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June 30, 2004
Top Al Qaeda "Spiritual Guide" Shot Dead Like a Dog in Saudi ArabiaReuters always has a funny way of putting things, doesn't it?: Saudi police killed a top spiritual guide for the Saudi wing of Osama bin Laden's al Qaeda network during a shootout in Riyadh on Wednesday, security sources said. They named the slain militant as Abdullah al-Roshood, on a list of 26 most wanted suspects, and said his death was a hefty blow to the ideological hierarchy of al Qaeda in the world's biggest oil exporter. ... "A police search of the militant's den showed that it was a factory for explosives," it added. This "spiritual guide" had a bomb factory? What a shock. Top Ten Other Items Discovered in Al Qaeda "Spiritual Guide's" Hideout 10. Explosive crystal unicorns 9. Cyanide-filled dominoes 8. One (1) special Magic: The Gathering deck with unique card, Osama bin Ladin: Half-Elf Ranger Lord 7. Three "organic" crystal balls which look suspiciously like severed human heads 6. Special tarot cards featuring grotesque anti-semitic caricatures, such as "Schlomo, The Hook-Nosed Rag Merchant" 5. A ouija board containing only two sections, "Kill Infidel Crusaders" and "Kill Jewish Pig-Monkeys" 4. A lockbox labeled Secret Scrolls of Righteousness -- For the Spiritual Guide Only, containing 40 back-issues of Oui and Juggs magazines 3. One cancelled membership card for the Uri Geller fan club 2. Four yoga mats upon which are written inspirational or humorous jihadist messages, such as "Suicide Bombers Do It With Their Belts On" and "Today is the Last Day of the Rest of Your Life" ... and the Number One Item Discovered in the Al Qaeda "Spiritual Guide's" Hideout... 1. One reviewer's copy of Fahrenheit 911; cover signed, "Keep the faith -- Mike" posted by Ace at 04:49 PM
CommentsWhat about his copy of "Chicken Soup for the Terrorist's Soul"? Posted by: Brian B on June 30, 2004 05:34 PM
That's good eatin'. By the way, since Al Bore fathered the Internet, does that make all of the Digital Brownshirts his evil spawn? Posted by: Jeff on June 30, 2004 05:48 PM
*snickersnort* Nice one, Ace. Posted by: Emma on June 30, 2004 06:52 PM
How about the Holy Hand Grenade? Posted by: Stumbo on June 30, 2004 08:08 PM
Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses One through Forty-Two.... Posted by: Brian B on June 30, 2004 08:20 PM
5. "A ouija board containing only two sections, 'Kill Infidel Crusaders' and 'Kill Jewish Pig-Monkeys'" You are killing me. I'll be laughing about this tomorrow. Posted by: physics geek on June 30, 2004 08:51 PM
What's the deal with jihadists and the whole "Jews are pigs and monkeys" thing anyway? I mean, OK, you don't think they're human. We got it. So, are they pigs? Are they monkeys? What's it going to be? Sheesh. You'd think that after over a millennium of hatred, they would have it figured out by now. Posted by: David on June 30, 2004 09:02 PM
What's the deal with jihadists and the whole "Jews are pigs and monkeys" thing anyway? I mean, OK, you don't think they're human. We got it. So, are they pigs? Are they monkeys? What's it going to be? As I understand it, they believe that Jews are the offspring of a Pig/Monkey relationship. Of course, that doesn't work genetically, but these people aren't exactly living in the 21st century... Posted by: Smack on June 30, 2004 10:03 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Democrat Congresswoman Sara Jacobs cites Me-Again Kelly, Cavernous Nostrils, Alex Jones and Tuq'r Qarlson as proof that concerns about Trump's mental health are "bipartisan"
As Bonchie from Red State says: Know the op when you see it.
Leftists who have been drawing Frankendistricts for decades are suddenly upset about Republican line-drawing
Socialist usurper Obama cut commercials urging Virginians to vote for the bizarre "lobster" gerrymander -- but now says gerrymanders are so racist you guys Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.
Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat
And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain
ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP
If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents. Erika Kirk was present.
Forgotten 70s Mystery Click
You made me cry when you said good-bye 70s, not 50s Now that is a motherflipping intro
NYT Melts Down Over Texas Rangers Statue Outside... Texas Rangers' Stadium
"The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD]
Important Message from Recent Convert to Christianity and Yet Super-Serious Christian Tuq'r Qarlson: Actually Muslims love Jesus, it's Trump and his neocons who hate him
Tucker Carlson Network Trump's trolling tweet was ill-advised, but Tucker is just lying when he claims the Christianity-hating President of Iran was "offended" by this. He's one step away from announcing his official conversion to Islam. He literally never stops praising Islam. Well, he suddenly became Christian two years ago, there's not much stopping him from converting again. You can track Tuq'r's official conversion to Islam with this Bingo card.
People say that the bearded man in the video of Fartwell molesting a hooker looks like Democrat Arizona Senator Rueben Gallego, said to be Swalwell's "best friend" and known to take vacations with him.
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