Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Captain Whitebread 2026
Jon Ekdahl 2026
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups





















« An October Surprise On Jobs? | Main | New York Times to Fire Fighters: Drop Dead »
October 04, 2004

John Kerry, the Rosie Ruiz Candidate?

John Kerry has said, repeatedly, that he ran the Boston Marathon.

As you no doubt are aware, John Kerry says a lot of things.

Football Fans For Truth reports that ESPN has been unable to confirm this feat. John Kerry's campaign claims not to be able to provide details -- what year, etc. -- and no official records of this Mendacious Metrosexual Marathon Man seem to exist.

Praytell, was this marathon by any chance the Cambodia Classic? Maybe the Phnom Penh Pro-Am Invitational? The Khmer Rouge Capitalist Dog Run?

Hat tip to CalGal at The Perfect World.


posted by Ace at 01:37 PM
Comments



Great! The first serial liar since LBJ now poised within 1-2 vote percentages of being Prez!

Posted by: Cedarford on October 4, 2004 01:49 PM

Rats, I forgot one thing. John Kerry released his medical records showing he had bad knees from preppie sports injuries in his youth. He can bike, but making the Boston Marathon invite cut, then running 26.2 miles??

Yeah, I'd like to see the Boston Athletic Club records reviewed. Soon!

Apparantly he said it himself so he can't weasel out like he did with the Chinese assault rifle being blamed on a staff flunky filling out a questionnaire improperly.

It's trivial, but with 3-5% of the women's vote swinging to Kerry because they dislike Bush because he can't control his smirking and face fidgiting - it amounts to another strike against Kerry's credibility on more important things like Vietnam medals, foreign affairs, and his domestic pledges. If true.

And men vote as irrationally as some women. A man could be unemployed from outsourcing, have a son stuck in the Sunni Triangle in what he thinks was a stupid war to start, have a wife with a disease that could be cured perhaps with stem cell treatments......and still vote for Bush.

Simply because the guy can't abide a sports cheater.

Posted by: Cedarford on October 4, 2004 02:02 PM

The first serial liar since LBJ? Have we forgotten Clinton already?

Posted by: zetetic on October 4, 2004 02:18 PM

I love that Cambodia line. Can't quit laughing long enough to type.

Posted by: Roundguy on October 4, 2004 02:21 PM

A caller to the Howie Carr radio show this past Friday stated that he saw Kerry do a 5 mile run in the early nineties. Said caller also stated that Kerry could barely walk over the finish line, at which point someone went into a bathroom, grabbed a roll of toilet paper and unrolled it in front of the finish line so Kerry could cross it like he won the damn thing. Such local stories of Kerry's vanity are many and legion in these parts.

Posted by: Roger Bournival on October 4, 2004 02:46 PM

Ok, I'm going to stretch here and offer this little tidbit in his defense... he could have raced without registering and finished without being counted in the official results.

Then again, Boston is hard as hell. It's probably not likely. He probably made it as far as Wellesley, hopped on Commuter Rail to South Station, and then hid behind the bushes and jumped into the finishing pack.

More likely, he was probably talking about his house at Marathon, you know, in the Florida Keys.

Posted by: Charles on October 4, 2004 02:58 PM

Ace, if you want to keep up the comedy aspect of AoSHQ, we're going to have to do something about Cedarford. Depression coming from the comic is fine - coming from a heckler is... well, just depressing.

Posted by: The Black Republican on October 4, 2004 03:07 PM

Now now, black republican.....surely you can see the humor in a ardent male democrat and ardent sports fan deciding Kerry lost his vote - only because he said "Lambert Field" or ran a phantom Marathon?

It's as funny as a women voting for Kerry because he has "nicer hair" than Dubya, or voting for Bush because she admires Laura Bush because Laura provided her own cookie recipe.

And while you laugh, remember that some people actually vote that way.

Posted by: Cedarford on October 4, 2004 05:46 PM

So, what? "I decided to register for the marathon before deciding against it." If Kerry cannot honestly say what, if anything, he actually did in relation to the Boston Marathon after boasting of his participation, it surely offends me who couldn't give a rat's ass about sports.

Back when he was some semblence of a stand-up comic Bill Maher did a gag saying Clinton being a liar wasn't a handicap because he was the BEST liar and voters chose him for the entertainment value in an era when they didn't think there was any serious work to trouble the President. If Kerry is going to try to be a Clintonesque liar he really needs to work on his technique.

Posted by: Eric Pobirs on October 4, 2004 06:59 PM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: CBD and Sefton discuss the Berlin attack, Iran...Again! Sefton's mini Odyssey review, Data Republican's blockbuster reveal about the DNC, and more!
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
She's totally committed to major independence
She's a lady through and through
She gives them quite a battle, all that they can handle
She'll bruise some, she'll hurt some too
I got something done yesterday and am exhausted.
Posted by: ChristyBlinky
[CBD]
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Illegals registered and voted in NJ! Leftist violence is baked into the Democrat cake, Iran's capabilities are being degraded, Londonistan? And...come on SC...no senate dynasties!
Update to the video of a Russian soldier being spun around and thrown by the machinegun he was operating: The soldier was testing an old, archaic Russian machinegun intended to be mounted to a helicopter. The old gun was pressed into service as a possible anti-drone gun. The Russian army is generally depleted and being forced to bring a lot of old, unreliable weapons and platforms to the front.
Also: Ukranian drones have destroyed damaged [CBD] over 147 Russian warships and shadow fleet oil tankers in the Black Sea over the past ten days.
Top Men!
FDA is providing an update regarding the sample of lettuce supplied by Taylor Farms de Mexico which was reported positive on July 18, 2026. Due to the complexity in detection of Cyclospora, FDA laboratory experts re-reviewed the sample results and have concluded that the finding does not represent true amplification and should be considered a false positive. Information about the sample has been removed from the July 18, 2026, update below. FDA has notified Taylor Farms and continues working with the firm to ensure product implicated in this outbreak has been removed from the market. FDA and state partners continue to collect and analyze product samples. As of July 19, 2026, there are no confirmed positive sample results for product testing for Cyclospora.
[CBD]
FEDERAL APPEALS COURT STRIKES DOWN NJ "ASSAULT WEAPONS" BAN/MAGAZINE BAN! Let's see if it reverts to the previous 15 round limit or I can actually run my weapons as God intended! [CBD]
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Trump Slaps Mullin down; he wants the auto stops to continue, we need employment enforcement at our big corporations, The gerontocracy in the Senate, the Iranian junta is true to form, but Trump responds forcefully, and more!
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: Northern Lights Division
Our topic today is music
That's right, like
'Cause my brother and I are now experts in the field, eh
Yeah, right, 'cause we're a band now

Uh, yeah, so
Except for him, I'm a band
Aw, how can you do that?
You're making me look bad
You're such a Hosehead
CNBC ranks Tennessee as dead last in its “Worst States to Live” analysis. The specific reason is that cross-dressing men in TN are denied access to children and women’s private spaces. Texas finished 49th. The “worst” states were all red states. [Buck]
Senator Lindsey Graham (R - SC) has died after a "brief and sudden illness." [Buck]
Recent Comments
It's me donna : "357 Happy Birthday, Donna! Where are you gonna ..."

Thomas Bender: "@338 >>I never quite understood how a state cou ..."

Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon: "Happy Birthday, Donna! Where are you gonna be b ..."

whig: "338 Any state could charge him as well. A federal ..."

Bulg: "Happy Birthday, Donna! Where are you gonna be b ..."

Republican Senate: "Support For… Needing a photo id to vote: &# ..."

Stateless - Keeping 15 year old Ralphy happy and alive. He's a puppy at heart.: "I'm on GatewayPundit. Damn, the WNBA is ghetto ..."

runner: "I am not saying that the right is not free of the ..."

Don Black: ">2) How easy it was to get 95+% of the American pe ..."

JackStraw : ">>And China has long been the early warning system ..."

Sponge - F*ck Cancer: "It would only take one country to ask for Fauci to ..."

It's me donna : "347 Morn' all.... Posted by: It's me donna at J ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives