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September 02, 2004
Mad Jealousy AlertBut I too have some good news to report! I am pleased to announce that Ace of Spades will be signing autographs outside the Arby's at the New Jersey Turnpike rest area in Perth Amboy, at least until they compel me to leave their premises and/or I'm arrested for loitering. At some point, that crazy blog-money I've been dreaming about has got to kick in. Doesn't it? Doesn't it?!?! I'm horrified, appalled, outraged, sickened, filled with "heart-ache" and utterly "gob-smacked" at the vile realization that I am not yet a celebrity. Not even on MSNBC. For crying out loud. Put me on at eight with just the site's readers for an audience and I'd start out with half of Keith Olbermann's ratings. posted by Ace at 04:36 PM
CommentsI feel like I've just had my gob smacked. Posted by: Ken J on September 2, 2004 04:43 PM
Thanks for reminding me about "gob-smacked." I stuck it in there. Posted by: ace on September 2, 2004 04:46 PM
LOL. Posted by: Donnah on September 2, 2004 05:12 PM
Ace-- Put a proposal together for *CNBC*. . . "McEnroe" only gets something like 37,000 viewers, and he's getting a million dollars. I repeat: John McEnroe is paid one million dollars interview Elton John before an audience of 37,000 people. Ace of Spades Television can get 37,000 people just to watch Bob Dole's *cock*. Flaccid, even. Of course, that may not meet CNBC's high standards of programming, so you may have to adjust. But c'mon, if you have to Lebensraum some cable TV space, take McEnroe's spot, and set the world aflame. Cheers, P.S. I'd love to call my new blog "Like a Viking," but it would just be so awkward explaining that to people who don't understand the primal joy of barbarian-inspired anal rape. "Garfield Ridge" was much more stately, like Wayne Manor. (BTW, I have to change the color on my banner-- I already had one person ask me whether the orange banner alluded to Garfield THE CAT. Jesus Christmas. . . it's the neighborhood I grew up in Chicago, not a salute to a lasagna-snarfing pussy). Posted by: Dave on September 2, 2004 05:18 PM
a salute to a lasagna-snarfing pussy Now *that* is something I'd pay ten bucks to see! Posted by: Smack on September 2, 2004 05:34 PM
Ace of Spades TV? Given my exalted status (as a Senator and all) I want to be on the AOSTV "Panel of All Stars". Just think: Me, Johnny Coldcuts, Paul Anka, Geoffrey the Duck, and Smitty, all moderated by Ace. Truly, must see TV. Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on September 2, 2004 06:03 PM
Ace ... since I read you every day, I would certainly drive to an Arby's to get your autograph ... w/in an hour's drive, of course. Posted by: Carin on September 2, 2004 08:15 PM
Just think: Me, Johnny Coldcuts, Paul Anka, Geoffrey the Duck, and Smitty, all moderated by Ace. Don't forget Senator: after the show, we'll all head down to the red light district and pick us up some fine chicas. I'll bet your senatorial influence could work wonders! Posted by: Geoffrey the Duck on September 3, 2004 12:25 AM
I would watch... Way better than Matthews or Olberman... Posted by: madmark on September 3, 2004 09:49 AM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Democrat Congresswoman Sara Jacobs cites Me-Again Kelly, Cavernous Nostrils, Alex Jones and Tuq'r Qarlson as proof that concerns about Trump's mental health are "bipartisan"
As Bonchie from Red State says: Know the op when you see it.
Leftists who have been drawing Frankendistricts for decades are suddenly upset about Republican line-drawing
Socialist usurper Obama cut commercials urging Virginians to vote for the bizarre "lobster" gerrymander -- but now says gerrymanders are so racist you guys Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.
Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat
And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain
ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP
If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents. Erika Kirk was present.
Forgotten 70s Mystery Click
You made me cry when you said good-bye 70s, not 50s Now that is a motherflipping intro
NYT Melts Down Over Texas Rangers Statue Outside... Texas Rangers' Stadium
"The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD]
Important Message from Recent Convert to Christianity and Yet Super-Serious Christian Tuq'r Qarlson: Actually Muslims love Jesus, it's Trump and his neocons who hate him
Tucker Carlson Network Trump's trolling tweet was ill-advised, but Tucker is just lying when he claims the Christianity-hating President of Iran was "offended" by this. He's one step away from announcing his official conversion to Islam. He literally never stops praising Islam. Well, he suddenly became Christian two years ago, there's not much stopping him from converting again. You can track Tuq'r's official conversion to Islam with this Bingo card.
People say that the bearded man in the video of Fartwell molesting a hooker looks like Democrat Arizona Senator Rueben Gallego, said to be Swalwell's "best friend" and known to take vacations with him.
@KFILE 21m So the campaign is collapsing due to the truth of the sexual harassment allegations. That hissing sound you hear is the air going out of the Swalwell campaign. UPDATE: No it wasn't, it was just Swalwell one-cheek-sneaking out a fart on camera Eric Swalwell more like Eric Farewell amirite thanks to weft-cut loop.
This is the dumbest AI bullslop I've seen in a while: the CIA can use "quantum magnetometry" to track an individual man's heartbeat from twelve miles away
I wouldn't click on it, it's not interesting, it's just stupid clickslop. I just want to share my annoyance with you. Recent Comments
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