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« New Michael Moore Documentary | Main | Top Ten Ways To Let a New Jersey Governor You're Not Interested in Pursuing a Gay Affair With Him »
August 16, 2004

I'm Back

Sorry about the unannounced abesenteeism. It happens.

Hey-- it's not like any juicy stories were in play last week or anything, right?


posted by Ace at 01:19 PM
Comments



Glad to see you again, Ace. I assume you spent your mini-vacation chatting with Wonkette re: screen-licking?

Posted by: Sobek on August 16, 2004 01:30 PM


The sad thing is I'm such a star-fucker* I would actually hang out with Wonkette if I had the chance.

*At least I assume I'm a star-fucker. No stars have as of yet ever allowed me in their presence, so the precise level of my star-fucking is undetermined.

Posted by: ace on August 16, 2004 01:38 PM

I thought you were probably just busy deciding the winner of the haiku contest.

Posted by: Scout on August 16, 2004 01:56 PM

Yeahp, doing that too. It hasn't been forgotten.

If you want to know, the main problem seems to be the host, Paul Anka. And the problem is that I just can't think of anything funny for him to say. I've got funny stuff that the judges say, but nothing funny for Paul.

I've been thinking about just going with a kinda lame announcement, because I know it's very past-due at this point.

Winners will be announced by Wednesday, by hook or by crook.

Posted by: ace on August 16, 2004 01:58 PM

grumble grumble grumble.....

Posted by: underappreciated haiku-phile on August 16, 2004 02:38 PM

Have you gone back to listen to the Primary Fucking Anka Document for inspiration?

Posted by: lauraw on August 16, 2004 02:40 PM

Lauraw,

No, but I pretty much have most of it memorized.

I need a take on it, which I don't have. A context to put the "slice like a hammer" quotes into.

The take last time around was gay marriage and Paul feuding with John about how many people Beulah's Playhouse seated. It's not as if I need some brilliant take, but I need some minimal one, and I haven't come up with any.

Posted by: ace on August 16, 2004 03:33 PM

Okay, coming soon-- as in, hours -- the qualifying round for the actual contest. Not all possible winners will be mentioned.

I've had this particular thing done for weeks. I didn't want to post it because I'm not sure if I can follow it up for the actual winner's show post.

Oh, well. I owe you all something.

But if the winner's show comes out lame, it's because I just blew my load by posting this thing.

Posted by: ace on August 16, 2004 03:35 PM

I wonder what Mr. Paul Anka would think about Teresa if he met her at a party.

Posted by: lauraw on August 16, 2004 05:05 PM

It's probably too late, but I think there might be some dispute about the actual syllabic count in the lines that Paul could tell us that it's just the way it is.
Alternatively, does the last line have to be somewhat mystical/vauge/poetic/pithy for it to truly be a haiku? We argued about that in our little bout of haiku in my office once.

Posted by: Nathan on August 17, 2004 10:47 AM
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