Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Captain Whitebread 2026
Jon Ekdahl 2026
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

Texas MoMe 2026: 10/16/2026-10/17/2026 Corsicana,TX
Contact Ben Had for info





















« An October Surprise On Jobs? | Main | New York Times to Fire Fighters: Drop Dead »
October 04, 2004

John Kerry, the Rosie Ruiz Candidate?

John Kerry has said, repeatedly, that he ran the Boston Marathon.

As you no doubt are aware, John Kerry says a lot of things.

Football Fans For Truth reports that ESPN has been unable to confirm this feat. John Kerry's campaign claims not to be able to provide details -- what year, etc. -- and no official records of this Mendacious Metrosexual Marathon Man seem to exist.

Praytell, was this marathon by any chance the Cambodia Classic? Maybe the Phnom Penh Pro-Am Invitational? The Khmer Rouge Capitalist Dog Run?

Hat tip to CalGal at The Perfect World.


posted by Ace at 01:37 PM
Comments



Great! The first serial liar since LBJ now poised within 1-2 vote percentages of being Prez!

Posted by: Cedarford on October 4, 2004 01:49 PM

Rats, I forgot one thing. John Kerry released his medical records showing he had bad knees from preppie sports injuries in his youth. He can bike, but making the Boston Marathon invite cut, then running 26.2 miles??

Yeah, I'd like to see the Boston Athletic Club records reviewed. Soon!

Apparantly he said it himself so he can't weasel out like he did with the Chinese assault rifle being blamed on a staff flunky filling out a questionnaire improperly.

It's trivial, but with 3-5% of the women's vote swinging to Kerry because they dislike Bush because he can't control his smirking and face fidgiting - it amounts to another strike against Kerry's credibility on more important things like Vietnam medals, foreign affairs, and his domestic pledges. If true.

And men vote as irrationally as some women. A man could be unemployed from outsourcing, have a son stuck in the Sunni Triangle in what he thinks was a stupid war to start, have a wife with a disease that could be cured perhaps with stem cell treatments......and still vote for Bush.

Simply because the guy can't abide a sports cheater.

Posted by: Cedarford on October 4, 2004 02:02 PM

The first serial liar since LBJ? Have we forgotten Clinton already?

Posted by: zetetic on October 4, 2004 02:18 PM

I love that Cambodia line. Can't quit laughing long enough to type.

Posted by: Roundguy on October 4, 2004 02:21 PM

A caller to the Howie Carr radio show this past Friday stated that he saw Kerry do a 5 mile run in the early nineties. Said caller also stated that Kerry could barely walk over the finish line, at which point someone went into a bathroom, grabbed a roll of toilet paper and unrolled it in front of the finish line so Kerry could cross it like he won the damn thing. Such local stories of Kerry's vanity are many and legion in these parts.

Posted by: Roger Bournival on October 4, 2004 02:46 PM

Ok, I'm going to stretch here and offer this little tidbit in his defense... he could have raced without registering and finished without being counted in the official results.

Then again, Boston is hard as hell. It's probably not likely. He probably made it as far as Wellesley, hopped on Commuter Rail to South Station, and then hid behind the bushes and jumped into the finishing pack.

More likely, he was probably talking about his house at Marathon, you know, in the Florida Keys.

Posted by: Charles on October 4, 2004 02:58 PM

Ace, if you want to keep up the comedy aspect of AoSHQ, we're going to have to do something about Cedarford. Depression coming from the comic is fine - coming from a heckler is... well, just depressing.

Posted by: The Black Republican on October 4, 2004 03:07 PM

Now now, black republican.....surely you can see the humor in a ardent male democrat and ardent sports fan deciding Kerry lost his vote - only because he said "Lambert Field" or ran a phantom Marathon?

It's as funny as a women voting for Kerry because he has "nicer hair" than Dubya, or voting for Bush because she admires Laura Bush because Laura provided her own cookie recipe.

And while you laugh, remember that some people actually vote that way.

Posted by: Cedarford on October 4, 2004 05:46 PM

So, what? "I decided to register for the marathon before deciding against it." If Kerry cannot honestly say what, if anything, he actually did in relation to the Boston Marathon after boasting of his participation, it surely offends me who couldn't give a rat's ass about sports.

Back when he was some semblence of a stand-up comic Bill Maher did a gag saying Clinton being a liar wasn't a handicap because he was the BEST liar and voters chose him for the entertainment value in an era when they didn't think there was any serious work to trouble the President. If Kerry is going to try to be a Clintonesque liar he really needs to work on his technique.

Posted by: Eric Pobirs on October 4, 2004 06:59 PM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
The ULA rocket just launched
Thanks to Joyenz
The rocket's enormous engines are fueled by "the volcanic heterosexual lust between James Talarico and his Neighbor With a Uterus 'girlfriend'"
I hope Amazon's rocket works better than the Amazon Prime app does as far as allowing people to watch the black and white version of "Spider-Noir"
From the CA Post:

Spencer Pratt is now Karen Bass' biggest headache.

A bombshell California Post poll conducted with McLaughlin & Associates shows the reality TV star-turned-mayoral candidate has surged to a statistical tie with the incumbent mayor.

And voters blame homelessness, affordability and the direction of Los Angeles as the reason for turning on Bass.

Pratt now leads the field with 30.1% support, compared with 29.5% for Bass, setting up a razor-thin race heading into next week's primary.

Socialist councilwoman Nithya Raman sits in third place at 23.4%.

Thanks to beckster
Just like "Spartacus" Corey Booker, now that James Talarico is running for a higher office, he unveils his previously-unknown "girlfriend" and hooboy, it just so happens she used to work for him, and, get this, likes to "dance the night away" at gay bars
Gee I wonder where they might have met
Oh and she's a vegan
When Corey Booker needed a "girlfriend," he conjured up known LGBTQ activist Rosario Dawson. How convenient that when these guys need a girlfriend to show off to the normies that just happen to find an activist with a strong history of and interest in Supporting Gay Men
But seriously, this James Talarico romance with a Neighbor with a Uterus is a love story for the ages. The passion of their lovemaking is hotter than a blue star with a core of Primordial Sex Atoms created in the Big Bang
And just like that, #PunchANazi became Punch a Ballot for a Nazi
"Teen" charged with five counts of attempted murder after attempting to run down police officers with his car in yet another "teen takeover" permitted by woke racist incompetent Chicago mayor Brandon Johnson
Johnson's response to the "teen takeovers" of streets and businesses that he refuses to make arrests to stop is to go after social media companies for not deleting messages to coordinate the "teen takeovers." Um, they're supposed to find these messages and delete them in real time?
It makes no sense but he has to offer an "alternative" plan to just arresting lawbreakers -- which he absolutely refuses to do, saying we "can't arrest our way out" of rampant crime.
Future Tucker Carlson guest James Talarico:
James Talarico
@jamestalarico

Black Americans in a church.

Mexican Americans in a store.

Asian Americans in a spa.

Radicalized white men are the greatest domestic terrorist threat in our country.

He's referring to three mass attacks committed by white men in, oh, the past six or eight years. There were a huge number of mass shootings and bombings he had to skip over to cherry pick three committed by white men. Which kind of makes me think that "white men" are not the greatest terrorist threat in our country.
No, I doubt he'll be a guest on Tucker Carlson. The only thing that Tucker clings to that he claims makes him "conservative" is a palpable hatred of gays. Any time there's a communist enslaving their population and executing dissenters and conservatives, Tucker praises that dictator by saying "at least he represses the homos!"
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: CBD and J.J. Sefton discuss the newest iteration of the Iranian negotiations, with the hope that the President will stick to his guns and get rid of the nuclear material, Minneapolis mayor Frey is scum, and an idiot, Artificial Intelligence, and more!
Polls close in Texas at 7pm local (8pm for the East Coast). Vote the RINO out.
Those of you who are longtime Not Watchers of Stephen Colbert will not enjoy this flashback of Colbert dancing with Chuck Schumer while wearing ostentatious covid masks
Rush Limbaugh was an innovator in so many ways, including being among the first to not watch Stephen Colbert
DNI Tulsi Gabbard tenders her resignation for June 30, says her husband has been diagnosed with a rare bone cancer and she will have to help him through this
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: CBD and Jim Lakely of The Heartland Institute chat about Heartland's two recent discussions: The affordability crisis in America, and The UN retreating from their most maniacal climate projections. Along the way we talk Democrat insanity and the changing electoral map...and more!
After threatening that the "clock is ticking" for renewed strikes on Iran, Trump once again calls them off to give negotiating a chance.
I can't even cover this any more. It's embarrassing. It's like covering the endless negotiations over DHS funding. Trump is going to drag this out through the midterms and then lose them.
Note to the president: At some point, allowing the Regime to remain in power without actually forcing them to give up nukes is just a back-door, unacknowledged renewal of the Obama policy.
Well, I guess we just have to wait for their economy to collapse and their troops to desert.
Recent Comments
George Washington Carver: "They make rubber spatulas. They are useful for ge ..."

banana Dream: "They make knife/spatulas for getting peanut butter ..."

Itinerant Alley Butcher: "Grilled PB & J. It's like napalm. Or maybe Greek ..."

George Washington Carver: "Nobody made peanut butter until I invented it. ..."

no one of any consequence: "Tuesday is Soylent Green Day. ..."

NemoMeImpuneLacessit[/i][/b][/u][/s]: "Peanuts were known to the Indians. The Nahuatl wor ..."

496: "For periods? Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher ..."

cmeat: "if you can find a copy of 4000 volts of stacks i h ..."

no one of any consequence: "What! You never heard of a rubber spatula? ..."

San Franpsycho: "Most of you just tried to lick your elbow. Posted ..."

496: "When peanut butter jars get that low I give it to ..."

Emmie -- be strong and courageous!: "Somehow it never occurred to me to be paid when mi ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives