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| The "Truth" Behind SluBlog's Whale »
January 20, 2006
Whale in the River ThamesA whale swims merrily through the heart of London: LONDON, England -- Fears are growing among marine experts after what is believed to be a Northern Bottle-nosed Whale was spotted swimming in the River Thames in the heart of London.I blame global warming. And George W. Bush. Goes without saying, really. posted by Slublog at 10:15 AM
CommentsThis is going to take a number of boats and organization to coax it back into deeper water," Martin told Sky News on Friday. Or they could harpoon it. Just a thought. Posted by: Alex_fs on January 20, 2006 10:19 AM
Bet it tastes just like chicken.... Posted by: Retread on January 20, 2006 10:36 AM
The rescue has been called off. Turns out it was just Rosie O'Donnell. Posted by: TallDave on January 20, 2006 10:39 AM
I blame the Jooooooooooooooooos Posted by: Cedarford's Ghost on January 20, 2006 10:51 AM
They should call in Greenpeace, they would have it out of the Thames and double parked in front of a Japanese embassy in no time. Posted by: scott on January 20, 2006 10:54 AM
Northern Bottle-nosed Whales are normally only found in very deep water so the fact it's here probably means it's ill. This is going to take a number of boats and organization to coax it back into deeper water Or you could, ya know, try to cure it before you coaxed it back into deep water. Posted by: JackStraw on January 20, 2006 10:56 AM
I think the real news here is that it's been centuries since the Thames was last clean enough that a whale would even try this. Posted by: Anachronda on January 20, 2006 11:15 AM
Yeah - y'all have no idea how much plastic explosive you can stuff into a bottle-nose whale, do you? Has anybody stopped to consider that Osama bin-Laden might be in international waters doing cetacean research? And not the good kind of research either, the kind that makes 'Day of the Dolphin" look like a walk in the park. I say "don't let that whale near a bridge or any port/dock/oil tranfer locations' That's what I say. Posted by: BumperStickerist on January 20, 2006 11:22 AM
Yeah - y'all have no idea how much plastic explosive you can stuff into a bottle-nose whale, do you? No, but Dave Barry does. Posted by: Anachronda on January 20, 2006 11:25 AM
Whale of a Tale!! Posted by: rls on January 20, 2006 11:40 AM
Actually this may be related to the much improved water quality of the Thames. (I know it still looks brown, but that's the silt). I've been going to London on a fairly regular basis for about 20 years and the water is much improved (as is the smell) due to sensible pollution controls. Fish stocks have improved and water birds (herons, cormarants, etc) are fairly common in London. Posted by: Red Jode on January 20, 2006 11:44 AM
It's Cheney's hammer out for a swim, isn't it? Posted by: spongeworthy on January 20, 2006 12:49 PM
A rescue boat has been sent to protect the whale and rescuers have been trying to keep it away from the river banks. I didn't even know whales had pockets. Posted by: CraigC on January 20, 2006 12:59 PM
Poor thing probably got confused when it started tracking the electro-magnetic impulses given off from Dick Cheney's cock. My guess is it was shooting for the Potomac. Posted by: Chad on January 20, 2006 01:20 PM
. . . to be indicted as ecoterrorists according to british authorities. Posted by: Rich on January 20, 2006 03:59 PM
"This is not going to be an easy job." I know, I just tried googling for "whale recipes" and I didn't find anything good. Where do they begin? Posted by: Sortelli on January 20, 2006 04:24 PM
I like my oceans equatorial Oooo.... Posted by: Pixy Misa on January 20, 2006 06:23 PM
They are tired of the whale watchers their tired of the eco-freaks Posted by: spurwing plover on January 20, 2006 11:46 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Holiday Break: I've had a rough couple of weeks -- the shoulder is healing now and I'm finally getting decent sleep -- and I've decided to take a long weekend.
I'm taking Friday off, and then Monday off, too. I have Open Threads for both days and I will post if big news breaks, but if it doesn't -- and it probably won't, news is slow before a holiday weekend -- I'm going to take a four day weekend.
Sh0eOnHead discusses the Psychotic Cult of Lindsay
Real quotes: "This case has me feeling like I'm on Law & Order with you guys!" "We literally binge true crime as a hobby, we've been trained for this moment" Worth the watch. If you haven't seen the genuinely upsetting insanity motivating thousands of women, you should watch this just to see how society is crumbling. Ban TikTok, Trump. I don't care if Barron tells you it's popular with the yutes. It is an evil Communist China op and it is driving women insane.
Dolly Parton tells the story of the supposedly real-life Jolene
As Andrew Branca says, can we see this Jolene, finally? Who was this hottie that was a genuine sexual threat to Dolly Parton? I think this is Fake News personally. When a magician claims he learned a trick from a Himalayan wise man, I don't believe him either.
Peter Cullen, voice actor for Optimus Prime (among many others) dies at home surrounded by family at age 85
RIP and Roll Out!
TJM discusses the career of Mel Brooks and why High Anxiety just isn't as good as Young Frankentsein
Breaking news: Dolly Parton had a real pair of 38s
Or at least one. She carried it everywhere for protection. This joke brought to you by Benny Hill. And speaking of the British: The Buckingham Palace guard tributed her yesterday
Dolly Parton is badgered into saying something negative about Trump's bus-board locker-room talk, but refuses to bow to the media pressure, telling the twink agitator she learned long ago to "keep your damned mouth shut"
What I'm appreciating is that while her surface is soft and sweet, she's got some actual steel a centimeter underneath.
1977 interview shows that Barbara Walters has always been a seaward and Dolly Parton always had "country class"
Walters actually asks Dolly Parton if she knows that people think she's a joke. This because Walters can't get over the fact that a show-woman has 1, big breasts, and 2, dresses a bit outrageously because, get this, she's an entertainer. A stage performer. You know, someone people pay money to see live and expect them to put on a show. She never would attack Liberace for wearing glitter-tuxedos. But she's mad that Dolly Parton makes Barbara Walters look bad through association (by being a woman). Babs, you wish people associated the two of you. Believe me, we can tell the difference.
TJM talks about the films of Ralph Bakshi, director of the animated The Lord of the Rings and ranks them definitively
This Senator Fought Wildfires From Planes. Now He's Fighting Activists and Bureaucrats "senator tim sheehy on the 'unholy alliance' of environmental rules and activism that's preventing firefighters from doing their jobs..."
[Hat Tip: Pete Bog] [CBD]
Dude trolls a city council meeting about permitting yet another mosque by promising the mosque will destroy the Constitution
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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