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October 28, 2004
Red Sox Run-DownCongratulations to the Red Sox. The great thing about the win is that we don't have to hear about that stupid "curse" anymore. Well, we'll hear about it a lot in the next few weeks, and in the beginning of spring training next year, and then-- not so much. From now on, Sox, when you blow a 6 game lead in September, you'll have to admit it's just because you collapsed and weren't very good rather than carrying on with this nonsense about a curse. Political ramifications? Obviously, John Kerry wants to read the win as some sort of a metaphor for the triumph of Northeastern liberalism. That just got a little bit harder: GIBSON: "Well, well said, Curt and Shonda. You both have certainly lifelong membership now in the Red Sox nation. It was a great thing to watch, and I think everybody – whether they were great Red Sox fans or not -- had to admire what this team did. It was extraordinary, and one of the great stories of sport. And sport always produces such great stories. Curt, Shonda, great to have you with us. Congratulations." The Sox victory, combined with the Schilling endorsement of Bush, just caused Son of Nixon's head to explode like Michael Ironside in Scanners. Son of Nixon will be missed. A little. H/T: Tanker. And, for that one of you who is a fan of the foul-mouthed time-travelling baloney sandwich known as Johnny Coldcuts, turns out that he got another one right, back on June 8:
Now, Johnny travels in time, but he's a 1 a substance abuser and 2 a moron, so his visions of the future are often clouded by Rufies and old-fashioned stupidity. But it looks like he got that one right. Thanks to Jeff Kelly for reminding me of that and Stumbo for tracking the prediction down. Johnny Coldcuts has another prediction to make-- let's hope he's not high: George Bush wins 54-43 in the popular vote; takes all battleground states and Michigan and New Jersey. You can bet your dirty-bastard lives on it, jerkweeds. Sounds good to me, Johnny. But Curses Can't Simply Disappear; They Have to Be Passed on to Someone Else, Like the Monkey's Paw Update: Dave from Garfield Ridge offers this tidbit, for those of you who believe in hexes and gris-gris and such: If Bush really does have Big Mo, I'm thinking that, by saying that he'd rather have the presidency than a Red Sox victory, John Kerry might just have sucked the Curse out of the Red Sox and into him, like Father Karras yelling "Take me! Take me!" to the possessed Regan at the end of The Exorcist. Well, actually, that is how curses and such work. There's never a win-win resolution; there's got to be a sacrifice. Blood in, blood out. It would be delicious. Delicious like the blood-filled cursed cherry pie the daughter eats at the end of Thinner. posted by Ace at 01:52 PM
CommentsOH, Johnny, I hope you're right. Winning Michigan would just be SO SWEET! Carin/Heather from Detroit Posted by: Carin on October 28, 2004 02:03 PM
Schilling was born in Alaska. Bill Mueller (3B) was interviewed after the game and said he wanted to Thank God before anyone else. He is from Missouri. I think I know who he is voting for as well! Posted by: Greg Schreiber on October 28, 2004 02:13 PM
I knew there was a reason I loved Johnny Coldcuts-- he's witty, he's tasty, and he has a great eye for baseball teams. BTW Ace, with all the donations dough rolling in, have you ever thought about t-shirts? Man, a Johnny Coldcuts shirt would be great. Even better-- PAUL ANKA SHIRTS! Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on October 28, 2004 02:22 PM
I'm naming my first kid Curt - boy or girl. I'm going to buy a dog and name him Curt. I'm going to start calling my Mr. Coffeemaker - "Curt". Hmmmmmmmmmmm...Son of Curt.....me likes the sound of that. Posted by: sonofnixon on October 28, 2004 02:37 PM
LONG LIVE JOHNNY!!! Maybe this is a rumor, but there's something not getting ANY play whatsoever outside of boston. Apparently some big real estate developer bulldozed the babe's old house days before the run up with the Angels. LOL I've gotta do some more digging but wouldn't that be killer? Posted by: fat kid on October 28, 2004 02:39 PM
Hey fat kid-- Anyone know Kerry's home address(es)? (Just kidding-- I am not, in fact, advocating anyone take a bulldozer to John Kerry's mansions. Or give him indian burns, either). Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on October 28, 2004 02:51 PM
As the one person who reads this site solely for the Johnny Coldcuts appearances, it is nice to finally see my patience and faith rewarded! Who here would like to see Johnny Coldcuts and Hoke Malokey get in a bitch-slapping, pimp-jackin', trash-talking, bash fest? Damn that would be some good programming. Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on October 28, 2004 03:09 PM
I just got a call from Pinchas Kosher Pastrami on Rye with Mustard Sandwich who tips his yarmulke and says I should tell Johnny, "54-43 for Bush?!? From your mouth to G-d's ears!" Posted by: Aaron's Rantblog on October 28, 2004 04:36 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: Northern Lights Division
Our topic today is music That's right, like 'Cause my brother and I are now experts in the field, eh Yeah, right, 'cause we're a band now Uh, yeah, so Except for him, I'm a band Aw, how can you do that? You're making me look bad You're such a Hosehead
CNBC ranks Tennessee as dead last in its “Worst States to Live” analysis. The specific reason is that cross-dressing men in TN are denied access to children and women’s private spaces. Texas finished 49th. The “worst” states were all red states. [Buck]
Senator Lindsey Graham (R - SC) has died after a "brief and sudden illness." [Buck]
The "Evel Knievel Experience," a museum dedicated to the famous daredevil, opens in (where else) Las Vegas
Well I guess they could have opened it on the Snake Canyon.
In response to someone asking why the video tape doesn't show Tyler Robinson's face (PS, it does, but it's crappy video so it's blurry):
Candace OwensFor such an "open and shut case" they have thus far provided ZERO evidence of anything outside of a criminal government conspiracy, the likes of which hasn't been seen since the JFK assassination.
More "fedslop" that Cavernous Nostrils is too smart to be taken in by:
Blake Neff Fenix Ammunition Post here, showing Tyler Robinson's ammunition, matching this guy's own box. And it is an expanding-tip hollow-point round. Boy these Internet Experts (TM) sure do get a lot of things wrong.
Lost 70s Mystery Click
And a song with another song as an intro, too: Be it sight, sound, smell, or touch There's something Inside that we need so much The sight of a touch, or the scent of a sound Or the strength of an oak with roots deep in the ground The wonder of flowers to be covered and then to burst up Thru tarmac, to the sun again Boy do they look like absolute dorks.
Lost 70s Mystery Click
Doing alright A little jiving on a Saturday night And come what may Gonna dance the day away Jenny was sweet She always smiled for the people she'd meet On trouble and strife She had another way of looking at life
RIP Lord Humungus
[CBD]
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
It happened one summer, it happened one time It happened forever, for a short time A place for a moment, an end to dream Forever I loved you, forever it seemed One summer never ends, one summer never began It keeps me standing still, it takes all my will Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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