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October 28, 2004
Red Sox Run-DownCongratulations to the Red Sox. The great thing about the win is that we don't have to hear about that stupid "curse" anymore. Well, we'll hear about it a lot in the next few weeks, and in the beginning of spring training next year, and then-- not so much. From now on, Sox, when you blow a 6 game lead in September, you'll have to admit it's just because you collapsed and weren't very good rather than carrying on with this nonsense about a curse. Political ramifications? Obviously, John Kerry wants to read the win as some sort of a metaphor for the triumph of Northeastern liberalism. That just got a little bit harder: GIBSON: "Well, well said, Curt and Shonda. You both have certainly lifelong membership now in the Red Sox nation. It was a great thing to watch, and I think everybody – whether they were great Red Sox fans or not -- had to admire what this team did. It was extraordinary, and one of the great stories of sport. And sport always produces such great stories. Curt, Shonda, great to have you with us. Congratulations." The Sox victory, combined with the Schilling endorsement of Bush, just caused Son of Nixon's head to explode like Michael Ironside in Scanners. Son of Nixon will be missed. A little. H/T: Tanker. And, for that one of you who is a fan of the foul-mouthed time-travelling baloney sandwich known as Johnny Coldcuts, turns out that he got another one right, back on June 8:
Now, Johnny travels in time, but he's a 1 a substance abuser and 2 a moron, so his visions of the future are often clouded by Rufies and old-fashioned stupidity. But it looks like he got that one right. Thanks to Jeff Kelly for reminding me of that and Stumbo for tracking the prediction down. Johnny Coldcuts has another prediction to make-- let's hope he's not high: George Bush wins 54-43 in the popular vote; takes all battleground states and Michigan and New Jersey. You can bet your dirty-bastard lives on it, jerkweeds. Sounds good to me, Johnny. But Curses Can't Simply Disappear; They Have to Be Passed on to Someone Else, Like the Monkey's Paw Update: Dave from Garfield Ridge offers this tidbit, for those of you who believe in hexes and gris-gris and such: If Bush really does have Big Mo, I'm thinking that, by saying that he'd rather have the presidency than a Red Sox victory, John Kerry might just have sucked the Curse out of the Red Sox and into him, like Father Karras yelling "Take me! Take me!" to the possessed Regan at the end of The Exorcist. Well, actually, that is how curses and such work. There's never a win-win resolution; there's got to be a sacrifice. Blood in, blood out. It would be delicious. Delicious like the blood-filled cursed cherry pie the daughter eats at the end of Thinner. posted by Ace at 01:52 PM
CommentsOH, Johnny, I hope you're right. Winning Michigan would just be SO SWEET! Carin/Heather from Detroit Posted by: Carin on October 28, 2004 02:03 PM
Schilling was born in Alaska. Bill Mueller (3B) was interviewed after the game and said he wanted to Thank God before anyone else. He is from Missouri. I think I know who he is voting for as well! Posted by: Greg Schreiber on October 28, 2004 02:13 PM
I knew there was a reason I loved Johnny Coldcuts-- he's witty, he's tasty, and he has a great eye for baseball teams. BTW Ace, with all the donations dough rolling in, have you ever thought about t-shirts? Man, a Johnny Coldcuts shirt would be great. Even better-- PAUL ANKA SHIRTS! Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on October 28, 2004 02:22 PM
I'm naming my first kid Curt - boy or girl. I'm going to buy a dog and name him Curt. I'm going to start calling my Mr. Coffeemaker - "Curt". Hmmmmmmmmmmm...Son of Curt.....me likes the sound of that. Posted by: sonofnixon on October 28, 2004 02:37 PM
LONG LIVE JOHNNY!!! Maybe this is a rumor, but there's something not getting ANY play whatsoever outside of boston. Apparently some big real estate developer bulldozed the babe's old house days before the run up with the Angels. LOL I've gotta do some more digging but wouldn't that be killer? Posted by: fat kid on October 28, 2004 02:39 PM
Hey fat kid-- Anyone know Kerry's home address(es)? (Just kidding-- I am not, in fact, advocating anyone take a bulldozer to John Kerry's mansions. Or give him indian burns, either). Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on October 28, 2004 02:51 PM
As the one person who reads this site solely for the Johnny Coldcuts appearances, it is nice to finally see my patience and faith rewarded! Who here would like to see Johnny Coldcuts and Hoke Malokey get in a bitch-slapping, pimp-jackin', trash-talking, bash fest? Damn that would be some good programming. Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on October 28, 2004 03:09 PM
I just got a call from Pinchas Kosher Pastrami on Rye with Mustard Sandwich who tips his yarmulke and says I should tell Johnny, "54-43 for Bush?!? From your mouth to G-d's ears!" Posted by: Aaron's Rantblog on October 28, 2004 04:36 PM
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Mary Margaret Olohan
Oof. Reviewers do not like Scary Movie 6. The criticism I keep hearing is that the movie mistakes a reference for an actual joke. The movie (they say) keeps Key Jangling a reference to another movie (or some other pop culture ephemera) and you expect there to be a joke but nope, the Key Jangle was the joke. Other reviewers say that the promise that "no lines will be uncrossed" is a fake-out, and that the movie is bland and inoffensively corporate.
Whoops! I posted about Dan Goldman losing the NY congressional primary. He might do that, but it won't be tonight -- the primary isn't held until June 23.
One race to keep an eye on: the Levi's heir nepo baby and egregious "Designated Liar" Dan Goldman -- one of the Democrats from a safe district Democrats send out to spread their most indefensible lies -- may actually lose his lower Manhattan/Brooklyn set due to, get this, antisemitism in the Democrat primary electorate.
Antisemitism? In the anti-Nazi Democrat Party? Sounds crazy, I know, but apparently the anti-Nazi Party wants to eliminate Jews. Henry Rosoff Oh my Totenkopf Tattoo, that is a DRUBBING! I'm usually very anti-antisemitism but if the Communist Antisemite Jihadists can pull this one off, Go Communist Antisemite Jihadists, Go!
Democrat Senator Rueben Gallego, who served his wife with divorce papers when she was nine months pregnant so that he could marry his side-piece, counsels us that we should not judge Graham Platner for his infidelity because these things are personal matters, Racists:
Sahil Kapur I like that he says that it's okay that Graham Platner sexted 12 different women within months of marrying the woman to sponge off her because he wasn't then "living a political life" -- the clear meaning being, "We all cheat, we just don't cheat when we're running for office, and he didn't know he was running for office when he was sending dicpics to half the women he ran into." Except he was running: His own wife turned the sexts over to his campaign. And obviously Reuben Gallego didn't let his "political life" get in the way of his extramarital dating life: ![]()
Funny -- if you don't mind clicking on TikTok. "Amy.Pranks.22" set up an AI scam-call screener which replies to a foreign scammer trying to get her bank information with Trumpian bluster. This might be fake because I don't see how a program can respond in real time, but it's funny.
Food Thread Pizza Dough Recipe
The ULA rocket just launched
Thanks to Joyenz The rocket's enormous engines are fueled by "the volcanic heterosexual lust between James Talarico and his Neighbor With a Uterus 'girlfriend'" I hope Amazon's rocket works better than the Amazon Prime app does as far as allowing people to watch the black and white version of "Spider-Noir" From the CA Post: Thanks to beckster
Just like "Spartacus" Corey Booker, now that James Talarico is running for a higher office, he unveils his previously-unknown "girlfriend" and hooboy, it just so happens she used to work for him, and, get this, likes to "dance the night away" at gay bars
Gee I wonder where they might have met Oh and she's a vegan When Corey Booker needed a "girlfriend," he conjured up known LGBTQ activist Rosario Dawson. How convenient that when these guys need a girlfriend to show off to the normies that just happen to find an activist with a strong history of and interest in Supporting Gay Men But seriously, this James Talarico romance with a Neighbor with a Uterus is a love story for the ages. The passion of their lovemaking is hotter than a blue star with a core of Primordial Sex Atoms created in the Big Bang
And just like that, #PunchANazi became Punch a Ballot for a Nazi
"Teen" charged with five counts of attempted murder after attempting to run down police officers with his car in yet another "teen takeover" permitted by woke racist incompetent Chicago mayor Brandon Johnson
Johnson's response to the "teen takeovers" of streets and businesses that he refuses to make arrests to stop is to go after social media companies for not deleting messages to coordinate the "teen takeovers." Um, they're supposed to find these messages and delete them in real time? It makes no sense but he has to offer an "alternative" plan to just arresting lawbreakers -- which he absolutely refuses to do, saying we "can't arrest our way out" of rampant crime.
Future Tucker Carlson guest James Talarico:
James Talarico He's referring to three mass attacks committed by white men in, oh, the past six or eight years. There were a huge number of mass shootings and bombings he had to skip over to cherry pick three committed by white men. Which kind of makes me think that "white men" are not the greatest terrorist threat in our country. No, I doubt he'll be a guest on Tucker Carlson. The only thing that Tucker clings to that he claims makes him "conservative" is a palpable hatred of gays. Any time there's a communist enslaving their population and executing dissenters and conservatives, Tucker praises that dictator by saying "at least he represses the homos!" Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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