Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
Doof:
doof2112 at proton.me
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Captain Whitebread 2026
Jon Ekdahl 2026
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups





















« Another Moore Rip | Main | An Open Letter to Oliver Willis »
June 30, 2004

Top Al Qaeda "Spiritual Guide" Shot Dead Like a Dog in Saudi Arabia

Reuters always has a funny way of putting things, doesn't it?:

Saudi police killed a top spiritual guide for the Saudi wing of Osama bin Laden's al Qaeda network during a shootout in Riyadh on Wednesday, security sources said.

They named the slain militant as Abdullah al-Roshood, on a list of 26 most wanted suspects, and said his death was a hefty blow to the ideological hierarchy of al Qaeda in the world's biggest oil exporter.

...

"A police search of the militant's den showed that it was a factory for explosives," it added.

This "spiritual guide" had a bomb factory? What a shock.

Top Ten Other Items Discovered in Al Qaeda "Spiritual Guide's" Hideout

10. Explosive crystal unicorns

9. Cyanide-filled dominoes

8. One (1) special Magic: The Gathering deck with unique card, Osama bin Ladin: Half-Elf Ranger Lord

7. Three "organic" crystal balls which look suspiciously like severed human heads

6. Special tarot cards featuring grotesque anti-semitic caricatures, such as "Schlomo, The Hook-Nosed Rag Merchant"

5. A ouija board containing only two sections, "Kill Infidel Crusaders" and "Kill Jewish Pig-Monkeys"

4. A lockbox labeled Secret Scrolls of Righteousness -- For the Spiritual Guide Only, containing 40 back-issues of Oui and Juggs magazines

3. One cancelled membership card for the Uri Geller fan club

2. Four yoga mats upon which are written inspirational or humorous jihadist messages, such as "Suicide Bombers Do It With Their Belts On" and "Today is the Last Day of the Rest of Your Life"

... and the Number One Item Discovered in the Al Qaeda "Spiritual Guide's" Hideout...

1. One reviewer's copy of Fahrenheit 911; cover signed, "Keep the faith -- Mike"


posted by Ace at 04:49 PM
Comments



What about his copy of "Chicken Soup for the Terrorist's Soul"?

Posted by: Brian B on June 30, 2004 05:34 PM

That's good eatin'. By the way, since Al Bore fathered the Internet, does that make all of the Digital Brownshirts his evil spawn?

Posted by: Jeff on June 30, 2004 05:48 PM

*snickersnort*

Nice one, Ace.

Posted by: Emma on June 30, 2004 06:52 PM

How about the Holy Hand Grenade?

Posted by: Stumbo on June 30, 2004 08:08 PM

Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses One through Forty-Two....

Posted by: Brian B on June 30, 2004 08:20 PM

5. "A ouija board containing only two sections, 'Kill Infidel Crusaders' and 'Kill Jewish Pig-Monkeys'"

You are killing me. I'll be laughing about this tomorrow.

Posted by: physics geek on June 30, 2004 08:51 PM

What's the deal with jihadists and the whole "Jews are pigs and monkeys" thing anyway? I mean, OK, you don't think they're human. We got it. So, are they pigs? Are they monkeys? What's it going to be?

Sheesh. You'd think that after over a millennium of hatred, they would have it figured out by now.

Posted by: David on June 30, 2004 09:02 PM

What's the deal with jihadists and the whole "Jews are pigs and monkeys" thing anyway? I mean, OK, you don't think they're human. We got it. So, are they pigs? Are they monkeys? What's it going to be?

As I understand it, they believe that Jews are the offspring of a Pig/Monkey relationship. Of course, that doesn't work genetically, but these people aren't exactly living in the 21st century...

Posted by: Smack on June 30, 2004 10:03 PM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: CBD is solo and just checking in! Trump's UN speech is a success, the Last Ditch Bar in Western MA keeps their lunacy in the spotlight, and the White House plays hardball with the media and the judiciary...as it should!
If you care, the new end credit scenes added to the Avengers: Endgame re-release have leaked. Watch 'em fast before they're deleted.
This post has a written summary of the scenes.
LOL:
Somebody should write a book about the greatest drinking stories of O'Toole, Burton, Harris, and Caine. One of my faves was Richard Harris went on a six week bender in the South of France without telling wifey. Upon return, she's screaming, and he simply replied "why didn't you pay the ransom"?

Posted by: bill in arkansas
Support a Moron running in deep blue CT to unseat a leftist hack!
Darrell Harris For CT State Representative.
[CBD]
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Did the SCOTUS leftists slow-walk the USPS decision, Newsom's mendacious pledge not to run if Harris does, Canada's return to the trade negotiations, AI fear-mongering, The Goo Goo Dolls are adults, and more!
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click, Guitar Hero Edition
Oh here it comes
That funny feeling again winding me up inside Every time we touch
Hey I don't know
Oh, tell me where to begin cause I never ever
Felt so much

Okay, that was pretty easy. Here's one that's 3% harder. But still easy.
Ooh, can you feel the static?
So many contacts being made
We've got up-front fanatics
Tearing down the barricade
To reach the stage
Can you feel the rage?
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Is the Iran situation reaching a steady state? The UK sides with the enemies of the West, Vance the Squish? France and Germany and their coming elections, Canada trade war is one-sided, and Clancy is evil incarnate!
Dear RNC; Go f*ck yourselves. I have gotten 56 texts in the last two weeks...all offensive and sneaky and all begging for money. At this point I would rather donate to AOC. [CBD]
BIG NEWS UPDATE NOT FIRED

From her lawyer

"The irresponsible reports that have been published stating that Maria Bartiromo was fired or is no longer an employee of Fox are absolutely and unequivocally false," Freedman said Friday. "Make no mistake, we have the receipts and witnesses and they will come out whether through the courthouse or otherwise."

He added: "Those reporting her firing or the incredulous facts supporting that fiction have exhibited a complete and utter reckless disregard for the truth."

from anon2020
So what, she quit?
Megyn Kelly (accursed be her name) used to say all the time that Fox has a top female PR person who is a nasty pitbull and leaks nasty claims about anyone Fox is at war with, including those who have left the network. So I guess maybe she technically resigned? I don't know.
NEW: @FoxNews has obtained Lindsay Clancy defense attorney Kevin Reddington's appeal filing to the MA Supreme Court, which includes Reddington accusing the lone holdout juror of being "biased" against those with "debilitating mental illness", which he says is a protected category.

Thanks to Mark1971
Holiday Break: I've had a rough couple of weeks -- the shoulder is healing now and I'm finally getting decent sleep -- and I've decided to take a long weekend.
I'm taking Friday off, and then Monday off, too.
I have Open Threads for both days and I will post if big news breaks, but if it doesn't -- and it probably won't, news is slow before a holiday weekend -- I'm going to take a four day weekend.
Recent Comments
Joemarine: "89 I hated Joe and the dogeater but you didn't see ..."

Bulg: "212 A. H., your e-mail? ..."

four seasons: " He is delusional. Oh and evil. ..."

Piper: "Today was my wife's birthday and I got her Klondik ..."

Bertram Cabot, Jr.: " Hasan Piker compares himself to Rush Limbaugh ..."

Piper: "Didn't know you were sick. Glad you are getting be ..."

Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd: "Hey, A. H.! Things are decent. I am basically reti ..."

Bertram Cabot, Jr.: " [i] President Trump and First Lady Melania greet ..."

Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ : "192 Don't know how long I'll be here tonight-- com ..."

four seasons: " mindful, I agree ..."

mindful webworker - whatta we want? PEACE AND QUIET! When do we w... wait, what?: "[i]I have wondered if protesting accomplishes anyt ..."

Bulg: "201 Hey, A. H.! Things are decent. I am basicall ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives