Ace of Spades HQ

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October 01, 2004

This Weekend: A Very Special Episode of Ace of Spades HQ

Ace of Spades, Teenager in Turmoil, learns his best friend is addicted to speed. He must decide to keep the secret, or tell his friend's parents. Special Guest Appearances by Tony Danza, Meredith Baxter-Birney, and former Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders.

My own blogging will be light this weekend -- I have a major pain-in-my-ass commitment, though I'll try to get on the damn hotel computer and do some posting -- but I'm proud to announce the site's first guest host.

Is "proud" the right word, really? I don't think so. Overstates it by at least 80%. Let's just say I'm required to announce the site's first guest host.

I had actually hoped to get someone you might have sorta-mighta heard of to guest-blog this weekend, but the best I could come up with was Hoke Malokey.

Hoke is a smart analyst and damn funny too. He's funny in that dry, erudite witty manner -- you know, pussy-shit. College-boy crap. While I was out there bustin'-ass on a tuna boat in the Berring Straits, Hoke was standing around at a fancy-pants university club in his pansy tweeds and spats making cutting remarks about the pate.

But seriously: he's good. He knows politics inside and out; I've learned a lot from him.

He's also technically incompetent, so if he does anything stupid, like turn the entire site upside down or set the default font to "Sanskrit Sans Serif," try to alert him to that.

Be nice to him, but not too nice to him. I don't want to see anything even close to "You're much better than Ace; why don't you start your own blog?" I'm not going to get on Paula Zahn with that kind of crap being posted on my site.

If you need to contact him, either about a tip or about how badly he's screwed up the coding for the site, drop him a line at hokemalokey-AT-yahoo.com (replace the "-AT-" with @).

Anyway, assuming Hoke doesn't completely nuke the Munuvia software, I'll see you sporadically over the weekend, and then again Sunday night.

Playing the Expectations Game: Incidentally, Hoke Malokey is coming off the bench cold. This is all very last-minute, and he hasn't had time to prepare or anything like that. So, while I imagine he'll have interesting stuff to say, it will be all off-the-cuff and posted on borrowed time.

posted by Ace at 05:00 PM

Comments

Wow...Hoke Malokey! I've herad great things about him. There should be a noticable improvement in this site in Ace's absence.........

Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on October 1, 2004 05:15 PM

Is that Hoke as in "poke" or as in "Hok-EE"?

Hok-EE rhymes better.

Posted by: George on October 1, 2004 05:16 PM

I believe it's "Hok-EE."

Senator,

See? There you go. Just as I feared.

Posted by: ace on October 1, 2004 05:18 PM

I'm just grumpy 'cause I was hoping that Johnny Coldcuts was gonna take over....

Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on October 1, 2004 05:49 PM

Senator,

Alas, I think that Johnny Coldcuts was much like the Chris Elliot character "The Guy Under the Stairs" on the Letterman show.

Funny for a while, and then forgotten.

Sorry.

Posted by: ace on October 1, 2004 05:55 PM

Wow that Hoke Malokey is a much better writer than Ace. He should get his own blog. What that? He hasn't started yet? I stand by my words.

Posted by: Brass on October 1, 2004 06:00 PM

I'm still holding out for Rich "Psycho" Giamboni.

Posted by: John on October 1, 2004 06:25 PM

So let me get this straight.....you threaten to kill off Johnny Coldcuts in order to solicit pledges/donations to save his life...then you write him off (pun intended) anyway?

What next? Are you gonna be selling Bush memos to CBS? Or maybe utilizing some of that expensive Andrew Sullivan bandwidth while blogging from P-town?

It's all a fraud! I'm gonna rally the pajamahadeen and unleash the full fury of the blogosphere on you.

Or not. I'm hungry, and there's a good ballgame coming on. Maybe later.

Posted by: senator philabuster on October 1, 2004 07:34 PM

I have reasons to believe that this post is a forgery.

There is no Berring Sea, there is a Bering Sea. However, Tuna are not fished in the Bering Sea.

What have you done with Ace?!

Posted by: Dave Pasquino on October 2, 2004 08:25 PM


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My own blogging will be light this weekend -- I have a major pain-in-my-ass commitment, though I'll try to get on the damn hotel computer and do some posting -- but I'm proud to announce the site's first guest host. Is "proud" the right word, really? I don't think so. Overstates it by at least 80%. Let's just say I'm required to announce the site's first guest host. I had actually hoped to get someone you might have sorta-mighta heard of to guest-blog this weekend, but the best I could come up with was Hoke Malokey. Hoke is a smart analyst and damn funny too. He's funny in that dry, erudite witty manner -- you know, pussy-shit. College-boy crap. While I was out there bustin'-ass on a tuna boat in the Berring Straits, Hoke was standing around at a fancy-pants university club in his pansy tweeds and spats making cutting remarks about the pate. But seriously: he's good. He knows politics inside and out; I've learned a lot from him. He's also technically incompetent, so if he does anything stupid, like turn the entire site upside down or set the default font to "Sanskrit Sans Serif," try to alert him to that. Be nice to him, but not too nice to him. I don't want to see anything even close to "You're much better than Ace; why don't you start your own blog?" I'm not going to get on Paula Zahn with that kind of crap being posted on my site. If you need to contact him, either about a tip or about how badly he's screwed up the coding for the site, drop him a line at hokemalokey-AT-yahoo.com (replace the "-AT-" with @). Anyway, assuming Hoke doesn't completely nuke the Munuvia software, I'll see you sporadically over the weekend, and then again Sunday night. Playing the Expectations Game: Incidentally, Hoke Malokey is coming off the bench cold. This is all very last-minute, and he hasn't had time to prepare or anything like that. So, while I imagine he'll have interesting stuff to say, it will be all off-the-cuff and posted on borrowed time. posted by Ace at 05:00 PM Comments Wow...Hoke Malokey! I've herad great things about him. There should be a noticable improvement in this site in Ace's absence......... Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on October 1, 2004 05:15 PM Is that Hoke as in "poke" or as in "Hok-EE"? Hok-EE rhymes better. Posted by: George on October 1, 2004 05:16 PM I believe it's "Hok-EE." Senator, See? There you go. Just as I feared. Posted by: ace on October 1, 2004 05:18 PM I'm just grumpy 'cause I was hoping that Johnny Coldcuts was gonna take over.... Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on October 1, 2004 05:49 PM Senator, Alas, I think that Johnny Coldcuts was much like the Chris Elliot character "The Guy Under the Stairs" on the Letterman show. Funny for a while, and then forgotten. Sorry. Posted by: ace on October 1, 2004 05:55 PM Wow that Hoke Malokey is a much better writer than Ace. He should get his own blog. What that? He hasn't started yet? I stand by my words. Posted by: Brass on October 1, 2004 06:00 PM I'm still holding out for Rich "Psycho" Giamboni. Posted by: John on October 1, 2004 06:25 PM So let me get this straight.....you threaten to kill off Johnny Coldcuts in order to solicit pledges/donations to save his life...then you write him off (pun intended) anyway? What next? Are you gonna be selling Bush memos to CBS? Or maybe utilizing some of that expensive Andrew Sullivan bandwidth while blogging from P-town? It's all a fraud! I'm gonna rally the pajamahadeen and unleash the full fury of the blogosphere on you. Or not. I'm hungry, and there's a good ballgame coming on. Maybe later. Posted by: senator philabuster on October 1, 2004 07:34 PM I have reasons to believe that this post is a forgery. There is no Berring Sea, there is a Bering Sea. However, Tuna are not fished in the Bering Sea. What have you done with Ace?! Posted by: Dave Pasquino on October 2, 2004 08:25 PM Post a comment Name: Email Address: URL: Comments: Remember info?	Now Available! The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines Boise State Women's Volleyball Forfeits Match Against Team with Male Player This is the template for a successful fight against the transsexual lunacy in athletics. [CBD] Yacht or Nyacht? With a combined score of 49.5 on Yacht or Nyacht, I'd say this one is a "Nyacht." No Hoe Snow snap. Not bouncy. Pretty dreary. No smooth groove. You won't be able to snort cocaine out of the cleavage of a "Naval Mabel" or "Poopdeck Patty." Or even if you do, it will be half-hearted at best. From Instapundit, a Free Beacon Fact Check: Joe Biden, nominal president of the United States, sat down with the ladies of The View for an interview on Wednesday. "It's like having one of the Beatles at the table," co-host Sarah Haines said as the audience roared and her colleagues cackled. 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