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September 23, 2004

FAQ: What is the Deal With the Cowbell?

Every once in a while, a new poster asks, "Gee, Ace, I kinda like your site, but what the hell is the deal with the cowbell?"

I feel I have to respond, because, as we all know, cowbell is the "real issue" in this presidential campaign.

Long story short, cowbell is good. I put the cowbell up for good economic news.

You're gonna want that cowbell. All you babies are gonna be wearin' gold-plated diapers if we just have enough cowbell.

And yet, some are still perplexed. This is a wonderment to me. I can scarcely begin to imagine that anyone, anywhere does not yet know of the magic of the cowbell.

If you want an explanation, here are two.

This is the video of the famous SNL cowbell sketch.

If that goes down, due to our scary-enormous Ace-o-Lanch effect, then you can content yourselves with transcript/description/ovation to the most awesome sketch ever involving 1) Will Farrell 2) Christopher Walken and 3) a cowbell.

The video was found on The Cowbell Chronicles blog. RDBrewer gets a double hat-tip for first pointing this out.

The quality of the video is pretty darn good, and it's pretty quick if you've got broadband (10-15 seconds download time).

Even if you've got dial-up, trust me, fellas-- you're gonna want that cowbell.

If you don't want to download video, you could at least listen to the theme from Simon & Simon, and ponder what the theme -- nay, the show itself -- would be without all that kickin' cowbell.

And of course this cowbell-enhanced Christopher Walken rap was redubbed for me by Blaster's Blog.

Kinda Related Update: The other big in-joke here involves Mr. Paul Anka. Any time you see some strange reference to "When I move, I slice like a fucking hammer," or "Vinny Falcone," or "integrity" versus "loose shit," that's all from this howlingly funny audio of Mr. Paul Anka cursing the life out of his band for five minutes or so, occasionally breaking to ask Zen-like questions like "Do you like your jobs? Do you want to keep your fucking jobs? Well do you?"

It's not exactly work-safe, but it's almost worth risking getting fired over.

And if you think it's pretty funny to hear Mr. Paul Anka tell his band "don't make a fucking maniac out of me," then you might want to check the additional material listed in the Almost Complete Paul Anka Archives, also found in the sidebar.

posted by Ace at 02:32 AM

Comments

Pretty self-explanitory to me.

Posted by: Moonbat_One on September 23, 2004 02:44 AM

I would pay money to hear Van Morrison sing the phone book, Christoher Walken read the want ads (schooge closer children - okay that was Jay Moore but you know what I mean) and the Ace rip Dan and cohorts a new one.

More Cow Bell!

Posted by: Skinny Benny on September 23, 2004 02:53 AM

Mr. Paul Anka played the dinner theater a block from my pad a little while back. They get quality entertainment like him and Tony Orlando all the time.

Posted by: Joe R. the Unabrewer on September 23, 2004 03:04 AM

Saddam HATE cowbell. BOOOSH is criminal!

Posted by: fat.elvis on September 23, 2004 03:11 AM

I got a fever and the only prescription is more whiskey.
Allah be praised.

Posted by: fat.elvis on September 23, 2004 03:14 AM

Koran say scotch is for true kool-aid drinkers. And Kofi Annan.
Praise be too Allah and his cocktail peanuts.
http://www.nypost.com/news/worldnews/28804.htm

Posted by: fat.elvis on September 23, 2004 03:17 AM

For anyone that wasn't around during the "Paul Anka Integrity Kick" you are doing yourself a huge injustice by not going back and reading everything you can about it. Make sure you listen to the audio at least 20 or 30 times. No, it does not get old. Tell your friends about it. You haven't lived until you get a drunken voicemail at 4 am from one of your buddies (pissed off because you are in bed and they are still going strong) yelling about the guys getting shirts and threatening to come to your house and slice like a fucking hammer.

Posted by: Jersey Matt on September 23, 2004 10:55 AM

Is there that much new traffic coming in that you need a FAQ every other day? :) If so, damn I'm glad to be gettin some link love - hah.

Posted by: fat kid on September 23, 2004 11:35 AM

Man, Scotty at the Cowbell Chronicles has a major spambot infestation!

Posted by: Nathan on September 23, 2004 12:13 PM

You forgot one other Mr. Paul Anka inside joke reference: "Where's Joe?"

Loose shit, Ace.

Posted by: Brian B on September 23, 2004 12:47 PM

Brian makes a good point.
You're on fucking notice, Ace.

Posted by: Jersey Matt on September 23, 2004 01:20 PM

Dammit Brian! Don't you know that the guys get shirts???

Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on September 23, 2004 04:48 PM

I thought...

Posted by: Brian B on September 23, 2004 05:24 PM

Answer for the humor-impaired: It's his schtick, baby.

And Ace? I've got a fever. And the only prescription is MORE COWBELL!

(So I don't get lambasted: The guys get fucking small goofy shirts that ride up when you play that cowbell with passion!)

Posted by: Margi on September 23, 2004 07:45 PM