course.

Posted by: lauraw on November 11, 2004 04:57 PM

I would pay to see Lawrence O'Donnell in Denny's at 3:00 AM on a weekend.

Posted by: Dittybopper on November 11, 2004 05:03 PM

What? Are you people crazy? Or is "Red Robin" a local chain here in Colorado?

I mean, anyone who will give me a 1/2 pound burger (with the little wax-paper sleeve to avoid dripping on my shirt), a "monster" (double cheeseburger of that patty size), or a "royal" (cheeseburger, add a fried egg) is perfect in my book.

On the other hand, ordering a "monster royal" (2 1/2 pound patties, cheese, and an egg) is superb. If only my heart didn't feel like stopping every time I have that...

Add a Crown & Coke and "endless basket of fries" and I'm happy. :)

Posted by: gekkobear on November 11, 2004 05:27 PM

Ray Midge Makes a good point. What about Clinton? He's famous for being hooked on McDonald's, so what does that make him? At least Applebee's is a restaurant.

I have one word for all of you: Friendly's.

Posted by: Longshanks on November 11, 2004 05:40 PM

mmmmm... friendly's. Fribbles. Burgers.

mmmmm....

Posted by: ace on November 11, 2004 06:27 PM

Hobgoblin:

The first Amber (http://abc.go.com/primetime/specials/bachelor/bios/Amber.html).
Quite the saucy minx.

Posted by: Ray Midge on November 11, 2004 07:12 PM

Last week the kids came home and we went to cracker barrel. this weekend i am meeting them at applebees. what does this say about me?
should i see a shrink? I was born in Los Angeles, went to Hollywood High,UCLA and now live in Alabama.
Yes, we wear shoes here. yes, the roads are paved.
here's what they dont get. i live in north alabama, home of the u.s space and rocket center, the scud missle, warner von braun, nasa, and listed in the top 10 places to live in america.
A GREAT PLACE TO RAISE KIDS. Good jobs, good schools, good people. this state went 62% for bush. In other words...NORMAL...
That's what they dont get. most of us are just
normal people.

t

Posted by: tlowery on November 11, 2004 08:33 PM

The above-mentioned 'Rich Country Club Republican' probably thinks Applebee's is just fine as a place to take his underlings after a project is finished. More likely, he knows a local chain, where top management can get to any location and back home in a day. The Chancery, in southeast Wisconsin is one such. Same schtick as Applebee's, but with quality and attention to detail. Cheddar's in Rockford IL, is a single location doing the same thing. I saw people in mighty fine suits discussing business over lunch there.

My mother, a parlor pinko of the old school, was proud of the fact that never in her life did she set foot in a McDonald's.

Posted by: triticale on November 11, 2004 09:54 PM

Ace, love it!! Too funny. But, I have to get with the program -because I hate Applebee's (and all those joints.) I usually eat "undercover" .... you know, I go to the classy places with interesting food ... but I PRETEND I'm a Democrat. Really, it's the only way they'll serve you.

Posted by: Carin on November 12, 2004 08:52 AM

The Democrats think they lost the election because they don't go to retaurants that aren't listed in Zagats? Are these people crazy?

By the way, Applebees sucks. Terrible food topped with terrible service.

Posted by: Partisan Political Operative on November 12, 2004 10:07 PM

Bunch o' fake red staters if you ask me. Never eaten at Applebee's? Go back to your spidey holes.

(Personally I go for a western omelet at Denny's with a large glass of recently frozen orange juice.)

Olive Garden? I'll bet any genuine red staters can't pronounce any of the words on their menu correctly.

(nice pictures)

Posted by: SteveoBrien on November 12, 2004 11:51 PM

Insane. Everyone who's anyone knows the hardest-core red-staters dine at Waffle House. MMMM. make mine smothered.

Posted by: pril on November 13, 2004 04:45 AM
“We can’t figure out a better way to sell to those people — we’ve got to be more like them.”
Notice the action words "sell to those people"... Not represent the people... SELL to THOSE people.

I'm reminded of the use of Al Sharpton to "sell to those people"...
Posted by: DANEgerus on November 13, 2004 03:14 PM
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In more marketing for Project Hail Mary, scientists say they've found the biosigns indicating life growing on an alien planet. It's not proof, just signatures of chemicals that are produced by biological metabolism, and it could be nothing, but scientists think it's a strong sign that this planet is inhabited by something.
In a paper published in the Astrophysical Journal Letters, a team of scientists announced the detection of dimethyl sulfide (along with a similar detection of dimethyl disulfide) in the atmosphere of an exoplanet called K2-18b. This is actually the second detection of dimethyl sulfide made on this planet, following a tentative detection in 2023.
Tons of chemicals are detected in the atmospheres of celestial objects every day. But dimethyl sulfide is different, because on Earth, it's only produced by living organisms.
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He means they tried to prove the signal was caused by things other than dimethyl sulfide but they could not.
Artemis moon shot a go, scheduled for 6:24 Eastern time tonight
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What? Skeleton of the most famous Musketeer, D'Artagnan, possibly discovered in Dutch church closet.
Dumas picked four names of real musketeers out of a history book, D'Artagnan, Athos, Aramis, and Porthos. So there was an actual D'Artagnan, though he made most of the story up. (Or, you know, all of it.)*
Charles de Batz de Castelmore, known as d'Artagnan, the famous musketeer of Kings Louis XIII and Louis XIV, spent his life in the service of the French crown.
The Gascon nobleman inspired Alexandre Dumas's hero in "The Three Musketeers" in the 19th century, a character now known worldwide thanks to the novel and numerous film adaptations.
D'Artagnan was killed during the siege of Maastricht in 1673, and there is a statue honoring the musketeer in the city. His final resting place has remained a mystery ever since.

A lot of Dumas's stories are based on bits of real history. The plot of the >Three Musketeers, about trying to recover lost diamonds from the queen's necklace, was cribbed from the then-almost-contemporaneous Affair of the Queen's Necklace. And the Man in the Iron Mask is based on real accounts of a prisoner forced to wear a mask (though I think it was a velvet mask).
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Fun fact: You know the beginning of A Fistful of Dollars where the local gunslingers make fun of Clint Eastwood's donkey and Eastwood demands they apologize to the donkey? That's lifted from The Three Musketeers. Rochefort mocks D'Artagnan's old, brokedown farm horse and D'Artagnan is incensed.
A commenter asked which should be read first, The Hobbit of LOTR?
Easy, no question -- read The Hobbit first. It's actually the start of the story and comes first chronologically. It sets up some major characters and major pieces in play in LOTR.
Also, the Hobbit is Beginner-Friendly, which LOTR isn't. The Hobbit really is a delightful book, and a fast read. It's chatty, it's casual, it's exciting, and it's funny. In that dry cheeky British humor way. I love that the narrator is constantly making little asides and commentary, like he's just sitting next to you telling you this story as it occurs to him.
LOTR is a very long story. Fifteen hundred pages or so. The Hobbit is relatively short and very punchy and easy to read. If you don't like The Hobbit, you can skip out on LOTR. If you do like it, you'll be primed to read LOTR.
Oh, I should say: The Hobbit is written as if it's for children, but one of those smart children's stories that are also for adults. Don't worry, there's also real fighting and violence and horror in it, too.
LOTR is written for adults. (It's said that Tolkien wrote both for his children, but LOTR was written 17 years later, when his children were adults.) Some might not like The Hobbit due to its sometimes frivolous tone. Me, I love it. I find it constantly amusing. Both are really good but there is a starkly different tone to both. LOTR is epic, grand, and serious, about a world war, The Hobbit is light and breezy, and about a heist. Though a heist that culminates in a war for the spoils.
The Hobbit Challenge: Read two more chapters. I didn't have much time. Bilbo got the ring.
I noticed a continuity problem. Maybe. Now, as of the time of The Hobbit, it was unknown that this magic ring was in fact a Ring of Power, and it was doubly unknown that it was the Ring of Power, the Master Ring that controlled the others.
But the narrator -- who we will learn in LOTR was none of than Bilbo himself, who wrote the book as "There and Back Again" -- says this about Gollum's ring:
"But who knows how Gollum had come by that present [the Ring], ages ago in the old days when such rings were still at large in the world? Perhaps even the Master who ruled them could not have said."
In another passage, the ring is identified as a "ring of power."
I don't know, I always thought there was a distinction between mere magic rings and the Rings of Power created by Sauron. But this suggests that Bilbo knew this was a ring of power created by Sauron.
Now I don't remember when Bilbo wrote the Hobbit. In the movie, he shows Frodo the book in Rivendell, and I guess he wrote it after he left the Shire. I guess he might have added in the part about the ring being a ring of power created by "the Master" after Gandalf appraised him of his research into the ring.
I never noticed this before. I know Tolkien re-wrote this chapter while he was writing LOTR to make the ring important from the start. And also to make Gollum more sinister and evil, and also to remove the part where Gollum actually offers Bilbo the ring as a "present" -- Bilbo had already found it on his own, but Gollum was wiling to give it away, which obviously is not something the rewritten Gollum would ever do.
But I had no memory of the ring being suggested to be The Ring so early in the tale.
Finish the job, Mr. President!
Melanie Phillips lays out the case for the total destruction of the Iranian government and armed forces. [CBD]
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Sefton and CBD talk about how would a peace treaty with Iran work, Democrats defending murderers and rapists, The GOP vs. Dem bench for 2028, composting bodies? And more!
Oh, I forgot to mention this quote from Pete Hegseth, reported by Roger Kimball: "We are sharing the ocean with the Iranian Navy. We're giving them the bottom half."
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: Red Leather Suit and Sweatband Edition
And I was here to please
I'm even on knees
Makin' love to whoever I please
I gotta do it my way
Or no way at all
Tomorrow is March 25th, "Tolkien Reading Day," because March 25th is the day when the Ring is destroyed in the book. I think I'm going to start the Hobbit tomorrow and read all four books this time.
The only bad part of the trilogy are the Frodo/Sam chapters in The Two Towers. They're repetitive, slow, and mostly about the weather and terrain. But most everything else is good. Weirdly, the Frodo-Sam chapters in Return of the King are exciting and action-packed and among the best in the trilogy. (Though the chapters with everyone else in Return of the King get pretty slow again. Mostly people talking about marching towards war, and then marching towards war.)
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
One day I'm gonna write a poem in a letter
One day I'm gonna get that faculty together
Remember that everybody has to wait in line
Oh, [Song Title], look out world, oh, you know I've got mine
US decimation of Iran's ICBM forces is due to Space Force's instant detection of launches -- and the launchers' hiding places -- and rapid counter-attack via missiles
AI is doing a lot of the work in analyzing images to find the exact hiding place of the launchers. Counter-strikes are now coming in four hours after a launch, whereas previously it might have taken days for humans to go over the imagery and data.
Robert Mueller, Former Special Counsel Who Probed Trump, Dies
“robert mueller just died,” trump wrote in a truth social post on march 21. “good, i’m glad he’s dead. he can no longer hurt innocent people! president donald j. trump.”
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