| Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support
Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact
Ace:aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries
Wednesday Overnight Open Thread - October 12, 2025 [Anniversarius Rex]
Advanced Pouncing Clinic Cafe Quick Hits Hmm: GOP Senators Snuck a Provision Into the Shutdown Deal Granting Them the Right to Sue Over "Arctic Frost" Invasions of Privacy/Weaponization of Government Analysis: The Transgender Tulip Bubble Has Popped Federal Judge May Sanction Gavin Newsom's Transgender Government For Lying in Legal Filings About California's Determination to Trans Children Behind Their Parents' Backs New Democrat-Media Hoax Drops: Shock Emails Prove Trump Knew Epstein Was Recruiting Underaged Girls! And Knew One of the Victims! Unmentioned: Yes, We Knew He Knew, He Kicked Epstein Out of Mar-a-Lago. And the Victim Absolves Trump. DEI Ding-Dong Kamala Harris: I Campaigned Brilliantly Against Donald Trump and Played a Keen Game of Three Dimensional Chess Against Him (Which, If You're Being Fussy, I Lost) UK PM and Effeminate Pussy Keir Starmer Vows He Will "Fiiiiiight" Any Move to Depose Him Wednesday Morning Rant Absent Friends
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025 Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published.
Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups
TBD |
« "Shouldn't We Be Talking About the Real Issues?" |
Main
| Let Me Get This Straight »
September 23, 2004
FAQ: What is the Deal With the Cowbell?Every once in a while, a new poster asks, "Gee, Ace, I kinda like your site, but what the hell is the deal with the cowbell?" I feel I have to respond, because, as we all know, cowbell is the "real issue" in this presidential campaign. Long story short, cowbell is good. I put the cowbell up for good economic news. You're gonna want that cowbell. All you babies are gonna be wearin' gold-plated diapers if we just have enough cowbell. And yet, some are still perplexed. This is a wonderment to me. I can scarcely begin to imagine that anyone, anywhere does not yet know of the magic of the cowbell. If you want an explanation, here are two. This is the video of the famous SNL cowbell sketch. If that goes down, due to our scary-enormous Ace-o-Lanch effect, then you can content yourselves with transcript/description/ovation to the most awesome sketch ever involving 1) Will Farrell 2) Christopher Walken and 3) a cowbell. The video was found on The Cowbell Chronicles blog. RDBrewer gets a double hat-tip for first pointing this out. The quality of the video is pretty darn good, and it's pretty quick if you've got broadband (10-15 seconds download time). Even if you've got dial-up, trust me, fellas-- you're gonna want that cowbell. If you don't want to download video, you could at least listen to the theme from Simon & Simon, and ponder what the theme -- nay, the show itself -- would be without all that kickin' cowbell. And of course this cowbell-enhanced Christopher Walken rap was redubbed for me by Blaster's Blog. Kinda Related Update: The other big in-joke here involves Mr. Paul Anka. Any time you see some strange reference to "When I move, I slice like a fucking hammer," or "Vinny Falcone," or "integrity" versus "loose shit," that's all from this howlingly funny audio of Mr. Paul Anka cursing the life out of his band for five minutes or so, occasionally breaking to ask Zen-like questions like "Do you like your jobs? Do you want to keep your fucking jobs? Well do you?" It's not exactly work-safe, but it's almost worth risking getting fired over. And if you think it's pretty funny to hear Mr. Paul Anka tell his band "don't make a fucking maniac out of me," then you might want to check the additional material listed in the Almost Complete Paul Anka Archives, also found in the sidebar. posted by Ace at 02:32 AM
CommentsPretty self-explanitory to me. Posted by: Moonbat_One on September 23, 2004 02:44 AM
I would pay money to hear Van Morrison sing the phone book, Christoher Walken read the want ads (schooge closer children - okay that was Jay Moore but you know what I mean) and the Ace rip Dan and cohorts a new one. More Cow Bell! Posted by: Skinny Benny on September 23, 2004 02:53 AM
Mr. Paul Anka played the dinner theater a block from my pad a little while back. They get quality entertainment like him and Tony Orlando all the time. Posted by: Joe R. the Unabrewer on September 23, 2004 03:04 AM
Saddam HATE cowbell. BOOOSH is criminal! Posted by: fat.elvis on September 23, 2004 03:11 AM
I got a fever and the only prescription is more whiskey. Posted by: fat.elvis on September 23, 2004 03:14 AM
Koran say scotch is for true kool-aid drinkers. And Kofi Annan. Posted by: fat.elvis on September 23, 2004 03:17 AM
For anyone that wasn't around during the "Paul Anka Integrity Kick" you are doing yourself a huge injustice by not going back and reading everything you can about it. Make sure you listen to the audio at least 20 or 30 times. No, it does not get old. Tell your friends about it. You haven't lived until you get a drunken voicemail at 4 am from one of your buddies (pissed off because you are in bed and they are still going strong) yelling about the guys getting shirts and threatening to come to your house and slice like a fucking hammer. Posted by: Jersey Matt on September 23, 2004 10:55 AM
Is there that much new traffic coming in that you need a FAQ every other day? :) If so, damn I'm glad to be gettin some link love - hah. Posted by: fat kid on September 23, 2004 11:35 AM
Man, Scotty at the Cowbell Chronicles has a major spambot infestation! Posted by: Nathan on September 23, 2004 12:13 PM
You forgot one other Mr. Paul Anka inside joke reference: "Where's Joe?" Loose shit, Ace. Posted by: Brian B on September 23, 2004 12:47 PM
Brian makes a good point. Posted by: Jersey Matt on September 23, 2004 01:20 PM
Dammit Brian! Don't you know that the guys get shirts??? Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on September 23, 2004 04:48 PM
I thought... Posted by: Brian B on September 23, 2004 05:24 PM
Answer for the humor-impaired: It's his schtick, baby. And Ace? I've got a fever. And the only prescription is MORE COWBELL! (So I don't get lambasted: The guys get fucking small goofy shirts that ride up when you play that cowbell with passion!) Posted by: Margi on September 23, 2004 07:45 PM
Post a comment
| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Live voting in the House to end the shutdown.
I don't know if this is a preliminary procedural vote or what.
I can't tell you the rules of three-dimensional chess but I can tell you the rules of hexagonal chess
Yes it's real This is too nerdy, even for this blog.
Our Favorite British Couple Exploring True America Experiences Flora-Bama And Sees A Side Of The Deep South Rarely Seen. [dri]
Oh no! Hamas' de facto press agent at the UN complains that she can't use her credit cards or rent a card now that she's been sanctioned as a terrorist operative
Why does this keep happening to members of the "political organization" (per Tucker Carlson) of Hamas?!?!
Tucker Carlson claims that it's weird that Ted Cruz is interested in the massacre of Christians by Nigerian Muslims, because he has "no track record of being interested in Christians," then blows off the massacre of Christians by Nigerian Muslims, saying it might or might not be a real concern
Tucker Carlson enjoys using the left-wing tactic of "Tactical Ignorance" to avoid taking positions on topics. Is Hamas really a terrorist organization? Tucker can't say. He hasn't looked into it enough, but "it seems like a political organization to me." Are Muslims slaughtering Christians in Nigeria? Again, Tucker just doesn't know. He hasn't examined the evidence yet. He knows every Palestinian Christian who said he was blocked from visiting holy sites in Bethlehem, but he just hasn't had the time to look into the mass slaughter of Christians in Nigeria that has been going on since (checks watch) 2009. He doesn't know, so he can't offer an opinion. Wouldn't be prudent, you know? Don't rush him! He'll sift through the evidence at some point in the future and render an opinion sometime around 2044. Of course, if you need an opinion on Jewish Perfidy, he has all the facts at his fingertips and can give you a fully informed opinion pronto. Say, have you ever heard of the USS Liberty incident...? You'd think that the main issue for Tucker Carlson, who pretends to be so deeply concerned about Palestinian Christians being bullied by Jews in Israel (supposedly), would be the massacre of 185,000 Christians in Nigeria itself. But no, his main problem is that Ted Cruz is talking about it, "who has no track record of being interested in Christians at all." And then he just shrugs as to whether this is even a real issue or not. Whatever we do we must never "divide the right," huh? Tucker is attacking Ted Cruz for bringing the issue up because he's acting as an apologist for Jihadism, and he can't cleanly admit that Jihadists are killing any Christians, anywhere. There is no daylight between him and CAIR at this point. One might conclude that Tucker Carlson himself isn't interested in the plight of Christians -- except as they can be used as a cudgel to attack Jews. Just gonna ask an Interesting Question myself -- why is it that Tucker Carlson's arguments all track with those shit out by Qatarian propaganda agents and the far left? That if Jews crush an ant underfoot it is worldwide news, but when Muslims slaughter Christians it elicits not even a vigorous shrug?
Garth Merenghi is interviewed by the only man who can fathom his ineffable brilliance -- Garth Merenghi
From the comments: I once glimpsed Garth in the penumbra betwixt my wake and sleep. He was in my dream, standing afar, not looking my way, nor did he acknowledge me. But I felt seen. And that's when I knew I was a traveler on the right path. I'm glad he's still with us. Now that's some Merenghian prose. Garth Merenghi on the writer's craft Greetings, Traveler. If you still have not experienced Garth Merenghi -- Author, Dream-weaver, Visionary, plus Actor -- the six episodes of his Darkplace are still available on YouTube and supposedly upscaled to HD. (Viewing it now, it doesn't appeared upscaled for shit.) I think the second episode, "Hell Hath Fury," is the best by a good margin. Try to at least watch through to that one. It's Mereghi's incisive but nuanced take on sexism.
Update on Scott Adams:
Scott Adams had approval for this cancer drug but they hadn't scheduled him to get it. He was taking a turn for the worse. Trump had told him to call if he needed anything, so he did. Talked to Don Jr (who is in Africa) , then RFK Jr, then Dr Oz. Someone talked to Kaiser and he was scheduled. Shouldn't have needed it but he did and he says it saved his life.
Funny retro kid costumes, thanks to SMH
Good to see people honoring Lamont the Big Dummy
Four hours of retro Halloween commercials and specials
The first short is the original 1996 appearance of "Sam," the dangerous undead trick-or-treater from Trick r' Treat.
ICYMI: Australian journalist actually presses Kamala Harris when she repeatedly dodges questions about Biden's mental fitness
Kamala admits she didn't have the stamina to run for president, while continuing to insist he had the mental capacity to serve as president. He was too frail to run but perfectly strong enough to govern. Yeah sure whatever lying whore.
On Wednesday, we'll see the "Beaver Super-Moon." Which sounds hot.
Full Episode: The Hardy Boys (and Nancy Drew) Meet Dracula
I don't remember this show, except for remembering that Nancy Drew was hot and the opening credits were foreboding and exicting
According to Grok, Latrine John-Pissoir has never failed to mention she is "black" (or "queer") during her book interviews
She may not know what the hell her book is about, but she definitely knows that "every day I wake up black and queer." Join the club, sister! Recent Comments
Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd:
"Abortion was illegal long before the 19th Amendmen ..."
Anna Puma: "Pg 2-3 had this cryptic passage: [i]Some infant ..." Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd: "At DM: "Hilaria Baldwin, 41, reveals she and husba ..." Disinterested FDA Director: "The laws that Roe struck down were actually the fi ..." RickZ: "One gauge is whether they actually got radio play. ..." Alberta Oil Peon: "Perry Mason had a pretty memorable musical theme, ..." BarelyScaryMary : "Pan seared catfish is pretty good. ..." four seasons: " Fried catfish is my favorite thing to eat. Don' ..." Piper: "346 Came home to red beans and rice from my Cajun ..." Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd: "Women who choose to kill their children by abortio ..." Jackson: "284 273 Best TV show themes: 1. MIAMI VICE 2 ..." steevy: "I did notice our warships no longer look like rust ..." Bloggers in Arms
RI Red's Blog! Behind The Black CutJibNewsletter The Pipeline Second City Cop Talk Of The Town with Steve Noxon Belmont Club Chicago Boyz Cold Fury Da Goddess Daily Pundit Dawn Eden Day by Day (Cartoon) EduWonk Enter Stage Right The Epoch Times Grim's Hall Victor Davis Hanson Hugh Hewitt IMAO Instapundit JihadWatch Kausfiles Lileks/The Bleat Memeorandum (Metablog) Outside the Beltway Patterico's Pontifications The People's Cube Powerline RedState Reliapundit Viking Pundit WizBang Some Humorous Asides
Kaboom!
Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
|