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October 27, 2004
Another Kerry Football FollyWhat the hell is it with this guy? Rude joke follows. You've been warned. This guy catches a football like a virgin with pinkeye catches a money shot. For crying out loud, you feel almost bad for throwing the ball to him in the first place. You think maybe you should have been more of a gentleman and just tossed it into a Kleenex. Less crying that way. Never trust a man who sleeps with his eyes open or shuts them when catching a ball. It's just not right. H/t to StreetGOP. He's got some cool stories about the missile defense shield and why it will work, and Madonna and why she can't act. And Yet He Keeps His Eyes Open For This Update: Like I said: what the hell is it with this guy? posted by Ace at 03:06 AM
CommentsI think John Sr. is trying to make it absolutley clear that John John is the "catcher" of the couple, er, running mates. Of course, John Sr. throws like Cartman at the Special Olympics, so I'm not too sure who is pitching to the Breck Girl. Posted by: Dear Johns on October 27, 2004 04:40 AM
Gee, all this talk about *Bush* taking his eye off the ball...I'm having trouble deciding whether he catches worse or throws worse. I'm sure in this last week we will have ample evidence for both... Cheers, Posted by: M@ on October 27, 2004 06:14 AM
I guess throwing around a baseball would just make him look like *too* much of a pussy. Maybe they should knock around a polo ball...or croquet...yeah croquet, that's more faggety. Posted by: sentinel on October 27, 2004 09:14 AM
Sentinel, if you really want a questionable sport, it would have to involve either ice skates or a well-oiled Roman. Posted by: bbeck on October 27, 2004 09:32 AM
Give the guy a break! He's working on a Football Catching Plan as we speak. Final version hung-up on what to call the "pointy end" of the ball. Posted by: The Old Coot on October 27, 2004 10:08 AM
Sentinel - He DID 'pitch' a baseball - and, it did make him look like a limp noodle. Ditto his hockey experience. See article via Sporting News Two quotes that describe Kerry perfectly: I say, let's all start calling him 'The Diddler'. 'Cause he catches like a pansy, and you just KNOW that nickname had to really tick him off. Posted by: bkayel on October 27, 2004 10:44 AM
The "Diddler" .........I like that. We will need to get the word out to Rush and Hugh Hewitt and Sean and the other guys on radio so it gets some traction. "Fiddle, diddle, dee, the Diddler man is he".....I know, don't quit my day job. Posted by: Donna on October 27, 2004 06:23 PM
Some thoughts on questionable sports: 1) Anything involving a judge is NOT a sport (no, this doesn't include referees) 2) Anything that involves the deliberate pointing of toes (my sons are not permitted to participate in any sports that involves toe-pointing - in fact, I commonly use the term "toe-pointer" to identify some folks, like, well, Sullivan) Posted by: on October 27, 2004 06:31 PM
Sorry, forgot to sign the above post. Blame me for the toe-pointing post. Posted by: Dear Johns on October 27, 2004 06:32 PM
Ace. The Street thanks you. you will forever 'slice like a fucking hammer' in my book. Posted by: StreetGOP on October 27, 2004 07:32 PM
I have to vote for Kerry now. That photo-op convinces me he's a regular Joe. Posted by: rdbrewer on October 27, 2004 07:44 PM
Welcome back to the realm of the living Ace. Posted by: fat kid on October 27, 2004 08:12 PM
I have noticed before that Lurch has a hard time keeping his eyes open when he's playing football. It could be something serious. Posted by: Joey on October 27, 2004 11:31 PM
Totally unrelated, but is Johnny Coldcuts a prophet? He called the Red Sox in 4 2 months ago. Posted by: Jeff Kelley on October 27, 2004 11:45 PM
Did Johnny Coldcuts actually predict that? Fuckin' amazing if he did. I'll have to find that post. Posted by: ace on October 28, 2004 01:54 AM
If it was not Johnny's debute appearance on your site it was close to it. Posted by: JeffK on October 28, 2004 08:42 AM
If Johnny Coldcuts is that amazing with baseball, what could he do with poltics? Posted by: Nick on October 28, 2004 11:59 AM
http://ace.mu.nu/archives/034762.php "Wanna get rich, fuckface? Five fuckin' words: Red Sox World Series Sweep!" Posted by: Stumbo on October 28, 2004 12:07 PM
Johnny has just predicted the outcome of the election. Posted by: ace on October 28, 2004 01:56 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:
![]() That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time. I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
Hamas is Humiliating Trump's 'Board of Peace'
[Hat Tip: TC] [CBD]
Ted Turner Dies At 87 [CBD]
Democrat Congresswoman Sara Jacobs cites Me-Again Kelly, Cavernous Nostrils, Alex Jones and Tuq'r Qarlson as proof that concerns about Trump's mental health are "bipartisan"
As Bonchie from Red State says: Know the op when you see it.
Leftists who have been drawing Frankendistricts for decades are suddenly upset about Republican line-drawing
Socialist usurper Obama cut commercials urging Virginians to vote for the bizarre "lobster" gerrymander -- but now says gerrymanders are so racist you guys Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.
Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat
And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain
ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP
If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents. Erika Kirk was present.
Forgotten 70s Mystery Click
You made me cry when you said good-bye 70s, not 50s Now that is a motherflipping intro
NYT Melts Down Over Texas Rangers Statue Outside... Texas Rangers' Stadium
"The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD] Recent Comments
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