"I can't imagine that guys at Halliburton and KBR know they're completely evil, do they?"

How could they? I mean, they're not only evil, they're stupid, right?

I always love how secret global conspiracies are always run by those dumb right-wingers. Simply amazing stuff.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

"much too smug"

It's not so much balance as it is all-encompassing cynicism. That and Stewart is to the (way) left of Clinton and so he is still making fun of the right.

Stewart's very funny, and of course he's a liberal.

And as for being "smug," it would be difficult to outdo G.W.

It's fun to bash Stewart but check out his interview with former CIA chief Woolsey on the 1/18/2005 show. Pretty solid.

And as for being "smug," it would be difficult to outdo G.W.

and yet you make it look so easy!

"as for being smug, it would be difficult to outdo GW".
Difficult is a matter of outlook, but you Mary, with your stinking sanctimony, your eagerness to zing the president at least once in every conversation you engage in, your humorless personality, you, Mary, have outdone GW, and every other human being I have ever met.
Jesus, I'll bet you were a fun person before the lobotomy.

"He's much too smug about his modest gifts."

Really? I'd describe him as self-effacing. He constantly reminds high-profile guests that "you know this is a fake news show, right?"

Also, Stewart really does mock the ineffectiveness of the Democrats quite often, especially John Kerry. For a partisan hack, he sure doesn't seem to have much love for the party.

Very broken link. It reads:

http://ace.mu.nu/archives/%3Cbr%20/%3Ehttp://www.comedycentral.com/motherload/?lnk=v&ml_video=49735&source=OD_VIDEO:undefined:The+Replacement+Killers#

Jason

Simply, Stewart Sucks

rickinstl,
Gee, whenever I read or hear someone say the kinds of things you've written, I hope to God they're not running low on Prozac.

And when you say: "with your stinking sanctimony, your eagerness to zing the president at least once in every conversation you engage in, your humorless personality, you, Mary, have outdone GW, and every other human being I have ever met. Jesus, I'll bet you were a fun person before the lobotomy,"

It makes me wonder;

Have we ever met? No.

Does being critical of George Bush mean that I'm humorless? No.

Or that I've "outdone GW, and every other human being I have ever met." Again, we've never met and I have a hard time even imagining what kind of people someone like you would be socializing with.

As for the lobotomy comment, well, I suggest you take a close look at G.W. and read of the inane statements he makes on a regular basis. I think they call them; "Bushisms," and they ARE genuinely funny.

Oh, and I agree with scarshapedstar when he says: Stewart is self effacing, not smug.

wiserbud,
If Stewart "sucks," why do so many people watch his show?

Oh, and you DO realize he's a comedian, doing a comedy show on the Comedy Network.

Humor/Comedy is extremely subjective.

That's why I can understand why someone like you probably likes those Saturday morning cartoons, versus late night comedy, but I don't care.

mean that I'm humorless? No.

I'm not just taking our word for it. Prove it. Say something funny.

I don't think you can.

I've never found him funny. He strikes me as one of those guys who really, deep down inside, thinks he's better than the horde of unwashed masses to whom he shovels his purposefully lowbrow humor so they can yuck it up. He's not so much funny as he is smarmy.

And yes, lots of people like him. Lots of people liked disco, too. Doesn't make it good.

JImmie ,
You people are a real hoot.

Comparing Stewart, an intelligent, topical and funny man, to disco.

Do any of you actually read newspapers, periodicals or books?

Just because YOU don't like the guy and hate the fact that he's obviously not in Bush's corner, certainly doesn't mean he's not talented, funny, etc.

Do you people ONLY laugh at Republican comedians?

Or ONLY go to movies starring Republican actors/actresses?

Good God, we get it: You support G.W., but are you freaking robots?

Howie:
Here's an actual quote from your namesake:

"I don't remember that I ever was President."

Now, that's funny.

Describing Mary as humorless would be like describing the surface of the sun as balmy.

Is this what happens when women get all dried up "down there" from lack of use?

You people are a real hoot.

That is pretty funny, so I take it back.

You know what else is funny? Trolls like you who wander into any thread to take a contrary position on any topic at all just because of their perception of the political views of the opponent, especially over something as subjective as whether people find Jon Stewart amusing or not. Now THAT'S funny.

Did I say funny? I meant pathetic.

Mary M. says:
"Howie:
Here's an actual quote from your namesake:

"I don't remember that I ever was President."

Now, that's funny.
"

Oh sweetheart...do you even know what namesake means? Poor baby. Did you attend secondary school?

Ace: nice juxtaposition. You whine about how Jon Stewart isn't funny, and 22 minutes later type an entry about how your own attempt at humor fell flat. That's why he has a successful TV comedy show and career as a comedian, and you are, in all probability, sitting in your mother's basement typing on a cheeto-stained keyboard.

Monica,
Yes, I do know what namesake means.

And, since Howie is using William Howard Taft as his moniker, I thought, you know, oh, never mind.

Dave,
Based on your silly postings, you have to be one of the most uneducated, ignorant and rude people I have ever encountered on the internet.

Just because I say that I like Stewart and think he's funny, I'm referred to as a Troll, that takes "contrary" positions to everyone on the thread?

What?

Why do I have to agree?

Isn't discourse the point of these blogs, threads, discussions, debates?

Personally, I could care less if he was a Democrat, Republican, Libertarian or whatever. Hes's a comedian, not running for office.

And, are you really trying to say that NO ONE likes the man? No one thinks he's funny? Witty, etc.?

I find that rather hard to believe.

Bob Munck,
As Gene Wilder would say: "On the nosey."

The Warden,
When you say things like this: "Is this what happens when women get all dried up "down there" from lack of use?"

Are you also referring to your mother?

What a disgusting and creepy little man you are.

you are, in all probability, sitting in your mother's basement typing on a cheeto-stained keyboard.

Ace blogs upstairs, in his bedroom, with the door closed and locked so his mommy doesn't barge in and "brake his rhythm" (if you know what I mean)

BTW, those aren't cheeto stains on his keyboard!

Mary M. -

"you are, in all probability, sitting in your mother's basement typing on a cheeto-stained keyboard."

You insensitive bitch. Ace's mom died by choking on a Cheeto.

Mary, a lot of people watch Dancing With the Stars and American Idol and any other asinine garbage that is tossed up onthe boob tube. That don't make it good.

So he makes you laugh. Good for you. eventually, when you grow up, you'll see that he is a smug, snide, pseudo-intellectual with the mental depth of Spongebob Squarepants. His "brilliant" insights are a sop to the left-wing losers who think that it's cool to make fun of things they don't understand. I tried to wacth him when he took over The Daily Show and yes, I thought he was amusing, until he started with the holier-than-thou attitude.

And, just so you know...he has a ton of writers. If this were all coming from one mind, then cool, at least he has some talent, but most of his stuff is fed to him for his approval. "Do this over, it doesn't make me look sophisticated and witty enough."

Get over yourself and recognize that others might just have opinions that don't blindly fall in line with the PC bullshit, braindead crowd.

But, at least you have friends.

steve_in_hb,
Escuse me? I have no idea what you're talking about.

"Just because I say that I like Stewart and think he's funny, I'm referred to as a Troll, that takes "contrary" positions to everyone on the thread?

No. Mary, you are a troll because of comments like "you hate the fact that he's obviously not in Bush's corner".

I thought Jon Stewart was stilted and completely unfunny way back when he was hosting "Short Attention Span Theater" and the network was called the Comedy Channel. I am still amazed at his success since that time given his very limited talent.

Oh, and Clinton was president then, too, so apparently there might be other reasons to dislike Stewart than because he disses W. My guess is, making fun of "them ignorant red-staters and their chimp" is the ONLY thing you find funny, and you just can't comprehend anyone not thinking it equally hysterical.

P.S. Mary, the correct phrase is "I COULDN'T care less". When you say "I COULD care less you are actually contradicting the point you are trying to make.

Which is pretty amusing, given that you made that elementary school error in a post where you were calling someone else"undeducated and ignorant."

Of course, I hit "post" before I corrected my own typos. Doh!

Did I pull a "boner"?

Dave,
Based on your silly postings, you have to be one of the most uneducated, ignorant and rude people I have ever encountered on the internet.

So I've made an impression on you, have I?

Sweet.

By the way, you're wrong about Taft and Howie.

Not that you aren't wrong about other things too. I just picked this example.

And, just so you know...he has a ton of writers.

Mel Brooks has writers. Jonathan Winters had writers. Sid Caesar had writers. The Three Stooges had writers (except for Shemp). Ernie Kovacs had writers. Even Steve Allen had writers, and lord knows he didn't need them.

Ace obviously doesn't have any writers.

Bob Munck,

I pity you almost as much as I do Mary M.

Weakness of mine. She gets more love cause she's a little more retarded.

Hey, Dave, I've lived in Texas. The pity is mutual.

Retards, for example, have problems sorting through the written word.

are you really trying to say that NO ONE likes the man? No one thinks he's funny?

Ah, no. I'm not. I'm saying it's really cute you feel so compelled to jump into a discussion thread and insist he really is funny to people who don't think so.

It's like telling a racist joke, and laughing your little retarded ass off, and then saying "What? c'mon. that's funny. It's just a joke".

wiserbud:
What is it with you?

When you say: "Good for you. eventually, when you grow up, you'll see that he is a smug, snide, pseudo-intellectual with the mental depth of Spongebob Squarepants, "

What in the world are you basing that on...other than your personal opinion?

And as for his "brilliant" insights: I'm sorry, but he makes fun of damn near everybody, not just Bush and his cronies.

And, "the left-wing losers who think that it's cool to make fun of things they don't understand"??

Exactly what is it the liberals, at least according to you again, "don't understand?"

Stewart has a "holier-than-thou attitude"???

I've never heard anyone say anything like that about him. Some like him, some don't, but where does this holier than thou comment come from?

And, as for writers, of course I know he has plenty of 'em, they ALL do.

And what in the wide world of comedy does this mean??:

"Get over yourself and recognize that others might just have opinions that don't blindly fall in line with the PC bullshit, braindead crowd."

If you actually think the Daily Show is "politically correct, you're watching the wrong show.

Strange indeed.

Hey Bob.

We miss you.

yep, they all had writers. Yet, Stewart acts, and is treated, like some kind of Wise and Briliant Soothsayer, sent to us from on high to show us all the error of our ways.

Oh,he made that funny face again, to show us all how much more intelligent he is than the rest of us. {tee hee} Let us all bow down to the master.

Come on, he is playing to his audience and that's all. Quit giving him all of this credit for being such a superior commentator who speaks truth to power.

Dave,
When you say: "By the way, you're wrong about Taft and Howie."

In what way?

Bob Munck,
You're wasting your time with these people. They only want to know what they already believe to be so.

Jon Stewart isn't funny because he makes fun of Bush. He's not talented because he makes fun of Bush. He doesn't make much money...oh, sorry, he actually makes about 30 million a year. (That would be about $29,975,000 more than any of these yahoos make.)

As for the idiot from Texas, you hit that one on the head.

If I had to live in that God forsaken state, I'd probably be depressed, too.

wiserbud,
He's the host, moron. That's what he's paid to do.

Get a job, see what it's like to have a pay check.

Jesus, Mary (and Joseph), what are you, his freakin' agent?

Yes...MY OPINION! I Believe he is not as wonderful as he is made out to be because I have watched and read interviews with him. I Believe the Daily Show is overwhelmingly left-leaning based on watching it and seeing Jon constantly whine about how the Dems can't find better candidates to take out Bush and his team.

And as for what those on the left don't understand, that is a list that could take the rest of the night to type and would likely take up Ace's entire server.

in what way?

In like, the only way you could be wrong. Are we going too fast for you?

I'd probably be depressed, too.

And we would get some twisted sense of pleasure from that, I'm not proud to say. Are you feeling ok about yourself now though?

Hey Mary M.!!! What's your measurements? If you can beat Nee's 120-22-31, I'll make you my new girlfriend.
Promise.

he's paid to be a smug, smarmy wise-ass. Fine. Are you paid to suck him off like this?

Ahh, I see Otho found a new fascination. I threw it out there, and you can't resist yourself.

somebody liberal stole the title of capra's inspired series for an anti-war crapfest?
lame
the old series showed what could be accomplished when the media elite weren't a buncha traitors and fucktards. with the current crop in charge of hollywood back then they'd be speaking german in london these days

Mary, betcha didn't know that Dave was a born a poor black child. Kinda changes things, don't it?

So Jon Stewart makes $30M a year for spewing his unfunny leftist bile (taking Mary's word for the income part, as I do not care enough about him to check for myself)...

How much are you making for doing the same thing, Mary?

(OK, that's not really fair. I've actually laughed at Mary several times - which is more than I can say for Jon Stewart.)

Mary M. is Stewart incognito. Nobody loves him that much.

Stewart is funnier than Margaret Cho, but not as funny as just about any other liberal comedian that anybody can think of.

Thirty million dollars a year?

No way. That's more than Leno and Letterman combined. And Dave and Jay have more than the paltry >500,000 in daily viewership.

Well, according to E Online, he made $1.5 million in 2004.

I'm still thinking Mary has lot of catching up to do.

awwwww, Mary.

did you make up a fact? unnecessarily? cause it like, didn't even make your point?

that is soooo cute

Proper humor is more than one man taking advantage of another man's obvious flaws. A true comedian is creative and original; and will fight to the death if his liberty is threatened.

~Thomas Jefferson

So this is what it has come down to - "Damn it, admit Jon Stewart is funny."

Almost as intellectually enriching as "Damn it, admit Bolton's mustache is extremely revealing of his character flaws and need to compensate for feelings of inadequacy."

Mary -

First, I apologize for my remark earlier, I should have directed it towards Bob.

I find Stewart funny in "Half Baked" every time I watch it. However, everytime I watch it, I am completely baked.

steve_in_hb:

"However, everytime I watch it, I am completely baked."

Yes, that would make a lot of unfunny things seem hilarious...but I don't think it would help with Margaret Cho.

P.S. You owe me a new monitor because of the comment about Ace's mom choking on a Cheeto.

P.P.S. The Asian sweater-stuffers? Eeyew.

You insensitive bitch. Ace's mom died by choking on a Cheeto.

Escuse me? I have no idea what you're talking about.

TA DAAA!

No, its not your politics that makes you humorless.
But you are most definitely humorless.

That joke was such a soft pitch, it might actually have been meant to make you chuckle and and chill out with the conversation a bit.
Your reply?

Stilted, snippy, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

You might have well said, "Well, I never," with a little breathy sniff of disdain.

You? Humorless? Nooooo

lauraw -

Unfortunately, I screwed up. It was Bob Munk(sp?) who made the basement/cheetoh comment. I mistakenly attributed it to Mary.

However, I agree she is probably lacking in humor. Her personality reminds me of my mom - and thats not a good thing.

Eh, fake but accurate.

Mary I have just one question: After you polish off yet another Saturday night by frigging yourself to John Stewart, do your fingers burn as though they'd been dipped in acid?

Just curious.

Warden, that is some high-octane flaming.

You need to be over in the flame thread with that sort of ammunition.

Ace, you nailed Stewart (and not the way I'd like to). I also find his manner grating--but you're right he is "much too smug about his modest gifts."

Good post.

TJ,

word

Mary - "it makes me wonder, have we ever met"?

I guess it's possible, I go to Taco Bell once in a while.
You see honey, the reason nobody likes you is that you stuck your nose in here for the express purpose of starting a fight using nothing more than tired lefty snark. People here like to have fun. To be funny. To discuss things topical and not so topical with a light touch. They mostly like each other, even when they don't agree. You, you're just a wet-blanket pain in the ass. In other words, you're repulsive. Sorry to be blunt, but it's pretty obvious you're mom wasn't paying attention through your teens.

Mary,

His "self-effacement" to me always comes off as someone who thinks he is superior but knows he has to do some self-deprecation to not show it so much.

Then again, part of the problem may be he has to make fun of the news/politicians and therefore it all looks a bit 20/20 hindsight.

Vie,
Buy yourself a calendar, moron. It's 2006 and Stewart has re-negotiated twice since then, oh...and also wrote a book that was on the best seller list for about 6 months...and signed numerous endorsement and future project deals.

You're out of your league here.

Like I said, you dolts need to read more...and talk less.

Mary M.

Hello.

Vile,
YOU: "Of course, I hit "post" before I corrected my own typos. Doh!

Did I pull a "boner"? (No, you ARE a boner.)

Typos are typos...yours and mine...and I stick to my statement that most of the people on this thread are uneducated an ignorant.

Dave,
Hello...we all know.

Bob Munck,
You're wasting your time with these people. They only want to know what they already believe to be so.

Oh look, Rod has a little friend. Isn't that cute?

Good. Start cooking the food.

Aaron,
Do you think any of the dolts on this thread ever heard of the word: "shtick"

Stewart is merely doing a routine...one, by the way that will make him millions and millions and millions over the year via syndication, etc. (You know, like Rush's shtick...or Hannity's shtick, etc.)

Jimmy Burrows and the Charles brothers made more than 200 million apiece from Cheers over the first 20 years and are still pulling in money to this day.

The people here just hate Stewart's railing on G.W....why?

Because most of them are no more than right wing sycophants and just can't stand hearing what they don't already believe.

The people here just hate Stewart's railing on G.W....why?

I hate it I hate it I hate it ... and I don't even know why. I think about it constantly.

Well, two or three times a year.

in 05. Not so much in 04.

Davey,
Oh, please, it's bad enough you have to live in Texas, but we all know you spend half your life on this blog, bitching and whining about anything anybody says about your little hero.

Here's a suggestion: Get a life.

Christ, Mary, you're spikier than a bag of toenails.

If it makes you feel better, I think Dennis Miller is even less funny that Jon Stewart.

Now, where's that happy face? I know you've got one!

Here's a suggestion: Get a life.

This from the twat who has nothing better to do than troll here calling people "dolts."

Kettle. Pot. Some aseembly required.

Geee, Zit,
You're still using the term "twat" to describe women who scare you?

I bet you're a little guy, too.

5'3"...5'4"...tops.

Weasel,
Miller used to be very funny. I think he got bored with the whole thing.

6'2', Hairy.

And the only thing about you that scares me is that you might actually vote.

Zit,
Men who call women "twats" are small-minded, insecure creeps.

But, don't take my word for it; Run it by your mother, sister or wife and see what they think.

So Mary, what's your point? Is there a point other than: your opinion differs from most of the opinions here? Let's just hear your encapsulation and move on - this thread is so devoid of insight, wit, or humor that it should be put out of its misery.

Assuming you actually are a woman, which I have no reason to believe, it really doesn't matter. You're a troll, first and foremost. You satrted with the insults and now you want to run away and cry "Waaaahhhh! The nasty sexist Republican insulted me!" So, please feel free to fuck off and die.

You're wasting your time with these people

irony is so, what's the word? ironic

Here's a suggestion: Get a life.

That is one hell of a suggestion, thanks! I am going to consider that this afternoon.

Will having a life be more fun than mocking you?

Trade-off, I'm guessing.

Ya know, a thought occurs to me...

"Mary M." could just be PLV once again pretending to be someone else. Replace "dolts" with "fags" and the M.O. is remarkably similar.

geoff,
I thought this thread was about Jon Stewart, but if you have something witty or insightful to add, be our guest.

Davey,
Look, you're the one who chose to live in Texas.

You're the one without a real life.

You're the one who's witless.

Deal with it.

I thought this thread was about Jon Stewart, but if you have something witty or insightful to add, be our guest.

Not at all, I'm just interested in mercy killing the poor, wizened thing. So did you have a point, or no?

Zit,
Sorry, little man, I am who I am.

And, please, why not pick yourself up a dictionary or maybe you could take some of those English courses you skipped or were unable to attend because of incarceration.

Words like "fag" and "twat" only further illustrate how insecure you are.

But, don't take my word for it; Run it by your mother, sister or wife and see what they think

Mary M.. I just ran it by your mom and sister and they don't mind at all. not at all.

I'm smarter than all you dolts! Get a life! I'll be back later to tell you some more how much I smarter I am than you are.

WAHHH!!! Mean conservatives are beating up on womyn!!!

I'm smarter than all you dolts! Get a life! I'll be back later to tell you some more how much I smarter I am than you are.

Well said twat

Heh. Womyn.

Wow. Mary is like the twatiest twat in Twatsville.

When do you all suppose the last time is this smelly Yeti got laid?

Deal with it.

I will do that.

Thank you, Mary M.!

What a sorry bunch of insecure little boys.

I suggest you read; "The Guy In The Glass"

Maybe one of you will actually learn something about being a real man.

So you didn't really have an additional point?

Can you tell me who wrote that Mary M.? I want to go see if I can find it on Amazon.

Thanks!

Maybe one of you will actually learn something about being a real man.

Does it involve having long, dirty hair, smelling like dope and unwashed crotch, marching in candlelight vigils, and reading dopey liberal literature?

What a pathetic bunch of losers. But rather than leaving, I'm going to stick around so I can tell you all how smart I am. Oh, did I mention that I'm smart?

The Guys in the Glass? What the fuck is that supposed to mean, anyway?

Mary -

I already suppress all my emotions except anger. I drink and then lash out at my loved ones. I have emotionless sex with girls (not women, anything over 23 is old) and then brag about it to my friends.

What more is there to being a man?

The Guy In The Glass,
Peter "Dale" Wimbrow Sr. 1934

hmm. Is it still in publication?

Or even better, do you happen to know who published it? Sometimes that helps you find a used copy.

thanks again!

I only wish Amazon's overnight delivery charge wasn't so much....

Jon Stewart takes a 5 second clip of someone who is farther to the right than himself and highlights their absurdity with a "you've got to be kidding me" look, or a facetious comment, and repeats until half his show is filled up. Whether these clips are entirely out of context or not is irrelevant, they're stickin it to them dumb neocon cowboys from Texas! Yeehaa!

Some people believe that is not funny and not impressive. Can you learn to accept that without being a damn snob? You say:

"Comparing Stewart, an intelligent, topical and funny man, to disco.

Do any of you actually read newspapers, periodicals or books?

Just because YOU don't like the guy and hate the fact that he's obviously not in Bush's corner, certainly doesn't mean he's not talented, funny, etc.

Do you people ONLY laugh at Republican comedians?

Or ONLY go to movies starring Republican actors/actresses?

Good God, we get it: You support G.W., but are you freaking robots?"

...and expect people to think you're anything more than a hate filled liberal who, despite protestations to tolerance and understanding, can't accept someone who has had experiences that incline them towards opinions that diverge from your own? I'd say every few episodes Mr. Stewart pauses and takes a critical look at the other side of the aisle, often simply to lament the fact that with fools like this it's gonna be awfully tough to take down those evil republicans, and the absence of which would make his left leaning bias so much more blatantly obvious even some democrats would get nauseous. So people who DO support the president or conservatives in general should be rolling in laughter at this? If there was a comedy show that featured a conservative comedian who spent 90% of his time showing clips of liberals saying or doing questionable things, often out of context, and generally acting as though any contrary view would be foolish, you're going to tell me you'd be sitting there watching it and/or would be of the opinion that he was talented, insightful, and hilarious? Your comments give me pause.

Also, I think it's pretty obvious that people don't think he's funny because political humor, whether you agree with the comedian or not, should probably at least be intellectually honest and shouldn't depend on cheap shots.

Well, as you can see by the latest postings, my point was right on the mark. As for comments about how "smart" I think I am...all you have to do is read some of the responses and it doesn't take much to outdo this bunch.

Between Zit (Mr. Insecurity), The Warden (gives Neanderthals a bad name), Mary Mopes (whatever),
little stevie (just a another punk), geoff (brains of a titmouse), and of course, God Texas Sucks Davey...what more can I say?

Read the poem...expand your mind...if that's possible.

So Obviously Tongue in Cheek . . .

Thank goodness - I thought we were in for another TJ thread.

what more can I say?

the suspense is killing us

Maybe you could post a little snipetof the poem (just a little taste, if you will ) for us while we wait for the mail...

January...or whoever you are (gutless perhaps?)

When you say: "Also, I think it's pretty obvious that people don't think he's funny because political humor, whether you agree with the comedian or not, should probably at least be intellectually honest and shouldn't depend on cheap shots."

If it's so "obvious" that Stewart is not funny...what's he doing on the tube five nights a week? And what's with that Oscar host nod? (Oh, and remember: YOU DON'T HAVE TO WATCH...that's why they have those little knobs and buttons on the Tee-Vee...and the Ree-Mote)

But, hey...maybe what you're really trying to say is this: YOU and many on this thread don't think he's funny...so everybody else can't possibly think he's funny...right?

And what's with the "hate filled liberal" comment? Is this just another way of saying that if I don't agree with G.W. Bush or the right wing agenda, I must be hate filled? C'mon, even YOU can do better than that.

Duh.

Thanks Mary - uh, remind me again when it was that I insulted you on this thread?

And if you think Wimbrow's trite little doggerel is "mind expanding," then I highly recommend the philosophical works of Shel Silverstein. Or perhaps you'd prefer your self-actualization pablum served up via pop lyrics. It's hard to tell with someone of your extraordinary erudition.

But, hey...maybe what you're really trying to say is this: YOU and many on this thread don't think he's funny...so everybody else can't possibly think he's funny...right?

No, dim-bulb. They were saying that they don't think he's funny. Nice strawman, though.

And what's with the "hate filled liberal" comment? Is this just another way of saying that if I don't agree with G.W. Bush or the right wing agenda, I must be hate filled?

I think it was clearly pointed out that your "hate" is observed in your comments in this very thread. Nice misdirection, though.

Sorry, I forgot who I dealing with:

The Guy in the Glass

by Dale Wimbrow, (c) 1934

When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,

And the world makes you King for a day,

Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,

And see what that guy has to say.

For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,

Who judgement upon you must pass.

The feller whose verdict counts most in your life

Is the guy staring back from the glass.

He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,

For he's with you clear up to the end,

And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test

If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,

And think you're a wonderful guy,

But the man in the glass says you're only a bum

If you can't look him straight in the eye.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,

And get pats on the back as you pass,

But your final reward will be heartaches and tears

If you've cheated the guy in the glass.

what more can I say?

You found more to say! Good for you Mary M.

I was on the edge of my seat here, I tell you what.

(that's a Texas expression, "I tell you what". Maybe you've heard it on King of the Hill? We sure have a lot of funny expressions)

No, you're hate filled because your thesis seems to be that if you're a republican, conservative, or somehow support GW and don't think Stewart is funny then you're an uneducated, dumb hick, and "a robot."

The only one afraid of opinions here is you. Others are giving you a hard time because you can't keep the snobbish contempt out of your writing for more than a couple words. I am fine with others thinking Stewart is funny. I admit he some great moments, but ultimately have to conclude he isn't all that funny because he has to rely on cheap tactics slanted heavily against those who aren't liberal. I have a problem with people insinuating that I'm inferior to them because I think he isn't. I also gave reasons why he isn't...and how does him being popular disprove any point I made? It proves others think he is funny...and?

Our father, Peter "Dale" Wimbrow Sr. wrote the poem "The Guy in the Glass in 1934. It was published in the American magazine at that time and the copyright was assigned to our father. The poem has become also known, incorrectly, as "The Man in the Glass" or sometimes, "The Man in the Mirror", but the thought is the same, the message clear...'you can fool the whole world down the pathway of years, but you can't fool the guy staring back from the glass'

Since he wrote the poem in 1934 and it was published, it has taken on a life of its' own and is usually seen as anonymous. Sadly somepeople have even taken to putting their name on it as their own creation. It escapes us as to why someone would falsely take credit for a poem about being honest with your self. One fellow in Salt Lake City, Utah said he wrote it in 1946 and the list goes on. Others have badly misquoted the poem, substituting the word 'self' for 'pelf', 'man in the glass' for 'guy in the glass' and others have left out other parts. Each word was chosen by him carefully and has special meaning. We are immensely proud of his work and welcome any and all dialogue from interested parties. Our hope here is just to set the record straight and to provide the poem as it was actually written for any and all to use as our father's gift to the world. Our father was the most gifted and caring person we ever knew.... he would have wanted his work to be a gift and so do we. All we ask is that you properly credit him somewhere in your publication as the author

That's a great poem Mary M.

Here's one I like:

It's easy to grin
When your ship comes in
And you've got the stock market beat.
But the man worthwhile,
is the man who can smile,
when his shorts are too tight in the seat.

- J. Smails

geoff:
Calling you an idiot isn't heateful...it's fun.

JHC - I didn't think you'd get her to actually post it. And after the So Obviously Tongue in Cheek. Maybe we will have a TJ thread.

Hey Mary. I don't quite follow the theme, there. Is the mirror a metaphor for something or other? Could you help me out here - I 'd love to expand my mind.

It isn't hateful either.

Ha!

"brains of a titmouse"

Mary - a true intellectual wouldn't have to work blue. Anybody can make their point using naughty words. Come on, you're better than that.

My father is a writer/journalist and I was reading Animal Farm, Catch-22, Kafka, Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, etc by the fifth grade. Do they count as reading books, periodicals, etc?

Sorry, I can't do this anymore. It's like laughing at retards.

Come on, you're better than that.

You know, she's really not. This is pretty much it.

No one was more surprised than me. When people tell me how smart they are, I usually give them the benefit of the doubt.

geoff, it's not hate man. it's "tough love"

Bitches aint shit
but hos and tricks
lick on my nuts
then suck my dick
Dr. Dre

Oh and Mary M. when you cut and paste material it's usually nice to at least put quotes around the text, and maybe mention where you got it.

geoff, it's not hate man. it's "tough love"

Hey - I wasn't the guy who wrote the "hate" thing in the first place.

DaveinTX: You're the Jefferson expert - what did he say about Wimbrow? Something like: "The works of Peter Wimbrow will someday be highly rated, but not overtly so?"

I'm looking at the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
No message could be any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and make a change

Na na na nanan na nahhhhh

-Michael Jackson

geoff, I left my copy of Stuff Jefferson Said in the study - I'll have to look it up when I get home.

That does sound right though. It was either "overrated" or "not attributed",

or he called him a pimp. Can't quite remember.

That does sound right though.

Hah - I knew majoring in liberal arts would come in useful sometime.

Damn you The Warden -

When I was in college, Dukakis was on the presidential campaign trail. He used that as a theme song and it played on a continuous loop while his people set up the stage, mikes, etc. That took several hours - directly outside my dorm room window. The Secret Service would not allow us to leave the building. The slightest snippet sets my teeth on edge because I had to listen to it looping over and over for hours.

Thanks for proving my point, once again.

There must be, what...5-10 of you dolts on this thread, and literally every one of you has jumped on the idiot-wagon, trashing little ol' me...and why?

Because I don't like little Georgie and his cadre of corrupt assholes or think you're all "witty" or that Jon Stewart isn't funny.

And, for your information, it's not that I'm so smart...it's that you people are just plain ignorant and close-minded.

P.S. Oh, and steve_in_hb...if you think anybody on this thread, even the really, really dumb ones...believe you were out riding your little bicycle while reading Catch-22, Kafka, Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire when you were ten years old...you may be the dumbest of the dumb, and if your father is actually a "writer/journalist," he must be wondering what he did wrong.

And boy, if you actually think "brains of a titmouse" is working "blue"...that's scary.

Mary M. you got any more neat poems?

Hey Mary, how many cats do you have?

Mary,

Aren't the other 'patients' getting upset that you're hogging the computer?

And boy, if you actually think "brains of a titmouse" is working "blue"...that's scary.

Right after she tells Steve she doesn't believe he isn't an idiot.

This is just too delicious.

Mary, you ever look at the GAL in the mirror?

"There must be, what...5-10 of you dolts on this thread, and literally every one of you has jumped on the idiot-wagon, trashing little ol' me...and why?

Because I don't like little Georgie and his cadre of corrupt assholes or think you're all "witty" or that Jon Stewart isn't funny.

And, for your information, it's not that I'm so smart...it's that you people are just plain ignorant and close-minded."

People are jumping on you because you are a snarky, arrogant, hypocrtical little brat, not because you think Jon Stewart is funny. You jump right on this thread and start telling everyone they're stupid, ignorant, assholes, close minded, etc.. You're whole argument is that, because we don't find Jon Stewart funny we're ignorant and close minded. I don't think anyone here has a problem with someone thinking he's funny, but people tend to get a bit defensive when insults are flung their way. You wanna like Jon Stewart? Fine. You wanna be a liberal? Dandy...just don't waltz over to a right-of-center blog and start telling people their opinion is dumb, and then hypocritically act like we're trying to attack YOU for YOUR opinion. If you want people to respect your opinion you should probably learn to respect theirs, or at least get better at pretending like you do.

Looking back over this thread it seems like she's missed a number of these.

You guys getting tired of toying with the 'tard?

pretty much, yeah.

Mary M and boys,

Thought I'd come over to play. I am a hate-filled beeotch and I have loved every man on this thread. Extremely thoroughly. They don't look at the man in the glass, they look at me.

"You guys getting tired of toying with the 'tard?"

What do you mean? I really feel that her poem is incredible insightful, and has made me look inside myself, or rather, look at the "fellar in the mirror". I'm not sure I like what I see. It spoke to me, especially this line

"You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye."

That's fucking golden.

On the other hand, Mary M. is an insufferable cunt.

"You guys getting tired of toying with the 'tard?"

What do you mean? I really feel that her poem is incredible insightful, and has made me look inside myself, or rather, look at the "fellar in the mirror". I'm not sure I like what I see. It spoke to me, especially this line

"You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye."

That's fucking golden.

On the other hand, Mary M. is an insufferable cunt.

MON

I've been mainly lurking because I wanted to see Dave pull out the troll-basher. Remember that one Dave?

That poen gets so close to Chancing a Spring Awakening its not even funny.

And so does the poem.

Is the guy staring back from the glass.
He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,

I get it now, its a poem about George Michael.

At any rate, you cannot disagree with Mary that the guy is funny; because it pleases her intellectual vanity to laugh along with that set.

If her political opinions were fought for through her own powers of reason, she would have no need to lash out at his detractors.

Mock a woman's vanity at your peril...this kind of sticky troleryl is the likely result.

trollery.

I need a drink.

I get it now, its a poem about George Michael.

Ah, so "chisel a plum", is a homosexual reference. This poetry stuff is hard.

Well said Laura...about the drink too.

brewfan, I do, but she ain't even close to worth that.

Mary Mary Mary you cold thumb suckin
Lookin for you, but you keep duckin
I wanna find you, I gotta tell you somethin
So just be quiet and don't say NUTTIN
Mary Mary Mary why you out there stuntin?
Supposed to be with me, but not you're FRONTIN
We started out new, you used to be true
Now you're buggin, what's wrong with you?

"Mary, Mary.." WHY YA BUGGIN?
"Mary, Mary.." I NEED YA HUGGIN

I don't really care whether you believe me or no - but it's true. Don't use your standards to judge others' capabilities.

The point I was trying to make is if you are truly confident in your intellect you don't have to walk around telling everybody else how dumb they are. Also, you can feel free to have fun with stupid crap. The man who gave his kid Catch-22 to read also pulled his son out school for a day to take him to a Bugs Bunny film festival.

You are like the scholars Nietzsche talked about who refused to accept something important could be expressed with wit. He talked about them ponderously getting their machinery working. Steam building up, valves opening, levers moving - and producing nothing of interest.

People are playing with you because you are so ponderously obvious.

Mary, Mary

My dad was a writer/journalist. And we even listened to Mozart in my house. And went to museums and science camps. And played chess. And went to Broadway shows. And watched black and white movies. And went to historical landmarks.

Don't forget, I'm Jewish, so I get an automatic +1 to my Intellectual stats roll.

stevie-boy,

WOW...you listened to Mozart!!!!!!!!!!!! And you went to Broadway shows!!!!!!!!!!!! And you watched black and white TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And played chess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And landmarks, too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, that proves it. You're a frigging genius, because, hey, who else in America has ever done things like that?????????????

(Actually I doubt if 99% of the idiots on this board have, bt that's another story.)

P.S. And now we have...lauraw...just what this thread needs...another dolt who thinks they're witty...and I'm glad your Jewish. (What are you doing hanging around with these knuckle-dragging wingnuts...'cause I'll lay long odds most of them hate the Jews, almost as much as liberals...or Jon Stewart.)

P.S. P.S. Well, gotta go...it's cocktail time at the beach. (Sorry, Davey...but it's one long-ass walk to the beach from where you live.)

What is it with these fuckwit liberal trolls and their ellipses?

There goes the slattern of logic - flouncing off never realizing that her level of understanding and humor never actually rose to the level of full participation in the thread. Not only a shrew, but a shrew with a complete lack of cognizance of just how appallingly clueless she is.

zetetic:

My theory is that they cannot sustain rational thought long enough to construct a grammatically correct sentence. So, they dash off mindless phrases that they think are profound, separated by ellipses, in an effort to make the product look like it's supposed to be intentionally casual and cool, rather than retarded.

Ok Mary. I'm done. You are a black hole of conversation - all light and humor sucked into your dark, crushing maw. Make sure you give lots of booze to your companions. Lots of booze.

I think I'll head to the beach also, remind myself that there really is light and energy out there.

My goodness. We hate the Jews now?? GW didn't send me that memo. You know things are going bad when you're learning your marching orders from a liberal.

Seriously though, Mary, you live in a sad, scary, and very simple world.

Actually, it's so sad I'm beginning to think you're not for real.

Is this a big joke I'm not in on? I mean this is the first thread I've commented on so if you're all laughing at me I need to know.

Upon further consideration, Mary's right about one thing: I shouldn't have called her a twat, and for that, I'm truly sorry.

"Cunt" would have been much more appropriate.

Is this a big joke I'm not in on? I mean this is the first thread I've commented on so if you're all laughing at me I need to know.

Naw, she's been this stupid on other threads as well. Welcome to the ranks.

I told her on another thread that the conservative friends she claimed she discussed issues with must either be deaf or saints. I forgot the third possibility, which I'm now convinced is the case: she's got big boobs. And her pontoons and her temper have carried her through life, leading to the charming harridan we now confront.

Zetetic, apologizing was very big of you. Well done.

Does Mary M. win the "most humorless biatch since, well, ever" award? She's definitely in the running.

It's alright guys - I'm only half Jewish, so you only have to kind of hate me. You know, keep me around to do your taxes, but say nasty stuff behind my back.

Oh, dear god. This thread hurts to read. My back teeth -- the ones with the amalgam fillings -- are throbbing like caffeinated weasel hearts.

Mary, darlin'...go home. Go home to people who love you. Flee this place. Don't look back.

Did that cunt say "cocktail time on the beach"? Then the stupid twat called Dave in Texas, Davey? It's hard to pick on someone who thinks cocktails on the beach is a cool thing to do. I'll give you 100/1 that she is a big Bette Midler fan.

Actually Geoff, without having any concrete first hand evidence, I'd say that's a damn near certainty.

I'm sometimes stunned at the monsters that are made through pampering and passive acceptance simply because the she's too pleasing on the eyes to contradict. Thank god for the internet because it's probably the first time she's ever been called on her rubbish. Unfortunately, it sounds like it's far far too late for her.

cocktails on the beach

I think she sleeps on the beach

Wait, so now we hate jews like Steve?

I thought all us evil neo-cons were fighting wars for Israel and taking orders from our Israeli masters?

So maybe it's some sort of love hate relationship?

I'm so confused.

Brad -

Be at ease my child. You can still hate Jews. Just think of yourself as using Israel to further imperialistic ambitions against Arabs.

I know Brad. It's complicated, maybe even nuanced. We should probably just leave things to our liberal betters; they seem to understand this stuff quite well.

Just think of yourself as using Israel to further imperialistic ambitions against Arabs.

Oh, I get it. That way we can also punish Israel for its poor treatment of the noble Palestinian freedom fighters.

And now we have...lauraw...just what this thread needs...another dolt who thinks they're witty...

Relax, Mary.

I know you need to get a good nights sleep so you can go back to the Nuclear Propulsion Lab and continue your important work.

Say, any of you other dolts remember a troll who always signed off with 'got to go have cocktails on the beach?'

"Be at ease my child. You can still hate Jews."

But, I didn't even know that I did. I thought I was helping fight Israel's wars in the Middle East. You seem like a nice guy Steve, I'm really disappointed to find out I hate you.(and...I'm sorry, I had no idea)

So am I pro-Israelly, but anti-Jewish?

As someone mentioned before, I think this is way to nuanced for a knuckle-dragging Rethuglican wingnut like me. 'Cause if I think about it too much it just comes across as being completely illogical.

Oh, I get it. That way we can also punish Israel for its poor treatment of the noble Palestinian freedom fighters.

Exactly, as an anti-semitic, racist, imperialistic bigot - its win-win for you baby.

Say, any of you other dolts remember a troll who always signed off with 'got to go have cocktails on the beach?'

Yeah, actually, that did sound familiar. But for the life of me, I can't remember who it was. I rarely play Whack-A-Troll, so these threads are easily forgotten.

Exactly, as an anti-semitic, racist, imperialistic bigot - its win-win for you baby.

I think I'm supposed to be chauvinistic too - it's hard to remember what I signed up for.

The troll who used to sign off with "got to go have cocktails on the beach" was named Jersey.

Yeah, and Jersey was O-C, too. Coincidence?

And Jersey/Thomas/Geno used a lot of ellipses, too. What a coinky-dink...

Why do I think they're actually having a Pepsi in their Mom's back yard.

I actually had a sense that Mary was older and bitter. A Cindy Sheehan sort - in terms of age and background.

Maybe I'm just being optimistic that someone young should still have some joy and sense of fun, not be a humorless, bitter wet blanket.

I actually had a sense that Mary was older and bitter. A Cindy Sheehan sort - in terms of age and background

Bingo. A hairy, overweight yeti - bitter and angry at the world because no one ever made her feel pretty.

bitter and angry at the world because no one ever made her feel pretty.

Except Jon Stewart. He makes her feel pretty.

I can't believe Mary M. came back to drop some more turds. Things sure did get wierd when she started quoting poetry. I don't know what the fuck that was even about.

Hey Mary, how many cats do you have? Posted by: scott on January 20, 2006 05:09 PM

That was the best comment on this thread, nice going scott. Seriously.

Goodness I wish I could have been here to enjoy more of this.

After reading the thread I have come to the conclusion that Mary has sand in her vagina. It causes irritation which is then re-directed at random people on the internet. Zetitic, the proper term is not cunt, it is hatchet wound.