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August 25, 2004

Bob "Blaze" Dole Conflagration Update

STATUS: Remains En Fuego
PROGNOSIS: Poor. The raging fires consuming this poor man show no sign of abatement.

It's about time someone said it:

Joe Scarborough: Now I want to ask, you've been through one of these presidential campaigns. You know what it's like on the campaign trail. Are you surprised, as a guy who is a war hero, that John Kerry's war record is playing such a central role in this presidential campaign this year?

Bobby "Blaze" Dole: Well, I am a little surprised because I remember in '96, of course, Clinton didn't have a record and the liberal media didn't want to say much about my record. So it never really became - you know, I guess the New York Times may have said I was a veteran; that's about as far as they went.

So this time you've got a candidate named John Kerry who had a good record in Vietnam, came back from the service, denounced the war, in effect, trashed the Americans who were still fighting there. Went before a Senate committee in April of 1971, threw away his ribbons or his medals or whatever and now is standing before the American people and saying you've got to elect me because I'm this Vietnam hero.

And it's kind of hard to reconcile all of these things. So it does sort of bring up focus that I don't think we've had in the past.

posted by Ace at 07:24 PM

Comments

Forget any talk of this loose "Slicing" shit. Hammers tremble in fucking FEAR of this man!!!!!

Posted by: Brian B on August 25, 2004 07:47 PM

I get a mental image of B.D. Slam bouncing a basketball of Kerry's forehead. "Going to cry, Johnny?" "Gonna squirt a few?"

Posted by: Alex on August 25, 2004 08:03 PM

He's gonna ram a pencil in your neck when he finds out you called him "Bobby."

Posted by: Joe R. on August 25, 2004 08:05 PM

Does Dole have "Love" tattooed on the knuckles of one hand and "Hate" on the knuckles of the other?

Posted by: Brian B on August 25, 2004 08:14 PM

Is Bob Dole gonna have to choke a bitch?

Posted by: Charles on August 25, 2004 08:42 PM

Bob Dole hears a bunch of tough guys hang out on this "blog."

Paul Anka, Michael Ansana, Johnny Coldcuts--the last is a sandwich, I suppose.

Ansana's older than me...guess I'm giving away a few years to the other guys, but whatever. Any of 'em wants a piece of Bob Dole, here I am.

Beat the shit out of Max Clelland on my way over. Didn't break a sweat. Liddy was impressed...said maybe tonight tricky Dick would be getting to the bottom of Deep Throat.

Liddy knows Bob Dole loves Nixon-themed dirty talk better'n Viagra.

Posted by: Bob Dole on August 25, 2004 09:28 PM

I am watching Bob Dole on Scarborough, and to say that he is on fire is an understatement. He deserves another top-10.

Even got in a shot about Kerry supporting the Sandinistas when Reagan was trying to bring freedom there. Just a devastating interview.

Posted by: Mark on August 25, 2004 10:21 PM

It's really sad is what it is. Dole is all but out-right saying that he didn't run on his war record in 96. That is patently a load of crap. I had a small amount of respect for Dole, but it is diminishing. Truth is, he always maintained a slim veneer of bipartisanship, but now and then, I recollect, he could be counted on to hurl a bomb or two out of left field when you weren't expecting it.

Back to the fact that now he is a liar -- Its possible that most of this crowd was just potty-training at the time, but in 96 I vividly recall Dole's campaign commercials showing him lying in a bed in a Veteran's hospital recuperating from his battle wounds. For him to say that he didn't run on his record as a soldier is a lie. Pure and simple. Go ahead with your frothing denials and spin away... but pull yourselves together in time to go to the 'back-to-school' sales with your mommies.

Posted by: Puddin' Tane on August 25, 2004 11:54 PM

Puddin' Tane:

thanks for our evening dose of condescension. Yeah, I was potty-training back in '96: but I was 17 at the time so I had a lot of "problems." But, I digress.

If you are honestly trying to compare "Reporting for duty" to Dole's admittedly anemic campaign then I have no time for you.

Better yet, let's assume for the sake of argument that Bob Dole beat his war record to death as much as Kerry is now. Kerry's four month tour doesn't match up to any member of the "greatest generation." I'd argue that Dole is a lot more entitled to the ad nauseum war theme b/c of his injuries. He lost usage of his right arm: while many of his contemporaries lost their lives. As such, he honored them with service in the U.S. Senate that supported our troops. Bipartisanship (i.e. compromising with the likes of John Kerry) didn't always accomplish that.

How did John Kerry honor his contemporaries who paid a steeper price? By pissing on their graves/wounds and scurrying off to Yale Law School. He has reached the pinnacle of arrogance by thinking he could engage in his bullshit 'I'm the consummate hero' rhetoric insulated from criticism for his exagerrations.

Posted by: Charles on August 26, 2004 12:29 AM

The question isn't just whether Bob Dole attempted to run partly on his war record. Of course he did; and unlike John Kerry, he never got an early ticket home, and he was grievously wounded defending our country.

The question is whether the media amplified Bob Dole's mentions of his war record, and of course they did not. They treated his war hero status as a quaint reminder of a distant age, wholly irrelevant to the quest for the Presidency.

Bob Dole's media appellation in 1996 was "Senator." John Kerry's media appellation in 2004 is "War Hero."

The media only seems interested in the issue of military service when a Democrat has more of it than his opponent.

When a Republican war hero runs against a draft-dodger, as in 1992 and 1996, the media downplays that whole irrelevant military service issue.

Posted by: ace on August 26, 2004 12:44 AM

Kerry graduated from Boston College law school. Yale? Come on guys, one thing Kerry doesn't need help at is resume-padding.

Posted by: Kirk on August 26, 2004 01:05 AM

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Top Headlines

"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.

Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over

"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)

No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.

Now they've lost 84%.

Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.

Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...

The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.

Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.

(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.

Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party

STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.

Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.

Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"

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Democrat Congresswoman Sara Jacobs cites Me-Again Kelly, Cavernous Nostrils, Alex Jones and Tuq'r Qarlson as proof that concerns about Trump's mental health are "bipartisan"
As Bonchie from Red State says: Know the op when you see it.

Leftists who have been drawing Frankendistricts for decades are suddenly upset about Republican line-drawing
Socialist usurper Obama cut commercials urging Virginians to vote for the bizarre "lobster" gerrymander -- but now says gerrymanders are so racist you guys
Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map
Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.

Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat
And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain

Podcast: CBD and Sefton Charge the Democrats with fomenting violence against the nation with their rhetoric, Virginia redistricting going down the tubes? Trump's bully pulpit is not censorship, Lee Zeldin is a star, J.B. Pritzker is an idiot, and more!