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| The Lessons of Samarra »
October 05, 2004
Top Ten John Edwards Debate-Prep Secrets10. To appear less like a callow ambulance-chaser and more like a man of action, he's lightened his hair and wearing a white tunic to look more like Mark Hamill in Star Wars 9. He'll also note that we could have spent that $87 billion to "go to Tashya Station" to buy some wicked "power converters" 8. James Carville is making sure he gets at least 8 hours of sleep every night; new rule: no spooky stories after 9pm (they keep him up all night!) 7. He's been studying his briefing book like a madman, because Bob Shrum says that if he wins the debate, Shrum will buy him a pony 6. He plans on naming the pony either "Princess Prettyprance" or "Dumpling" 5 Under absolutely no circumstances will he fall for any of Dick Cheney's wily rhetorical tricks, like the old "Douchebag says 'what'?" 4. Old John Edwards Mood-Enhancer: Diet Coke 3. In order to boost his "gravitas," he's radically cut down on the number of mentions he makes of Trading Spaces and Extreme Make-Over: Home Edition; he's learned to avoid saying things like "I think matching pillows could really bring Fallujah together" or "What Baghdad really needs now is a 'pop' of color in Sadr City" 2. IN: American flag pin on lapel ... and the Number One John Edwards Debate-Prep Secret... 1. Has memorized an extensive list of economic talking-points by making up a mnemonic song to the tune of Clay Aiken's If I Was Invisible Update:
I don't know quite how to answer that, John. posted by Ace at 02:52 PM
Commentshehehehe Princess Prettyprance hahaha Posted by: Jennifer on October 5, 2004 03:13 PM
Did Barry Manilow help him with lyrics? Posted by: Ari on October 5, 2004 03:28 PM
Someone should ask Edwards if he can do that without showing his teeth... Posted by: Philip McKreviss on October 5, 2004 04:07 PM
hey man- i think it was Bob Woodruff-not Judy Woodruff. I also think Bob said something like"yes you do seem soft, at least compared to Cheney". It was the most honest thing ive heard a reporter say in a while. Rush actually played this part of the interview on his show. does anybody have a transcript? Posted by: atomic_amish on October 5, 2004 05:37 PM
Hell, he seems soft compared to my 7 year old daughter, let alone Cheney. Posted by: michael dennis on October 5, 2004 06:59 PM
According to Jimmy Carter's latest novel, no... he was not soft. Posted by: Chrees on October 5, 2004 07:38 PM
Maybe he should share his ritalin with Kerry. Posted by: Jane on October 5, 2004 07:47 PM
what is the circle pin on edwards lapel? my pre-teen asked if it meant Edwards supported cherrios. Posted by: len on October 6, 2004 12:40 PM
Edwards appears to be pointing at both of his soft spots. Posted by: Tongue Boy on October 6, 2004 02:04 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Seattle mayor shrugs off millionaire-tax concerns as 44% of business leaders consider leaving
It happens in all the blue states, but WA and Seattle will be different! [CBD] Mary Margaret Olohan
Oof. Reviewers do not like Scary Movie 6. The criticism I keep hearing is that the movie mistakes a reference for an actual joke. The movie (they say) keeps Key Jangling a reference to another movie (or some other pop culture ephemera) and you expect there to be a joke but nope, the Key Jangle was the joke. Other reviewers say that the promise that "no lines will be uncrossed" is a fake-out, and that the movie is bland and inoffensively corporate.
Whoops! I posted about Dan Goldman losing the NY congressional primary. He might do that, but it won't be tonight -- the primary isn't held until June 23.
One race to keep an eye on: the Levi's heir nepo baby and egregious "Designated Liar" Dan Goldman -- one of the Democrats from a safe district Democrats send out to spread their most indefensible lies -- may actually lose his lower Manhattan/Brooklyn set due to, get this, antisemitism in the Democrat primary electorate.
Antisemitism? In the anti-Nazi Democrat Party? Sounds crazy, I know, but apparently the anti-Nazi Party wants to eliminate Jews. Henry Rosoff Oh my Totenkopf Tattoo, that is a DRUBBING! I'm usually very anti-antisemitism but if the Communist Antisemite Jihadists can pull this one off, Go Communist Antisemite Jihadists, Go!
Democrat Senator Rueben Gallego, who served his wife with divorce papers when she was nine months pregnant so that he could marry his side-piece, counsels us that we should not judge Graham Platner for his infidelity because these things are personal matters, Racists:
Sahil Kapur I like that he says that it's okay that Graham Platner sexted 12 different women within months of marrying the woman to sponge off her because he wasn't then "living a political life" -- the clear meaning being, "We all cheat, we just don't cheat when we're running for office, and he didn't know he was running for office when he was sending dicpics to half the women he ran into." Except he was running: His own wife turned the sexts over to his campaign. And obviously Reuben Gallego didn't let his "political life" get in the way of his extramarital dating life: ![]()
Funny -- if you don't mind clicking on TikTok. "Amy.Pranks.22" set up an AI scam-call screener which replies to a foreign scammer trying to get her bank information with Trumpian bluster. This might be fake because I don't see how a program can respond in real time, but it's funny.
Food Thread Pizza Dough Recipe
The ULA rocket just launched
Thanks to Joyenz The rocket's enormous engines are fueled by "the volcanic heterosexual lust between James Talarico and his Neighbor With a Uterus 'girlfriend'" I hope Amazon's rocket works better than the Amazon Prime app does as far as allowing people to watch the black and white version of "Spider-Noir" From the CA Post: Thanks to beckster
Just like "Spartacus" Corey Booker, now that James Talarico is running for a higher office, he unveils his previously-unknown "girlfriend" and hooboy, it just so happens she used to work for him, and, get this, likes to "dance the night away" at gay bars
Gee I wonder where they might have met Oh and she's a vegan When Corey Booker needed a "girlfriend," he conjured up known LGBTQ activist Rosario Dawson. How convenient that when these guys need a girlfriend to show off to the normies that just happen to find an activist with a strong history of and interest in Supporting Gay Men But seriously, this James Talarico romance with a Neighbor with a Uterus is a love story for the ages. The passion of their lovemaking is hotter than a blue star with a core of Primordial Sex Atoms created in the Big Bang
And just like that, #PunchANazi became Punch a Ballot for a Nazi
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