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October 20, 2004

That Edwards Video

A couple of people have sent me the link to this video of John Edwards primping before a TV appearance.

Like Instapundit, I don't see what the big deal is.

Actually, I could easily see myself making a big deal over this, just to score a cheap shot, but unfortunately that would put me on the side of the unfunny poseur who calls himself an artist for putting together a rather banal video installation of pundits getting ready to go on the air. Harry Shearer, I mean.

Yeah, look, I know he was in Spinal Tap, but let's face it, Shearer wasn't just speaking in character when he said that Nigel/Guest was the fire and McKean/St. Hubbins was the ice and Shearer/Smalls was the "lukewarm water." He was also speaking of his personal contribution to every bit he's ever been in-- always, always he is the lukewarm water. He's always the guy you could easily swap out with any actor you could think of (off the top of my head-- Richard Roundtree-- why not?) and probably improve the comedy.

And yeah, the Male Synchronized Swimming bit was funny. But the man's been in show business (owing to a family connection, I think) his whole life. One would hope he'd have at least four or five minutes for his career highlights reel.

What keeps me from pouncing on this video is the smug and utterly unwarranted condescension of the Hollywood set, people who have been getting make-up nearly every day for their adult lives, now trying to pose as some sort of cutting-edge artistes by showing how foolish a non-SAG-member looks when he gets made-up. Yes, it's all a little effeminate; no man really wants to be seen getting made up (although, secretly, we all do want to be handsome; we just don't want to seem as if we care about it either way). But we're in the television age, and looks definitely count, and if John Edwards wants to play with his bangs to make sure they look just so, I can't really blame him.

You know what else would look foolish? Video of someone just waking up in the morning, drool coming out of the corner of the mouth, bed-head in full effect, the pattern from the afghan imprinted on puffy skin. It happens to all of us, of course; I just don't see what the big fuss would be if someone captured George Bush looking less than presidential before his first coffee of the day.

So, bravissimo, Harry Shearer. Lacking any genuine artistic talent, you've taken the normal avenue of those who seek attention but lack talent-- "conceptual art," art with no skill or craft behind it, just a sort-of cute idea and the money and name-recognition to get it installed in a gallery. And sure, I think Chris Matthews is a dope, but not because he's staring off into space as he waits for his live-shot; what the hell else should he be doing with the two minutes he has before air-time? Splitting atoms?

And yeah, John Edwards is a bit girly getting his hair sprayed. But honestly, when I do make my appearance on Paula Zahn, you can bet your ass I'm going to be all dolled up, girlfriend. The hair will be disheveled, but professionaly disheveled, the sort of carefree, natural look that takes a team of well-paid professionals two hours to acheive.

Anyway. Just a case where a hatred of the talentless but unjustly rewarded exceeds my love of political hackery. Sorry.

posted by Ace at 04:50 AM

Comments

Good for you.

Posted by: David Blue on October 20, 2004 05:00 AM

I believe Shearer's done a lot of voice work for the Simpsons, etc. and I think he's done a lot of comedy writing. I'm sure he's funnier than most of us. However, in the absence of Allah, I now deem Ace to be The Creator of Worlds. So, fuck Harry Shearer.

As far as the Edwards video is concerned, I don't care where it came from. It's funny. And yes, video of waking up with bed-head would be funny, too, depending on who it was. That's the point. It's funny seeing HIM do it. Tell me you wouldn't laugh your ass off seeing Le Fraude taking a shit. C'mon, what would that face look like. Better still, how about TUH-ray-zah pinching a loaf. Oooh, how about TUH-ray-zah yelling at Johnny to light a match. Wait...mental images...coming...too...fast.

Posted by: Dear Johns on October 20, 2004 05:27 AM

what the hell else should he be doing with the two minutes he has before air-time? Splitting atoms?

Survey says: "Blogging (of course)."

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos on October 20, 2004 07:21 AM

What bugs me is that Harry Shearer has been doing this "found art" thing of taking open satellite feeds and passing them off as some kind of new age, edgy performance pieces since the mid 80s! That's one, moderately interesting, non-conceptual, bland form of media that his been pissing on as his own for... what 20 years?!
Lame. Get a new schtick.

Posted by: Ron C on October 20, 2004 07:36 AM

Edwards is a fruit.

Posted by: Stankleberry on October 20, 2004 07:53 AM

He did invented the interjection (learned that word watching School House Rock) of "D'oh"... so he's got that going for him, which is nice.

Posted by: JFH on October 20, 2004 08:34 AM

I thought the point was that Edwards was doing it himself unlike someone who just wanted to get on air, and he wouldn't let the make-up lady near him except with hair-spray. He was using a compact, and he had a system of hair placement. This wasn't an "I can take it for TV" thing, it was a well practiced routine.

That was the gist of what I got. He's a very vain man. But then, Kerry flies his hair dresser out on his private jet for 200 dollar touch-ups.

Posted by: Lollia on October 20, 2004 10:01 AM

As Mr. Bizkit might say, I'm in agreeance with Dear Johns. With Allah's Jihad against updating, Ace has moved--Ortiz style--into the 4-hole.

What I found interesting about the Breck Girl video was the stone face. The megawatt smile is always flashing when the camera is on. He looks like a different person without it.

Posted by: Skinbad on October 20, 2004 10:36 AM

JFH-

You are evil!

Now I'm going to be humming "Conjunction Junction" all d@mn day...

Posted by: scott on October 20, 2004 10:47 AM

I agree too. I don't see the big deal.

However, this is a riot. Smallpox blankets? Putting immigrant kids back in the Atlantic? Desecrating the memory of CHIPS? All things John Kerry supports.

Posted by: Nathan Hamm on October 20, 2004 10:59 AM

Ace-

It's not Harry Shearer taklking, it's Montgomery Burns. When Montogmery Burns speaks, you listen.

Posted by: Jimmy P. on October 20, 2004 12:14 PM

The whole "humor" aspect reminded of when I saw F-9/11 and everyone laughed at the beginning montage of the Bush admin folks getting fixed for their TV appearances.

Seemed pointless and unfair.

Posted by: Russell Wardlow on October 20, 2004 12:26 PM

The point, I thought was that while Edwards is a touch effete with the compact and all, it's not anything that doesn't happen to every guy who goes on TV. Bush, Cheney, Ahhhnold...hell John Wayne had a makeup person. So is he still the Breck guy? Yes. Does this video amount to anything we can point to in order to make a partisan point? No. I chuckled at it, but I decided not to run it.

Posted by: Steve Lance on October 20, 2004 01:06 PM

As pointed out,everyone who appears in front of a camera has had this sort of thing done to them, and to make it some sort of comedy bit shows the lack of creativity on the part of the so-called commedian. On the other hand, no one in their right mind throws a football around the tarmac with their airplane waiting, which is why all those sports moments ARE funny.

Posted by: Raoul Ortega on October 20, 2004 01:13 PM

Does Shearer really deserve credit for "d-oh"?

Would it have caught on without Dan Castellaneta saying it the right way?

I hear people trying to say it all the time and it's not funny. But one guy I know does it just like Dan, and it is funny.

So, maybe typing three letters d...o...h (or maybe four, d...u...o...h) on a piece of paper or a computer monitor wasn't that much better than regurgitating satellite feeds.

By the way, the Cheney clip they had up last night was really lame. I mean, video of Cheney doing something is boring. Cheney could be in one of those decapitation videos sawing off someone's head and he'd drain all the interest out of it. It would be like watching an old shop teacher explain a miter saw.

Can it get more boring by having video of Cheney not doing anything at all? Yes, it can, Harry.

Speaking of decapitation videos...if Shearer had a video feed of Zarqawi and the rest going through their setup, now that might be funny. In a sick rat bastard sort of way.

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos on October 20, 2004 02:22 PM

I am with Lollia on this. If make up is necessary at least take it like a man and not like Liberace.

Posted by: Dman on October 20, 2004 03:03 PM

"Lacking any genuine artistic talent, blah, blah blah..." Your tortureous defense of Gurlie Men such as Edwards and yourself falls flat. But why you go after the messenger is obvious: You resent the fact that Harry Shearer got such mileage out of a hillarious snippet of tape and you didn't. How childish! But not to worry, when you grow up mommy will buy you publicity and acclaim too, just like Harry Shearer!

Posted by: Paul Groben on October 20, 2004 05:46 PM

Make sure you hit the tip-jar, Paul. I can't keep delivering this sort of commentary without your support.

Thanks!

Posted by: ace on October 20, 2004 05:51 PM

Hit a nerve, eh?

Posted by: Paul Groben on October 20, 2004 06:07 PM

Blasphemer. Oh yeah, Paul, buy a fucking dictionary.

Posted by: Dear Johns on October 20, 2004 11:08 PM

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Chris
@chriswithans

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"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.

Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over

"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)

No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.

Now they've lost 84%.

Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.

Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...

The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.

Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.

(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.

Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party

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REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.

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People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
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That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
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