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September 02, 2004
Mad Jealousy AlertBut I too have some good news to report! I am pleased to announce that Ace of Spades will be signing autographs outside the Arby's at the New Jersey Turnpike rest area in Perth Amboy, at least until they compel me to leave their premises and/or I'm arrested for loitering. At some point, that crazy blog-money I've been dreaming about has got to kick in. Doesn't it? Doesn't it?!?! I'm horrified, appalled, outraged, sickened, filled with "heart-ache" and utterly "gob-smacked" at the vile realization that I am not yet a celebrity. Not even on MSNBC. For crying out loud. Put me on at eight with just the site's readers for an audience and I'd start out with half of Keith Olbermann's ratings. posted by Ace at 04:36 PM
CommentsI feel like I've just had my gob smacked. Posted by: Ken J on September 2, 2004 04:43 PM
Thanks for reminding me about "gob-smacked." I stuck it in there. Posted by: ace on September 2, 2004 04:46 PM
LOL. Posted by: Donnah on September 2, 2004 05:12 PM
Ace-- Put a proposal together for *CNBC*. . . "McEnroe" only gets something like 37,000 viewers, and he's getting a million dollars. I repeat: John McEnroe is paid one million dollars interview Elton John before an audience of 37,000 people. Ace of Spades Television can get 37,000 people just to watch Bob Dole's *cock*. Flaccid, even. Of course, that may not meet CNBC's high standards of programming, so you may have to adjust. But c'mon, if you have to Lebensraum some cable TV space, take McEnroe's spot, and set the world aflame. Cheers, P.S. I'd love to call my new blog "Like a Viking," but it would just be so awkward explaining that to people who don't understand the primal joy of barbarian-inspired anal rape. "Garfield Ridge" was much more stately, like Wayne Manor. (BTW, I have to change the color on my banner-- I already had one person ask me whether the orange banner alluded to Garfield THE CAT. Jesus Christmas. . . it's the neighborhood I grew up in Chicago, not a salute to a lasagna-snarfing pussy). Posted by: Dave on September 2, 2004 05:18 PM
a salute to a lasagna-snarfing pussy Now *that* is something I'd pay ten bucks to see! Posted by: Smack on September 2, 2004 05:34 PM
Ace of Spades TV? Given my exalted status (as a Senator and all) I want to be on the AOSTV "Panel of All Stars". Just think: Me, Johnny Coldcuts, Paul Anka, Geoffrey the Duck, and Smitty, all moderated by Ace. Truly, must see TV. Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on September 2, 2004 06:03 PM
Ace ... since I read you every day, I would certainly drive to an Arby's to get your autograph ... w/in an hour's drive, of course. Posted by: Carin on September 2, 2004 08:15 PM
Just think: Me, Johnny Coldcuts, Paul Anka, Geoffrey the Duck, and Smitty, all moderated by Ace. Don't forget Senator: after the show, we'll all head down to the red light district and pick us up some fine chicas. I'll bet your senatorial influence could work wonders! Posted by: Geoffrey the Duck on September 3, 2004 12:25 AM
I would watch... Way better than Matthews or Olberman... Posted by: madmark on September 3, 2004 09:49 AM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Trump will present the trophy for the World Cup, and lunatic cultists will not be happy
pRiDe Month's shameful record so far
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Update to Gavin Newsom Under Investigation story: This investigation was begun under Senor Dementia:
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Teen Driver Tayvin Galanakis Wins Jury Trial Against Officers Who Charged Him With DUI Even After He Blew 0.0 on A Breathalyzer And Passed Sobriety Tests. One Officer Accounted For 72% of All DUI Arrests For That PD [dri]
Days before the woman was stabbed in the neck by a taxpayer-supported Cultural Enrichment Officer, in the same general area, another taxpayer-supported Cultural Enrichment Officer attacked a boy and bloodied his head with a brick.
What is the UK Regime's plan for protecting the citizens from the savage criminals they've foisted on the populace? They offer NONE. They do, however, have a plan for protecting the savage criminals from the citizens: The citizens must STAY CALM and not get angry and not share videos of citizens being attacked by savage criminals. The public keeps saying "protect us from the foreign savages you have imported against our wishes and over our objections" and the UK branch of The Regime keeps proposing plans to protect the foreign savages from the public. Soclose to what the public is demanding, just, you know, the complete opposite. Just a thought: Maybe you wouldn't have to worry about the public attacking the savage criminals if you actually introduced a plan to protect the public from the savage criminals. Maybe they wouldn't feel as if it was necessary for them to protect the public through self-help.
Courtney Subramiam, one of the "journalists" who "previewed" her questions for the decrepit and demented Biden so that he could "answer" it with a pre-scripted response, rewarded by promotion to president of the White House Press Corps
Bonchie You know what's really terrible? There are Daily Signal reporters in the press room. That's the Real Scandal Here! Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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