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October 07, 2004
If He Can Put Hayden Christiansen in Return of the Jedi, Can't He Replace Jar-Jar With, Say, Norm MacDonald?I sorta want to buy the Star Wars trilogy on DVD, even though the trilogy was almost ruined by the prequels. But Lucas, determined to "improve" the originals until they suck just as bad as the prequels, has inserted Hayden "Manniquin Skywalker" Christiansen into the end of RotJ, replacing the "Force ghost" of old Annikin with young, annoying Annikin. I also understand that not only does Greedo shoot first, but now, before he shoots, he says "Captain Solo, I am going to go cut down acres of virginal rainforests as soon as I am done killing you by shooting at you from close range (and yet missing by a good half yard). You would certainly be well-justified in drawing out your gun furtively and giving me what's what right in the chest! And furthermore, no children younger than 6 years of age should get the idea that you would be behaving dishonorably by doing so!" Yeahp. It's kinda like the J. Giles Band's Centerfold, except with droids and muppets. But it hurts even worse, because, nudy pictures or not, Angel was still hot. Oh no, I can't deny it. Oh yeah, I guess I gotta buy it. Update: Sort of an interesting discussion there, if you're a geek for such things. Pressing question: Did Lucas really intend Leia to end up with Han from the get-go? Did he always envision Luke and Leia as twin siblings? If so, why does one of the spin-off "novels" feature Luke and Leia making out? A bit kinkier than we've come to expect from George "My Kids Wanted More Jar-Jar, So I Gave Them More Jar-Jar" Lucas. Urgent Update! I'm not the only one pissed off and crazed over this incident. Apparently Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith, is so distraught he's taken to mugging pizza-delivery men. Armed with what is either a blaster "set to stun" or just a conventional stun-gun. Don't believe me? I find your lack of faith... disturbing. Thanks to AndrewF for that. posted by Ace at 10:45 AM
CommentsMeh, The changes don't bother me so much and I am a pretty hard core Star Wars fan. These films belong to Lucas and if that is what he wants to do, so be it. In my mind, the changes are not catastrophic, and in the case with the Annakin change, as Episode III will reveal, there will be a reason for it. Oh, actually, I hate the Jedi Rocks bit on Jabba's barge and miss the Ewok song at the end of Jedi. If anything, it is the prequels that have been disappointing so far. Lucas seems to believe he is still making movies for kids, when his real audience is the people that were kids back in 1977. In addition, one cannot but notice that the highlights of the original trilogy were when Lucas took a hands-off approach and let someone else direct and took input on the script. There are too many cringeworthy lines in all the films as it is. Lucas is a great story teller, but at the end of the day, the enthusiasm for Star Wars was sustained by years of games, books, comics, all of which made the franchise more adult. I think the reason the prequels fail is that people flock to see it because it is Star Wars, but are disappointed because it is Lucas' vision of Star Wars, with good stories, but told in a fashion fit for children. While these stories may belong to Lucas, and it is his right to take them where he wants, it still doesn't mean the audience can object to him moulding the films to please his kids. Already I sense the disappointment from Episode III since it is said that vader will only appear in the last 20 minutes, that probably gives him about 5 minutes screen time, and possibly no ass-kicking. It will be interesting to see how any fighting Vader does will mesh with the new acrobatic, martial artsy fights of the previous two films as opposed to the 'Old man' style fighting we saw in the original trilogy. Posted by: DelphiGuy on October 7, 2004 11:40 AM
Correction : "still doesn't mean the audience can't object to him moulding the films to please his kids." "its almost laughable how the Imperial officers" Posted by: DelphiGuy on October 7, 2004 11:42 AM
If you ever get ahold of this book and read through all the revisions that were made to the 'story', it should become clear that Lucas never had more than the barest outline of the stories finished. He made it sound like he had a nine-part story already completed....but if so, why did the storyline morph into one of "redemption from evil"? With the direction he has taken by focusing on Anakin's fall into the Dark Side and recovery, what would the point of the last three movies of the trilogy even be? Lucas got lucky and accidentally made a classic with Star Wars. He got smart and let an excellent director make it even better with The Empire Strikes Back. Then he believed what the press said about his genius and started making kids movies that were only tangentially related to the Star Wars story. That's my take, and I'm sticking to it. Posted by: Nathan on October 7, 2004 01:27 PM
One of the lines they left out: "The ability to rob a pizza delivery man is insignificant next to the power of the Force!" You can see how it just didn't "fit" the main storyline. Posted by: George on October 7, 2004 03:37 PM
Can we all agree that episode I was the most disappointing movie in the history of film? I still remember sitting in the theater during the opening credits, thinking about the years of anticipation. I remember all of that build-up: the renaming of the originals, talk of "clone wars", the unveiling of Darth Maul, talk of a tragic fall. It should have been epic. Instead, what did we get? Jar Jar f'in Binks and metachlorians (if you are going to rip off the concept of mitochondria, and you have 20 years to think of a name, can't you do better than that?). Crap. Anyway - Lucas caught lightning in a bottle with the original. He never planned the Luke/Leia thing (that kiss "for luck" is icky if he did), and the whole "A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi knights. He betrayed and murdered your father" would have been worded differently if the original plan had Vader as Like's father (change murdered to destroyed and you have all the ambiguity that you need). As I said, anyway. If Lucas wants to trash his franchise, I suppose that is his right. Me's-a waste too much time on Jar Jar. David Posted by: David on October 7, 2004 04:54 PM
"It's kinda like the J. Giles Band's Centerfold, except with droids and muppets." Hah...On that note, check out Peter Jackson's magnus opus, Meet the Feebles: http://www.ween.net/feebles/ Posted by: krakatoa on October 7, 2004 05:17 PM
One of the things that bugs me is Lucas' contempt for his fans. His "I don't care what the fans think, its my movie" attitude just puts a sour taste to the whole thing. Why can't Solo be an anti-hero, plugin low-rent bounty hunter first? You've got plenty of Jedi vaporizing with heroicness. Posted by: Iblis on October 7, 2004 05:28 PM
Jar-Jar with Norm MacDonald? No, I think we all know who the best choice would be. That's right, you guessed it: Frank Stallone. Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on October 7, 2004 07:24 PM
I guess you referring to the Alan Dean Foster novel, 'Splinter of the Mind's Eye.' It came ou before even 'Empire...' and while enjoyable on its own it pretty much has to be ingored becaus of how poorly it fits in with the series. Things like the rock that is the Jedi equivalent of Captain America's Super soldier formula for any Force sensitive holding it or Luke serious kicking Vader's ass and sending him packing. Foster's own original work has an odd parallel. One of his early novels could be a model for Dagobah and a later novel in the same universe has his primary running character discovering the object of his affections may be his sister. Posted by: Eric Pobirs on October 8, 2004 03:13 AM
Yes, Lucas is free to do what he wants with "his" films. And I am free to call him a stupid dumbass. Back when the SE Trilogy came out on VHS, I just about fell off my chair when I saw Greedo shoot first. I couldn't believe it. After swearing at the screen, I rewound, watched it again, slack-jawed, wondering how Lucas could be so absolutely lame as to make such a transparently politically correct change. Even now it tickles my gag reflex. Episodes 4&5 were the best. 4 was done before Lucas discovered he was a genius unto himself, and Irvin Kershner made 5 my favorite of the two. 6 was way too cutesy, and I don't just mean the !@#$% Ewoks. The director (Marquardt) had everyone mugging their way through the whole film. Episodes 1&2 were darn near unwatchable for me. As has been mentioned, the stories are okay, but the scripts are awful and Lucas couldn't direct his way out of a tupperware. It takes a unique talent to get lousy performances out of actors that are capable of excellence. All the fancy CG and art direction couldn't save his pitiful films. JarJar? !@#$% Bitter? Me? You think? Posted by: John on October 9, 2004 08:29 AM
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'A Monumental Betrayal': Indiana Republicans Fold Like a Cheap Suit, Defy Trump on Redistricting
GOPe business as usual in the Hoosier State. [CBD]
Live voting in the House to end the shutdown.
I don't know if this is a preliminary procedural vote or what.
I can't tell you the rules of three-dimensional chess but I can tell you the rules of hexagonal chess
Yes it's real This is too nerdy, even for this blog.
Our Favorite British Couple Exploring True America Experiences Flora-Bama And Sees A Side Of The Deep South Rarely Seen. [dri]
Oh no! Hamas' de facto press agent at the UN complains that she can't use her credit cards or rent a card now that she's been sanctioned as a terrorist operative
Why does this keep happening to members of the "political organization" (per Tucker Carlson) of Hamas?!?!
Tucker Carlson claims that it's weird that Ted Cruz is interested in the massacre of Christians by Nigerian Muslims, because he has "no track record of being interested in Christians," then blows off the massacre of Christians by Nigerian Muslims, saying it might or might not be a real concern
Tucker Carlson enjoys using the left-wing tactic of "Tactical Ignorance" to avoid taking positions on topics. Is Hamas really a terrorist organization? Tucker can't say. He hasn't looked into it enough, but "it seems like a political organization to me." Are Muslims slaughtering Christians in Nigeria? Again, Tucker just doesn't know. He hasn't examined the evidence yet. He knows every Palestinian Christian who said he was blocked from visiting holy sites in Bethlehem, but he just hasn't had the time to look into the mass slaughter of Christians in Nigeria that has been going on since (checks watch) 2009. He doesn't know, so he can't offer an opinion. Wouldn't be prudent, you know? Don't rush him! He'll sift through the evidence at some point in the future and render an opinion sometime around 2044. Of course, if you need an opinion on Jewish Perfidy, he has all the facts at his fingertips and can give you a fully informed opinion pronto. Say, have you ever heard of the USS Liberty incident...? You'd think that the main issue for Tucker Carlson, who pretends to be so deeply concerned about Palestinian Christians being bullied by Jews in Israel (supposedly), would be the massacre of 185,000 Christians in Nigeria itself. But no, his main problem is that Ted Cruz is talking about it, "who has no track record of being interested in Christians at all." And then he just shrugs as to whether this is even a real issue or not. Whatever we do we must never "divide the right," huh? Tucker is attacking Ted Cruz for bringing the issue up because he's acting as an apologist for Jihadism, and he can't cleanly admit that Jihadists are killing any Christians, anywhere. There is no daylight between him and CAIR at this point. One might conclude that Tucker Carlson himself isn't interested in the plight of Christians -- except as they can be used as a cudgel to attack Jews. Just gonna ask an Interesting Question myself -- why is it that Tucker Carlson's arguments all track with those shit out by Qatarian propaganda agents and the far left? That if Jews crush an ant underfoot it is worldwide news, but when Muslims slaughter Christians it elicits not even a vigorous shrug?
Garth Merenghi is interviewed by the only man who can fathom his ineffable brilliance -- Garth Merenghi
From the comments: I once glimpsed Garth in the penumbra betwixt my wake and sleep. He was in my dream, standing afar, not looking my way, nor did he acknowledge me. But I felt seen. And that's when I knew I was a traveler on the right path. I'm glad he's still with us. Now that's some Merenghian prose. Garth Merenghi on the writer's craft Greetings, Traveler. If you still have not experienced Garth Merenghi -- Author, Dream-weaver, Visionary, plus Actor -- the six episodes of his Darkplace are still available on YouTube and supposedly upscaled to HD. (Viewing it now, it doesn't appeared upscaled for shit.) I think the second episode, "Hell Hath Fury," is the best by a good margin. Try to at least watch through to that one. It's Mereghi's incisive but nuanced take on sexism.
Update on Scott Adams:
Scott Adams had approval for this cancer drug but they hadn't scheduled him to get it. He was taking a turn for the worse. Trump had told him to call if he needed anything, so he did. Talked to Don Jr (who is in Africa) , then RFK Jr, then Dr Oz. Someone talked to Kaiser and he was scheduled. Shouldn't have needed it but he did and he says it saved his life.
Funny retro kid costumes, thanks to SMH
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