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« Ex-JAG Officer: Kerry Dishonorably Discharged |
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| Movement Towards Kerry: Terrible Harbinger or Weekend Polling? »
November 01, 2004
Ace of Spades HQ Voter Issue GuideFANTASY FILMS BUSH: The Lord of the Rings, especially The Two Towers; Excalibur
BUSH: blue-collar workers; the American Heartland
BUSH: Destroyer, aka "Paranoia," by The Kinks
BUSH: George Thoroughgood and at least two (2) of the Delaware Destroyers
BUSH: My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo/I wanna sink her with my pink torpedo
BUSH: Dennis Miller, Larry Miller, Drew Carey, Colin Quinn
BUSH: (from Mickey Spillaine's I, the Jury) LOVE INTEREST, AFTER HAVING BEEN SHOT AND MORTALLY WOUNDED BY MIKE HAMMER: How... c-c-could you? KERRY: (from The Big Chill) GLENN CLOSE: I really want you to bang my kinda-ugly best friend and knock her up. Because, you know, we all love each other so darn much!' ARCHAIC MILDLY-BLASPHEMOUS MIDDLE-AGES OATH BUSH: Zounds! (derived from "God's Wounds") (Look, I'm sorry about that one, for any who might be offended. But really, that's how they used to curse. Take it from someone who played D&D in middle school.)
BUSH: Luke and/or Boba Fett
BUSH: Somebody, Bryan Adams; or I Know What Boys Want, the Waitresses
BUSH: "I say we nuke them from orbit"
BUSH: "Mad" Max Rocatansky ("Two men enter, one man leaves")
BUSH: Ferris Buehler; Andrew McCarthy from St. Elmo's Fire
BUSH: Ricki Tikki Tavi; A Charlie Brown Christmas
BUSH: Steve Guttenberg from Police Academy (you just know Bush is a fan) I Just Know There's More to This Premise Update! But I'm dry. If you've got a good one, drop it in the comments, and I'll compile the best of reader-submitted comparisons later tonight. posted by Ace at 12:58 PM
CommentsI have a Kerry Song Suggestion: Anthem or whatnot Guyana Punch by the Judys For John Edwards a bit of Josey Cotton: Johnny are you Queer? being an 80s guru you should know these song, no?
Posted by: Jennifer on November 1, 2004 01:15 PM
Judy's Guyana Punch you can hear it there if you don't recall it :) Posted by: Jennifer on November 1, 2004 01:21 PM
I've heard of Johnny Are You Queer, but I don't know it. It think it was in Valley Girl. I never heard of the other one, or that band. Posted by: ace on November 1, 2004 01:21 PM
yeah they used alot of josey cotton stuff in Valley girl. 3 or so songs. Great soundtrack on that flick. Plimsoles and Modern English. Josey predates the movie a bit though. The Judys were/are a punk band from Texas but were very successful in that whole genre of music. Milk is another of their big songs. Posted by: Jennifer on November 1, 2004 01:27 PM
I didn't think the Judy's made it out of Texas much. Posted by: David [.net] on November 1, 2004 01:35 PM
Thanks for the laugh. "Never Ending Story." Heh. Posted by: Scout on November 1, 2004 02:11 PM
Personally, never saw it. Saw the commercials, though, and thought: "Wow. There is a movie that I am not going to see, EVER, even on basic cable." Posted by: ace on November 1, 2004 02:19 PM
***KERRY: Dr. Smith from Lost in Space ("Dear boy! Oh, stop your cantankerous clanking, you moronic mechanical monstrosity!")*** Nah. Ol' Zachary was too dead-on butch for Kerry. Gave the li'l trooper a real... "funny feeling" downstairs, like, whenever he'd sit there on the living room carpet in his footie 'jamas, scarfing up a big ol' double bowl of Cocoa Krispies and goggling at LOST IN SPACE re-runs on Saturday mornings. Posted by: Kent on November 1, 2004 02:20 PM
KERRY: "Let's study them! Who among us can say that these vicious man-eating creatures aren't worthy of our respect, friendship, and -- dare I say -- even... love?" Come on, that couldn't be from a real movie...could it? Posted by: Alex on November 1, 2004 02:21 PM
Admit it Ace. You still play Dungeons and Dragons. Posted by: Matt on November 1, 2004 02:31 PM
Matt, Never. Posted by: ace on November 1, 2004 02:32 PM
***Never*** Then how come your left eye does that weird, uncontrollable... *twitchy*-type thing, every time someone says "Hot Elven Chainmail Chicks In Bondage"...? :) Posted by: Kent on November 1, 2004 02:35 PM
Elton John song Late night TV sci-fi classic Posted by: Gordon on November 1, 2004 02:48 PM
Favorite Arnold Schwarzenegger movie-- Bush: Raw Deal Kerry: Junior Dungeons and Dragons character-- Bush: 20th level paladin Kerry: 3rd level druid/7th level illusionist half elf/half human/half sprite Favorite board games-- Bush: Risk, Monopoly Kerry: Chutes and Ladders, Candyland Favorite action figure-- Bush: GI Joe with groin-kick foot action Kerry: Ken, sports fashion accessories edition Posted by: Nicholas Kronos on November 1, 2004 03:00 PM
A better Bush "Spinal Tap" lyric: "You're too young, and I'm too well hung." Category: Vehicle or sexual activity Posted by: Joe R. the Unabrewer on November 1, 2004 03:03 PM
If each were a car: Bush: '77 primer-gray Silverado Dooley, naked-lady mud flaps Posted by: See-Dubya on November 1, 2004 03:05 PM
Ace, It pains me that you know the characters of Cats (or if you don't I can't tell). Posted by: hobgoblin on November 1, 2004 03:22 PM
Favorite military man Bush: George Patton Kerry: "Hawkeye" Pearce Favorite card game Bush: Five-card draw Kerry: (Rich) Old Maid Favorite father's day gift Bush: New chainsaw Kerry: Something soft and silky, imported, yet somehow masculine Favorite Star Trek character Bush: Captain Kirk Kerry: Either Jean Luc or Number One, he can't make up his mind. Wait--maybe Data. And Councilor Troy, but not for those reasons. Posted by: Nicholas Kronos on November 1, 2004 03:26 PM
Carbonated Beverages: Wine: Illegal Drugs: Homestar Runner Character: Posted by: See-Dubya on November 1, 2004 03:32 PM
Warner Bros. character Bush: Yosemite Sam Posted by: see-Dubya on November 1, 2004 03:56 PM
Favorite Comic Book... Bush: Batman Posted by: RapidTransit on November 1, 2004 04:15 PM
Hot 60s TV chick Bush: Jeannie, Catwoman, Ginger Posted by: Nicholas Kronos on November 1, 2004 04:32 PM
Godfather character he most identifies with Favorite James Bond villain Underrated American novelist Foreign city he'd consider visiting on a lark Posted by: Nicholas Kronos on November 1, 2004 04:50 PM
Favorite Terminator Bush: T-800 Model 101 Posted by: Stumbo on November 1, 2004 05:34 PM
Reason to smile when hearing the word "Nantucket" Bush: reminds him of dirty limerick Posted by: Stumbo on November 1, 2004 05:46 PM
Favorite baseball play Bush: grand slam Posted by: Stumbo on November 1, 2004 06:12 PM
Nicholas, Kerry would be more for Troi's mom. You know, a rich widow. Dale Posted by: Dale on November 1, 2004 07:25 PM
KERRY: "Let's study them! Who among us can say that these vicious man-eating creatures aren't worthy of our respect, friendship, and -- dare I say -- even... love?" Come on, that couldn't be from a real movie...could it? Was it Pierce Brosnan in Mars Attacks? Posted by: Lord Floppington on November 1, 2004 07:38 PM
Oh yeah. Comic strip character most closely identified with: Kerry: Billy in Family Circus running on of his ridiculously torturous trails to get from point A to a very nearby point B. Bush: Steve Dallas in Bloom County. Posted by: Lord Floppington on November 1, 2004 07:43 PM
Nicholas Kronos: LMAO @ Mrs. Howell. Too true! Pizza toppings: Bush: Meat lovers with extra cheese. Horror movie quote: Footwear: Bush: Cowboy boots. Steel toed. Posted by: krakatoa on November 1, 2004 09:16 PM
Patton/Hawkeye is clearly the best entry, so far. Posted by: Stumbo on November 1, 2004 10:05 PM
Ace, What the fuck was that?? I mean to say, what the fuckin' fuck WAS THAT!?!? What are you Fucked??? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT??!!! Posted by: Swiftsure aka Vinny Falcone on November 1, 2004 10:31 PM
Quotes from "Mad Max"... Bush: Step right up, chum, and watch the kid lay down a rubber road right to freedom! Quotes from "The Road Warrior"... Bush: I'm the best chance you've got. And, from Thunderdome: Bush: I'm the guy who carries Mr. Dead in his pocket. Posted by: bbeck on November 1, 2004 10:58 PM
**It pains me that you know the characters of Cats (or if you don't I can't tell).** Sadly enough I do know them, and I noticed that Ace was wrong. It's "Rum Tum Tugger" not Tumbler. If it makes you feel better, he seemed to be modled after Billy Idol... Posted by: To Embarassed To Tell on November 1, 2004 11:04 PM
Bush's salute to an ally: Down's a shot of 180 proof Polish vodka and sings out: "Long live our brave allies". Kerry's salute to an ally: Down's a shot of watery herbal tea and says: "Down with American imperialism." Posted by: BattleofthePyramids on November 2, 2004 12:22 AM
Sadly enough I do know them, and I noticed that Ace was wrong. It's "Rum Tum Tugger" not Tumbler Thanks for the correction. Of course, I deliberately got it wrong, because while I thought a Cats joke was called for, I did not want to make it at the expense of revealing any familiarity whatsoever with this lavish Broadway production. Posted by: ace on November 2, 2004 02:54 AM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Fearful French cancel NYE concert on Champs-Élysées as migrant violence grows
The time is now! France must fight for its culture! [CBD]
Megyn Kelly finally calls out Candace Owens
Whoops, I meant she bravely attacks Sydney Sweeney for "bending the knee." (Sweeney put out a very empty PR statement saying "I'm against hate." Whoop-de-doo.) Megyn Kelly claims she doesn't want to call people out on the right when asked about Candace Owens but then has no compunctions at all about calling people out on the right. As long as they're not Candace Owens. Strangely, she seems blind and deaf to anything Candace Owens says. That's why this woman calls her "Megyn Keller." She's now asking her pay-pigs in Pakistan how they think she should address the Candace Owens situation, and if they think this is really all about Israel and the Jews.
The World Must Stop Ignoring What Iranians Already Know: The Regime Is on the Brink
Isn't it pretty to think so? [CBD]
I have happily forgotten what Milo Yiannopoulos sounds like, but I still enjoyed this impression from from Ami Kozak.
More revelations about the least-sexy broken relationship in media history
I'd wanted to review Parts 2, 3, and 4 of Ryan Lizza's revenge posts about Olivia Nuzzi, but they're all paywalled. I thought about briefly subscribing to get at them, but then I read this in Part 2: Remember the bamboo from Part 1? Do I ever! It's all I remember! Well, bamboo is actually a type of grass, and underground, it's all connected in a sprawling network, just like the parts of this story I never wanted to tell. I wish I hadn't been put in this position, that I didn't have to write about any of this, that I didn't have to subject myself or my loved ones to embarrassment and further loss of privacy. We're back to the fucking bamboo. Guys, I don't think I can pay for bamboo ruminations. I think he added that because he was embarrassed about all the bamboo imagery from Part 1. He's justifying his twin obsessions: His ex, and bamboo. Which is not a tree but a kind of grass, he'll have you know.
Olivia Nuzzi's crappy Sex and the City fanfic book isn't selling, says CNN (and CNN seems pretty pleased about that)
On Tuesday, the book arrived in stores. At lunchtime, in the Midtown Manhattan nexus of media and publishing, interest in Nuzzi's story seemed more muted. The Barnes and Noble on Fifth Avenue had seven copies tucked into a "New & Notable" rack next to the escalator, below Malala Yousafzai's "Finding My Way." Not many had sold so far, a store employee said. She trashes Ryan Lizza for his "Revenge Porn" here. Emily Jashinsky says that when the Bulwark's gay grifter Tim Miller asked why she didn't report on the (alleged) use of ketamine by RFKJr., she broke down in tears and asked to end the interview.
Canada Euthanized a Record 16.4K People Last Year
Aktion T4, now with Poutine! [CBD]
Trump's DOT Drops the Hammer: Thousands of CDL Trainers Shut Down
This is how it is done. [CBD]
Minneapolis mayor Jacob Frey vows to Somali criminals that he will not cooperate with ICE, then begins speaking in Somali
Gee I wonder why Walz allowed Somali pirates to steal 1 billion in American dollars... could it possibly be that criminal illegal aliens are voting in elections and the Democrats know it and play to that illegal constituency?
Incumbent Senator John Cornyn (RINO - TX) betrayed his party and his country by voting in favor Biden's Afghan resettlement bill in 2021. Cornyn voted to bring in the Afghan who shot two National Guard soldiers on US soil. A vote for Cornyn is an endorsement of importing unvetted, radicalized murderers. [Buck]
Georgia moves to drop the corrupt Fulton county prosecution of Trump for "election rigging" or whatever bullshit the adulteress Fani Willis claimed
This may be the last we hear of Big Fani and Darrius "Sweetdick" Honeycum, Esq.
Escaped "SlenderMan Stabber" picked up with her "transgender" friend
We're increasingly loose with the word "transgender" aren't we?
California City Bans Pickleball Over Noise Complaints
It's about time! [CBD] Recent Comments
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