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June 30, 2004
Top Al Qaeda "Spiritual Guide" Shot Dead Like a Dog in Saudi ArabiaReuters always has a funny way of putting things, doesn't it?: Saudi police killed a top spiritual guide for the Saudi wing of Osama bin Laden's al Qaeda network during a shootout in Riyadh on Wednesday, security sources said. They named the slain militant as Abdullah al-Roshood, on a list of 26 most wanted suspects, and said his death was a hefty blow to the ideological hierarchy of al Qaeda in the world's biggest oil exporter. ... "A police search of the militant's den showed that it was a factory for explosives," it added. This "spiritual guide" had a bomb factory? What a shock. Top Ten Other Items Discovered in Al Qaeda "Spiritual Guide's" Hideout 10. Explosive crystal unicorns 9. Cyanide-filled dominoes 8. One (1) special Magic: The Gathering deck with unique card, Osama bin Ladin: Half-Elf Ranger Lord 7. Three "organic" crystal balls which look suspiciously like severed human heads 6. Special tarot cards featuring grotesque anti-semitic caricatures, such as "Schlomo, The Hook-Nosed Rag Merchant" 5. A ouija board containing only two sections, "Kill Infidel Crusaders" and "Kill Jewish Pig-Monkeys" 4. A lockbox labeled Secret Scrolls of Righteousness -- For the Spiritual Guide Only, containing 40 back-issues of Oui and Juggs magazines 3. One cancelled membership card for the Uri Geller fan club 2. Four yoga mats upon which are written inspirational or humorous jihadist messages, such as "Suicide Bombers Do It With Their Belts On" and "Today is the Last Day of the Rest of Your Life" ... and the Number One Item Discovered in the Al Qaeda "Spiritual Guide's" Hideout... 1. One reviewer's copy of Fahrenheit 911; cover signed, "Keep the faith -- Mike" posted by Ace at 04:49 PM
CommentsWhat about his copy of "Chicken Soup for the Terrorist's Soul"? Posted by: Brian B on June 30, 2004 05:34 PM
That's good eatin'. By the way, since Al Bore fathered the Internet, does that make all of the Digital Brownshirts his evil spawn? Posted by: Jeff on June 30, 2004 05:48 PM
*snickersnort* Nice one, Ace. Posted by: Emma on June 30, 2004 06:52 PM
How about the Holy Hand Grenade? Posted by: Stumbo on June 30, 2004 08:08 PM
Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses One through Forty-Two.... Posted by: Brian B on June 30, 2004 08:20 PM
5. "A ouija board containing only two sections, 'Kill Infidel Crusaders' and 'Kill Jewish Pig-Monkeys'" You are killing me. I'll be laughing about this tomorrow. Posted by: physics geek on June 30, 2004 08:51 PM
What's the deal with jihadists and the whole "Jews are pigs and monkeys" thing anyway? I mean, OK, you don't think they're human. We got it. So, are they pigs? Are they monkeys? What's it going to be? Sheesh. You'd think that after over a millennium of hatred, they would have it figured out by now. Posted by: David on June 30, 2004 09:02 PM
What's the deal with jihadists and the whole "Jews are pigs and monkeys" thing anyway? I mean, OK, you don't think they're human. We got it. So, are they pigs? Are they monkeys? What's it going to be? As I understand it, they believe that Jews are the offspring of a Pig/Monkey relationship. Of course, that doesn't work genetically, but these people aren't exactly living in the 21st century... Posted by: Smack on June 30, 2004 10:03 PM
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Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: Northern Lights Division
Our topic today is music That's right, like 'Cause my brother and I are now experts in the field, eh Yeah, right, 'cause we're a band now Uh, yeah, so Except for him, I'm a band Aw, how can you do that? You're making me look bad You're such a Hosehead
CNBC ranks Tennessee as dead last in its “Worst States to Live” analysis. The specific reason is that cross-dressing men in TN are denied access to children and women’s private spaces. Texas finished 49th. The “worst” states were all red states. [Buck]
Senator Lindsey Graham (R - SC) has died after a "brief and sudden illness." [Buck]
The "Evel Knievel Experience," a museum dedicated to the famous daredevil, opens in (where else) Las Vegas
Well I guess they could have opened it on the Snake Canyon.
In response to someone asking why the video tape doesn't show Tyler Robinson's face (PS, it does, but it's crappy video so it's blurry):
Candace OwensFor such an "open and shut case" they have thus far provided ZERO evidence of anything outside of a criminal government conspiracy, the likes of which hasn't been seen since the JFK assassination.
More "fedslop" that Cavernous Nostrils is too smart to be taken in by:
Blake Neff Fenix Ammunition Post here, showing Tyler Robinson's ammunition, matching this guy's own box. And it is an expanding-tip hollow-point round. Boy these Internet Experts (TM) sure do get a lot of things wrong.
Lost 70s Mystery Click
And a song with another song as an intro, too: Be it sight, sound, smell, or touch There's something Inside that we need so much The sight of a touch, or the scent of a sound Or the strength of an oak with roots deep in the ground The wonder of flowers to be covered and then to burst up Thru tarmac, to the sun again Boy do they look like absolute dorks.
Lost 70s Mystery Click
Doing alright A little jiving on a Saturday night And come what may Gonna dance the day away Jenny was sweet She always smiled for the people she'd meet On trouble and strife She had another way of looking at life
RIP Lord Humungus
[CBD]
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
It happened one summer, it happened one time It happened forever, for a short time A place for a moment, an end to dream Forever I loved you, forever it seemed One summer never ends, one summer never began It keeps me standing still, it takes all my will Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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