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Thursday Overnight Open Thread - September 3, 2026
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September 27, 2004
John Kerry's Drinking ProblemDave from Garfield Ridge wants to know what's up with John Kerry sipping at his beer like a kitten at spoiled milk. A different Dave, this one from an Undisclosed Location, points out this series of "candid, spontaneous beer-drinkin' photos with regular guys" and notes, "He takes three “sips” and makes one toast (after which he presumably takes another “sip”), yet the only change in the beer is the head goes away." Oh, well. Sipping at his beer is, I guess, better than chugging the Chivas. Correction: Actually, both Dave from Garfield Ridge and an entirely different Dave -- this Dave from an Undisclosed Location -- tipped me to this. I had thought that both were the same guy. It's getting a little confusing. posted by Ace at 02:01 PM
CommentsI saw the photo. Kerry should note that there are two (2) ways to hold a beer mug. One, wrap your entire hand (four fingers, no thumb) around the handle. Like you're holding a torch, or a spear. Thumb goes into the "slot" between the handle and the hollow "cylinder" that holds the beer. Clench tightly. Method Two, slide your entire hand (four fingers, no thumb) into the "slot." Thumb opposes the palm on the other side of the "cylinder." One does not pick it up like an espresso demitasse and sip. Posted by: bledsoe on September 27, 2004 02:34 PM
He would have done better to: a) Guzzle the whole mug of beer in one long swallow. Cheeseheads will respect no less. Posted by: Monty on September 27, 2004 02:40 PM
Lord knows, I hate to give the man a break, but it could've been worse. At least he didn't stick his pinky out when he picked up the mug. Posted by: Sean M. on September 27, 2004 02:41 PM
PIMF. "bad" = "back" Posted by: Monty on September 27, 2004 02:41 PM
At times like this I feel bad that Dubya got off the sauce. He'd show Kerry how to hold his liquor. Two words: beer bong. Man, would that be great, or what? Cheers, P.S. Thanks for the tip, Ace! Posted by: Dave on September 27, 2004 02:43 PM
I hate to play devil's advocate here but I believe there is a perfectly reasonable and nuanced explanation for J. "F***ing" Kerry's reticence to enthusiastically partake from his tall stein of ice-cold amber lusciousness. Knowing the importance of controlling the symbology elicited from a photo-op, the cerebral Sen. Kerry had to conduct an internal intellectual debate as to what message he wanted to send. Obviously, he wanted to convey that he is just one of the guys. But also, in drinking beer, he also wanted to convey that he is a manly man. However, being of Gaelic descent, he realized that real men only drink stout. So when Sen. Kerry was offered a pale ale, he determined that he would have to settle for the one-of-the-guys symbology only. And with further reasoning, he determined that people of his class don't really drink beer, except at lobster boils, so it was not necessary for him to actually consume the said liquid. After all, most of the bozos in the bar would be so awe struck by his mere presence that they would never even notice that he did not condescend to drink that pisslike swill. Posted by: Bohemian Conservative on September 27, 2004 03:06 PM
I'm guessing it wasn't an imported beer. I wonder if inquired about the availability of any brie? Posted by: Master of None on September 27, 2004 03:24 PM
Hey, Bohemian, Posted by: Sean M. on September 27, 2004 03:39 PM
Dave? Dave's not here. Posted by: Phil on September 27, 2004 04:21 PM
It looks to me like the guy he's sitting next to is drinking a clear liquid. That means it's either water ("no way am I actually having a beer with this piece of crap") or vodka ("I need some way to dull the pain"), and either way Kerry is still a sissy. Posted by: Sobek on September 27, 2004 09:06 PM
Hmmmmm...what about the possibility that he was downing beers like he was Kitty Dukakis and each picture was taken after a fresh one was placed in front of him? Posted by: Jersey Matt on September 28, 2004 10:29 AM
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Holiday Break: I've had a rough couple of weeks -- the shoulder is healing now and I'm finally getting decent sleep -- and I've decided to take a long weekend.
I'm taking Friday off, and then Monday off, too. I have Open Threads for both days and I will post if big news breaks, but if it doesn't -- and it probably won't, news is slow before a holiday weekend -- I'm going to take a four day weekend.
Sh0eOnHead discusses the Psychotic Cult of Lindsay
Real quotes: "This case has me feeling like I'm on Law & Order with you guys!" "We literally binge true crime as a hobby, we've been trained for this moment" Worth the watch. If you haven't seen the genuinely upsetting insanity motivating thousands of women, you should watch this just to see how society is crumbling. Ban TikTok, Trump. I don't care if Barron tells you it's popular with the yutes. It is an evil Communist China op and it is driving women insane.
Dolly Parton tells the story of the supposedly real-life Jolene
As Andrew Branca says, can we see this Jolene, finally? Who was this hottie that was a genuine sexual threat to Dolly Parton? I think this is Fake News personally. When a magician claims he learned a trick from a Himalayan wise man, I don't believe him either.
Peter Cullen, voice actor for Optimus Prime (among many others) dies at home surrounded by family at age 85
RIP and Roll Out!
TJM discusses the career of Mel Brooks and why High Anxiety just isn't as good as Young Frankentsein
Breaking news: Dolly Parton had a real pair of 38s
Or at least one. She carried it everywhere for protection. This joke brought to you by Benny Hill. And speaking of the British: The Buckingham Palace guard tributed her yesterday
Dolly Parton is badgered into saying something negative about Trump's bus-board locker-room talk, but refuses to bow to the media pressure, telling the twink agitator she learned long ago to "keep your damned mouth shut"
What I'm appreciating is that while her surface is soft and sweet, she's got some actual steel a centimeter underneath.
1977 interview shows that Barbara Walters has always been a seaward and Dolly Parton always had "country class"
Walters actually asks Dolly Parton if she knows that people think she's a joke. This because Walters can't get over the fact that a show-woman has 1, big breasts, and 2, dresses a bit outrageously because, get this, she's an entertainer. A stage performer. You know, someone people pay money to see live and expect them to put on a show. She never would attack Liberace for wearing glitter-tuxedos. But she's mad that Dolly Parton makes Barbara Walters look bad through association (by being a woman). Babs, you wish people associated the two of you. Believe me, we can tell the difference.
TJM talks about the films of Ralph Bakshi, director of the animated The Lord of the Rings and ranks them definitively
This Senator Fought Wildfires From Planes. Now He's Fighting Activists and Bureaucrats "senator tim sheehy on the 'unholy alliance' of environmental rules and activism that's preventing firefighters from doing their jobs..."
[Hat Tip: Pete Bog] [CBD]
Dude trolls a city council meeting about permitting yet another mosque by promising the mosque will destroy the Constitution
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