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« I'm Back | Main | Schroedinger's Candidate, Previsited »
August 16, 2004

Top Ten Ways To Let a New Jersey Governor You're Not Interested in Pursuing a Gay Affair With Him

10. Tell him "I like you, but I don't hot-man-on-man-gay-sex like you"

9. Politely decline his offer to appoint you "Secretary of the Fabulous"

8. Make a point of saying "straight-sounding" things in his presence, like "Check out the caboose on that fine filly" or "Did anyone catch Wild West Tech on The History Channel last night?"

7. "Shark Week" will also work

6. Let him down gently by telling him you're looking for someone who's "not so gubernatorial" as he is

5. When he comes to look at apartments with you, be sure to comment that "This would be a great room for having vaginal sex"

4. Attempt to appear listless and bored while he's sodomizing you

3. Explain to him you're already involved in a committed, loving gay relationship with actor Brian Dennehy

2. Decline to join his proposed "special two-man ad hoc committee for inspecting highway rest-stops"

...and the Number One Way to Let a New Jersey Governor You're Not Interested in Pursuing a Gay Affair With Him...

1. Slap his swish ass with a $50 million lawsuit


posted by Ace at 01:34 PM
Comments



Reason 1.5 While on your knees, pretend you're Jessica Cutler and there is a 6-figure book deal waiting for you

Posted by: Chrees on August 16, 2004 04:27 PM

Tell him your name is Teresa Heinz Kerry and then smile your prettiest Tootise smile at him.

Posted by: Da Goddess on August 17, 2004 04:51 PM

u'r website is a one and only...when u type in the words alpaca tootise..now its u'r turn to go to google and try typing in two words until u get a single website!

Posted by: googlewhackerll on December 27, 2004 07:45 PM
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