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August 09, 2004
Wonkette: As Inventive as EverThis Mozart-of-the-blogging world is now running a haiku contest, of all things. Where does she come up with this stuff? It's like there's a Secret Room of Great Inventive Ideas somewhere and only she has the key. And, oh: Yes, I know there's a contest-winners announcement due. It's coming. Promise. Whoops, Forgot to Credit: Thanks to Scout for pointing this out. posted by Ace at 01:54 PM
Comments"Wonkette's Daily Affirmations" Ass-fucking: funny! Posted by: ccwbass on August 9, 2004 02:12 PM
Wonkette's Woeful Fans Even the people Posted by: george on August 9, 2004 02:17 PM
Oh, I dunno - after I'd counted out the syl-lab-les on each line, it occurred to me your effort was a lot better than anything I'd have come up with, while also being syntactically correct. Bravo. To make you feel better, here's my attempt: Sleazy reporter Posted by: Patton on August 9, 2004 02:22 PM
Thank's for the faux lez Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on August 9, 2004 02:48 PM
Burglary is the sincerest form of flattery. Posted by: Johnny Walker Red on August 9, 2004 03:03 PM
I smell an anti wonkette haiku competition coming on. Or should I say, wonku? Posted by: Johnny Walker Red on August 9, 2004 03:04 PM
I warned you awhile ago that she really does poach ideas ... Posted by: Bill from INDC on August 9, 2004 03:12 PM
Wait, I've got it - Ho-ku! Posted by: Johnny Walker Red on August 9, 2004 03:49 PM
Tomorrow at Wonkette: A foul-mouthed talking sandwich. Only this one's a sub. Wait till you see what she does with it! Posted by: Paul Zrimsek on August 9, 2004 06:11 PM
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought he had to work "butt fuck" into a haiku when he read that post. Wonkette made a post; Posted by: Joe R. on August 9, 2004 06:30 PM
Here's a link to a story that, in spite of the title, has nothing to do with Wonkette. Posted by: Sobek on August 9, 2004 08:03 PM
I stole this from Ace. Posted by: Wonkette on August 9, 2004 08:28 PM
Ace, I want your bod. Posted by: Wonkette on August 9, 2004 08:29 PM
Ace, you have a fan. Posted by: Sobek on August 9, 2004 08:30 PM
Hey, I have an idea... Lets have a Haiku contest! Posted by: Don Callaway on August 9, 2004 11:57 PM
If we tag team that Posted by: Glove on August 10, 2004 12:39 PM
Should I be surprised that 3 of the 5 haikus featured by Wonkette contain the incorrect number of syllables? 5-7-5 folks, it's not hard. Posted by: Beck on August 10, 2004 02:46 PM
Hee, hee, hee. Posted by: ace on August 10, 2004 04:54 PM
Ace, is that an excited "Wonkette has a crush on me" giggle? Posted by: Sobek on August 10, 2004 05:00 PM
I don't know how to react, as I think the person who wrote it is actually a dude. Posted by: ace on August 10, 2004 06:16 PM
Would laughing at such a dirty haiku, written by a dude but ostensibly written by a woman, be considered "gay"? I've got thirty-five years of solid heterosexual quals going here, and I don't want to do anything to jeoparize that. I'm told that if I make it to forty they give me a blender. Posted by: ace on August 10, 2004 06:18 PM
I confess, I wrote it (I didn't do much to conceal my identity - if you click on my link you get my blog). No, I don't think it's gay to laugh at, but now I'm forced to wonder whether I've taken a step towards Andrew Sullivan-ville by writing dirty poetry to you in the guise of a woman. My wife will be unhappy to hear about this. Keep me posted on the blender thing, BTW. Posted by: Sobek on August 10, 2004 06:47 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?" I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove Chris
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near Somebody else holds your heart, yeah You turn to me with your icy tears And then it's raining, feels like it's raining
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source" Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held. Basil the Great
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.
Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing. Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult. Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending. (((Dan Hodges))) Nick Lowles
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98. Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years. Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45 Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%. I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens. REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs. Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:
![]() That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time. I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
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