I like this one:

If Jack Bauer ran Starbucks

My favorite:

"Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up their location."

Anyone know when they might repeat the season opener?

Man, Dave.

I've been lurking here for over a year and have long fallen in love with you. Now I gotta post.

But Jack Bauer still has it on you. Sorry.

Another great line from this season:

"you will tell me what I need to know, and I'll decide how much it will hurt." (or something like that)

He's my ultimate white-hot thug after Dave from Garfield Ridge.

My fave:

Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Wait til Ace sees this. THAT'S OLD, DAVE. I tipped him to it the other day, and he posted it. Heeeeeeeeeeeee.

Uh oh. That was the "24" drinking game. Boy, is my face red. BUT IT'S STILL OLD.

Depending on what the meaning of "old" is.

Dave never does anything old.

Give him a few drinks, he will do anything.

Hmm. I've got a twelve pack chillin'.

Do you guys think the Lefties watch 24 each week hoping this time Jack Bauer will be arrested for breaking the rules?

Jack Bauer can play an entire round of golf in nine holes.

Anything for the ladies, Nance.

Although, be careful-- kevlarchick could get jealous.

When Jack gives you a list of 8 things, 8 'effin things on it,

You better have the first 7 done already.

That's some very funny stuff. "24" rocks and Jack Bauer is a stud. Kind of like Chuck Norris.

He doesn't sleep. He waits.

Heh.

Jack Bauer knows where Joe is.

And he ain't talkin.

Jack Bauer can make a crazed, gun-wielding terrorist piss his pants at 50 paces just by squeezing his sphincter muscle.

What's next -- random facts about Emeril Lagasse?

I try to emulate Jack Bauer in many ways. So, I took kevlarchick out. Now we can be together, Dave.

An oldie:

Don't run away from Jack Bauer; you'll just die tired.

And my beloved Dave,

Nance's last words were "take...care of....Dave." So, I'm going to honor the wishes of the dead.

that other Dave, right? you know, the Dave at GR. The one you never make clear is the one you're talking about?

*sigh* don't get my hopes up. Just add an @ to "Dave", s'all I ask.

Jack Bauer doesn't need a breath mint. Breath mints need him.

oh wait, dammit, you did make it clear it's D@gr, upthread and from earlier posts.

dammit. dammit.

In a contest between Death and Jack Bauer, Jack Bauer would kick Death's ass by dying first to meet him in the Underworld, holding his hand up and saying "Death, look at my thumb", and sucker punching him.

Jack Bauer would say "gee you're dumb" before bringing himself back to life. By biting his tongue.

Dave in Texas,

I lived in Texas for seven years. At one point I may have caught your sweet fragrance on the wind. I may have felt your vibe in the same city.

The problem is that there are so many white hot thugs like you on this blog, and so few chicks. Not that I'm complainin'.

In the future, I will clearly indicate which white-hotness I am addressing, you darling man.

I will clearly indicate which white-hotness I am addressing, you darling man.

Thoughtful and hot. You must be making some guy somewhere very happy.

Dave in Texas

You sweet thing. Keep that up, and you may just turn my head. Are you anything like Jack Bauer? If you're a Texas man, it's a given.

We need a "Random Facts About Dave in Texas" thread.

Are you anything like Jack Bauer?

Yes. In a few episodes, Jack's weapon of choice is an HK USP .45, although his preferred weapon seems to be a Sig. p228

But when he carried a .45, we are like, twins or something. Maybe it's the hazel eyes?

Fun Facts about Dave in Texas

He knows more about Thomas Jefferson now than he did in 1976.

groan... when he carries

apologies to Mssrs. Strunk and Wagnall, I do remember you boys telling me subjects must agree with they verbs.

that was me at 1:01, screwing up subject/verb agreement

Don't you mean Strunk and White? Or Funk and Wagnalls? Man, don't be mixing metaphors.

Fun fact #2 about Dave in Texas, when he mixes your metaphors, you'll be nothing but a stain on the ground when it's over. And you'll have to clean it up youself.

*sigh...* white-hotness.

Man, don't be mixing metaphors

It could be just the goobered up engrams, misfiring again. The warranty ran out in 89.

Fun Facts About Jack Bauer: Jack Bauer once killed a man in Reno. To get some information.

He was not watching when the man died.

For the love of everything holy, don't check the root page of this link (http://www.notrly.com/). Just don't. Old men. No clothing. Bad.

How do I know this? No, I didn't check it. I sent the top thirty facts page to my dad, and he checked it out.

Thanks a lot, Dave. You bastard.