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September 27, 2004
John Kerry's Drinking ProblemDave from Garfield Ridge wants to know what's up with John Kerry sipping at his beer like a kitten at spoiled milk. A different Dave, this one from an Undisclosed Location, points out this series of "candid, spontaneous beer-drinkin' photos with regular guys" and notes, "He takes three “sips” and makes one toast (after which he presumably takes another “sip”), yet the only change in the beer is the head goes away." Oh, well. Sipping at his beer is, I guess, better than chugging the Chivas. Correction: Actually, both Dave from Garfield Ridge and an entirely different Dave -- this Dave from an Undisclosed Location -- tipped me to this. I had thought that both were the same guy. It's getting a little confusing. posted by Ace at 02:01 PM
CommentsI saw the photo. Kerry should note that there are two (2) ways to hold a beer mug. One, wrap your entire hand (four fingers, no thumb) around the handle. Like you're holding a torch, or a spear. Thumb goes into the "slot" between the handle and the hollow "cylinder" that holds the beer. Clench tightly. Method Two, slide your entire hand (four fingers, no thumb) into the "slot." Thumb opposes the palm on the other side of the "cylinder." One does not pick it up like an espresso demitasse and sip. Posted by: bledsoe on September 27, 2004 02:34 PM
He would have done better to: a) Guzzle the whole mug of beer in one long swallow. Cheeseheads will respect no less. Posted by: Monty on September 27, 2004 02:40 PM
Lord knows, I hate to give the man a break, but it could've been worse. At least he didn't stick his pinky out when he picked up the mug. Posted by: Sean M. on September 27, 2004 02:41 PM
PIMF. "bad" = "back" Posted by: Monty on September 27, 2004 02:41 PM
At times like this I feel bad that Dubya got off the sauce. He'd show Kerry how to hold his liquor. Two words: beer bong. Man, would that be great, or what? Cheers, P.S. Thanks for the tip, Ace! Posted by: Dave on September 27, 2004 02:43 PM
I hate to play devil's advocate here but I believe there is a perfectly reasonable and nuanced explanation for J. "F***ing" Kerry's reticence to enthusiastically partake from his tall stein of ice-cold amber lusciousness. Knowing the importance of controlling the symbology elicited from a photo-op, the cerebral Sen. Kerry had to conduct an internal intellectual debate as to what message he wanted to send. Obviously, he wanted to convey that he is just one of the guys. But also, in drinking beer, he also wanted to convey that he is a manly man. However, being of Gaelic descent, he realized that real men only drink stout. So when Sen. Kerry was offered a pale ale, he determined that he would have to settle for the one-of-the-guys symbology only. And with further reasoning, he determined that people of his class don't really drink beer, except at lobster boils, so it was not necessary for him to actually consume the said liquid. After all, most of the bozos in the bar would be so awe struck by his mere presence that they would never even notice that he did not condescend to drink that pisslike swill. Posted by: Bohemian Conservative on September 27, 2004 03:06 PM
I'm guessing it wasn't an imported beer. I wonder if inquired about the availability of any brie? Posted by: Master of None on September 27, 2004 03:24 PM
Hey, Bohemian, Posted by: Sean M. on September 27, 2004 03:39 PM
Dave? Dave's not here. Posted by: Phil on September 27, 2004 04:21 PM
It looks to me like the guy he's sitting next to is drinking a clear liquid. That means it's either water ("no way am I actually having a beer with this piece of crap") or vodka ("I need some way to dull the pain"), and either way Kerry is still a sissy. Posted by: Sobek on September 27, 2004 09:06 PM
Hmmmmm...what about the possibility that he was downing beers like he was Kitty Dukakis and each picture was taken after a fresh one was placed in front of him? Posted by: Jersey Matt on September 28, 2004 10:29 AM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
After threatening that the "clock is ticking" for renewed strikes on Iran, Trump once again calls them off to give negotiating a chance.
I can't even cover this any more. It's embarrassing. It's like covering the endless negotiations over DHS funding. Trump is going to drag this out through the midterms and then lose them. Note to the president: At some point, allowing the Regime to remain in power without actually forcing them to give up nukes is just a back-door, unacknowledged renewal of the Obama policy. Well, I guess we just have to wait for their economy to collapse and their troops to desert.
Mayor Karen is so stung by fan-made AI ads that she's resorting to the shitlibs' go-to demand for an end to criticism -- these ads are "violent" and "hateful" and making me feel unsafe because one video showed AI cartoons throwing tomatoes at me and the tomatoes looked like blood when they squished
This was her actual complaint. The mushed-up tomato looked like blood so it's a death threat and these violent attacks on me must stop. What is dis bitch, CNN?
Few people remember that Norm MacDonald began his career as a ventriloquist
MacDonald's old partner Adam Egot revealed that MacDonald repurposed a bit with one of his ventriloquist dolls -- that he was a "bad guy" who "didn't believe the Holocaust happened" -- for the Norm MacDonald show, in which he claimed Egot didn't believe in the Holocaust. Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?" I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove Chris
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near Somebody else holds your heart, yeah You turn to me with your icy tears And then it's raining, feels like it's raining
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source" Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held. Basil the Great
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.
Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing. Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult. Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending. (((Dan Hodges))) Nick Lowles
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98. Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years. Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45 Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%. I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens. REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs. Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes. Recent Comments
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