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October 04, 2004
John Kerry, the Rosie Ruiz Candidate?John Kerry has said, repeatedly, that he ran the Boston Marathon. As you no doubt are aware, John Kerry says a lot of things. Football Fans For Truth reports that ESPN has been unable to confirm this feat. John Kerry's campaign claims not to be able to provide details -- what year, etc. -- and no official records of this Mendacious Metrosexual Marathon Man seem to exist. Praytell, was this marathon by any chance the Cambodia Classic? Maybe the Phnom Penh Pro-Am Invitational? The Khmer Rouge Capitalist Dog Run? Hat tip to CalGal at The Perfect World. posted by Ace at 01:37 PM
CommentsGreat! The first serial liar since LBJ now poised within 1-2 vote percentages of being Prez! Posted by: Cedarford on October 4, 2004 01:49 PM
Rats, I forgot one thing. John Kerry released his medical records showing he had bad knees from preppie sports injuries in his youth. He can bike, but making the Boston Marathon invite cut, then running 26.2 miles?? Yeah, I'd like to see the Boston Athletic Club records reviewed. Soon! Apparantly he said it himself so he can't weasel out like he did with the Chinese assault rifle being blamed on a staff flunky filling out a questionnaire improperly. It's trivial, but with 3-5% of the women's vote swinging to Kerry because they dislike Bush because he can't control his smirking and face fidgiting - it amounts to another strike against Kerry's credibility on more important things like Vietnam medals, foreign affairs, and his domestic pledges. If true. And men vote as irrationally as some women. A man could be unemployed from outsourcing, have a son stuck in the Sunni Triangle in what he thinks was a stupid war to start, have a wife with a disease that could be cured perhaps with stem cell treatments......and still vote for Bush. Simply because the guy can't abide a sports cheater. Posted by: Cedarford on October 4, 2004 02:02 PM
The first serial liar since LBJ? Have we forgotten Clinton already? Posted by: zetetic on October 4, 2004 02:18 PM
I love that Cambodia line. Can't quit laughing long enough to type. Posted by: Roundguy on October 4, 2004 02:21 PM
A caller to the Howie Carr radio show this past Friday stated that he saw Kerry do a 5 mile run in the early nineties. Said caller also stated that Kerry could barely walk over the finish line, at which point someone went into a bathroom, grabbed a roll of toilet paper and unrolled it in front of the finish line so Kerry could cross it like he won the damn thing. Such local stories of Kerry's vanity are many and legion in these parts. Posted by: Roger Bournival on October 4, 2004 02:46 PM
Ok, I'm going to stretch here and offer this little tidbit in his defense... he could have raced without registering and finished without being counted in the official results. Then again, Boston is hard as hell. It's probably not likely. He probably made it as far as Wellesley, hopped on Commuter Rail to South Station, and then hid behind the bushes and jumped into the finishing pack. More likely, he was probably talking about his house at Marathon, you know, in the Florida Keys. Posted by: Charles on October 4, 2004 02:58 PM
Ace, if you want to keep up the comedy aspect of AoSHQ, we're going to have to do something about Cedarford. Depression coming from the comic is fine - coming from a heckler is... well, just depressing. Posted by: The Black Republican on October 4, 2004 03:07 PM
Now now, black republican.....surely you can see the humor in a ardent male democrat and ardent sports fan deciding Kerry lost his vote - only because he said "Lambert Field" or ran a phantom Marathon? It's as funny as a women voting for Kerry because he has "nicer hair" than Dubya, or voting for Bush because she admires Laura Bush because Laura provided her own cookie recipe. And while you laugh, remember that some people actually vote that way. Posted by: Cedarford on October 4, 2004 05:46 PM
So, what? "I decided to register for the marathon before deciding against it." If Kerry cannot honestly say what, if anything, he actually did in relation to the Boston Marathon after boasting of his participation, it surely offends me who couldn't give a rat's ass about sports. Back when he was some semblence of a stand-up comic Bill Maher did a gag saying Clinton being a liar wasn't a handicap because he was the BEST liar and voters chose him for the entertainment value in an era when they didn't think there was any serious work to trouble the President. If Kerry is going to try to be a Clintonesque liar he really needs to work on his technique. Posted by: Eric Pobirs on October 4, 2004 06:59 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
British travel blogger experiences his first SEC college football game, tailgating, and Southern hospitality. His videos display the true America and not the dystopia shown by Hollywood. (take notice of how 95% of the people are thin, attractive, fun loving, friendly, and polite.) [dri]
Original KISS guitarist Ace Frehley dies at age 74
I heard that his solo album, back when each member of KISS cut their own record, was pretty good. Here's that solo album, from 1978. Sounds a bit like The Sweet.
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: Garrett's Infinite Playlist Edition
Why can't you set your monkey free?
Eleventh Starship/Superheavy a complete success
"On the eleventh orbital test flight today of Starship/Superheavy, SpaceX basically achieved all its engineering goals, with both Superheavy and Starship completing their flights as planned, with Superheavy doing a soft vertical splashdown in the Gulf of Mexico, and Starship doing a soft vertical splashdown in the Indian Ocean." [CBD]
The architectural history of the spooky old house
Kind of interesting, looks at the design cues that inform stuff like the Addams Family Mansion and the other media "spooky old houses" of our imagination
Robert Spencer: Hamas Out to Destroy the Gazan Clans That Oppose It [CBD]
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Twitch's prized terrorist Hasan Piker activates his dog's shock collar because it... got up and walked two feet away from its designated area
I saw Nuxanor claiming that Piker is claiming he feels physically unsafe in public. it takes some real gall to play the Real Victim Here card, given that he has called for the murders of Senator Rick Scott and
Chris Dreja RIP: of the legendary 60s Rock band The Yardbirds has died at 79.
Dreja co-founded The Yardbirds in 1963; playing rhythm guitar alongside lead axman Tom Topham, singer Keith Relf, drummer Jim McCarthy and bassist Paul Samwell-Smith. The group would go on to feature three of the most celebrated guitarists in rock history in Eric Clapton, who replaced Topham in 1993; Jeff Beck, who took over for Clapton in 1965; and future Led Zeppelin heavyweight Jimmy Page, who joined in 1966; when Samwell-Smith left. (J.J. Sefton)
I have no regrets about quitting the NFL.
I also have no regrets about quitting the increasingly gay James Bond: Bleeding Fool Censored images of Bond, now disarmed, here via BetaCuck4Lyfe, which coincidentally enough will be James Bond's new cover identity.
Harvard hires drag queen named 'LaWhore Vagistan' as visiting professor
You can't make this up! [CBD] ![]()
Oh great, another reboot of an old TV series for "The Modern Audience"
Trump taunts Democrat leaders with 'Trump 2028' hats in Oval Office
The man knows how to troll! [CBD]
High-power microwave system downs 49 drones in one shot - weaponized electromagnetic interference erases drone swarms en masse Measure...counter-measure...counter-counter-measure? [CBD]
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