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October 05, 2004
Top Ten John Edwards Debate-Prep Secrets10. To appear less like a callow ambulance-chaser and more like a man of action, he's lightened his hair and wearing a white tunic to look more like Mark Hamill in Star Wars 9. He'll also note that we could have spent that $87 billion to "go to Tashya Station" to buy some wicked "power converters" 8. James Carville is making sure he gets at least 8 hours of sleep every night; new rule: no spooky stories after 9pm (they keep him up all night!) 7. He's been studying his briefing book like a madman, because Bob Shrum says that if he wins the debate, Shrum will buy him a pony 6. He plans on naming the pony either "Princess Prettyprance" or "Dumpling" 5 Under absolutely no circumstances will he fall for any of Dick Cheney's wily rhetorical tricks, like the old "Douchebag says 'what'?" 4. Old John Edwards Mood-Enhancer: Diet Coke 3. In order to boost his "gravitas," he's radically cut down on the number of mentions he makes of Trading Spaces and Extreme Make-Over: Home Edition; he's learned to avoid saying things like "I think matching pillows could really bring Fallujah together" or "What Baghdad really needs now is a 'pop' of color in Sadr City" 2. IN: American flag pin on lapel ... and the Number One John Edwards Debate-Prep Secret... 1. Has memorized an extensive list of economic talking-points by making up a mnemonic song to the tune of Clay Aiken's If I Was Invisible Update:
I don't know quite how to answer that, John. posted by Ace at 02:52 PM
Commentshehehehe Princess Prettyprance hahaha Posted by: Jennifer on October 5, 2004 03:13 PM
Did Barry Manilow help him with lyrics? Posted by: Ari on October 5, 2004 03:28 PM
Someone should ask Edwards if he can do that without showing his teeth... Posted by: Philip McKreviss on October 5, 2004 04:07 PM
hey man- i think it was Bob Woodruff-not Judy Woodruff. I also think Bob said something like"yes you do seem soft, at least compared to Cheney". It was the most honest thing ive heard a reporter say in a while. Rush actually played this part of the interview on his show. does anybody have a transcript? Posted by: atomic_amish on October 5, 2004 05:37 PM
Hell, he seems soft compared to my 7 year old daughter, let alone Cheney. Posted by: michael dennis on October 5, 2004 06:59 PM
According to Jimmy Carter's latest novel, no... he was not soft. Posted by: Chrees on October 5, 2004 07:38 PM
Maybe he should share his ritalin with Kerry. Posted by: Jane on October 5, 2004 07:47 PM
what is the circle pin on edwards lapel? my pre-teen asked if it meant Edwards supported cherrios. Posted by: len on October 6, 2004 12:40 PM
Edwards appears to be pointing at both of his soft spots. Posted by: Tongue Boy on October 6, 2004 02:04 PM
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Kyrsten Sinema
Classics of Yacht Rock Mystery Click
Oh but it's all right Once you get past the pain You'll learn to find your love again So keep your heart open This is a fantastic (casual) driving song, when you're actually driving a little below the speed limit because you don't really have anywhere to be. Going forward, if we have any arguments about what is or what is not Yacht Rock, we can just consult the Yacht or Nyacht? website, which has ranked hundreds of songs according to their Yacht Quotient (YQ). I can see this website stopping arguments, fistfights, and formal duels.
In solidarity with the MSM, Rich Lowry and National Review vilified the Covington Kids as racist agitators back in 2019. Now, it’s Rich Lowry being canceled for an accidental slip of the tongue that sounded like a forbidden word. There’s a lesson here for the Polite Right, but they won’t learn it. [Buck]
Forgotten 70s Mystery Click: Pop Princess Edition
'Cause it gets me nowhere to tell you no/ And it gets me nowhere to make you go From the same album
Are Lebanese citizens making up songs praising the #pager bombs?
Olympics judo star Nemanja Majdov banned for 5 months after making sign of cross at Paris Games [CBD]
The Lost Classics of Yacht Rock
You know you can't fool me I've been loving you too long It started so easy You want to carry on I'm not sure this is even Yacht Rock. This might just be very soft rock. I can't see myself sniffing cocaine from a Boat Hoe's cleavage to this song, which is the primary criterion of Yacht Rock. But I think this song more crosses from the shallows of soft rock to the cresting majesty of Yacht Rock. This is definitely bouncy enough for Hoe Snow. Very smooth, a little folky, a little jazzy. It's got that Hoe Snow snap.
From Andycanuck: Hezballah members reporting for work today, a little bit skittish about entering the code on an electronic keypad lock
I don't know if this is real. It's certainly accurate -- no one in Hezballah is happy to be handling any kind of electronic device today.
FAA fines SpaceX $633K for acting without its permission "These fines therefore are simply because FAA management has hurt feelings because SpaceX wouldn't wait for it to twiddle its thumbs for a few more weeks. The fines also suggest that FAA management is either being pressured to hinder SpaceX's commercial operations by higher ups in the White House, or that management itself is trying to exert more power over the company, for apparently very petty reasons." [CBD]
1) Individuals, on camera and audio, stating what they saw is "unconfirmed" with "no specific reports"
Rep. James Comer writes letter to criminal Christopher Wray, seeking information about Tim Walz's many, many suspicious trips to China
The FBI investigated whether Trump was a Russian agent based upon... nothing. Think they're investigating Walz, or nah?
Sopranos vs. Star Trek
Thanks to "NYT c*cksuckers"
Film Threat's Alan Ng gives Am I Racist? 8 1/2 out of ten, calling it "consistently hilarious"
Opens today. This is another one I have to see. It's being shown at AMC theaters so it will be on enough screens that people will be able to see it.
New book edited by Michael Walsh and featuring essays by Glenn Reynolds, Kurt Schlichter, and others: Against the Corporate Media: Forty-Two Ways the Press Hates You
Michael Walsh asked me to contribute a chapter to this book. I bailed out when I couldn't find a new angle on topic. But Walsh found a bunch of writers who do have new things to say. I'll review the book soon. Definitely consider buying it. Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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