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Friday the 13th Cafe The Week In Woke Surprise! They Made the SAT "Less Demanding" to Hide the Fact That the Establisment Has Given Up Teaching Children to Read Plus: FAA Orders National Grounding of All Flights Greasy Gavin: Cutting Off Children's Body Parts is "Affirming Care" and Pot and Psychadelics Should be Legal and Heroin a Misdemeanor In Small Amounts, But We Have to Keep Weightlifting Teens from Buying Protein Powder and Creatine Paul Sperry: Security Experts Warn That Islamists Pilots Present an "Insider Threat" to Air Safety MAHA Consultant Calley Means: Susie Wiles Was Running a Buckraking Operation Out of the White House and Letting Big Pharma and Big Ag Write Policy If They Just Hired Her Lobbyist Daughter Scott Bessent: I Had to Move to a Military Base Because the IRGC Is Sending Assassins to Kill Me At My Home Because Treasonous "Journalists" at the Wall Street Journal Showed Them Exactly Where I Live New Democrat Plan to Solve the "Housing Crisis:" Let's Inflate the Housing Market By Pouring Government Cash Into It and Letting People Who Can't Afford a Mortgage Buy Homes Until They Default THE MORNING RANT: Ron DeSantis Separates Himself from Legacy GOP with Attack on “Corporatism” Absent Friends
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October 01, 2004
This Weekend: A Very Special Episode of Ace of Spades HQAce of Spades, Teenager in Turmoil, learns his best friend is addicted to speed. He must decide to keep the secret, or tell his friend's parents. Special Guest Appearances by Tony Danza, Meredith Baxter-Birney, and former Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders. My own blogging will be light this weekend -- I have a major pain-in-my-ass commitment, though I'll try to get on the damn hotel computer and do some posting -- but I'm proud to announce the site's first guest host. Is "proud" the right word, really? I don't think so. Overstates it by at least 80%. Let's just say I'm required to announce the site's first guest host. I had actually hoped to get someone you might have sorta-mighta heard of to guest-blog this weekend, but the best I could come up with was Hoke Malokey. Hoke is a smart analyst and damn funny too. He's funny in that dry, erudite witty manner -- you know, pussy-shit. College-boy crap. While I was out there bustin'-ass on a tuna boat in the Berring Straits, Hoke was standing around at a fancy-pants university club in his pansy tweeds and spats making cutting remarks about the pate. But seriously: he's good. He knows politics inside and out; I've learned a lot from him. He's also technically incompetent, so if he does anything stupid, like turn the entire site upside down or set the default font to "Sanskrit Sans Serif," try to alert him to that. Be nice to him, but not too nice to him. I don't want to see anything even close to "You're much better than Ace; why don't you start your own blog?" I'm not going to get on Paula Zahn with that kind of crap being posted on my site. If you need to contact him, either about a tip or about how badly he's screwed up the coding for the site, drop him a line at hokemalokey-AT-yahoo.com (replace the "-AT-" with @). Anyway, assuming Hoke doesn't completely nuke the Munuvia software, I'll see you sporadically over the weekend, and then again Sunday night. Playing the Expectations Game: Incidentally, Hoke Malokey is coming off the bench cold. This is all very last-minute, and he hasn't had time to prepare or anything like that. So, while I imagine he'll have interesting stuff to say, it will be all off-the-cuff and posted on borrowed time. posted by Ace at 05:00 PM
CommentsWow...Hoke Malokey! I've herad great things about him. There should be a noticable improvement in this site in Ace's absence......... Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on October 1, 2004 05:15 PM
Is that Hoke as in "poke" or as in "Hok-EE"? Hok-EE rhymes better. Posted by: George on October 1, 2004 05:16 PM
I believe it's "Hok-EE." Senator, See? There you go. Just as I feared. Posted by: ace on October 1, 2004 05:18 PM
I'm just grumpy 'cause I was hoping that Johnny Coldcuts was gonna take over.... Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on October 1, 2004 05:49 PM
Senator, Alas, I think that Johnny Coldcuts was much like the Chris Elliot character "The Guy Under the Stairs" on the Letterman show. Funny for a while, and then forgotten. Sorry. Posted by: ace on October 1, 2004 05:55 PM
Wow that Hoke Malokey is a much better writer than Ace. He should get his own blog. What that? He hasn't started yet? I stand by my words. Posted by: Brass on October 1, 2004 06:00 PM
I'm still holding out for Rich "Psycho" Giamboni. Posted by: John on October 1, 2004 06:25 PM
So let me get this straight.....you threaten to kill off Johnny Coldcuts in order to solicit pledges/donations to save his life...then you write him off (pun intended) anyway? What next? Are you gonna be selling Bush memos to CBS? Or maybe utilizing some of that expensive Andrew Sullivan bandwidth while blogging from P-town? It's all a fraud! I'm gonna rally the pajamahadeen and unleash the full fury of the blogosphere on you. Or not. I'm hungry, and there's a good ballgame coming on. Maybe later. Posted by: senator philabuster on October 1, 2004 07:34 PM
I have reasons to believe that this post is a forgery. There is no Berring Sea, there is a Bering Sea. However, Tuna are not fished in the Bering Sea. What have you done with Ace?! Posted by: Dave Pasquino on October 2, 2004 08:25 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
The low-ranking drudge who lied and claimed he was a major Trump advisor, and wrote a book ignorantly attacking Trump as "Anonymous" (so that no one would know he was a nobody with no insider knowledge about the President's decisions), takes a self-righteous stance against marital affairs:
Miles Taylor but... Katie Miller Taylor denies the accusation. I guess we'll see. Dear hot Chinese and/or Russian spies. PS, me too. I've got more chips than Frito-Lay. Seinfeld did it first How to know if the suspiciously hot woman who inexplicably wants to have sex in your office at Open AI is a spy the Bee: How to know if your girlfriend is a Chinese Spy thanks to Biden's dog sniffs a lot of malarkey and Kindltot and runner
Cappy Army: Lebanon, long-cowed by Iran-funded Hezballah terrorists (Iran-backed Syrian agents assassinated their president in 2014), is finally taking action against Hezballah, arresting their operatives and seizing their truckloads of C4
Remember it's just all about Israel, right, Tuq'r?
Jonathan Levine recaps Salon's 31 years of loopy pro-pedophile, pro-terrorist propaganda
More of Salon's mentally-ill cuntiness from Ed Driscoll
Some Invisible Man costumes (which I hope aren't just AI):
An invisible man with a missing body (I assume the real person is *behind* the costume; A kid in the same kind of costume, put together by his mom; another invisible man; and another great Invisible Man costume, my favorite.
Email confirmed as once used by the Muskily Heterosexual James Talarico found in leak of emails of Fling.com sex dating site:
An email address that James Talarico's attorneys confirmed belonged to and was at one time used by the Texas Democratic U.S. Senate candidate appears in a database search result associated with the adult dating website Fling.com's 2011 data breach. A Fling.com account was created with Talarico's email address just before Talarico began teaching sixth graders. "Well I can't believe the trans-child-obsessed Confirmed Bachelor James Talarico is into group fetish shit," said noted void phantom Doctor Nullity, The Man Who Never Existed I'm not the guy who noted this, I saw it on X (Razib Khan maybe), but The Bulwark could be "audience capture". It might have started as the Frum / 90s-Kristol / NRO classic Eisenhower Republicanism. But nobody was reading the Bulwark except leftists.
Some researchers think the enigmatic and unreadable cipher of the Voynich Manuscript has resisted decipherment because the pages were bound in the wrong order, and putting them in the right order might allow them to finally break the code
But as of now: No Joy It occurs to me that a key step in breaking the Zodiac 340 cipher was putting the three parts of it in the correct order.
Flashback: "trans man" Lawyer freaks out after a judge denies "his" motion. He's ultimately arrested. "He" makes so much drama he was just recruited to develop a new CW show.
I'm just wondering if this flighty high-calorie pyrsyn is also in the news today for other reasons.... Update: No, it's not. Zee/Zem says they's name is like "Rob Hopkins" or something. Story here, courtesy of The Blade
Buck Throckmorton on The Continuing Crisis (American Spectator) podcast discusses prediction markets.
[CBD]
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
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From Anonosaurus Wrecks:
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John Kass retires
He's great. He'll be missed. Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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