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October 28, 2004
Red Sox Run-DownCongratulations to the Red Sox. The great thing about the win is that we don't have to hear about that stupid "curse" anymore. Well, we'll hear about it a lot in the next few weeks, and in the beginning of spring training next year, and then-- not so much. From now on, Sox, when you blow a 6 game lead in September, you'll have to admit it's just because you collapsed and weren't very good rather than carrying on with this nonsense about a curse. Political ramifications? Obviously, John Kerry wants to read the win as some sort of a metaphor for the triumph of Northeastern liberalism. That just got a little bit harder: GIBSON: "Well, well said, Curt and Shonda. You both have certainly lifelong membership now in the Red Sox nation. It was a great thing to watch, and I think everybody – whether they were great Red Sox fans or not -- had to admire what this team did. It was extraordinary, and one of the great stories of sport. And sport always produces such great stories. Curt, Shonda, great to have you with us. Congratulations." The Sox victory, combined with the Schilling endorsement of Bush, just caused Son of Nixon's head to explode like Michael Ironside in Scanners. Son of Nixon will be missed. A little. H/T: Tanker. And, for that one of you who is a fan of the foul-mouthed time-travelling baloney sandwich known as Johnny Coldcuts, turns out that he got another one right, back on June 8:
Now, Johnny travels in time, but he's a 1 a substance abuser and 2 a moron, so his visions of the future are often clouded by Rufies and old-fashioned stupidity. But it looks like he got that one right. Thanks to Jeff Kelly for reminding me of that and Stumbo for tracking the prediction down. Johnny Coldcuts has another prediction to make-- let's hope he's not high: George Bush wins 54-43 in the popular vote; takes all battleground states and Michigan and New Jersey. You can bet your dirty-bastard lives on it, jerkweeds. Sounds good to me, Johnny. But Curses Can't Simply Disappear; They Have to Be Passed on to Someone Else, Like the Monkey's Paw Update: Dave from Garfield Ridge offers this tidbit, for those of you who believe in hexes and gris-gris and such: If Bush really does have Big Mo, I'm thinking that, by saying that he'd rather have the presidency than a Red Sox victory, John Kerry might just have sucked the Curse out of the Red Sox and into him, like Father Karras yelling "Take me! Take me!" to the possessed Regan at the end of The Exorcist. Well, actually, that is how curses and such work. There's never a win-win resolution; there's got to be a sacrifice. Blood in, blood out. It would be delicious. Delicious like the blood-filled cursed cherry pie the daughter eats at the end of Thinner. posted by Ace at 01:52 PM
CommentsOH, Johnny, I hope you're right. Winning Michigan would just be SO SWEET! Carin/Heather from Detroit Posted by: Carin on October 28, 2004 02:03 PM
Schilling was born in Alaska. Bill Mueller (3B) was interviewed after the game and said he wanted to Thank God before anyone else. He is from Missouri. I think I know who he is voting for as well! Posted by: Greg Schreiber on October 28, 2004 02:13 PM
I knew there was a reason I loved Johnny Coldcuts-- he's witty, he's tasty, and he has a great eye for baseball teams. BTW Ace, with all the donations dough rolling in, have you ever thought about t-shirts? Man, a Johnny Coldcuts shirt would be great. Even better-- PAUL ANKA SHIRTS! Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on October 28, 2004 02:22 PM
I'm naming my first kid Curt - boy or girl. I'm going to buy a dog and name him Curt. I'm going to start calling my Mr. Coffeemaker - "Curt". Hmmmmmmmmmmm...Son of Curt.....me likes the sound of that. Posted by: sonofnixon on October 28, 2004 02:37 PM
LONG LIVE JOHNNY!!! Maybe this is a rumor, but there's something not getting ANY play whatsoever outside of boston. Apparently some big real estate developer bulldozed the babe's old house days before the run up with the Angels. LOL I've gotta do some more digging but wouldn't that be killer? Posted by: fat kid on October 28, 2004 02:39 PM
Hey fat kid-- Anyone know Kerry's home address(es)? (Just kidding-- I am not, in fact, advocating anyone take a bulldozer to John Kerry's mansions. Or give him indian burns, either). Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on October 28, 2004 02:51 PM
As the one person who reads this site solely for the Johnny Coldcuts appearances, it is nice to finally see my patience and faith rewarded! Who here would like to see Johnny Coldcuts and Hoke Malokey get in a bitch-slapping, pimp-jackin', trash-talking, bash fest? Damn that would be some good programming. Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on October 28, 2004 03:09 PM
I just got a call from Pinchas Kosher Pastrami on Rye with Mustard Sandwich who tips his yarmulke and says I should tell Johnny, "54-43 for Bush?!? From your mouth to G-d's ears!" Posted by: Aaron's Rantblog on October 28, 2004 04:36 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
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"As the discussion continued, Fox News host Charlie Hurt asked Trump directly to confirm there will be no U.S. troops involved in this potential security umbrella for Ukraine. "Well, you have my assurance, and I'm president," Trump replied."
Good! I hope I am wrong! [CBD]
Lost Seventies Mystery Click: The Darkest Song Ever Recorded?
I think Professor of Rock (on YouTube) claimed this song was so upsetting that people used to pull over to the side of the road when it came on the radio. It's about a fatal plane crash, but obviously it suggests a fatal car crash too, which could wig out a driver. It's like one of those nasty 70s anti-war body horror movies. Not for the squeamish. I'm not even going to post the lyrics because they're upsetting too.
Compilation of Naked Gun intros
That theme gets me charged. Compilation of all Police Squad! openings. They're all the same except for the last few seconds where they reveal the Special Guest Star and the title(s).
Pitch Meeting: Amazon's new, terrible War of the Worlds
I don't know why these tech monopolists spend so much money on ripoff/sequel/remake slop. I like popcorn entertainment but is it legally required to be terrible?
Lost 90s Mystery Click: College Radio Edition
Well you look fantastic in your cast-off casket At least the thing still runs This nine to five bullshit don't let you forget Whose suicide you're on. Also: You wax poetic about things pathetic As long as you look so cute Believe these hills are starting to roll Believe these stars are starting to shoot ![]()
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: Garrett's Favorite Band Edition
Everybody wants you Everybody wants your love I'd just like to make you mine, all mine
Baylor Coach Dave Aranda Apologizes for 'Ableism' After Using the Word 'Midget'
Well, he is also disabled...he is a eunuch [CBD] I'm frankly surprised the title is 107 Days. I would have thought it would be:
Soft weak poop from the early 80s Mystery Click
I never liked this song, but it is memorable. In a weak, annoying way. The kid's in shock up and down the block The folks are home playing beat the clock Down at the golden cup They set the young ones up Under the neon light Selling day for night It's alright Nobody rides for free (nobody, nobody) Nobody gets it like they want it to be (nobody, nobody) Nobody hands you any guarantee (nobody, nobody) Nobody
Flashback: UCLA allows terror-supporting thugs to set up and maintain checkpoints to keep Jews out of campus buildings
More video of the anti-Jewish checkpoints A major university allowed this and defended this. Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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