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« Ex-JAG Officer: Kerry Dishonorably Discharged |
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| Movement Towards Kerry: Terrible Harbinger or Weekend Polling? »
November 01, 2004
Ace of Spades HQ Voter Issue GuideFANTASY FILMS BUSH: The Lord of the Rings, especially The Two Towers; Excalibur
BUSH: blue-collar workers; the American Heartland
BUSH: Destroyer, aka "Paranoia," by The Kinks
BUSH: George Thoroughgood and at least two (2) of the Delaware Destroyers
BUSH: My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo/I wanna sink her with my pink torpedo
BUSH: Dennis Miller, Larry Miller, Drew Carey, Colin Quinn
BUSH: (from Mickey Spillaine's I, the Jury) LOVE INTEREST, AFTER HAVING BEEN SHOT AND MORTALLY WOUNDED BY MIKE HAMMER: How... c-c-could you? KERRY: (from The Big Chill) GLENN CLOSE: I really want you to bang my kinda-ugly best friend and knock her up. Because, you know, we all love each other so darn much!' ARCHAIC MILDLY-BLASPHEMOUS MIDDLE-AGES OATH BUSH: Zounds! (derived from "God's Wounds") (Look, I'm sorry about that one, for any who might be offended. But really, that's how they used to curse. Take it from someone who played D&D in middle school.)
BUSH: Luke and/or Boba Fett
BUSH: Somebody, Bryan Adams; or I Know What Boys Want, the Waitresses
BUSH: "I say we nuke them from orbit"
BUSH: "Mad" Max Rocatansky ("Two men enter, one man leaves")
BUSH: Ferris Buehler; Andrew McCarthy from St. Elmo's Fire
BUSH: Ricki Tikki Tavi; A Charlie Brown Christmas
BUSH: Steve Guttenberg from Police Academy (you just know Bush is a fan) I Just Know There's More to This Premise Update! But I'm dry. If you've got a good one, drop it in the comments, and I'll compile the best of reader-submitted comparisons later tonight. posted by Ace at 12:58 PM
CommentsI have a Kerry Song Suggestion: Anthem or whatnot Guyana Punch by the Judys For John Edwards a bit of Josey Cotton: Johnny are you Queer? being an 80s guru you should know these song, no?
Posted by: Jennifer on November 1, 2004 01:15 PM
Judy's Guyana Punch you can hear it there if you don't recall it :) Posted by: Jennifer on November 1, 2004 01:21 PM
I've heard of Johnny Are You Queer, but I don't know it. It think it was in Valley Girl. I never heard of the other one, or that band. Posted by: ace on November 1, 2004 01:21 PM
yeah they used alot of josey cotton stuff in Valley girl. 3 or so songs. Great soundtrack on that flick. Plimsoles and Modern English. Josey predates the movie a bit though. The Judys were/are a punk band from Texas but were very successful in that whole genre of music. Milk is another of their big songs. Posted by: Jennifer on November 1, 2004 01:27 PM
I didn't think the Judy's made it out of Texas much. Posted by: David [.net] on November 1, 2004 01:35 PM
Thanks for the laugh. "Never Ending Story." Heh. Posted by: Scout on November 1, 2004 02:11 PM
Personally, never saw it. Saw the commercials, though, and thought: "Wow. There is a movie that I am not going to see, EVER, even on basic cable." Posted by: ace on November 1, 2004 02:19 PM
***KERRY: Dr. Smith from Lost in Space ("Dear boy! Oh, stop your cantankerous clanking, you moronic mechanical monstrosity!")*** Nah. Ol' Zachary was too dead-on butch for Kerry. Gave the li'l trooper a real... "funny feeling" downstairs, like, whenever he'd sit there on the living room carpet in his footie 'jamas, scarfing up a big ol' double bowl of Cocoa Krispies and goggling at LOST IN SPACE re-runs on Saturday mornings. Posted by: Kent on November 1, 2004 02:20 PM
KERRY: "Let's study them! Who among us can say that these vicious man-eating creatures aren't worthy of our respect, friendship, and -- dare I say -- even... love?" Come on, that couldn't be from a real movie...could it? Posted by: Alex on November 1, 2004 02:21 PM
Admit it Ace. You still play Dungeons and Dragons. Posted by: Matt on November 1, 2004 02:31 PM
Matt, Never. Posted by: ace on November 1, 2004 02:32 PM
***Never*** Then how come your left eye does that weird, uncontrollable... *twitchy*-type thing, every time someone says "Hot Elven Chainmail Chicks In Bondage"...? :) Posted by: Kent on November 1, 2004 02:35 PM
Elton John song Late night TV sci-fi classic Posted by: Gordon on November 1, 2004 02:48 PM
Favorite Arnold Schwarzenegger movie-- Bush: Raw Deal Kerry: Junior Dungeons and Dragons character-- Bush: 20th level paladin Kerry: 3rd level druid/7th level illusionist half elf/half human/half sprite Favorite board games-- Bush: Risk, Monopoly Kerry: Chutes and Ladders, Candyland Favorite action figure-- Bush: GI Joe with groin-kick foot action Kerry: Ken, sports fashion accessories edition Posted by: Nicholas Kronos on November 1, 2004 03:00 PM
A better Bush "Spinal Tap" lyric: "You're too young, and I'm too well hung." Category: Vehicle or sexual activity Posted by: Joe R. the Unabrewer on November 1, 2004 03:03 PM
If each were a car: Bush: '77 primer-gray Silverado Dooley, naked-lady mud flaps Posted by: See-Dubya on November 1, 2004 03:05 PM
Ace, It pains me that you know the characters of Cats (or if you don't I can't tell). Posted by: hobgoblin on November 1, 2004 03:22 PM
Favorite military man Bush: George Patton Kerry: "Hawkeye" Pearce Favorite card game Bush: Five-card draw Kerry: (Rich) Old Maid Favorite father's day gift Bush: New chainsaw Kerry: Something soft and silky, imported, yet somehow masculine Favorite Star Trek character Bush: Captain Kirk Kerry: Either Jean Luc or Number One, he can't make up his mind. Wait--maybe Data. And Councilor Troy, but not for those reasons. Posted by: Nicholas Kronos on November 1, 2004 03:26 PM
Carbonated Beverages: Wine: Illegal Drugs: Homestar Runner Character: Posted by: See-Dubya on November 1, 2004 03:32 PM
Warner Bros. character Bush: Yosemite Sam Posted by: see-Dubya on November 1, 2004 03:56 PM
Favorite Comic Book... Bush: Batman Posted by: RapidTransit on November 1, 2004 04:15 PM
Hot 60s TV chick Bush: Jeannie, Catwoman, Ginger Posted by: Nicholas Kronos on November 1, 2004 04:32 PM
Godfather character he most identifies with Favorite James Bond villain Underrated American novelist Foreign city he'd consider visiting on a lark Posted by: Nicholas Kronos on November 1, 2004 04:50 PM
Favorite Terminator Bush: T-800 Model 101 Posted by: Stumbo on November 1, 2004 05:34 PM
Reason to smile when hearing the word "Nantucket" Bush: reminds him of dirty limerick Posted by: Stumbo on November 1, 2004 05:46 PM
Favorite baseball play Bush: grand slam Posted by: Stumbo on November 1, 2004 06:12 PM
Nicholas, Kerry would be more for Troi's mom. You know, a rich widow. Dale Posted by: Dale on November 1, 2004 07:25 PM
KERRY: "Let's study them! Who among us can say that these vicious man-eating creatures aren't worthy of our respect, friendship, and -- dare I say -- even... love?" Come on, that couldn't be from a real movie...could it? Was it Pierce Brosnan in Mars Attacks? Posted by: Lord Floppington on November 1, 2004 07:38 PM
Oh yeah. Comic strip character most closely identified with: Kerry: Billy in Family Circus running on of his ridiculously torturous trails to get from point A to a very nearby point B. Bush: Steve Dallas in Bloom County. Posted by: Lord Floppington on November 1, 2004 07:43 PM
Nicholas Kronos: LMAO @ Mrs. Howell. Too true! Pizza toppings: Bush: Meat lovers with extra cheese. Horror movie quote: Footwear: Bush: Cowboy boots. Steel toed. Posted by: krakatoa on November 1, 2004 09:16 PM
Patton/Hawkeye is clearly the best entry, so far. Posted by: Stumbo on November 1, 2004 10:05 PM
Ace, What the fuck was that?? I mean to say, what the fuckin' fuck WAS THAT!?!? What are you Fucked??? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT??!!! Posted by: Swiftsure aka Vinny Falcone on November 1, 2004 10:31 PM
Quotes from "Mad Max"... Bush: Step right up, chum, and watch the kid lay down a rubber road right to freedom! Quotes from "The Road Warrior"... Bush: I'm the best chance you've got. And, from Thunderdome: Bush: I'm the guy who carries Mr. Dead in his pocket. Posted by: bbeck on November 1, 2004 10:58 PM
**It pains me that you know the characters of Cats (or if you don't I can't tell).** Sadly enough I do know them, and I noticed that Ace was wrong. It's "Rum Tum Tugger" not Tumbler. If it makes you feel better, he seemed to be modled after Billy Idol... Posted by: To Embarassed To Tell on November 1, 2004 11:04 PM
Bush's salute to an ally: Down's a shot of 180 proof Polish vodka and sings out: "Long live our brave allies". Kerry's salute to an ally: Down's a shot of watery herbal tea and says: "Down with American imperialism." Posted by: BattleofthePyramids on November 2, 2004 12:22 AM
Sadly enough I do know them, and I noticed that Ace was wrong. It's "Rum Tum Tugger" not Tumbler Thanks for the correction. Of course, I deliberately got it wrong, because while I thought a Cats joke was called for, I did not want to make it at the expense of revealing any familiarity whatsoever with this lavish Broadway production. Posted by: ace on November 2, 2004 02:54 AM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Some people liked Candace Owens because she was a black woman who told hard truths about BLM and black criminality. But this was always a grift. She started out as a race hustler for a grift, then hustled race the other way to grift conservatives, and now she's back to being a race-hustler for the left again. Specifically, she is now claiming that people pointing out that she is legitimately low-IQ and can't pronounce half the words her AI-generated teleprompter script points out to her is racist and just Ben Shapiro's way of saying the n-word without quite saying it. You see, you can only say that black people are smart, and if you see a dumb one that doesn't know how to pronounce simple words while she poses as an investigatory journalist, you have to pretend she's actually smart or you're a racist. Weird, that doesn't sound very conservative, let alone "#Based," to me. To prove how much she hates racism, she then says that Ben Shapiro's Jew ancestors were masters of the slave trade.
The Oscars: A celebration of thanking. Dave Barry nails it! [CBD]
Ami Kozak: Every single Tucker Carlson episode consists of him claiming he didn't say the things he said in the last episode
Also: this is the manipulation Tucker does that i hate the most. It's so cowardly. All he does is smear people (and Jews, generally), and then claim "I have nothing against [the person or group I just smeared.]" He'll even claim "I love [x], actually." Just again and again and again. It's all a lie, of course. A year ago he smeared Jews but added how beautiful he thought Israel was, and then two weeks ago, he said Israel is ugly as dog-shit and nothing beautiful has been built there "since 1948." Just got this email from Dracula: "I love Van Helsing, actually, he's one of my personal heroes, if I'm being honest. I will claw the heart out of his belly and bathe in his blood before the children of Babylon, but I have nothing but respect for Van Helsing, actually. Love is the answer. Except for the followers of the Christ whom I am commanded to turn into my dark army of Satan. And I totally don't worship Satan, I just think we should listen to both sides. Hugs and kisses, may Van Helsing burn in the blood-red fires of hell throughout eternity, even though I consider him a close and dear friend, Vlad called Dracul."
New CPAC Treasured Guest Speaker drops
He was hard to book, given all of his current commitments, but CPAC landed the man of the hour!
Ana Navarro, on Abby Phillip's show: the terrorists attempted an attack on the Muslim Zohran Mamdani
The usually-reliable Batya-Ungar Sargon is claiming this was an innocent mistake by Abby Phillip but Phillip did not correct Navarro when she lied about the target of the attack. Recent Comments
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