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October 05, 2004
Top Ten John Edwards Debate-Prep Secrets10. To appear less like a callow ambulance-chaser and more like a man of action, he's lightened his hair and wearing a white tunic to look more like Mark Hamill in Star Wars 9. He'll also note that we could have spent that $87 billion to "go to Tashya Station" to buy some wicked "power converters" 8. James Carville is making sure he gets at least 8 hours of sleep every night; new rule: no spooky stories after 9pm (they keep him up all night!) 7. He's been studying his briefing book like a madman, because Bob Shrum says that if he wins the debate, Shrum will buy him a pony 6. He plans on naming the pony either "Princess Prettyprance" or "Dumpling" 5 Under absolutely no circumstances will he fall for any of Dick Cheney's wily rhetorical tricks, like the old "Douchebag says 'what'?" 4. Old John Edwards Mood-Enhancer: Diet Coke 3. In order to boost his "gravitas," he's radically cut down on the number of mentions he makes of Trading Spaces and Extreme Make-Over: Home Edition; he's learned to avoid saying things like "I think matching pillows could really bring Fallujah together" or "What Baghdad really needs now is a 'pop' of color in Sadr City" 2. IN: American flag pin on lapel ... and the Number One John Edwards Debate-Prep Secret... 1. Has memorized an extensive list of economic talking-points by making up a mnemonic song to the tune of Clay Aiken's If I Was Invisible Update:
I don't know quite how to answer that, John. posted by Ace at 02:52 PM
Commentshehehehe Princess Prettyprance hahaha Posted by: Jennifer on October 5, 2004 03:13 PM
Did Barry Manilow help him with lyrics? Posted by: Ari on October 5, 2004 03:28 PM
Someone should ask Edwards if he can do that without showing his teeth... Posted by: Philip McKreviss on October 5, 2004 04:07 PM
hey man- i think it was Bob Woodruff-not Judy Woodruff. I also think Bob said something like"yes you do seem soft, at least compared to Cheney". It was the most honest thing ive heard a reporter say in a while. Rush actually played this part of the interview on his show. does anybody have a transcript? Posted by: atomic_amish on October 5, 2004 05:37 PM
Hell, he seems soft compared to my 7 year old daughter, let alone Cheney. Posted by: michael dennis on October 5, 2004 06:59 PM
According to Jimmy Carter's latest novel, no... he was not soft. Posted by: Chrees on October 5, 2004 07:38 PM
Maybe he should share his ritalin with Kerry. Posted by: Jane on October 5, 2004 07:47 PM
what is the circle pin on edwards lapel? my pre-teen asked if it meant Edwards supported cherrios. Posted by: len on October 6, 2004 12:40 PM
Edwards appears to be pointing at both of his soft spots. Posted by: Tongue Boy on October 6, 2004 02:04 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Some Invisible Man costumes (which I hope aren't just AI):
An invisible man with a missing body (I assume the real person is *behind* the costume; A kid in the same kind of costume, put together by his mom; another invisible man; and another great Invisible Man costume, my favorite.
Email confirmed as once used by the Muskily Heterosexual James Talarico found in leak of emails of Fling.com sex dating site:
An email address that James Talarico's attorneys confirmed belonged to and was at one time used by the Texas Democratic U.S. Senate candidate appears in a database search result associated with the adult dating website Fling.com's 2011 data breach. A Fling.com account was created with Talarico's email address just before Talarico began teaching sixth graders. "Well I can't believe the trans-child-obsessed Confirmed Bachelor James Talarico is into group fetish shit," said noted void phantom Doctor Nullity, The Man Who Never Existed I'm not the guy who noted this, I saw it on X (Razib Khan maybe), but The Bulwark could be "audience capture". It might have started as the Frum / 90s-Kristol / NRO classic Eisenhower Republicanism. But nobody was reading the Bulwark except leftists.
Some researchers think the enigmatic and unreadable cipher of the Voynich Manuscript has resisted decipherment because the pages were bound in the wrong order, and putting them in the right order might allow them to finally break the code
But as of now: No Joy It occurs to me that a key step in breaking the Zodiac 340 cipher was putting the three parts of it in the correct order.
Flashback: "trans man" Lawyer freaks out after a judge denies "his" motion. He's ultimately arrested. "He" makes so much drama he was just recruited to develop a new CW show.
I'm just wondering if this flighty high-calorie pyrsyn is also in the news today for other reasons.... Update: No, it's not. Zee/Zem says they's name is like "Rob Hopkins" or something. Story here, courtesy of The Blade
Buck Throckmorton on The Continuing Crisis (American Spectator) podcast discusses prediction markets.
[CBD]
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
[Song title]
From Anonosaurus Wrecks:
@NBCNews
John Kass retires
He's great. He'll be missed.
Supreme Court to hear arguments on 160-year-ban on home distilleries
It's about time they took on an important case! [CBD] We call on France to exercise restraint when dispersing the freedom fighters on the streets of Paris. These brave warriors for justice must receive immediate humanitarian aid, and their safety must be guaranteed in accordance with international law. Failure to comply will leave us no choice but to bring a case before the ICJ, in close cooperation with that renowned champion of human rights, Afghanistan.-- Israel War Room [CBD]
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: Garrett's Sus iPod Edition
Everybody wants you Everybody wants your love I'd just like to make you mine, all mine Just imagine he's singing that to a dude. BTW I thought this was a completely different band from Garrett's Sus iPod, the Bay City Rollers.
Shane Gillis tells a mildly amusing joke; the feminazis and their gay best friends freak out! [CBD]
Our very own "Weasel" has won the Nobel Prize For Physics:
A Rigorous Investigation into the Quasi-Static Equilibration of Shoulder-Fired Ballistic Platforms: Rear-Bag-Mediated Suppression of Angular Perturbations and Its Implications for Sub-MOA Precision.[CBD] Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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