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« NFL Championships Thread. | Main | If your goal is to destroy Israel, I guess it only makes sense »
January 22, 2006

The Best Cop Cars.

Interesting little piece at CNN showcasing how the Michigan State Police go about evaluating cars for police work.

One car they tested? The new Dodge Charger. Here's an artist's representation of what a Charger interceptor would look like, and I have to say, this thing behind me would scare the punk outta me:

charger.jpg
Finally, a car fit for Max Rockatansky.

In related news, for the record, every non-uniformed driver who purchased either a Ford Crown Victoria or Chevrolet Impala in the past decade is a dick.

It's hard enough as it is spotting speed traps and cruising interceptors along the turnpikes. But since Uncle Al wanted his Crown Vic instead of a Buick, *I* am made paranoid every time I creep up alongside one of these cars, wondering if I'm passing a cop or the elderly. Seriously, leave these cars for the cops and the cabbies.

Jackasses.


posted by Dave From Garfield Ridge at 10:39 AM
Comments



My beloved mother in law drives a black Crown Vic with one of those teardrop shaped crystal prisms hanging from the rear view. When the sun hits the crystal it flashes red and blue as it spins. Very subtle, but startling to other drivers.

She has no idea why everyone slows down when she drives up to them. Heh.

Posted by: Pupster on January 22, 2006 11:10 AM

The worst part is that some of the cops do drive unmarked Crown Vics. I got pulled over by one when I was 16. The cop was off-duty, and didn't have the power to do anything but yell at a teenage girl. He claimed I "cut him off". I had turned at small intersection between two other cars while he was coming the opposite direction. But I was in the smallest car, so I was the one that got it.

Then there's the whole taxi/police quandry (especially the the taxis that have search-lights left on them from when they were polica cars).

In Florida, the troopers have first dibs on confiscated cars, so I've seen marked convertibles sitting at the side of the road, waiting for people to speed.

Posted by: Axolotl on January 22, 2006 11:46 AM

I use a simple of rule of thumb when approaching a Crown Vic: If I can see the driver's head, I slow down, if not, I pass it.

Posted by: Planet Moron on January 22, 2006 11:47 AM

Hate it when they use a weird car- ten or twelve years ago, the State troopers in Hartford were using a cute little Mazda with tinted windows. I think it was an MX-3.

At least when granny drives the crown vic on the highway, you can tell its NOT a cop when you get close.

Those weird non-cop looking cars are a menace to speeders.

Posted by: lauraw on January 22, 2006 11:55 AM

Anyone that's aware of the "crash and burn" capability of the Crown Vic would sell it in a heartbeat. FoMoCo is settling liability lawsuits for undisclosed millions to keep the sales numbers up. These automotive dinosaurs are the fleet sales conerstone for Ford.
The City of Dallas, TX has cancelled all pending purchase contracts of these death-traps. The number of crash-fires and fatalities is well documented.

Tell Grandpa and Uncle Herb to look at another vehicle next time a purchase is looming. They want a safe, comfortable car....this isn't it.

(I call 'em a "Burn Vic")

Posted by: Grinder on January 22, 2006 12:07 PM

....and the Lincoln Town Car is the same platform.

Posted by: Grinder on January 22, 2006 12:09 PM

Jackasses, indeed.

In my area, we even have a taxicab company who chose a color scheme which is strikingly similar to the state troopers.

Double jackasses!

Posted by: LarryLion on January 22, 2006 01:36 PM

I drive a white 94 Caprice that used to be a cop car. The Caprice 9C1s are great because they have the Corvette LT1 engine and a thicker frame. I think the roof is reinforced, too, so I can flip that fucker over and just jump out and start giving people the finger, no problem.

The best feature is that it helps to inspire the retarded slow bitches of North Jersey to get the fuck out of the left lane when I come barrelling up their ass.

Posted by: Stankleberry on January 22, 2006 04:06 PM

Am I the only one thinking Mad Max at that artist's drawing? Just looking at that makes me want to try to single handedly take out a post apocalyptic biker gang in a war for scarce petrol.

Posted by: Quintapalus on January 22, 2006 04:10 PM

Most of you dumasses couldn't tell the difference between a Crown Vic and a Grand Marquis.

Losers.

Posted by: Teafran on January 22, 2006 06:46 PM

Cop suspension, cop motor, we're on a mission from God.

Had to be said.

Posted by: Howard on January 22, 2006 10:55 PM

I drive a sand-colored '01 Impala.

If you don't like it, don't effing speed, you pansies.

Posted by: bbeck on January 22, 2006 11:08 PM

A Dodge? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ahahahahahah...? Now this is heart attack in your rear view. These guys never lost. Hemi? Whatever.

Bring me this "Charger," and I'll eat it for lunch, strip or street, with my '70 Bug. Pink slips, Coppers, bring me your pink slips.

Posted by: ArmChair in sin on January 23, 2006 01:18 AM

Make it fly and you'll have Fifth Element. Then all you'll need is Milla in a strategically-placed orange strap.

Jason

Posted by: Jason on January 23, 2006 02:13 AM

I will have to go with Armchair in sin about the AMC Javelins. The Ga. State Patrol had some for a while. I heard that there were some reliability issues, but my dad's Jeep pickup had the same engine, the 401 ci V-8, with a 4 bbl. Even with the lousy aerodynamics, it could reach 80 mph with ease. I didn't get beyond 80 though, 'cause I was too busy watching the gas gauge going down.

Posted by: joe-6-pack on January 24, 2006 01:49 AM

In the 70s series ADAM 12 they used a PLYMOUTH BELEADERE and then there was CAR 54 WHERE ARE YOU

Posted by: spurwing plover on January 24, 2006 09:58 AM
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