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September 27, 2004
John Kerry's Drinking ProblemDave from Garfield Ridge wants to know what's up with John Kerry sipping at his beer like a kitten at spoiled milk. A different Dave, this one from an Undisclosed Location, points out this series of "candid, spontaneous beer-drinkin' photos with regular guys" and notes, "He takes three “sips” and makes one toast (after which he presumably takes another “sip”), yet the only change in the beer is the head goes away." Oh, well. Sipping at his beer is, I guess, better than chugging the Chivas. Correction: Actually, both Dave from Garfield Ridge and an entirely different Dave -- this Dave from an Undisclosed Location -- tipped me to this. I had thought that both were the same guy. It's getting a little confusing. posted by Ace at 02:01 PM
CommentsI saw the photo. Kerry should note that there are two (2) ways to hold a beer mug. One, wrap your entire hand (four fingers, no thumb) around the handle. Like you're holding a torch, or a spear. Thumb goes into the "slot" between the handle and the hollow "cylinder" that holds the beer. Clench tightly. Method Two, slide your entire hand (four fingers, no thumb) into the "slot." Thumb opposes the palm on the other side of the "cylinder." One does not pick it up like an espresso demitasse and sip. Posted by: bledsoe on September 27, 2004 02:34 PM
He would have done better to: a) Guzzle the whole mug of beer in one long swallow. Cheeseheads will respect no less. Posted by: Monty on September 27, 2004 02:40 PM
Lord knows, I hate to give the man a break, but it could've been worse. At least he didn't stick his pinky out when he picked up the mug. Posted by: Sean M. on September 27, 2004 02:41 PM
PIMF. "bad" = "back" Posted by: Monty on September 27, 2004 02:41 PM
At times like this I feel bad that Dubya got off the sauce. He'd show Kerry how to hold his liquor. Two words: beer bong. Man, would that be great, or what? Cheers, P.S. Thanks for the tip, Ace! Posted by: Dave on September 27, 2004 02:43 PM
I hate to play devil's advocate here but I believe there is a perfectly reasonable and nuanced explanation for J. "F***ing" Kerry's reticence to enthusiastically partake from his tall stein of ice-cold amber lusciousness. Knowing the importance of controlling the symbology elicited from a photo-op, the cerebral Sen. Kerry had to conduct an internal intellectual debate as to what message he wanted to send. Obviously, he wanted to convey that he is just one of the guys. But also, in drinking beer, he also wanted to convey that he is a manly man. However, being of Gaelic descent, he realized that real men only drink stout. So when Sen. Kerry was offered a pale ale, he determined that he would have to settle for the one-of-the-guys symbology only. And with further reasoning, he determined that people of his class don't really drink beer, except at lobster boils, so it was not necessary for him to actually consume the said liquid. After all, most of the bozos in the bar would be so awe struck by his mere presence that they would never even notice that he did not condescend to drink that pisslike swill. Posted by: Bohemian Conservative on September 27, 2004 03:06 PM
I'm guessing it wasn't an imported beer. I wonder if inquired about the availability of any brie? Posted by: Master of None on September 27, 2004 03:24 PM
Hey, Bohemian, Posted by: Sean M. on September 27, 2004 03:39 PM
Dave? Dave's not here. Posted by: Phil on September 27, 2004 04:21 PM
It looks to me like the guy he's sitting next to is drinking a clear liquid. That means it's either water ("no way am I actually having a beer with this piece of crap") or vodka ("I need some way to dull the pain"), and either way Kerry is still a sissy. Posted by: Sobek on September 27, 2004 09:06 PM
Hmmmmm...what about the possibility that he was downing beers like he was Kitty Dukakis and each picture was taken after a fresh one was placed in front of him? Posted by: Jersey Matt on September 28, 2004 10:29 AM
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ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP
If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents. Erika Kirk was present.
Forgotten 70s Mystery Click
You made me cry when you said good-bye 70s, not 50s Now that is a motherflipping intro
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"The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD]
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Tucker Carlson Network Trump's trolling tweet was ill-advised, but Tucker is just lying when he claims the Christianity-hating President of Iran was "offended" by this. He's one step away from announcing his official conversion to Islam. He literally never stops praising Islam. Well, he suddenly became Christian two years ago, there's not much stopping him from converting again. You can track Tuq'r's official conversion to Islam with this Bingo card.
People say that the bearded man in the video of Fartwell molesting a hooker looks like Democrat Arizona Senator Rueben Gallego, said to be Swalwell's "best friend" and known to take vacations with him.
@KFILE 21m So the campaign is collapsing due to the truth of the sexual harassment allegations. That hissing sound you hear is the air going out of the Swalwell campaign. UPDATE: No it wasn't, it was just Swalwell one-cheek-sneaking out a fart on camera Eric Swalwell more like Eric Farewell amirite thanks to weft-cut loop.
This is the dumbest AI bullslop I've seen in a while: the CIA can use "quantum magnetometry" to track an individual man's heartbeat from twelve miles away
I wouldn't click on it, it's not interesting, it's just stupid clickslop. I just want to share my annoyance with you.
Oil prices plunge on bizarre realization that Eric Swalwell may actually be straight. A rapey molester, allegedly, but a straight one.
Classic Rock Mystery Click
This is super-obscure and I only barely remember it. Given that, I'll give you the hint that it's by the Red Rocker. And I guess you think you've got it made Oh, but then, you never were afraid Of anything that you've left behind Oh, but it's alright with me now 'Cause I'll get back up somehow And with a little luck, yes, I'm bound to win Now twenty people will tell me it's not obscure, it was huge in their hometown and played at their prom. That's how it usually goes. When I linked Donnie Iris's "Love is Like a Rock," everyone said they knew that one and that his other song (which I didn't know at all) Ah Leah! was huge in their area. Recent Comments
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