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« The Clip Show: The Best of Ace of Spades HQ | Main | Another Best of Top Ten »
September 17, 2004

A Best of Top Ten

Some people don't like potatoes much at all.

And then some people despise potatoes so passionately they malign them in the most venomous, hateful terms. An entire "subculture of hate" has sprung up in opposition to the innocent, humble tater. Committed "tater-haters" spread their venom in order to undermine what they call "the Spud Agenda."

Top Ten Disparaging Terms for Potatoes, By People Who Really, Really Hate Potatoes

10. "The Irish Scourge"

9. "The Predatory Pedophiles of the Plant Kingdom"

8. "Idaho turdmuffins"

7. "Hitler-tubers" (archaic form: "Kaiser-tubers")

6. "Satan's Yams"

5. "Dirt-Testes"

4. "Insidious, Godless Commuspuds"

3. "Nature's Little Zionists"

2. "Dirtbacks" (considered a racial slur against potatoes)

…and the Number One Disparaging Term for Potatoes, by People Who Really, Really Hate Potatoes…

1. "Retard-apples"


Update: For those who wanted a Top 10 Bush-Apology List, Protein Wisdom has stepped up and provided the leadership this country needs.

Unfortunately for us, he drops a Billy Squier reference, which really steams our beans because we now realize how desperately we wanted to make such a reference ourselves. On the plus side, he links Billy's site, and if you follow that link you get to hear some snippets of a couple of Billy Squier's songs. But not, alas, "In the Dark."

Damn. We forgot how much we love Billy Squier.


posted by Ace at 04:21 AM
Comments



What about Stroke Me or My Kind of Lover?

God i am getting old.

Going look for my Greatest Hits CD!

Posted by: Jennifer on September 17, 2004 09:58 AM

Just when I was in the mood for potato jokes...thanks dude.

Posted by: Jane on September 17, 2004 10:08 AM

This is great, the website. I just watched a clip of In the Dark and I am not singing Rock Me Tonight. haha

Damn shame the eighties are over in this sense. Music isn't fun anymore. I mean really, did even one single Billy Squire song make sense? NO, but that was the point.

It brings back memories of Roller Skating and the smell of Lip Smackers roll on strawberry lip gloss!

Ok, I am going to come back to reality now, but thanks for the trip back!

Posted by: Jennifer on September 17, 2004 10:08 AM

I keep meaning to pick up Billy Squier's best of.

I'll grab it this weekend. I need to hear In the Dark and Everybody Wants You.

Posted by: ace on September 17, 2004 04:02 PM
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