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« Ex-JAG Officer: Kerry Dishonorably Discharged |
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| Movement Towards Kerry: Terrible Harbinger or Weekend Polling? »
November 01, 2004
Ace of Spades HQ Voter Issue GuideFANTASY FILMS BUSH: The Lord of the Rings, especially The Two Towers; Excalibur
BUSH: blue-collar workers; the American Heartland
BUSH: Destroyer, aka "Paranoia," by The Kinks
BUSH: George Thoroughgood and at least two (2) of the Delaware Destroyers
BUSH: My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo/I wanna sink her with my pink torpedo
BUSH: Dennis Miller, Larry Miller, Drew Carey, Colin Quinn
BUSH: (from Mickey Spillaine's I, the Jury) LOVE INTEREST, AFTER HAVING BEEN SHOT AND MORTALLY WOUNDED BY MIKE HAMMER: How... c-c-could you? KERRY: (from The Big Chill) GLENN CLOSE: I really want you to bang my kinda-ugly best friend and knock her up. Because, you know, we all love each other so darn much!' ARCHAIC MILDLY-BLASPHEMOUS MIDDLE-AGES OATH BUSH: Zounds! (derived from "God's Wounds") (Look, I'm sorry about that one, for any who might be offended. But really, that's how they used to curse. Take it from someone who played D&D in middle school.)
BUSH: Luke and/or Boba Fett
BUSH: Somebody, Bryan Adams; or I Know What Boys Want, the Waitresses
BUSH: "I say we nuke them from orbit"
BUSH: "Mad" Max Rocatansky ("Two men enter, one man leaves")
BUSH: Ferris Buehler; Andrew McCarthy from St. Elmo's Fire
BUSH: Ricki Tikki Tavi; A Charlie Brown Christmas
BUSH: Steve Guttenberg from Police Academy (you just know Bush is a fan) I Just Know There's More to This Premise Update! But I'm dry. If you've got a good one, drop it in the comments, and I'll compile the best of reader-submitted comparisons later tonight. posted by Ace at 12:58 PM
CommentsI have a Kerry Song Suggestion: Anthem or whatnot Guyana Punch by the Judys For John Edwards a bit of Josey Cotton: Johnny are you Queer? being an 80s guru you should know these song, no?
Posted by: Jennifer on November 1, 2004 01:15 PM
Judy's Guyana Punch you can hear it there if you don't recall it :) Posted by: Jennifer on November 1, 2004 01:21 PM
I've heard of Johnny Are You Queer, but I don't know it. It think it was in Valley Girl. I never heard of the other one, or that band. Posted by: ace on November 1, 2004 01:21 PM
yeah they used alot of josey cotton stuff in Valley girl. 3 or so songs. Great soundtrack on that flick. Plimsoles and Modern English. Josey predates the movie a bit though. The Judys were/are a punk band from Texas but were very successful in that whole genre of music. Milk is another of their big songs. Posted by: Jennifer on November 1, 2004 01:27 PM
I didn't think the Judy's made it out of Texas much. Posted by: David [.net] on November 1, 2004 01:35 PM
Thanks for the laugh. "Never Ending Story." Heh. Posted by: Scout on November 1, 2004 02:11 PM
Personally, never saw it. Saw the commercials, though, and thought: "Wow. There is a movie that I am not going to see, EVER, even on basic cable." Posted by: ace on November 1, 2004 02:19 PM
***KERRY: Dr. Smith from Lost in Space ("Dear boy! Oh, stop your cantankerous clanking, you moronic mechanical monstrosity!")*** Nah. Ol' Zachary was too dead-on butch for Kerry. Gave the li'l trooper a real... "funny feeling" downstairs, like, whenever he'd sit there on the living room carpet in his footie 'jamas, scarfing up a big ol' double bowl of Cocoa Krispies and goggling at LOST IN SPACE re-runs on Saturday mornings. Posted by: Kent on November 1, 2004 02:20 PM
KERRY: "Let's study them! Who among us can say that these vicious man-eating creatures aren't worthy of our respect, friendship, and -- dare I say -- even... love?" Come on, that couldn't be from a real movie...could it? Posted by: Alex on November 1, 2004 02:21 PM
Admit it Ace. You still play Dungeons and Dragons. Posted by: Matt on November 1, 2004 02:31 PM
Matt, Never. Posted by: ace on November 1, 2004 02:32 PM
***Never*** Then how come your left eye does that weird, uncontrollable... *twitchy*-type thing, every time someone says "Hot Elven Chainmail Chicks In Bondage"...? :) Posted by: Kent on November 1, 2004 02:35 PM
Elton John song Late night TV sci-fi classic Posted by: Gordon on November 1, 2004 02:48 PM
Favorite Arnold Schwarzenegger movie-- Bush: Raw Deal Kerry: Junior Dungeons and Dragons character-- Bush: 20th level paladin Kerry: 3rd level druid/7th level illusionist half elf/half human/half sprite Favorite board games-- Bush: Risk, Monopoly Kerry: Chutes and Ladders, Candyland Favorite action figure-- Bush: GI Joe with groin-kick foot action Kerry: Ken, sports fashion accessories edition Posted by: Nicholas Kronos on November 1, 2004 03:00 PM
A better Bush "Spinal Tap" lyric: "You're too young, and I'm too well hung." Category: Vehicle or sexual activity Posted by: Joe R. the Unabrewer on November 1, 2004 03:03 PM
If each were a car: Bush: '77 primer-gray Silverado Dooley, naked-lady mud flaps Posted by: See-Dubya on November 1, 2004 03:05 PM
Ace, It pains me that you know the characters of Cats (or if you don't I can't tell). Posted by: hobgoblin on November 1, 2004 03:22 PM
Favorite military man Bush: George Patton Kerry: "Hawkeye" Pearce Favorite card game Bush: Five-card draw Kerry: (Rich) Old Maid Favorite father's day gift Bush: New chainsaw Kerry: Something soft and silky, imported, yet somehow masculine Favorite Star Trek character Bush: Captain Kirk Kerry: Either Jean Luc or Number One, he can't make up his mind. Wait--maybe Data. And Councilor Troy, but not for those reasons. Posted by: Nicholas Kronos on November 1, 2004 03:26 PM
Carbonated Beverages: Wine: Illegal Drugs: Homestar Runner Character: Posted by: See-Dubya on November 1, 2004 03:32 PM
Warner Bros. character Bush: Yosemite Sam Posted by: see-Dubya on November 1, 2004 03:56 PM
Favorite Comic Book... Bush: Batman Posted by: RapidTransit on November 1, 2004 04:15 PM
Hot 60s TV chick Bush: Jeannie, Catwoman, Ginger Posted by: Nicholas Kronos on November 1, 2004 04:32 PM
Godfather character he most identifies with Favorite James Bond villain Underrated American novelist Foreign city he'd consider visiting on a lark Posted by: Nicholas Kronos on November 1, 2004 04:50 PM
Favorite Terminator Bush: T-800 Model 101 Posted by: Stumbo on November 1, 2004 05:34 PM
Reason to smile when hearing the word "Nantucket" Bush: reminds him of dirty limerick Posted by: Stumbo on November 1, 2004 05:46 PM
Favorite baseball play Bush: grand slam Posted by: Stumbo on November 1, 2004 06:12 PM
Nicholas, Kerry would be more for Troi's mom. You know, a rich widow. Dale Posted by: Dale on November 1, 2004 07:25 PM
KERRY: "Let's study them! Who among us can say that these vicious man-eating creatures aren't worthy of our respect, friendship, and -- dare I say -- even... love?" Come on, that couldn't be from a real movie...could it? Was it Pierce Brosnan in Mars Attacks? Posted by: Lord Floppington on November 1, 2004 07:38 PM
Oh yeah. Comic strip character most closely identified with: Kerry: Billy in Family Circus running on of his ridiculously torturous trails to get from point A to a very nearby point B. Bush: Steve Dallas in Bloom County. Posted by: Lord Floppington on November 1, 2004 07:43 PM
Nicholas Kronos: LMAO @ Mrs. Howell. Too true! Pizza toppings: Bush: Meat lovers with extra cheese. Horror movie quote: Footwear: Bush: Cowboy boots. Steel toed. Posted by: krakatoa on November 1, 2004 09:16 PM
Patton/Hawkeye is clearly the best entry, so far. Posted by: Stumbo on November 1, 2004 10:05 PM
Ace, What the fuck was that?? I mean to say, what the fuckin' fuck WAS THAT!?!? What are you Fucked??? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT??!!! Posted by: Swiftsure aka Vinny Falcone on November 1, 2004 10:31 PM
Quotes from "Mad Max"... Bush: Step right up, chum, and watch the kid lay down a rubber road right to freedom! Quotes from "The Road Warrior"... Bush: I'm the best chance you've got. And, from Thunderdome: Bush: I'm the guy who carries Mr. Dead in his pocket. Posted by: bbeck on November 1, 2004 10:58 PM
**It pains me that you know the characters of Cats (or if you don't I can't tell).** Sadly enough I do know them, and I noticed that Ace was wrong. It's "Rum Tum Tugger" not Tumbler. If it makes you feel better, he seemed to be modled after Billy Idol... Posted by: To Embarassed To Tell on November 1, 2004 11:04 PM
Bush's salute to an ally: Down's a shot of 180 proof Polish vodka and sings out: "Long live our brave allies". Kerry's salute to an ally: Down's a shot of watery herbal tea and says: "Down with American imperialism." Posted by: BattleofthePyramids on November 2, 2004 12:22 AM
Sadly enough I do know them, and I noticed that Ace was wrong. It's "Rum Tum Tugger" not Tumbler Thanks for the correction. Of course, I deliberately got it wrong, because while I thought a Cats joke was called for, I did not want to make it at the expense of revealing any familiarity whatsoever with this lavish Broadway production. Posted by: ace on November 2, 2004 02:54 AM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
'A Monumental Betrayal': Indiana Republicans Fold Like a Cheap Suit, Defy Trump on Redistricting
GOPe business as usual in the Hoosier State. [CBD]
Live voting in the House to end the shutdown.
I don't know if this is a preliminary procedural vote or what.
I can't tell you the rules of three-dimensional chess but I can tell you the rules of hexagonal chess
Yes it's real This is too nerdy, even for this blog.
Our Favorite British Couple Exploring True America Experiences Flora-Bama And Sees A Side Of The Deep South Rarely Seen. [dri]
Oh no! Hamas' de facto press agent at the UN complains that she can't use her credit cards or rent a card now that she's been sanctioned as a terrorist operative
Why does this keep happening to members of the "political organization" (per Tucker Carlson) of Hamas?!?!
Tucker Carlson claims that it's weird that Ted Cruz is interested in the massacre of Christians by Nigerian Muslims, because he has "no track record of being interested in Christians," then blows off the massacre of Christians by Nigerian Muslims, saying it might or might not be a real concern
Tucker Carlson enjoys using the left-wing tactic of "Tactical Ignorance" to avoid taking positions on topics. Is Hamas really a terrorist organization? Tucker can't say. He hasn't looked into it enough, but "it seems like a political organization to me." Are Muslims slaughtering Christians in Nigeria? Again, Tucker just doesn't know. He hasn't examined the evidence yet. He knows every Palestinian Christian who said he was blocked from visiting holy sites in Bethlehem, but he just hasn't had the time to look into the mass slaughter of Christians in Nigeria that has been going on since (checks watch) 2009. He doesn't know, so he can't offer an opinion. Wouldn't be prudent, you know? Don't rush him! He'll sift through the evidence at some point in the future and render an opinion sometime around 2044. Of course, if you need an opinion on Jewish Perfidy, he has all the facts at his fingertips and can give you a fully informed opinion pronto. Say, have you ever heard of the USS Liberty incident...? You'd think that the main issue for Tucker Carlson, who pretends to be so deeply concerned about Palestinian Christians being bullied by Jews in Israel (supposedly), would be the massacre of 185,000 Christians in Nigeria itself. But no, his main problem is that Ted Cruz is talking about it, "who has no track record of being interested in Christians at all." And then he just shrugs as to whether this is even a real issue or not. Whatever we do we must never "divide the right," huh? Tucker is attacking Ted Cruz for bringing the issue up because he's acting as an apologist for Jihadism, and he can't cleanly admit that Jihadists are killing any Christians, anywhere. There is no daylight between him and CAIR at this point. One might conclude that Tucker Carlson himself isn't interested in the plight of Christians -- except as they can be used as a cudgel to attack Jews. Just gonna ask an Interesting Question myself -- why is it that Tucker Carlson's arguments all track with those shit out by Qatarian propaganda agents and the far left? That if Jews crush an ant underfoot it is worldwide news, but when Muslims slaughter Christians it elicits not even a vigorous shrug?
Garth Merenghi is interviewed by the only man who can fathom his ineffable brilliance -- Garth Merenghi
From the comments: I once glimpsed Garth in the penumbra betwixt my wake and sleep. He was in my dream, standing afar, not looking my way, nor did he acknowledge me. But I felt seen. And that's when I knew I was a traveler on the right path. I'm glad he's still with us. Now that's some Merenghian prose. Garth Merenghi on the writer's craft Greetings, Traveler. If you still have not experienced Garth Merenghi -- Author, Dream-weaver, Visionary, plus Actor -- the six episodes of his Darkplace are still available on YouTube and supposedly upscaled to HD. (Viewing it now, it doesn't appeared upscaled for shit.) I think the second episode, "Hell Hath Fury," is the best by a good margin. Try to at least watch through to that one. It's Mereghi's incisive but nuanced take on sexism.
Update on Scott Adams:
Scott Adams had approval for this cancer drug but they hadn't scheduled him to get it. He was taking a turn for the worse. Trump had told him to call if he needed anything, so he did. Talked to Don Jr (who is in Africa) , then RFK Jr, then Dr Oz. Someone talked to Kaiser and he was scheduled. Shouldn't have needed it but he did and he says it saved his life.
Funny retro kid costumes, thanks to SMH
Good to see people honoring Lamont the Big Dummy
Four hours of retro Halloween commercials and specials
The first short is the original 1996 appearance of "Sam," the dangerous undead trick-or-treater from Trick r' Treat. Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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