Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021

Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

TBD





















« Rather in the Dock; McEnroe's Ratings in the Ditch | Main | Too Much Cowbell: Construction Spending at All-Time High »
October 01, 2004

This Weekend: A Very Special Episode of Ace of Spades HQ

Ace of Spades, Teenager in Turmoil, learns his best friend is addicted to speed. He must decide to keep the secret, or tell his friend's parents. Special Guest Appearances by Tony Danza, Meredith Baxter-Birney, and former Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders.

My own blogging will be light this weekend -- I have a major pain-in-my-ass commitment, though I'll try to get on the damn hotel computer and do some posting -- but I'm proud to announce the site's first guest host.

Is "proud" the right word, really? I don't think so. Overstates it by at least 80%. Let's just say I'm required to announce the site's first guest host.

I had actually hoped to get someone you might have sorta-mighta heard of to guest-blog this weekend, but the best I could come up with was Hoke Malokey.

Hoke is a smart analyst and damn funny too. He's funny in that dry, erudite witty manner -- you know, pussy-shit. College-boy crap. While I was out there bustin'-ass on a tuna boat in the Berring Straits, Hoke was standing around at a fancy-pants university club in his pansy tweeds and spats making cutting remarks about the pate.

But seriously: he's good. He knows politics inside and out; I've learned a lot from him.

He's also technically incompetent, so if he does anything stupid, like turn the entire site upside down or set the default font to "Sanskrit Sans Serif," try to alert him to that.

Be nice to him, but not too nice to him. I don't want to see anything even close to "You're much better than Ace; why don't you start your own blog?" I'm not going to get on Paula Zahn with that kind of crap being posted on my site.

If you need to contact him, either about a tip or about how badly he's screwed up the coding for the site, drop him a line at hokemalokey-AT-yahoo.com (replace the "-AT-" with @).

Anyway, assuming Hoke doesn't completely nuke the Munuvia software, I'll see you sporadically over the weekend, and then again Sunday night.

Playing the Expectations Game: Incidentally, Hoke Malokey is coming off the bench cold. This is all very last-minute, and he hasn't had time to prepare or anything like that. So, while I imagine he'll have interesting stuff to say, it will be all off-the-cuff and posted on borrowed time.


posted by Ace at 05:00 PM
Comments



Wow...Hoke Malokey! I've herad great things about him. There should be a noticable improvement in this site in Ace's absence.........

Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on October 1, 2004 05:15 PM

Is that Hoke as in "poke" or as in "Hok-EE"?

Hok-EE rhymes better.

Posted by: George on October 1, 2004 05:16 PM

I believe it's "Hok-EE."

Senator,

See? There you go. Just as I feared.

Posted by: ace on October 1, 2004 05:18 PM

I'm just grumpy 'cause I was hoping that Johnny Coldcuts was gonna take over....

Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on October 1, 2004 05:49 PM

Senator,

Alas, I think that Johnny Coldcuts was much like the Chris Elliot character "The Guy Under the Stairs" on the Letterman show.

Funny for a while, and then forgotten.

Sorry.

Posted by: ace on October 1, 2004 05:55 PM

Wow that Hoke Malokey is a much better writer than Ace. He should get his own blog. What that? He hasn't started yet? I stand by my words.

Posted by: Brass on October 1, 2004 06:00 PM

I'm still holding out for Rich "Psycho" Giamboni.

Posted by: John on October 1, 2004 06:25 PM

So let me get this straight.....you threaten to kill off Johnny Coldcuts in order to solicit pledges/donations to save his life...then you write him off (pun intended) anyway?

What next? Are you gonna be selling Bush memos to CBS? Or maybe utilizing some of that expensive Andrew Sullivan bandwidth while blogging from P-town?

It's all a fraud! I'm gonna rally the pajamahadeen and unleash the full fury of the blogosphere on you.

Or not. I'm hungry, and there's a good ballgame coming on. Maybe later.

Posted by: senator philabuster on October 1, 2004 07:34 PM

I have reasons to believe that this post is a forgery.

There is no Berring Sea, there is a Bering Sea. However, Tuna are not fished in the Bering Sea.

What have you done with Ace?!

Posted by: Dave Pasquino on October 2, 2004 08:25 PM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
This isn't Christmas Eve fare, and I thought about waiting until the 26th to post it, but supposedly an amateur detective has solved the Zodiac killer mystery. And the horrific Black Dahlia killing. He says it's the same person! I always thought of them as very far apart in time but I think Black Dahlia was mid-fifties (nope, 1947) mid and the Zodiac murders began in 1968 so it's possible it's the same killer.

The killer, if it's the same man, would have been in his 20s when he killed the Black Dahlia and his 40s when he did the Zodiac murders. Possible.

A little caveat: I saw someone snark on Reddit, "The Zodiac case gets solved more often than Wordle." There are a ton of coincidences here, supposedly, like a Zodiac cipher being solved by the name "Elizabeth." Elizabeth Short was the name of the so-called Black Dahlia.

If you don't know about the Black Dahlia, don't look it up. Just accept that it's grisly on the level of Jack the Ripper.

Yes, the named suspect resembles the police sketch of Zodiac.

Here's a podcast with the amateur sleuth who claims he cracked the Zodiac.
Daily Mail article.
Link to get around the LA Times' paywall for their article.
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: The great Trump fleet? The economy is solid, Somalia's corrosive effect on America, Merry Christmas, and more!
Former Republican liberal Ben Sasse announces that he has stage IV metastasized pancreatic cancer: "I'm gonna die"
It's not just a "death sentence," as he says, but a rapidly coming one. I hope he can put his affairs in order and make sure his family is in a good as a position as they can be.
Brown killer takes the coward's way out. Naturally.
Still not identified, for some reason.
Per Fox 25 Boston, the killer was a non-citizen permanent legal resident
It continues to be strange that the police are so protective of his identity.
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Will Ukraine be a flashpoint for a Korean conflict, Trump's intemperate Reiner comments, it's the economy stupid! the Monroe/Trump Doctrine, Bondi, Brown, MIT, and more!
Fearful French cancel NYE concert on Champs-Élysées as migrant violence grows
The time is now! France must fight for its culture! [CBD]
Megyn Kelly finally calls out Candace Owens
Whoops, I meant she bravely attacks Sydney Sweeney for "bending the knee." (Sweeney put out a very empty PR statement saying "I'm against hate." Whoop-de-doo.)
Megyn Kelly claims she doesn't want to call people out on the right when asked about Candace Owens but then has no compunctions at all about calling people out on the right.
As long as they're not Candace Owens. Strangely, she seems blind and deaf to anything Candace Owens says. That's why this woman calls her "Megyn Keller."
She's now asking her pay-pigs in Pakistan how they think she should address the Candace Owens situation, and if they think this is really all about Israel and the Jews.
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Pete Hegseth is everything the left hates...and we love! Illinois is the next flashpoint for federal supremacy with regard to our borders, Trump's communication leaves something to be desired, and more!
I have happily forgotten what Milo Yiannopoulos sounds like, but I still enjoyed this impression from from Ami Kozak.
More revelations about the least-sexy broken relationship in media history
I'd wanted to review Parts 2, 3, and 4 of Ryan Lizza's revenge posts about Olivia Nuzzi, but they're all paywalled. I thought about briefly subscribing to get at them, but then I read this in Part 2:
Remember the bamboo from Part 1?

Do I ever! It's all I remember!
Well, bamboo is actually a type of grass, and underground, it's all connected in a sprawling network, just like the parts of this story I never wanted to tell. I wish I hadn't been put in this position, that I didn't have to write about any of this, that I didn't have to subject myself or my loved ones to embarrassment and further loss of privacy.

We're back to the fucking bamboo. Guys, I don't think I can pay for bamboo ruminations.
I think he added that because he was embarrassed about all the bamboo imagery from Part 1. He's justifying his twin obsessions: His ex, and bamboo. Which is not a tree but a kind of grass, he'll have you know.
Olivia Nuzzi's crappy Sex and the City fanfic book isn't selling, says CNN (and CNN seems pretty pleased about that)
On Tuesday, the book arrived in stores. At lunchtime, in the Midtown Manhattan nexus of media and publishing, interest in Nuzzi's story seemed more muted. The Barnes and Noble on Fifth Avenue had seven copies tucked into a "New & Notable" rack next to the escalator, below Malala Yousafzai's "Finding My Way." Not many had sold so far, a store employee said.

A few blocks uptown, at a branch of the local independent chain McNally Jackson Books, a few volumes lay on a table of new and noteworthy nonfiction near the front of the store. No one was lining up to get them, or even browsing. Bookseller Alex Howe told CNN around 3 p.m. that though the store had procured "several dozen" copies, not a single one had yet sold -- a figure he said was surprising, considering how many people in media and publishing work in the area.

"We ordered a lot and so far, people have not been beating down the door," Howe said. "I'm not sure where we're gonna put them because right now, supply is outpacing demand." (A manager at McNally Jackson noted that Howe was speaking only in a personal capacity, not as a representative of the store.)

She trashes Ryan Lizza for his "Revenge Porn" here. Emily Jashinsky says that when the Bulwark's gay grifter Tim Miller asked why she didn't report on the (alleged) use of ketamine by RFKJr., she broke down in tears and asked to end the interview.
Canada Euthanized a Record 16.4K People Last Year
Aktion T4, now with Poutine! [CBD]
Recent Comments
Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas, AoSHQ's Plucky Wee One - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn.: "Hello, Horde! 😊♥️🎄 ..."

Lurking Cheshirecat: "Meow ..."

Tonypete: "Good Christmas Eve good people. ..."

mindful webworker - let it shine, let it shine, let it shine: "The Innkeeper got a bad rep. https://bit.ly/the-i ..."

Jingle Ballz: "There's no mopin' when you're in an open sleigh. H ..."

Stephen Price Blair: "Felicem diem natalem Christi, popoli! Last nigh ..."

Soothsayer : " Ace spending his Christmas Eve investigating a s ..."

ShainS -- A DEI Kakistocracy, If You Can Keep It [/b][/i][/s][/u]: "Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 24, 2025 0 ..."

Soothsayer : " We know some of you (Eris) bought & wrapped pres ..."

Anna Puma: "Buono Natal Horde ..."

Common Tater: "Yep, the list is exceptionally long and outrageous ..."

Soothsayer : " [i]My cat is outside, doing cat things. He only ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives