Done.

Go buy yourself something special, with sparkles.

Oh, and keep telling Bush supporters to vote. That's important.

Cheers,
Dave

I don't like my cool nickname:( How come there are no female nicknames?

Dave,

Does hard liquor sparkle? I guess in a way it does.

Carin,

Well, there aren't any women mentioned in the Paul Anka tapes.

I can call you, um, "Susan."

Sort of a nice name.

Ace, did you get that Amazon voucher I sent you? It went to your Yahoo email address, which is probably spammed to hell so you might not have seen it.

Delphi, I don't think I ever saw that. I'm searching my mail for "amazon."

"It's a pain in the ass"

That was my reason. I lost my Pay Pal info I used to use to fence stolen goods via E-Bay, but I just discovered you don't even need a Pay Pal account to donate. You might want to point that out.

Okay, I did get it. I don't know why I never saw it.

Thanks!

You're welcome, thanks for all the hard work,

Let me get a job first.

Dammit GB, why'd you have to tell me that? Oh well, no more excuses Ace. Have a few cold ones on me.

The same old thing I always tell you, Ace: it's not happening until after the first of the month.

And considering the whole election contribtution issue, it may be way skimpy in November.

same thing I always tell you, Dianna: Your subscription is well-current

My wife and I both work so really the money isn't the issue for me. It's really just the principle of the thing. I mean, you must like what you do, so why not do it for free?

Just the other day I was thrashing a street urchin with my ebony walking stick and almost $50 fell out of my coat and I was so worn out from beating the little monkey that I just left it on the street! Fortunately another fairly prosperous looking fellow was in the area and was able to scoop up the money before the urchin could crawl over to get it.

Anyhoo, besides having an aversion to paying someone for doing something he so obviously adores, there's also the time-comsuming process of logging on to Pay Pal and giving over the required information and all.

So, in closing, let's just say "Not this year" and leave it at that, okay? Let's not have an embarassing scene here.

Pretty funny. I added it as an update.

Now, about that fifty bucks.

Should be hitting up about now.

>>I can call you, um, "Susan."

Susan is Spenser's girl. That's not too shabby.

Sent you $20, for me and for four of the slackers I'll frogmarch over to read your site in the next week.

Ace,

Mazel tov.

Question: if we donate using Paypal, what information about us do you see?

I just checked, because I never really bothered looking. I can see your name and address.

But seriously, I don't even look. I just look at the email name you use and thank you that way.

Still, if that bothers you, it bothers you. I get that.

And then, you know, they get deleted.

Ok, ok, it's only like maybe 3 beers but I hope you enjoy 'em.

Also, I have to go with Carin here and I want a girl type name. How about 'really minor demi-goddess wingnut' for the under-$10 donators?

Ace, I keep telling you--affiliate links. You could pick up $10 every time your readers subscribed to magazines, for example. Or buy books. It's so much more seemly than this pussy PBS begging. And it would pay better.

Also, PayPal fees chew the hell out of a dollar.

Okay, I'll come up with some girly nicknames.

Cal,

Yeah, I keep meaning to do that. Look, I'm just getting around to doing blogads, so I haven't been, like, a real bear on this thing.

Thanks for the tip.

God. I feel like a comedian trying to sell t-shirts after his show.

Dirty.

Okay, I added special nicknames for female donors in an update.

They're, um, not very good, and they're, um, once again almost entirely about sex.

Yeah, but good comics still do it. And if nobody loved those comics, nobody would buy a fucking T-shirt. Self-promotion is a skill, and humility is part of it.

Look like you're doing fine.

(theheighthofcleverness@hotmail.com)

I read your site everyday.

I don't have a paypal account.

Email me and I'll mail you a check.

Keep up the good fight.

You don't need a paypal account to donate through paypal. You only need a credit card.

Ace, I gotta second those telling you to do ads, but it sounds like you're getting the message.

But, don't listen to that no "pussy PBS begging" advice. You know why they do it? It works. Hell, I beg for money for a living. You only feel like a whore for a little while, then you start figuring out how much money you can get for turning bigger tricks.

The paypal fees do suck, but they suck just as much when they're coming from blogads.

If I donate $100 in my wife's name, will you take responsibility for her as "Mrs. Ace of Spades"?

Cheap at twice the price!

How will this appear on my credit card statement? I don't want the lovely Mrs. See Dubya seeing "Ace of Spades" and thinking I'm staking the family farm (or four dollars and eighteen cents) on gambling, or as the Indians call it, "gaming".

So could you arrange for it to, maybe, say something about deviant sex instead? or maybe just "Like a Viking?" thanks.

Qu'ran,

I don't know. What's she look like? High-maintenance or what?

See-Dub,

I'm not sure, but I think it just appears "Ace of Spades HQ."

I have been thinking about chaging the name of the site to "The Manhole." That wouldn't probably get a second glance on your credit card statement.

Incidentally, I joke about having three female readers, but I know I have a lot more than that. I'm always surprised how many women (or, I guess, this being the Internet, "women") visit this site.

I appreciate it.

I mean, I don't understand it. I don't know why normal women would read a site about extreme right-wing politics, pornography, Dungeons and Dragons, and Whitesnake, but whatever the reason, I do appreciate it.

It makes it more fun to blog. If this were a pure sausage-hang, it would seem a little, oh, what's the word? Gay.

Very, very gay.

Not even gay, exactly. More like a bunch of guys sitting around in a basement talkin' about how much tail we're gonna get when we finally get that Chevette all souped up.

Im now one of your Johns, Ace. I always knew you were a pimp daddy. Keep up the "slicing like a f'n hammer" commentary which makes you my favorite blog.

That's more of a dork kind of gay. I should know, we actually do LAN parties on occassion by bringing our computers and locking ourselves in the office I work at for the weekend. The token cute girl comes sometimes but still, it's got to show up somewhere on the gay spectrum. I know it's wrong but it feels so right after after that 3rd bag of Cheetos if you know what I mean.

By the way, do we get a large order of fries with this donation? You deserve a tip in any case but the fries wouldn't hurt.

P.S. If you don't know what a LAN party is, consider yourself lucky.

That's more of a dork kind of gay. I should know, we actually do LAN parties on occassion by bringing our computers and locking ourselves in the office I work at for the weekend.

That's not gay, that's fucking BLISS. I've done that three or four times, and it was AWESOME. Except, you know, for the SIX FUCKING HOURS of people trying futilely to actually get all the computers hooked up and everything functioning, and then the six hours of "Okay, now I'm hosting a game" "I can't see you" "Wait, I've got a bum mouse" "I've got no sound on this system" etc.

But after that-- great.

....The token cute girl comes sometimes but still...

Yeah, right. Her name is "Lara Croft."

By the way, do we get a large order of fries with this donation? You deserve a tip in any case but the fries wouldn't hurt.

Umm, well, I guess I should be gracious about fries, but I have to quote Caddyshack on this one: "You'll get nothing and like it."

Oh yeah, the first couple times that was horrible. We finally got it all worked out though after...3-4 tries. Not to mention the freezer full of junk food I overbought once.

Re: Cute girl

Hmph! Be that way! I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Sorry, all my spare change this month went to the Swift Boat Vets. Priorities, you know.

How about a nekkid picture instead?

bbeck -

Good to see you!

HI, BK!

And Ace was just wondering how many women read his site, lol. I now know he has at least two more.

Do you think my earlier post will scare him? ;)

Later,
bbeck

bbeck -

Nah, not now that he knows you're female.

Well, I'm a heterosexual male. Nudity is always to be favored over cash.

Since we're talking about whoring ourselves out, what's it cost to get a more prominent link?

I mean, not that I think ho'n is wrong, ya know? I'm all for it.

BK, you were right.

And Ace, while the husband doesn't object to the human form being glorified in the medium of photography, he appears to have a near-phobic problem with sharing. Hence, I'll be glad to send a few bucks via Paypal when I can. (Hey look, it's the virtual equivalent of "The check is in the mail.")

On a semi-serious note: you know, if I donated to every blog I surfed, the aforementioned husband would be saying, "Why don't you find a less expensive hobby -- like watching QVC?" So, while the various nicknames and an email may not be considered much of a reward, it sure beats the heck out of what most blogs offer in return for a donation. In other words, sucking up to your readers doesn't hurt youse guys.

Later,
bbeck

I'm going to donate, even though it alarms me you know what culottes are.

Just as long as I'm your one and only Nancy Sinatra.

Donnah,

Of course you are.

BBeck,

Well, now, you're nothing but a darned tease, aren't you?

You have heard that a guy can actually die from unrealized erotic expectations, right? Happpens all the time.

Just kidding, you know.