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October 27, 2004
Another Kerry Football FollyWhat the hell is it with this guy? Rude joke follows. You've been warned. This guy catches a football like a virgin with pinkeye catches a money shot. For crying out loud, you feel almost bad for throwing the ball to him in the first place. You think maybe you should have been more of a gentleman and just tossed it into a Kleenex. Less crying that way. Never trust a man who sleeps with his eyes open or shuts them when catching a ball. It's just not right. H/t to StreetGOP. He's got some cool stories about the missile defense shield and why it will work, and Madonna and why she can't act. And Yet He Keeps His Eyes Open For This Update: Like I said: what the hell is it with this guy? posted by Ace at 03:06 AM
CommentsI think John Sr. is trying to make it absolutley clear that John John is the "catcher" of the couple, er, running mates. Of course, John Sr. throws like Cartman at the Special Olympics, so I'm not too sure who is pitching to the Breck Girl. Posted by: Dear Johns on October 27, 2004 04:40 AM
Gee, all this talk about *Bush* taking his eye off the ball...I'm having trouble deciding whether he catches worse or throws worse. I'm sure in this last week we will have ample evidence for both... Cheers, Posted by: M@ on October 27, 2004 06:14 AM
I guess throwing around a baseball would just make him look like *too* much of a pussy. Maybe they should knock around a polo ball...or croquet...yeah croquet, that's more faggety. Posted by: sentinel on October 27, 2004 09:14 AM
Sentinel, if you really want a questionable sport, it would have to involve either ice skates or a well-oiled Roman. Posted by: bbeck on October 27, 2004 09:32 AM
Give the guy a break! He's working on a Football Catching Plan as we speak. Final version hung-up on what to call the "pointy end" of the ball. Posted by: The Old Coot on October 27, 2004 10:08 AM
Sentinel - He DID 'pitch' a baseball - and, it did make him look like a limp noodle. Ditto his hockey experience. See article via Sporting News Two quotes that describe Kerry perfectly: I say, let's all start calling him 'The Diddler'. 'Cause he catches like a pansy, and you just KNOW that nickname had to really tick him off. Posted by: bkayel on October 27, 2004 10:44 AM
The "Diddler" .........I like that. We will need to get the word out to Rush and Hugh Hewitt and Sean and the other guys on radio so it gets some traction. "Fiddle, diddle, dee, the Diddler man is he".....I know, don't quit my day job. Posted by: Donna on October 27, 2004 06:23 PM
Some thoughts on questionable sports: 1) Anything involving a judge is NOT a sport (no, this doesn't include referees) 2) Anything that involves the deliberate pointing of toes (my sons are not permitted to participate in any sports that involves toe-pointing - in fact, I commonly use the term "toe-pointer" to identify some folks, like, well, Sullivan) Posted by: on October 27, 2004 06:31 PM
Sorry, forgot to sign the above post. Blame me for the toe-pointing post. Posted by: Dear Johns on October 27, 2004 06:32 PM
Ace. The Street thanks you. you will forever 'slice like a fucking hammer' in my book. Posted by: StreetGOP on October 27, 2004 07:32 PM
I have to vote for Kerry now. That photo-op convinces me he's a regular Joe. Posted by: rdbrewer on October 27, 2004 07:44 PM
Welcome back to the realm of the living Ace. Posted by: fat kid on October 27, 2004 08:12 PM
I have noticed before that Lurch has a hard time keeping his eyes open when he's playing football. It could be something serious. Posted by: Joey on October 27, 2004 11:31 PM
Totally unrelated, but is Johnny Coldcuts a prophet? He called the Red Sox in 4 2 months ago. Posted by: Jeff Kelley on October 27, 2004 11:45 PM
Did Johnny Coldcuts actually predict that? Fuckin' amazing if he did. I'll have to find that post. Posted by: ace on October 28, 2004 01:54 AM
If it was not Johnny's debute appearance on your site it was close to it. Posted by: JeffK on October 28, 2004 08:42 AM
If Johnny Coldcuts is that amazing with baseball, what could he do with poltics? Posted by: Nick on October 28, 2004 11:59 AM
http://ace.mu.nu/archives/034762.php "Wanna get rich, fuckface? Five fuckin' words: Red Sox World Series Sweep!" Posted by: Stumbo on October 28, 2004 12:07 PM
Johnny has just predicted the outcome of the election. Posted by: ace on October 28, 2004 01:56 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Live voting in the House to end the shutdown.
I don't know if this is a preliminary procedural vote or what.
I can't tell you the rules of three-dimensional chess but I can tell you the rules of hexagonal chess
Yes it's real This is too nerdy, even for this blog.
Our Favorite British Couple Exploring True America Experiences Flora-Bama And Sees A Side Of The Deep South Rarely Seen. [dri]
Oh no! Hamas' de facto press agent at the UN complains that she can't use her credit cards or rent a card now that she's been sanctioned as a terrorist operative
Why does this keep happening to members of the "political organization" (per Tucker Carlson) of Hamas?!?!
Tucker Carlson claims that it's weird that Ted Cruz is interested in the massacre of Christians by Nigerian Muslims, because he has "no track record of being interested in Christians," then blows off the massacre of Christians by Nigerian Muslims, saying it might or might not be a real concern
Tucker Carlson enjoys using the left-wing tactic of "Tactical Ignorance" to avoid taking positions on topics. Is Hamas really a terrorist organization? Tucker can't say. He hasn't looked into it enough, but "it seems like a political organization to me." Are Muslims slaughtering Christians in Nigeria? Again, Tucker just doesn't know. He hasn't examined the evidence yet. He knows every Palestinian Christian who said he was blocked from visiting holy sites in Bethlehem, but he just hasn't had the time to look into the mass slaughter of Christians in Nigeria that has been going on since (checks watch) 2009. He doesn't know, so he can't offer an opinion. Wouldn't be prudent, you know? Don't rush him! He'll sift through the evidence at some point in the future and render an opinion sometime around 2044. Of course, if you need an opinion on Jewish Perfidy, he has all the facts at his fingertips and can give you a fully informed opinion pronto. Say, have you ever heard of the USS Liberty incident...? You'd think that the main issue for Tucker Carlson, who pretends to be so deeply concerned about Palestinian Christians being bullied by Jews in Israel (supposedly), would be the massacre of 185,000 Christians in Nigeria itself. But no, his main problem is that Ted Cruz is talking about it, "who has no track record of being interested in Christians at all." And then he just shrugs as to whether this is even a real issue or not. Whatever we do we must never "divide the right," huh? Tucker is attacking Ted Cruz for bringing the issue up because he's acting as an apologist for Jihadism, and he can't cleanly admit that Jihadists are killing any Christians, anywhere. There is no daylight between him and CAIR at this point. One might conclude that Tucker Carlson himself isn't interested in the plight of Christians -- except as they can be used as a cudgel to attack Jews. Just gonna ask an Interesting Question myself -- why is it that Tucker Carlson's arguments all track with those shit out by Qatarian propaganda agents and the far left? That if Jews crush an ant underfoot it is worldwide news, but when Muslims slaughter Christians it elicits not even a vigorous shrug?
Garth Merenghi is interviewed by the only man who can fathom his ineffable brilliance -- Garth Merenghi
From the comments: I once glimpsed Garth in the penumbra betwixt my wake and sleep. He was in my dream, standing afar, not looking my way, nor did he acknowledge me. But I felt seen. And that's when I knew I was a traveler on the right path. I'm glad he's still with us. Now that's some Merenghian prose. Garth Merenghi on the writer's craft Greetings, Traveler. If you still have not experienced Garth Merenghi -- Author, Dream-weaver, Visionary, plus Actor -- the six episodes of his Darkplace are still available on YouTube and supposedly upscaled to HD. (Viewing it now, it doesn't appeared upscaled for shit.) I think the second episode, "Hell Hath Fury," is the best by a good margin. Try to at least watch through to that one. It's Mereghi's incisive but nuanced take on sexism.
Update on Scott Adams:
Scott Adams had approval for this cancer drug but they hadn't scheduled him to get it. He was taking a turn for the worse. Trump had told him to call if he needed anything, so he did. Talked to Don Jr (who is in Africa) , then RFK Jr, then Dr Oz. Someone talked to Kaiser and he was scheduled. Shouldn't have needed it but he did and he says it saved his life.
Funny retro kid costumes, thanks to SMH
Good to see people honoring Lamont the Big Dummy
Four hours of retro Halloween commercials and specials
The first short is the original 1996 appearance of "Sam," the dangerous undead trick-or-treater from Trick r' Treat.
ICYMI: Australian journalist actually presses Kamala Harris when she repeatedly dodges questions about Biden's mental fitness
Kamala admits she didn't have the stamina to run for president, while continuing to insist he had the mental capacity to serve as president. He was too frail to run but perfectly strong enough to govern. Yeah sure whatever lying whore.
On Wednesday, we'll see the "Beaver Super-Moon." Which sounds hot.
Full Episode: The Hardy Boys (and Nancy Drew) Meet Dracula
I don't remember this show, except for remembering that Nancy Drew was hot and the opening credits were foreboding and exicting Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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