"Bananas vill be bred UNT SLAUGHTERED!!"

Armin Meiwes obviously ate the wrong person.

... all this,a nd it makes a hel of a nice lampshade, too!

"The 56-year old social welfare recipient..."

Heh.

See what happens when you let people stay on welfare too long...

Heil Chiquita!

... I got nothing.

Yeah, and weren't the Japanese working on some square watermelon that was going to "drive the [regular watermelon] from the market"?

These folks will never learn; we like our bananas to be curved, our watermelons to be round and our victories over authoritarian regimes to be total.

I guess it is a matter of time till we see the posters detailing the 'correct' and 'incorrect' angles and dimensions of fruit and vegetables in the produce aisles.

Ever pulled the 'pre-sliced banana' trick on a naive dupe? You tell them of a new breed of the fruit that comes already sliced when you peel it, ready for use in salads or over your breakfast cereal.

Then you show them one. He peels it, and sure enough, the slices fall out in half-inch segments.

Supposedly he freaks out and offers you lots of money. But the only time I tried it, on my mother-in-law, she just shrugged her shoulders and told me it probably would be too expensive and she didn't like new-fangled foods anyway.

The trick is to use a sewing needle and about a foot of thread. You insert the needle at the banana ridge, push it through to the next ridge and pull it out, then re-insert through that hole leading to the NEXT ridge, until you have totally circumnavigated the banana -- then pull the thread out, slicing the inside fruit. Do this multiple times for multiple slices. The holes in the ridges are invisible.

It takes about ten minutes per banana. After my first ho-hum victim reaction, I gave it up as a waste of time.

Maybe we could mail some to the German, and demand a million bucks for the genetic blueprint?

Jim O

Sluts are going to be so depressed. It used to work just like a real human c***, oops!

No, no! I've got it! Bananazis!

I don't if it's a waste of time to sew bananas for 10 minutes to play banana jokes on people. But it was definitely a waste of time reading about it.

In fact, responding to it has caused me to become less intelligent. I'm actually dumber for having written this.

Now I need a Brit to tell me how to vote. You bastard.

With a humdinger of an idea like that, I can't believe he's still on welfare.

Sounds like the Lorena Bobbit method of banana curvature correction.

The Germans are embarking on a path fruit domination and the world just sits silent and watches. HAVE WE LEARNED NOTHING FROM HISTORY!

First they come for the bananas, then they come for the apples and THEN they come for the oranges.

i think the better lead in link is: "dude, what the fuck is wrong with german people?" ala, stan watching the german sheizer video with cartman's mom in it.