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« NFL Championships Thread. | Main | If your goal is to destroy Israel, I guess it only makes sense »
January 22, 2006

The Best Cop Cars.

Interesting little piece at CNN showcasing how the Michigan State Police go about evaluating cars for police work.

One car they tested? The new Dodge Charger. Here's an artist's representation of what a Charger interceptor would look like, and I have to say, this thing behind me would scare the punk outta me:

charger.jpg
Finally, a car fit for Max Rockatansky.

In related news, for the record, every non-uniformed driver who purchased either a Ford Crown Victoria or Chevrolet Impala in the past decade is a dick.

It's hard enough as it is spotting speed traps and cruising interceptors along the turnpikes. But since Uncle Al wanted his Crown Vic instead of a Buick, *I* am made paranoid every time I creep up alongside one of these cars, wondering if I'm passing a cop or the elderly. Seriously, leave these cars for the cops and the cabbies.

Jackasses.


posted by Dave From Garfield Ridge at 10:39 AM
Comments



My beloved mother in law drives a black Crown Vic with one of those teardrop shaped crystal prisms hanging from the rear view. When the sun hits the crystal it flashes red and blue as it spins. Very subtle, but startling to other drivers.

She has no idea why everyone slows down when she drives up to them. Heh.

Posted by: Pupster on January 22, 2006 11:10 AM

The worst part is that some of the cops do drive unmarked Crown Vics. I got pulled over by one when I was 16. The cop was off-duty, and didn't have the power to do anything but yell at a teenage girl. He claimed I "cut him off". I had turned at small intersection between two other cars while he was coming the opposite direction. But I was in the smallest car, so I was the one that got it.

Then there's the whole taxi/police quandry (especially the the taxis that have search-lights left on them from when they were polica cars).

In Florida, the troopers have first dibs on confiscated cars, so I've seen marked convertibles sitting at the side of the road, waiting for people to speed.

Posted by: Axolotl on January 22, 2006 11:46 AM

I use a simple of rule of thumb when approaching a Crown Vic: If I can see the driver's head, I slow down, if not, I pass it.

Posted by: Planet Moron on January 22, 2006 11:47 AM

Hate it when they use a weird car- ten or twelve years ago, the State troopers in Hartford were using a cute little Mazda with tinted windows. I think it was an MX-3.

At least when granny drives the crown vic on the highway, you can tell its NOT a cop when you get close.

Those weird non-cop looking cars are a menace to speeders.

Posted by: lauraw on January 22, 2006 11:55 AM

Anyone that's aware of the "crash and burn" capability of the Crown Vic would sell it in a heartbeat. FoMoCo is settling liability lawsuits for undisclosed millions to keep the sales numbers up. These automotive dinosaurs are the fleet sales conerstone for Ford.
The City of Dallas, TX has cancelled all pending purchase contracts of these death-traps. The number of crash-fires and fatalities is well documented.

Tell Grandpa and Uncle Herb to look at another vehicle next time a purchase is looming. They want a safe, comfortable car....this isn't it.

(I call 'em a "Burn Vic")

Posted by: Grinder on January 22, 2006 12:07 PM

....and the Lincoln Town Car is the same platform.

Posted by: Grinder on January 22, 2006 12:09 PM

Jackasses, indeed.

In my area, we even have a taxicab company who chose a color scheme which is strikingly similar to the state troopers.

Double jackasses!

Posted by: LarryLion on January 22, 2006 01:36 PM

I drive a white 94 Caprice that used to be a cop car. The Caprice 9C1s are great because they have the Corvette LT1 engine and a thicker frame. I think the roof is reinforced, too, so I can flip that fucker over and just jump out and start giving people the finger, no problem.

The best feature is that it helps to inspire the retarded slow bitches of North Jersey to get the fuck out of the left lane when I come barrelling up their ass.

Posted by: Stankleberry on January 22, 2006 04:06 PM

Am I the only one thinking Mad Max at that artist's drawing? Just looking at that makes me want to try to single handedly take out a post apocalyptic biker gang in a war for scarce petrol.

Posted by: Quintapalus on January 22, 2006 04:10 PM

Most of you dumasses couldn't tell the difference between a Crown Vic and a Grand Marquis.

Losers.

Posted by: Teafran on January 22, 2006 06:46 PM

Cop suspension, cop motor, we're on a mission from God.

Had to be said.

Posted by: Howard on January 22, 2006 10:55 PM

I drive a sand-colored '01 Impala.

If you don't like it, don't effing speed, you pansies.

Posted by: bbeck on January 22, 2006 11:08 PM

A Dodge? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ahahahahahah...? Now this is heart attack in your rear view. These guys never lost. Hemi? Whatever.

Bring me this "Charger," and I'll eat it for lunch, strip or street, with my '70 Bug. Pink slips, Coppers, bring me your pink slips.

Posted by: ArmChair in sin on January 23, 2006 01:18 AM

Make it fly and you'll have Fifth Element. Then all you'll need is Milla in a strategically-placed orange strap.

Jason

Posted by: Jason on January 23, 2006 02:13 AM

I will have to go with Armchair in sin about the AMC Javelins. The Ga. State Patrol had some for a while. I heard that there were some reliability issues, but my dad's Jeep pickup had the same engine, the 401 ci V-8, with a 4 bbl. Even with the lousy aerodynamics, it could reach 80 mph with ease. I didn't get beyond 80 though, 'cause I was too busy watching the gas gauge going down.

Posted by: joe-6-pack on January 24, 2006 01:49 AM

In the 70s series ADAM 12 they used a PLYMOUTH BELEADERE and then there was CAR 54 WHERE ARE YOU

Posted by: spurwing plover on January 24, 2006 09:58 AM
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Mary Margaret Olohan
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NEW: Five FBI employees were fired today over the infamous Richmond Catholic memo on "radical traditionalist Catholics," FBI source confirms to @realDailyWire.
Oof. Reviewers do not like Scary Movie 6. The criticism I keep hearing is that the movie mistakes a reference for an actual joke. The movie (they say) keeps Key Jangling a reference to another movie (or some other pop culture ephemera) and you expect there to be a joke but nope, the Key Jangle was the joke. Other reviewers say that the promise that "no lines will be uncrossed" is a fake-out, and that the movie is bland and inoffensively corporate.
Whoops! I posted about Dan Goldman losing the NY congressional primary. He might do that, but it won't be tonight -- the primary isn't held until June 23.
One race to keep an eye on: the Levi's heir nepo baby and egregious "Designated Liar" Dan Goldman -- one of the Democrats from a safe district Democrats send out to spread their most indefensible lies -- may actually lose his lower Manhattan/Brooklyn set due to, get this, antisemitism in the Democrat primary electorate.
Antisemitism? In the anti-Nazi Democrat Party? Sounds crazy, I know, but apparently the anti-Nazi Party wants to eliminate Jews.
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🚨EXCLUSIVE POLL:

Brad Lander is 34-pts ahead of Congressman Dan Goldman with #NY10 Democratic Primary voters. @ZohranKMamdani is backing the former Comptroller.

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Oh my Totenkopf Tattoo, that is a DRUBBING!
I'm usually very anti-antisemitism but if the Communist Antisemite Jihadists can pull this one off, Go Communist Antisemite Jihadists, Go!
Democrat Senator Rueben Gallego, who served his wife with divorce papers when she was nine months pregnant so that he could marry his side-piece, counsels us that we should not judge Graham Platner for his infidelity because these things are personal matters, Racists:

Sahil Kapur
@sahilkapur

Sen. Ruben Gallego, D-Ariz., on Platner: "We know that Graham has lived not your typical political experience. He's been very clear and open with his wife, and they worked through whatever they worked through. At the end of the day, this man has had 60 more town halls than Susan Collins has. He's winning the polls, he's willing to accept that he has grown as a person, and I think we should accept that."

Gallego says the drip-drip of revelations won't harm Platner's campaign.

"I think you guys are all in a bubble here right now. The drip, drip that's actually happening is Americans are really, really hurt the fact that gas is still high, food is still high, they can't buy a home, you can't afford rent. They're not going to care about text messages and everything else like that that happened years ago, especially when it was worked out between spouses."

I like that he says that it's okay that Graham Platner sexted 12 different women within months of marrying the woman to sponge off her because he wasn't then "living a political life" -- the clear meaning being, "We all cheat, we just don't cheat when we're running for office, and he didn't know he was running for office when he was sending dicpics to half the women he ran into."
Except he was running: His own wife turned the sexts over to his campaign.
And obviously Reuben Gallego didn't let his "political life" get in the way of his extramarital dating life:
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Podcast: CBD goes solo in a short segment...talking about Iran, the nativist issues surrounding Reform and Restore in the UK, and the delicious pain of an imploding Democrat Party, courtesy of Talerico and Platner!
Funny -- if you don't mind clicking on TikTok. "Amy.Pranks.22" set up an AI scam-call screener which replies to a foreign scammer trying to get her bank information with Trumpian bluster. This might be fake because I don't see how a program can respond in real time, but it's funny.
Food Thread Pizza Dough Recipe
The ULA rocket just launched
Thanks to Joyenz
The rocket's enormous engines are fueled by "the volcanic heterosexual lust between James Talarico and his Neighbor With a Uterus 'girlfriend'"
I hope Amazon's rocket works better than the Amazon Prime app does as far as allowing people to watch the black and white version of "Spider-Noir"
From the CA Post:

Spencer Pratt is now Karen Bass' biggest headache.

A bombshell California Post poll conducted with McLaughlin & Associates shows the reality TV star-turned-mayoral candidate has surged to a statistical tie with the incumbent mayor.

And voters blame homelessness, affordability and the direction of Los Angeles as the reason for turning on Bass.

Pratt now leads the field with 30.1% support, compared with 29.5% for Bass, setting up a razor-thin race heading into next week's primary.

Socialist councilwoman Nithya Raman sits in third place at 23.4%.

Thanks to beckster
Just like "Spartacus" Corey Booker, now that James Talarico is running for a higher office, he unveils his previously-unknown "girlfriend" and hooboy, it just so happens she used to work for him, and, get this, likes to "dance the night away" at gay bars
Gee I wonder where they might have met
Oh and she's a vegan
When Corey Booker needed a "girlfriend," he conjured up known LGBTQ activist Rosario Dawson. How convenient that when these guys need a girlfriend to show off to the normies that just happen to find an activist with a strong history of and interest in Supporting Gay Men
But seriously, this James Talarico romance with a Neighbor with a Uterus is a love story for the ages. The passion of their lovemaking is hotter than a blue star with a core of Primordial Sex Atoms created in the Big Bang
And just like that, #PunchANazi became Punch a Ballot for a Nazi
"Teen" charged with five counts of attempted murder after attempting to run down police officers with his car in yet another "teen takeover" permitted by woke racist incompetent Chicago mayor Brandon Johnson
Johnson's response to the "teen takeovers" of streets and businesses that he refuses to make arrests to stop is to go after social media companies for not deleting messages to coordinate the "teen takeovers." Um, they're supposed to find these messages and delete them in real time?
It makes no sense but he has to offer an "alternative" plan to just arresting lawbreakers -- which he absolutely refuses to do, saying we "can't arrest our way out" of rampant crime.
Future Tucker Carlson guest James Talarico:
James Talarico
@jamestalarico

Black Americans in a church.

Mexican Americans in a store.

Asian Americans in a spa.

Radicalized white men are the greatest domestic terrorist threat in our country.

He's referring to three mass attacks committed by white men in, oh, the past six or eight years. There were a huge number of mass shootings and bombings he had to skip over to cherry pick three committed by white men. Which kind of makes me think that "white men" are not the greatest terrorist threat in our country.
No, I doubt he'll be a guest on Tucker Carlson. The only thing that Tucker clings to that he claims makes him "conservative" is a palpable hatred of gays. Any time there's a communist enslaving their population and executing dissenters and conservatives, Tucker praises that dictator by saying "at least he represses the homos!"
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