Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021

Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

TBD





















« An October Surprise On Jobs? | Main | New York Times to Fire Fighters: Drop Dead »
October 04, 2004

John Kerry, the Rosie Ruiz Candidate?

John Kerry has said, repeatedly, that he ran the Boston Marathon.

As you no doubt are aware, John Kerry says a lot of things.

Football Fans For Truth reports that ESPN has been unable to confirm this feat. John Kerry's campaign claims not to be able to provide details -- what year, etc. -- and no official records of this Mendacious Metrosexual Marathon Man seem to exist.

Praytell, was this marathon by any chance the Cambodia Classic? Maybe the Phnom Penh Pro-Am Invitational? The Khmer Rouge Capitalist Dog Run?

Hat tip to CalGal at The Perfect World.


posted by Ace at 01:37 PM
Comments



Great! The first serial liar since LBJ now poised within 1-2 vote percentages of being Prez!

Posted by: Cedarford on October 4, 2004 01:49 PM

Rats, I forgot one thing. John Kerry released his medical records showing he had bad knees from preppie sports injuries in his youth. He can bike, but making the Boston Marathon invite cut, then running 26.2 miles??

Yeah, I'd like to see the Boston Athletic Club records reviewed. Soon!

Apparantly he said it himself so he can't weasel out like he did with the Chinese assault rifle being blamed on a staff flunky filling out a questionnaire improperly.

It's trivial, but with 3-5% of the women's vote swinging to Kerry because they dislike Bush because he can't control his smirking and face fidgiting - it amounts to another strike against Kerry's credibility on more important things like Vietnam medals, foreign affairs, and his domestic pledges. If true.

And men vote as irrationally as some women. A man could be unemployed from outsourcing, have a son stuck in the Sunni Triangle in what he thinks was a stupid war to start, have a wife with a disease that could be cured perhaps with stem cell treatments......and still vote for Bush.

Simply because the guy can't abide a sports cheater.

Posted by: Cedarford on October 4, 2004 02:02 PM

The first serial liar since LBJ? Have we forgotten Clinton already?

Posted by: zetetic on October 4, 2004 02:18 PM

I love that Cambodia line. Can't quit laughing long enough to type.

Posted by: Roundguy on October 4, 2004 02:21 PM

A caller to the Howie Carr radio show this past Friday stated that he saw Kerry do a 5 mile run in the early nineties. Said caller also stated that Kerry could barely walk over the finish line, at which point someone went into a bathroom, grabbed a roll of toilet paper and unrolled it in front of the finish line so Kerry could cross it like he won the damn thing. Such local stories of Kerry's vanity are many and legion in these parts.

Posted by: Roger Bournival on October 4, 2004 02:46 PM

Ok, I'm going to stretch here and offer this little tidbit in his defense... he could have raced without registering and finished without being counted in the official results.

Then again, Boston is hard as hell. It's probably not likely. He probably made it as far as Wellesley, hopped on Commuter Rail to South Station, and then hid behind the bushes and jumped into the finishing pack.

More likely, he was probably talking about his house at Marathon, you know, in the Florida Keys.

Posted by: Charles on October 4, 2004 02:58 PM

Ace, if you want to keep up the comedy aspect of AoSHQ, we're going to have to do something about Cedarford. Depression coming from the comic is fine - coming from a heckler is... well, just depressing.

Posted by: The Black Republican on October 4, 2004 03:07 PM

Now now, black republican.....surely you can see the humor in a ardent male democrat and ardent sports fan deciding Kerry lost his vote - only because he said "Lambert Field" or ran a phantom Marathon?

It's as funny as a women voting for Kerry because he has "nicer hair" than Dubya, or voting for Bush because she admires Laura Bush because Laura provided her own cookie recipe.

And while you laugh, remember that some people actually vote that way.

Posted by: Cedarford on October 4, 2004 05:46 PM

So, what? "I decided to register for the marathon before deciding against it." If Kerry cannot honestly say what, if anything, he actually did in relation to the Boston Marathon after boasting of his participation, it surely offends me who couldn't give a rat's ass about sports.

Back when he was some semblence of a stand-up comic Bill Maher did a gag saying Clinton being a liar wasn't a handicap because he was the BEST liar and voters chose him for the entertainment value in an era when they didn't think there was any serious work to trouble the President. If Kerry is going to try to be a Clintonesque liar he really needs to work on his technique.

Posted by: Eric Pobirs on October 4, 2004 06:59 PM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
More revelations about the least-sexy broken relationship in media history
I'd wanted to review Parts 2, 3, and 4 of Ryan Lizza's revenge posts about Olivia Nuzzi, but they're all paywalled. I thought about briefly subscribing to get at them, but then I read this in Part 2:
Remember the bamboo from Part 1?

Do I ever! It's all I remember!
Well, bamboo is actually a type of grass, and underground, it's all connected in a sprawling network, just like the parts of this story I never wanted to tell. I wish I hadn't been put in this position, that I didn't have to write about any of this, that I didn't have to subject myself or my loved ones to embarrassment and further loss of privacy.

We're back to the fucking bamboo. Guys, I don't think I can pay for bamboo ruminations.
I think he added that because he was embarrassed about all the bamboo imagery from Part 1. He's justifying his twin obsessions: His ex, and bamboo. Which is not a tree but a kind of grass, he'll have you know.
Olivia Nuzzi's crappy Sex and the City fanfic book isn't selling, says CNN (and CNN seems pretty pleased about that)
On Tuesday, the book arrived in stores. At lunchtime, in the Midtown Manhattan nexus of media and publishing, interest in Nuzzi's story seemed more muted. The Barnes and Noble on Fifth Avenue had seven copies tucked into a "New & Notable" rack next to the escalator, below Malala Yousafzai's "Finding My Way." Not many had sold so far, a store employee said.

A few blocks uptown, at a branch of the local independent chain McNally Jackson Books, a few volumes lay on a table of new and noteworthy nonfiction near the front of the store. No one was lining up to get them, or even browsing. Bookseller Alex Howe told CNN around 3 p.m. that though the store had procured "several dozen" copies, not a single one had yet sold -- a figure he said was surprising, considering how many people in media and publishing work in the area.

"We ordered a lot and so far, people have not been beating down the door," Howe said. "I'm not sure where we're gonna put them because right now, supply is outpacing demand." (A manager at McNally Jackson noted that Howe was speaking only in a personal capacity, not as a representative of the store.)

She trashes Ryan Lizza for his "Revenge Porn" here. Emily Jashinsky says that when the Bulwark's gay grifter Tim Miller asked why she didn't report on the (alleged) use of ketamine by RFKJr., she broke down in tears and asked to end the interview.
Canada Euthanized a Record 16.4K People Last Year
Aktion T4, now with Poutine! [CBD]
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Sefton is back with CBD to discuss killing narco-terrorists (we are both for it!), the TN special election, Trump's communication skills, and more!
Minneapolis mayor Jacob Frey vows to Somali criminals that he will not cooperate with ICE, then begins speaking in Somali
Gee I wonder why Walz allowed Somali pirates to steal 1 billion in American dollars... could it possibly be that criminal illegal aliens are voting in elections and the Democrats know it and play to that illegal constituency?
Incumbent Senator John Cornyn (RINO - TX) betrayed his party and his country by voting in favor Biden's Afghan resettlement bill in 2021. Cornyn voted to bring in the Afghan who shot two National Guard soldiers on US soil. A vote for Cornyn is an endorsement of importing unvetted, radicalized murderers. [Buck]
Escaped "SlenderMan Stabber" picked up with her "transgender" friend
We're increasingly loose with the word "transgender" aren't we?
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Jim Lakely of Heartland Institute joins CBD for a discussion of their recent polling that shows a majority of 18-39s want socialism, the Epstein files, what will Mamdani do, and more!
Live voting in the House to end the shutdown.
I don't know if this is a preliminary procedural vote or what.
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Buck Throckmorton joins us for a wide-ranging discussion about the cultural and business shift away from the insanity of EVs and Climate Religion, his calm perspective on last week's election, Tucker is a toad, and more!
Recent Comments
just doing my part to end inflation: "[i]To end inflation, spend money on 1) a good or 2 ..."

Cow Demon: "124 Today is the anniversary of Lennon's murder 45 ..."

Cow Demon: "216 Still one independent agency left: the Federal ..."

JM in Illinois : "168 >>> His killer should have been executed. --- ..."

Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come: "Another stupid Stephen King story? ..."

Cow Demon: "570 @sentdefender. 12m Democrat Rep. Ami Bera, ..."

Tranq Crappa: "MY HARPSICHORD WANTS TO MAIM YOUR GREAT AUNT!! ..."

Tranq Crappa: "My harpsichord wants to maim your great aunt! ..."

JM in Illinois : " How do you infuriate a male TRex? Posted by: H ..."

Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ : "When Powell goes there may be changes in operating ..."

Thomas Bender: "I love Frank Zappa, but Zappa saying he couldn't g ..."

JM in Illinois : "Still one independent agency left: the Federal Res ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives