Frogistan is in decline. It warms my heart.

The ex-soviet bloc members of the EU are getting slow revenge on them.

It will be complete when Chirac begs them for some contracts, and someone, ohhh Poland maybe, replies "Now would be a good time for you to shut the fuck up."

Fuck France

It is a poor showing for a country that has always regarded the commission as a branch of its own civil service.

Now *that* is a revealing statement. As much B.S. as internationalists spread about the Brotherhood of Man and "one world," it's still all the same old nationalism. They just don't have the power to assert themselves militarily any longer so they settle for bureaucratic bitch-slapping contests in the E.U.

Schadenfreude, almost feels better than sex.

Pointing out when other nations miss a good chance to shut-up didn't win France any friends?

HOW TO COOK A FRENCHMAN

First you must catch one of the greasy rascals and this can be harder than it sounds. Your average Frenchie is extremely cagey, wiry, and wily as he has many years of experience in escaping, running and hiding. From dodging jealous husbands to slipping out on checks, the Frenchman is without rival! In fact the Frenchies are experts at hiding from the many years of doing so ever since Napoleon schitt his shorts at Waterloo. As a nation, they are so accustomed to this activity that they have attempted to hide behind a wall even in modern warfare. The Frenchman refuses to be pinned down .....not physically .....nor verbally ......and certainly not politically. Therefore, you must work with a team. Arm 4 or 5 man with with nets, bags, and clubs and have them cover all exits and sides, while you go into a bordello with a bar of soap to flush out your prey. When he smells the Lysol coming after his ass, he will hightail it out the closest window faster than the speed of sound. At the first sighting of the unwashed, the sighter must call out for aid while throwing his net. As the team converges on the slippery frog, they must throw their nets as well to prevent him from his habit of weaseling out. Now, while the frog thrashes, you must tie a bag over his head and cram one in his venomous mouth, lest you be forced to continue to endure his insulting and pitiful cries. Repeated clubbing of the Frenchman at this point is highly recommended for relieving stress in the hunters and for tenderizing the frog's meat as otherwise it tends to be rather stringy. Cleaning and dressing a dead Frenchman is much easier than with a live one as he will not struggle during cleaning and you won't have any arguments during the dressing. Removing the guts from a Frenchie is also an easy procedure as he has very few and is neccessary for removing the LARGE gland that produces so much bile throughout his natural life. After butchering, you should soak your frog in salt water for 24 hours to remove excess dirt, alcohol, perfume, and cosmetics as well as for adding some normal flavor to the meat. Before roasting rub you Frenchie down with garlic, beat him with a bundle of herbs, and truss him up like a hog. At this point he should look and smell much as he did just before you scared him out of the whorehouse, only appetizing. Place your frog on a wire mesh large enough to wrap around him, after covering the mesh with leeks, mustard leaves, calf's ears, snails, whole carrots, and multicolored peppercorns. Arrange embers around the edges of a firepit about the size of a queensize bed in piles about 8 inches deep and place a large drip pan in the center. Your Frenchman will be ready for the table when his tongue falls out - BELIEVE ME YOU NEVER WANT TO BRING A FRENCHMAN TO YOUR TABLE WITH A FUNCTIONAL TONGUE - you would be lucky to live to regret it! Baste the Frenchie with wine frequently during cooking or he will shrivel away to nothing; reserve the juices in the drip pan to make a reduction sauce by adding brandy and more red wine, plenty of butter and reducing over medium heat to halve the volume of the reserved juices. It is essential to serve your Frenchman with a wine sauce to prevent the meat from leaping off the plate. Garnish each plate with a beret and a pack of cigarettes to complete your presentation. Encourage your guests to curse during the meal and wash it down with more wine than you can handle.

Bon apetite!