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Podcast: Dolly Parton...an American classic, Michigan's El Sayed is part of our future destruction, More Global Warming nonsense, mail-in balloting restrictions, Darline Graham? Get rid of family dynasties...and more!

Breaking news: Dolly Parton had a real pair of 38s
Or at least one. She carried it everywhere for protection.
This joke brought to you by Benny Hill. And speaking of the British: The Buckingham Palace guard tributed her yesterday

Dolly Parton is badgered into saying something negative about Trump's bus-board locker-room talk, but refuses to bow to the media pressure, telling the twink agitator she learned long ago to "keep your damned mouth shut"
What I'm appreciating is that while her surface is soft and sweet, she's got some actual steel a centimeter underneath.

1977 interview shows that Barbara Walters has always been a seaward and Dolly Parton always had "country class"
Walters actually asks Dolly Parton if she knows that people think she's a joke. This because Walters can't get over the fact that a show-woman has 1, big breasts, and 2, dresses a bit outrageously because, get this, she's an entertainer. A stage performer. You know, someone people pay money to see live and expect them to put on a show.
She never would attack Liberace for wearing glitter-tuxedos. But she's mad that Dolly Parton makes Barbara Walters look bad through association (by being a woman). Babs, you wish people associated the two of you. Believe me, we can tell the difference.

Tim Curry, actor, butler, evil space clown and gay space vampire, and judge on American Duos, dies at age 80 after poor health due to a stroke in 2012

Dolly Parton: Stairway To Heaven
[CBD]

Dolly Parton Dies at 80
[CBD]

TJM talks about the films of Ralph Bakshi, director of the animated The Lord of the Rings and ranks them definitively

Candace Owens joins the Scooby Gang

An Inappropriate Use of the Song "Holiday Road"
Another inappropriate use

Tuq'r Qarlson: "I never mention Ben Shapiro because I don't think about him." Status: FALSE.

This Senator Fought Wildfires From Planes. Now He's Fighting Activists and Bureaucrats "senator tim sheehy on the 'unholy alliance' of environmental rules and activism that's preventing firefighters from doing their jobs..." [Hat Tip: Pete Bog] [CBD]

Dude trolls a city council meeting about permitting yet another mosque by promising the mosque will destroy the Constitution
"All women who are overweight or obese will have to wear burka. 10,000 steps per day, low carb."

Podcast: Will Cuba fall without a fight? More Iran confusion, gun rights for felons isn't a crazy idea, wetbacks are voting! And are data centers of the devil? Nope!

Google finally gets one right

Months ago, I reported that the final Zodiac cypher had been cracked and the name of the killer revealed. And the name of the killer turned out to be someone suspected in the unsolved Black Dahlia murder. The general tone of my mention of this was "serious you guys, this is real."
Well, it's not real. It's total bullshit.
Sorry about that. I did two things: 1, I bought into something, a conspiracy theory really, because it was new and exciting. And 2, I allowed a self-declared "expert" to snow me over with his "expert" claims about solving ciphers, an alleged expertise I could not challenge because I know practically nothing about codebreaking. I remember being similarly swindled by self-declared "experts" babbling about "chromatic aberrations." (Although I didn't really buy into that, but I found it "interesting" and I wasn't strongly skeptical about it. Hey they said they're "experts," they must know that they're talking about, right?)
I screwed up. It won't be the last time, I'm sure.

TJM definitively ranks the films of Andrei Tarkovsky and explains the joys of discovering older movies over anticipating new ones.

Podcast: In Wisconsin, the Dems steal an election from themselves, abortion is cheered in Massachusetts, Spain gets what it voted for, the economy is humming, and more!

Subway rider belts out Nessun Dorma (which you may recognize from Trump's rallies and from my favorite Mission Impossible movie, Rogue Nation)

Via Archimedes:

Selections from H.P. Lovecraft's Brief Tenure as a Whitman's Sampler Copywriter

Chocolate Cherry Cordial
You must not think me mad when I tell you what I found below the thin shell of chocolate used to disguise this bonbon's true face. Yes! Hidden beneath its rich exterior is a hideously moist cherry cordial! What deranged architect could have engineered this non-Euclidean aberration? I dare not speculate.

Caramel Chew
There is a dimension ruled by a blind caramel God-King who sits on a vast, cyclopean milk-chocolate throne while his mindless, gooey followers dance to the piping of crazed flutes. It is said that there are gateways in our world that lead to this caramel hell-planet. The delectable Caramel Chew may be one such portal.

Recent Comments

Pug Mahon, Trumpy can do magic: "It's facility in Laurel, Montana, who knew, does C ..."

NaCly Dog: "Braenyard Yes, but there is incoming crude of C ..."

Anna Puma: "Nyah. Jya ne ..."

Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ : "It's facility in Laurel, Montana, who knew, does C ..."

Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ : "CHS Refinery at McPherson primarily sources its cr ..."

Moderation is the game for mid-term elections: "Boy that Jelly Roll really cared deeply about doin ..."

nurse ratched: "And the most offensive thing a woman can do to ano ..."

BifBewalski - [/s] [/u] [/b] [/i]: " JackStraw Perhaps he just wanted to sail a bea ..."

Rodrigo Borgia: "> I thought, did she find me attractive, or was i ..."

nurse ratched: "Pug, Good on both you and your bride. I real ..."

ugyojekm: "Sherry's thummbs picsAsiaan whipping annd cruel to ..."

LASue: "I was at the bank today and, out of the blue, the ..."

Bloggers in Arms

Some Humorous Asides

Kaboom!

Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You

You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss
Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president.

A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta

Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me

Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn
Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty.

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon

A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates

Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree

Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility

The Dowd-O-Matic!

The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)


Advertise Here! Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact Ace: aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries Thursday Overnight Open Thread - August 27, 2026 Mouthy Puppies Cafe Democrats Begin to Worry About Going All-In on the Great Male Hope Hasan Piker Police Raid Home of Ilhan Omar's Son, Seizing Guns from His Roommate AGs from Iowa and Montana Petition Supreme Court to End California's Left-Wing Extortion of Skydance, as the Left Conspire to Force Them to Sell CNN and HBO So That the Left Can Keep Their Propganda Outlets Communist Candada's National Broadcaster CBC: Do Not Call the 9/11 Attack "Terrorism" On the Fifth Anniversary of the Disasterous Biden Bug-Out of Kabul, Pete Hegseth Upgrades the Honors for Three Heroes of Abbey Gate Exclusive Hamptons Club Cancels Restaurant Service After Illegal Immigrant Staff is Deported ICE Deports a Record Number of Illegals Over the Summer The Morning Rant: Cultural Suicide Mid-Morning Art Thread Absent Friends Captain Whitebread 2026 Jon Ekdahl 2026 Jay Guevara 2025 Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025 Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info: maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups Texas MoMe 2026: 10/16/2026-10/17/2026 Corsicana,TX Contact Ben Had for info	« Manufacturing Expands in September \| Main \| Top Ten John Edwards Debate-Prep Secrets » October 05, 2004 Register to Vote, Now You have little time left. And bear in mind the Democrats are registering a lot of new voters. And, wouldn't you know it, some of the Democratic-leaning organizations are being investigated for potentially-criminal incompetence in failing to register some voters. Just put that in the "Whoopsie-Daisy" file, I guess! (There is no word yet from Oliver Willis about whether this Democratic-leaning organization's gross incompetence in failing to register voters constitutes "racism," as he alleged regarding Republican efforts to reduce voter fraud. When he speaks authoritatively on this issue, I will of course let you know.) Update: Rusty says that the registration deadline for many states has passed. However, some states allow registration for a few days yet. Correction: I initially echoed Florida-Cracker in saying that Republican applications were beign tossed out. That seems to be her interpretation of the events; it is not actually stated in her articles. Since I don't have evidence for that specific claim, I've edited to omit it. Thanks to Dave Pasquino for keeping me honest. Although I'm really getting sick of these "partisan political operatives" conducting an unfair "jihad" against me. posted by Ace at 02:24 PM Comments Ace - Neither of Cracker's links contain references to ACORN tossing Republican registrations. Both links talk about ACORN being potentially criminal in its incompetence and potentially causing many many voters who thought they registered to be turned away at the polling place. But the only reference to throwing away any registrations is Cracker's own comment that Republican registrations are being tossed. Am I missing something? Posted by: Dave Pasquino on October 5, 2004 02:41 PM Last day to register in most states was yesterday. Posted by: Rusty Shackleford on October 5, 2004 02:46 PM Fortunately I was able to register via the "Orange County Democrats" - who had a booth set up down @ Huntington Beach one fine day a few months ago. I got quite possibly the nastiest look ever when I checked "republican" - however I did receive confirmation (via mail) that I am registered. Not that W is going to take CA anyway... :( Posted by: fat kid on October 5, 2004 03:03 PM Dave, You seem to be right. I have corrected and credited you. Posted by: ace on October 5, 2004 03:10 PM The Dems are scraping under every rock for voters this election, and I can't watch a 30 minute program on MTV without seeing an ad for voter registration with thinly veiled hints as to who I should vote for. Even have a client who is harassing all his vendors to vote Kedwards and to take somebody with them to the polls (oh and he works for the federal government). I've seen local elections come down to campaigns giving free drinks for "I voted" stickers, no reason the dems won't resort to any tactic they can. Drug addicts, illegal immigrants and dead people don't show up in polls, so we gotta bring out as many real voters on our side as possible. Posted by: Paul B. on October 5, 2004 04:02 PM Post a comment Name: Email Address: URL: Comments: Remember info?	Now Available! The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines Podcast: Dolly Parton...an American classic, Michigan's El Sayed is part of our future destruction, More Global Warming nonsense, mail-in balloting restrictions, Darline Graham? Get rid of family dynasties...and more! Breaking news: Dolly Parton had a real pair of 38s Or at least one. She carried it everywhere for protection. This joke brought to you by Benny Hill. And speaking of the British: The Buckingham Palace guard tributed her yesterday Dolly Parton is badgered into saying something negative about Trump's bus-board locker-room talk, but refuses to bow to the media pressure, telling the twink agitator she learned long ago to "keep your damned mouth shut" What I'm appreciating is that while her surface is soft and sweet, she's got some actual steel a centimeter underneath. 1977 interview shows that Barbara Walters has always been a seaward and Dolly Parton always had "country class" Walters actually asks Dolly Parton if she knows that people think she's a joke. This because Walters can't get over the fact that a show-woman has 1, big breasts, and 2, dresses a bit outrageously because, get this, she's an entertainer. A stage performer. You know, someone people pay money to see live and expect them to put on a show. She never would attack Liberace for wearing glitter-tuxedos. But she's mad that Dolly Parton makes Barbara Walters look bad through association (by being a woman). Babs, you wish people associated the two of you. Believe me, we can tell the difference. Tim Curry, actor, butler, evil space clown and gay space vampire, and judge on American Duos, dies at age 80 after poor health due to a stroke in 2012 Dolly Parton: Stairway To Heaven [CBD] Dolly Parton Dies at 80 [CBD] TJM talks about the films of Ralph Bakshi, director of the animated The Lord of the Rings and ranks them definitively Candace Owens joins the Scooby Gang An Inappropriate Use of the Song "Holiday Road" Another inappropriate use Tuq'r Qarlson: "I never mention Ben Shapiro because I don't think about him." Status: FALSE. This Senator Fought Wildfires From Planes. Now He's Fighting Activists and Bureaucrats "senator tim sheehy on the 'unholy alliance' of environmental rules and activism that's preventing firefighters from doing their jobs..." [Hat Tip: Pete Bog] [CBD] Dude trolls a city council meeting about permitting yet another mosque by promising the mosque will destroy the Constitution "All women who are overweight or obese will have to wear burka. 10,000 steps per day, low carb." Podcast: Will Cuba fall without a fight? More Iran confusion, gun rights for felons isn't a crazy idea, wetbacks are voting! And are data centers of the devil? Nope! Google finally gets one right Months ago, I reported that the final Zodiac cypher had been cracked and the name of the killer revealed. And the name of the killer turned out to be someone suspected in the unsolved Black Dahlia murder. The general tone of my mention of this was "serious you guys, this is real." Well, it's not real. It's total bullshit. Sorry about that. I did two things: 1, I bought into something, a conspiracy theory really, because it was new and exciting. And 2, I allowed a self-declared "expert" to snow me over with his "expert" claims about solving ciphers, an alleged expertise I could not challenge because I know practically nothing about codebreaking. I remember being similarly swindled by self-declared "experts" babbling about "chromatic aberrations." (Although I didn't really buy into that, but I found it "interesting" and I wasn't strongly skeptical about it. Hey they said they're "experts," they must know that they're talking about, right?) I screwed up. It won't be the last time, I'm sure. TJM definitively ranks the films of Andrei Tarkovsky and explains the joys of discovering older movies over anticipating new ones. Podcast: In Wisconsin, the Dems steal an election from themselves, abortion is cheered in Massachusetts, Spain gets what it voted for, the economy is humming, and more! Subway rider belts out Nessun Dorma (which you may recognize from Trump's rallies and from my favorite Mission Impossible movie, Rogue Nation) Via Archimedes: *Selections from H.P. Lovecraft's Brief Tenure as a Whitman's Sampler Copywriter* Chocolate Cherry Cordial You must not think me mad when I tell you what I found below the thin shell of chocolate used to disguise this bonbon's true face. Yes! Hidden beneath its rich exterior is a hideously moist cherry cordial! What deranged architect could have engineered this non-Euclidean aberration? I dare not speculate. Caramel Chew There is a dimension ruled by a blind caramel God-King who sits on a vast, cyclopean milk-chocolate throne while his mindless, gooey followers dance to the piping of crazed flutes. It is said that there are gateways in our world that lead to this caramel hell-planet. The delectable Caramel Chew may be one such portal. More at this ineffable link Recent Comments Pug Mahon, Trumpy can do magic: "It's facility in Laurel, Montana, who knew, does C ..." NaCly Dog: "Braenyard Yes, but there is incoming crude of C ..." Anna Puma: "Nyah. Jya ne ..." Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ : "It's facility in Laurel, Montana, who knew, does C ..." Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ : "CHS Refinery at McPherson primarily sources its cr ..." Moderation is the game for mid-term elections: "Boy that Jelly Roll really cared deeply about doin ..." nurse ratched: "And the most offensive thing a woman can do to ano ..." BifBewalski - [/s] [/u] [/b] [/i]: " JackStraw Perhaps he just wanted to sail a bea ..." Rodrigo Borgia: "> I thought, did she find me attractive, or was i ..." nurse ratched: "Pug, Good on both you and your bride. I real ..." ugyojekm: "Sherry's thummbs picsAsiaan whipping annd cruel to ..." LASue: "I was at the bank today and, out of the blue, the ..." Bloggers in Arms RI Red's Blog! Behind The Black CutJibNewsletter The Pipeline Second City Cop Talk Of The Town with Steve Noxon Belmont Club Chicago Boyz Cold Fury Da Goddess Daily Pundit Dawn Eden Day by Day (Cartoon) EduWonk Enter Stage Right The Epoch Times Grim's Hall Victor Davis Hanson Hugh Hewitt IMAO Instapundit JihadWatch Kausfiles Lileks/The Bleat Memeorandum (Metablog) Outside the Beltway Patterico's Pontifications The People's Cube Powerline RedState Reliapundit Viking Pundit WizBang Some Humorous Asides Kaboom! Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! 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