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October 28, 2004
Red Sox Run-DownCongratulations to the Red Sox. The great thing about the win is that we don't have to hear about that stupid "curse" anymore. Well, we'll hear about it a lot in the next few weeks, and in the beginning of spring training next year, and then-- not so much. From now on, Sox, when you blow a 6 game lead in September, you'll have to admit it's just because you collapsed and weren't very good rather than carrying on with this nonsense about a curse. Political ramifications? Obviously, John Kerry wants to read the win as some sort of a metaphor for the triumph of Northeastern liberalism. That just got a little bit harder: GIBSON: "Well, well said, Curt and Shonda. You both have certainly lifelong membership now in the Red Sox nation. It was a great thing to watch, and I think everybody – whether they were great Red Sox fans or not -- had to admire what this team did. It was extraordinary, and one of the great stories of sport. And sport always produces such great stories. Curt, Shonda, great to have you with us. Congratulations." The Sox victory, combined with the Schilling endorsement of Bush, just caused Son of Nixon's head to explode like Michael Ironside in Scanners. Son of Nixon will be missed. A little. H/T: Tanker. And, for that one of you who is a fan of the foul-mouthed time-travelling baloney sandwich known as Johnny Coldcuts, turns out that he got another one right, back on June 8:
Now, Johnny travels in time, but he's a 1 a substance abuser and 2 a moron, so his visions of the future are often clouded by Rufies and old-fashioned stupidity. But it looks like he got that one right. Thanks to Jeff Kelly for reminding me of that and Stumbo for tracking the prediction down. Johnny Coldcuts has another prediction to make-- let's hope he's not high: George Bush wins 54-43 in the popular vote; takes all battleground states and Michigan and New Jersey. You can bet your dirty-bastard lives on it, jerkweeds. Sounds good to me, Johnny. But Curses Can't Simply Disappear; They Have to Be Passed on to Someone Else, Like the Monkey's Paw Update: Dave from Garfield Ridge offers this tidbit, for those of you who believe in hexes and gris-gris and such: If Bush really does have Big Mo, I'm thinking that, by saying that he'd rather have the presidency than a Red Sox victory, John Kerry might just have sucked the Curse out of the Red Sox and into him, like Father Karras yelling "Take me! Take me!" to the possessed Regan at the end of The Exorcist. Well, actually, that is how curses and such work. There's never a win-win resolution; there's got to be a sacrifice. Blood in, blood out. It would be delicious. Delicious like the blood-filled cursed cherry pie the daughter eats at the end of Thinner. posted by Ace at 01:52 PM
CommentsOH, Johnny, I hope you're right. Winning Michigan would just be SO SWEET! Carin/Heather from Detroit Posted by: Carin on October 28, 2004 02:03 PM
Schilling was born in Alaska. Bill Mueller (3B) was interviewed after the game and said he wanted to Thank God before anyone else. He is from Missouri. I think I know who he is voting for as well! Posted by: Greg Schreiber on October 28, 2004 02:13 PM
I knew there was a reason I loved Johnny Coldcuts-- he's witty, he's tasty, and he has a great eye for baseball teams. BTW Ace, with all the donations dough rolling in, have you ever thought about t-shirts? Man, a Johnny Coldcuts shirt would be great. Even better-- PAUL ANKA SHIRTS! Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on October 28, 2004 02:22 PM
I'm naming my first kid Curt - boy or girl. I'm going to buy a dog and name him Curt. I'm going to start calling my Mr. Coffeemaker - "Curt". Hmmmmmmmmmmm...Son of Curt.....me likes the sound of that. Posted by: sonofnixon on October 28, 2004 02:37 PM
LONG LIVE JOHNNY!!! Maybe this is a rumor, but there's something not getting ANY play whatsoever outside of boston. Apparently some big real estate developer bulldozed the babe's old house days before the run up with the Angels. LOL I've gotta do some more digging but wouldn't that be killer? Posted by: fat kid on October 28, 2004 02:39 PM
Hey fat kid-- Anyone know Kerry's home address(es)? (Just kidding-- I am not, in fact, advocating anyone take a bulldozer to John Kerry's mansions. Or give him indian burns, either). Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on October 28, 2004 02:51 PM
As the one person who reads this site solely for the Johnny Coldcuts appearances, it is nice to finally see my patience and faith rewarded! Who here would like to see Johnny Coldcuts and Hoke Malokey get in a bitch-slapping, pimp-jackin', trash-talking, bash fest? Damn that would be some good programming. Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on October 28, 2004 03:09 PM
I just got a call from Pinchas Kosher Pastrami on Rye with Mustard Sandwich who tips his yarmulke and says I should tell Johnny, "54-43 for Bush?!? From your mouth to G-d's ears!" Posted by: Aaron's Rantblog on October 28, 2004 04:36 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Live voting in the House to end the shutdown.
I don't know if this is a preliminary procedural vote or what.
I can't tell you the rules of three-dimensional chess but I can tell you the rules of hexagonal chess
Yes it's real This is too nerdy, even for this blog.
Our Favorite British Couple Exploring True America Experiences Flora-Bama And Sees A Side Of The Deep South Rarely Seen. [dri]
Oh no! Hamas' de facto press agent at the UN complains that she can't use her credit cards or rent a card now that she's been sanctioned as a terrorist operative
Why does this keep happening to members of the "political organization" (per Tucker Carlson) of Hamas?!?!
Tucker Carlson claims that it's weird that Ted Cruz is interested in the massacre of Christians by Nigerian Muslims, because he has "no track record of being interested in Christians," then blows off the massacre of Christians by Nigerian Muslims, saying it might or might not be a real concern
Tucker Carlson enjoys using the left-wing tactic of "Tactical Ignorance" to avoid taking positions on topics. Is Hamas really a terrorist organization? Tucker can't say. He hasn't looked into it enough, but "it seems like a political organization to me." Are Muslims slaughtering Christians in Nigeria? Again, Tucker just doesn't know. He hasn't examined the evidence yet. He knows every Palestinian Christian who said he was blocked from visiting holy sites in Bethlehem, but he just hasn't had the time to look into the mass slaughter of Christians in Nigeria that has been going on since (checks watch) 2009. He doesn't know, so he can't offer an opinion. Wouldn't be prudent, you know? Don't rush him! He'll sift through the evidence at some point in the future and render an opinion sometime around 2044. Of course, if you need an opinion on Jewish Perfidy, he has all the facts at his fingertips and can give you a fully informed opinion pronto. Say, have you ever heard of the USS Liberty incident...? You'd think that the main issue for Tucker Carlson, who pretends to be so deeply concerned about Palestinian Christians being bullied by Jews in Israel (supposedly), would be the massacre of 185,000 Christians in Nigeria itself. But no, his main problem is that Ted Cruz is talking about it, "who has no track record of being interested in Christians at all." And then he just shrugs as to whether this is even a real issue or not. Whatever we do we must never "divide the right," huh? Tucker is attacking Ted Cruz for bringing the issue up because he's acting as an apologist for Jihadism, and he can't cleanly admit that Jihadists are killing any Christians, anywhere. There is no daylight between him and CAIR at this point. One might conclude that Tucker Carlson himself isn't interested in the plight of Christians -- except as they can be used as a cudgel to attack Jews. Just gonna ask an Interesting Question myself -- why is it that Tucker Carlson's arguments all track with those shit out by Qatarian propaganda agents and the far left? That if Jews crush an ant underfoot it is worldwide news, but when Muslims slaughter Christians it elicits not even a vigorous shrug?
Garth Merenghi is interviewed by the only man who can fathom his ineffable brilliance -- Garth Merenghi
From the comments: I once glimpsed Garth in the penumbra betwixt my wake and sleep. He was in my dream, standing afar, not looking my way, nor did he acknowledge me. But I felt seen. And that's when I knew I was a traveler on the right path. I'm glad he's still with us. Now that's some Merenghian prose. Garth Merenghi on the writer's craft Greetings, Traveler. If you still have not experienced Garth Merenghi -- Author, Dream-weaver, Visionary, plus Actor -- the six episodes of his Darkplace are still available on YouTube and supposedly upscaled to HD. (Viewing it now, it doesn't appeared upscaled for shit.) I think the second episode, "Hell Hath Fury," is the best by a good margin. Try to at least watch through to that one. It's Mereghi's incisive but nuanced take on sexism.
Update on Scott Adams:
Scott Adams had approval for this cancer drug but they hadn't scheduled him to get it. He was taking a turn for the worse. Trump had told him to call if he needed anything, so he did. Talked to Don Jr (who is in Africa) , then RFK Jr, then Dr Oz. Someone talked to Kaiser and he was scheduled. Shouldn't have needed it but he did and he says it saved his life.
Funny retro kid costumes, thanks to SMH
Good to see people honoring Lamont the Big Dummy
Four hours of retro Halloween commercials and specials
The first short is the original 1996 appearance of "Sam," the dangerous undead trick-or-treater from Trick r' Treat.
ICYMI: Australian journalist actually presses Kamala Harris when she repeatedly dodges questions about Biden's mental fitness
Kamala admits she didn't have the stamina to run for president, while continuing to insist he had the mental capacity to serve as president. He was too frail to run but perfectly strong enough to govern. Yeah sure whatever lying whore.
On Wednesday, we'll see the "Beaver Super-Moon." Which sounds hot.
Full Episode: The Hardy Boys (and Nancy Drew) Meet Dracula
I don't remember this show, except for remembering that Nancy Drew was hot and the opening credits were foreboding and exicting Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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