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« Bush's Temporary Rally | Main | Demoralized Democrats »
September 04, 2004

Tentative: LAX "Explosion" Not Terrorism

That's what my "sources" (people on my television screen) seem to think. The explosion seems to have involved corroded flashlight batteries.


posted by Ace at 03:22 PM
Comments



Sure. Happens all the time. Lost both my arms to mag-lite eruptions. Have to type with my feet now. And my granddad, thought he heard a drunk bear one night in the woods, turned on the flashlight and BOOM took his head right off. The bear's, fortunately. Granddad just went deaf and peed his overalls.

In fact, in light of my experiences I founded Flashlight Control USA to stop this terrible epidemic of flashlight-related injuries around the world. Had Princess Di on board for a while, and then she went into that tunnel in Paris, and it was dark, and she was looking for her makeup compact under the seat when she turned on the flashlight...(sniff) I can't go on.

Three injuries, huh? And they're "treating it as a chemical hazard".

Riiiight.

Check Allah's updates. This story is screwy.

Posted by: See Dubya on September 4, 2004 04:40 PM

You may be right, but shit happens.

Posted by: ace on September 4, 2004 05:14 PM

Oh now it's eight injuries. And there's a link in Allah's comments to the CDC site about this records exactly two similar explosions in history, one in 1992 and one in 1995, one of which went of in a fireman's pocket but did not injure him.

This one went off when a security guard touched it. And they're holding a suspicious guy and shutting down all roads into LAX.

Just a flashlight.

You're right, Ace, shit happens and sometimes the Syrian musicians are just Syrian musicians. But nothing exploded then.

Posted by: See-Dubya on September 4, 2004 05:59 PM
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