Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Captain Whitebread 2026
Jon Ekdahl 2026
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups





















« An October Surprise On Jobs? | Main | New York Times to Fire Fighters: Drop Dead »
October 04, 2004

John Kerry, the Rosie Ruiz Candidate?

John Kerry has said, repeatedly, that he ran the Boston Marathon.

As you no doubt are aware, John Kerry says a lot of things.

Football Fans For Truth reports that ESPN has been unable to confirm this feat. John Kerry's campaign claims not to be able to provide details -- what year, etc. -- and no official records of this Mendacious Metrosexual Marathon Man seem to exist.

Praytell, was this marathon by any chance the Cambodia Classic? Maybe the Phnom Penh Pro-Am Invitational? The Khmer Rouge Capitalist Dog Run?

Hat tip to CalGal at The Perfect World.


posted by Ace at 01:37 PM
Comments



Great! The first serial liar since LBJ now poised within 1-2 vote percentages of being Prez!

Posted by: Cedarford on October 4, 2004 01:49 PM

Rats, I forgot one thing. John Kerry released his medical records showing he had bad knees from preppie sports injuries in his youth. He can bike, but making the Boston Marathon invite cut, then running 26.2 miles??

Yeah, I'd like to see the Boston Athletic Club records reviewed. Soon!

Apparantly he said it himself so he can't weasel out like he did with the Chinese assault rifle being blamed on a staff flunky filling out a questionnaire improperly.

It's trivial, but with 3-5% of the women's vote swinging to Kerry because they dislike Bush because he can't control his smirking and face fidgiting - it amounts to another strike against Kerry's credibility on more important things like Vietnam medals, foreign affairs, and his domestic pledges. If true.

And men vote as irrationally as some women. A man could be unemployed from outsourcing, have a son stuck in the Sunni Triangle in what he thinks was a stupid war to start, have a wife with a disease that could be cured perhaps with stem cell treatments......and still vote for Bush.

Simply because the guy can't abide a sports cheater.

Posted by: Cedarford on October 4, 2004 02:02 PM

The first serial liar since LBJ? Have we forgotten Clinton already?

Posted by: zetetic on October 4, 2004 02:18 PM

I love that Cambodia line. Can't quit laughing long enough to type.

Posted by: Roundguy on October 4, 2004 02:21 PM

A caller to the Howie Carr radio show this past Friday stated that he saw Kerry do a 5 mile run in the early nineties. Said caller also stated that Kerry could barely walk over the finish line, at which point someone went into a bathroom, grabbed a roll of toilet paper and unrolled it in front of the finish line so Kerry could cross it like he won the damn thing. Such local stories of Kerry's vanity are many and legion in these parts.

Posted by: Roger Bournival on October 4, 2004 02:46 PM

Ok, I'm going to stretch here and offer this little tidbit in his defense... he could have raced without registering and finished without being counted in the official results.

Then again, Boston is hard as hell. It's probably not likely. He probably made it as far as Wellesley, hopped on Commuter Rail to South Station, and then hid behind the bushes and jumped into the finishing pack.

More likely, he was probably talking about his house at Marathon, you know, in the Florida Keys.

Posted by: Charles on October 4, 2004 02:58 PM

Ace, if you want to keep up the comedy aspect of AoSHQ, we're going to have to do something about Cedarford. Depression coming from the comic is fine - coming from a heckler is... well, just depressing.

Posted by: The Black Republican on October 4, 2004 03:07 PM

Now now, black republican.....surely you can see the humor in a ardent male democrat and ardent sports fan deciding Kerry lost his vote - only because he said "Lambert Field" or ran a phantom Marathon?

It's as funny as a women voting for Kerry because he has "nicer hair" than Dubya, or voting for Bush because she admires Laura Bush because Laura provided her own cookie recipe.

And while you laugh, remember that some people actually vote that way.

Posted by: Cedarford on October 4, 2004 05:46 PM

So, what? "I decided to register for the marathon before deciding against it." If Kerry cannot honestly say what, if anything, he actually did in relation to the Boston Marathon after boasting of his participation, it surely offends me who couldn't give a rat's ass about sports.

Back when he was some semblence of a stand-up comic Bill Maher did a gag saying Clinton being a liar wasn't a handicap because he was the BEST liar and voters chose him for the entertainment value in an era when they didn't think there was any serious work to trouble the President. If Kerry is going to try to be a Clintonesque liar he really needs to work on his technique.

Posted by: Eric Pobirs on October 4, 2004 06:59 PM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Dolly Parton...an American classic, Michigan's El Sayed is part of our future destruction, More Global Warming nonsense, mail-in balloting restrictions, Darline Graham? Get rid of family dynasties...and more!
1977 interview shows that Barbara Walters has always been a seaward and Dolly Parton always had "country class"
Walters actually asks Dolly Parton if she knows that people think she's a joke. This because Walters can't get over the fact that a show-woman has 1, big breasts, and 2, dresses a bit outrageously because, get this, she's an entertainer. A stage performer. You know, someone people pay money to see live and expect them to put on a show.
She never would attack Liberace for wearing glitter-tuxedos. But she's mad that Dolly Parton makes Barbara Walters look bad through association (by being a woman). Babs, you wish people associated the two of you. Believe me, we can tell the difference.
This Senator Fought Wildfires From Planes. Now He's Fighting Activists and Bureaucrats "senator tim sheehy on the 'unholy alliance' of environmental rules and activism that's preventing firefighters from doing their jobs..." [Hat Tip: Pete Bog] [CBD]
Dude trolls a city council meeting about permitting yet another mosque by promising the mosque will destroy the Constitution
"All women who are overweight or obese will have to wear burka. 10,000 steps per day, low carb."
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Will Cuba fall without a fight? More Iran confusion, gun rights for felons isn't a crazy idea, wetbacks are voting! And are data centers of the devil? Nope!
Months ago, I reported that the final Zodiac cypher had been cracked and the name of the killer revealed. And the name of the killer turned out to be someone suspected in the unsolved Black Dahlia murder. The general tone of my mention of this was "serious you guys, this is real."
Well, it's not real. It's total bullshit.
Sorry about that. I did two things: 1, I bought into something, a conspiracy theory really, because it was new and exciting. And 2, I allowed a self-declared "expert" to snow me over with his "expert" claims about solving ciphers, an alleged expertise I could not challenge because I know practically nothing about codebreaking. I remember being similarly swindled by self-declared "experts" babbling about "chromatic aberrations." (Although I didn't really buy into that, but I found it "interesting" and I wasn't strongly skeptical about it. Hey they said they're "experts," they must know that they're talking about, right?)
I screwed up. It won't be the last time, I'm sure.
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: In Wisconsin, the Dems steal an election from themselves, abortion is cheered in Massachusetts, Spain gets what it voted for, the economy is humming, and more!
Via Archimedes:
Selections from H.P. Lovecraft's Brief Tenure as a Whitman's Sampler Copywriter

Chocolate Cherry Cordial
You must not think me mad when I tell you what I found below the thin shell of chocolate used to disguise this bonbon's true face. Yes! Hidden beneath its rich exterior is a hideously moist cherry cordial! What deranged architect could have engineered this non-Euclidean aberration? I dare not speculate.

Caramel Chew
There is a dimension ruled by a blind caramel God-King who sits on a vast, cyclopean milk-chocolate throne while his mindless, gooey followers dance to the piping of crazed flutes. It is said that there are gateways in our world that lead to this caramel hell-planet. The delectable Caramel Chew may be one such portal.

More at this ineffable link
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
I haven't forgotten this one. I play it a couple of times a month. But I bet a lot of you forgot it:
Athletic (boogie down)
Hustle (turn back)
Feel pathetic (sugar town)
No muscle (soul hack)
I'm jumping (you move)
No dancer (beside me)
I'm thumping (you prove)
Don't get no answer
Recent Comments
Half Dozen: "Power Line has this documentary of the evacuation: ..."

Sponge - F*ck Cancer: "F*ck Joe Biden. ..."

Oldcat: "Except for being a paper boy, and one summer as a ..."

...: "But what if some extremist Democrats try to run? W ..."

Vengeance : "I got invited to one of these allegedly exclusive ..."

Lunge Clanghole: "165 Anyone else think of Caddyshack when reading t ..."

bob ([i]moron inbobnitus[/i]): "Posted by: ballistic Tell me about it. Worst ..."

Stephen Price Blair: "[i]I wonder what percent of illegals are working ( ..."

Formerly Virginian[/i] [/b]: "While many on the ground showed their true mettle, ..."

...: " I remember Robert Schimmel, I didn't know he died ..."

illiniwek: "Biden (and his team) ... what a piece of shit. ..."

Sponge - F*ck Cancer: "NOODlum. ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives