I really don't understand the whole lip injection thing, everyone looks ridiculous with it

has she definitely had that? I don't know. She had pretty full lips as a younger girl in Ghost World. And they're not the cartoonish sort of lips that Angelina Jolie now has.

...um, I was kind of concentrating elsewhere. She had lip injections, you say? Dreadful. Meanwhile, I will go back to ogling her headlights.

Islamofascists just can't handle female sexuality?

Either can a lot of you.

The real story here is that she is not wearing a bra and all the support is built into the dress. Now that's a designing, if not, an engineering marvel.

Now that's a designing, if not, an engineering marvel.

Nah, that's an off-the-rack dress.

[rimshot]

Are my eyes deceiving me, or can you make out her blue boobie-veins?

I must take a closer look.

Wasn’t she named as one of the candidates to carry Tom Cruise’s artificially impregnated spawn?

Talk about dodging a “girlie man” bullet.

Blonde Bombshell..buh..buh..buh..BOOBIES!!!!!

When did Gimli become a girlie metrosexual? I just don't see it, and I'm not sure I want to.

"When did Gimli become a girlie metrosexual? I just don't see it, and I'm not sure I want to."

When he screwed up how high a Kaddam was.

At the risk of missing a joke, Howard, the article discusses John Rhys-Meyers, not John Rhys-Davies.

When did Gimli become a girlie metrosexual?

Erm, that was John Rhys-Davies. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers couldn't have been anything but an elf, assuming his hard work and innate talent had gotten him a role on that picture.

Being the totally shallow and self serving person that I am....I'd hit that.

If I had one piece of advice for Scarlette if she ever decides to get married.

Don't get a parrot for a pet.

I remember when I was 21 and my milk bar was still pretty high and tight. Gravity sucks.

Yo! Let's hear it for Manhattan!

Johansson says he’s like a girl — who likes gossip and shoes.

Uh huh. There's a word for that.

Anyway, I'd like to let Miss Johannson know that I am nothing like a girl, and I couldn't even tell you what color my shoes are.

Well, thankfully Allah seems to have recovered from his french teleprompt reader obsession.

The real story here is that she is not wearing a bra and all the support is built into the dress. Now that's a designing, if not, an engineering marvel.

Gossip, shoes and dress designing.

That pick is right up there with the little ass-shot scene in Lost in Translation. Very nice.

Monica,

Link, please.

In this movie I will never see, is Jonathan Rhys-Meyers her heterosexual love interest?

RivenDELL.

Loose Mike.

What's there to hit? The rack (engineered), the hair (highlighted), the lips (jacked up with ass fat), and whatever escapes her pie-hole (composed by her handlers). It's not real.

I much prefer Gimli: "there will be no dwarf tossing here!" Now that's real.

It's not real.

True. On the other hand, so what?

In case any of you damn objectifiers of the female form give two hoots, Scarlett Johansson hosted the latest Saturday Night Live and actually came across as pretty naturally funny, and had a passable set of pipes, too.

She definitely rates in the top half of SNL hosts these last few years.

Flesh-colored straps on the side there to hold things up. They matched her skin tone perfectly. Must be nice to be able to afford designed stuff like that.

Me jealous? Noooooo...

I bet she can't make good sandwiches.

Oh, and I'll also bet she'll regret her statements on monogamy when future hubby decides he doesn't believe in it.

I wonder if Scarlett knows about the "Sammich Signal"?

I bet she can't make good sandwiches.

Also (probably) true. Also completely immaterial to the point at hand. If I ever get to the point where sammy-making is a bigger deal to me than outstanding pontoons, I devoutly hope I may be struck right dead. (Bear in mind that I am aware that the assets may change their shape over the years, and I'm cool with that -- keep 'em natural, ladies. Big 'uns, little 'uns, or in-between 'uns...they're just fine the way they is.)

I bet she can't make good sandwiches.

'cuz she can't see them.

"I bet she can't make good sandwiches.

'cuz she can't see them."

LOL.

I bet she could make a delicious sandwich - with Naomi Watts as the other slice of bread and me the meat in the middle! Bada Bing!

AN OPEN LETTER TO SCARLETT JOHANSSON

It was with shock and concern that I first read of your tragic emotional plight at the hands of the thespian lad community. It is a sad indictment of our modern film industry when an actress of your undeniable screen talent, and prodigious melons, could be abandoned at a Topanga Canyon cocktail party while you male escort repairs to the kitchen with his acting school "boyfriends" to giggle-gossip and make catty remarks about each's footwear. I can only imagine you sitting alone and neglected on the couch, your tear-streamed face buried in your hands, your pendulous ta-tas slapping against the back of your arms as you heavy silent sobs of humiliation.

To this, I say "enough." That is why I am offering you, Scarlett Johansson, sanctuary in my personal quality manufactured home for as long as you need to achieve emotional recovery. No more talk of shoes; No more gossip; no more tears. Experience a brand new world of doublewide pampered comfort filled with the musky, virile scent of a man who knows the right way to treat a lady -- and her amazing rack.

Better yet, how about I move into your place out there? It would probably work out better for you since I'm guessing it's closer to your job, and I'm pretty much between gigs right now. And also, I forgot to mention that the county fumigators are going to tent my place next week anyway. Either way, I promise that you and your awesome boobs will receive the same famous "Treatment a la Dave."

Who knows? We might even discover we are soulmates. For instance, like you I do not believe in monogamy. So what do you say to inviting Kiera Knightly over for a little non-monogamy with us. I mean, that's cool with me, soulmate.

That was sort of beautiful, Iowahawk. A guy who writes that well really ought to get a blog. By which I mean a slightly current blog.

What happened? Are you expending all of your creative energy on that damn car? Inquiring minds want to know.

I bet she can't make good sandwiches.

She could make a plate of dead raccoon sandwiches with her feet and I would be rapturous with delight.

...sandwiches...what? I kinda lost my train of thought there for a minute. I was busy looking at something. Two things, actually. Anyway, something was said about sandwiches.

Anyway, I must hurry off and...buy a sweater. Yes. Buy a sweater. That's it. I have been feeling a massive urge to buy a sweater for some time now. And while I am buying my sweater, I'll pick up some additional wet-naps. For no particular reason.

Kevlar, you gotta comment more. I've agreed with everything that's come out of your pie hole.

...except for the crushes on Ace and Dave. Er, yes. Definitely not that.

Anyway, I think I'll go post a picture of Brad Ausmus at my place.

Hey Mrs. Peel, didya see I got to post under my man Dave from Garfield Ridge?

Heh. I'm under Dave. Heh.

And nobody better have a crush on him but me. I'll pull a Jack Bauer on you iffen you do.

Nice work!

...Hmm? Oh, I was just complimenting Ms. Johanssen's plastic surgeon. Anyway, yeah, nice going, Kev. But, continuing the theme of the last few posts, I won't be really impressed until you post between Dave and Ace.

The girls alright - she looks like about a million other chicks in SoCal. Attractive in the exact same, predictable way.

Attractive in the exact same, predictable way.

I think you meant "ways."

Oh...Oh my God. A Dave and Ace sandwich.

I'll be back in a little while....me hungry.

Attractive in the exact same, predictable way.

There's something to be said for predictability. There are many attractive women here in Minnesota, but there are also lots of women who look like they ate three or four other women before putting on their parkas and plaid Elmer Fudd hats. And there's the whole "hairy forearm" issue that I won't even get into now, except to say that "Sasquatch" is a descriptor, not an insult around here.

geoff -

Well, in OC & LA boobs on a blonde are a given. You don't mention them - the same way you don't mention that the girl has two arms and two legs.

It's actually annoying, because I really dislike fake breasts.

steve_in_hb,

I maintain that if Ms Johansson's breasts are fake, then they are fake but accurate.

Thank you, thank you.

She could make a plate of dead raccoon sandwiches with her feet and I would be rapturous with delight.

Hey, UGADawg, are you going to eat that crust? Cuz, y'know, I'll take it.

Iowahawk, seriously dude, I am in awe of you. I am so jealous. I figure guys like you get all the action (because I sure don't).

My favorite fake boobs here are in Little Saigon. Vietnamese girls - 5ft tall, 95 pounds, with a pair of cantaloupes in their (very tight, low cut) shirts. Generally, wearing a very short skirt and very high heels. We grade on an HTS (Heel to Skirt) ratio. Some girls actually approach 1 - the height of the heels is equal to the length of the skirt.

You see these girls shopping in the little Vietnamese malls and shops.

Flesh-colored straps on the side there to hold things up. They matched her skin tone perfectly.

I don't see them. Where's a bigger picture. I just want to look at the straps. Honestly.

Here's your girl being groped - looks like the same event.

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2688838

Not straps but side panels. If you look you can see the one under her right arm.

Laughing at Medved referring to the Golden Gay Awards.

My only regret is that the ambient temperature wasn't sufficiently cool enough at the time this picture was taken. But who knows, maybe the "engineering" on this gown takes care of the "high beams."

Or maybe Ms Johansson has inverted nipples.

Wow, from Allah:
"It's also been arranged for Keira and Scarlett to arrive at different times. The last thing anyone wants is an unseemly red-carpet cat-fight in front of the cameras."

Oh, if I could choose the method of my execution, that might be the last thing I'd want to see.

It was pretty cold last night -- probably down in the 40s. The entrace way had to be heated. And though it doesn't look like it, the dress is very well lined with stays that are giving her support. That's what Mizhrai was touching. He, too, was amazed. It's a beautiful dress.

Having seen Velvet Goldmine I'm betting on Rhys Meyers being a bit on the "happy" side. I mean, his ass! And he's almost pretty enough to be a girl. And he got way too into kissing Ewan McGregor's character (an Iggy Pop knockoff).

Scarlett does have nice boobies, though. I'm jealous.

What was it that Lara Flynn Boyle (Serleena) said in MIB 2:

"Silly planet, with the right set of milk glands you can rule the world"?

Don't get me wrong, "I like big tits" as much as Joe Walsh, but I'm afraid Dear Scarlett is beginning to suffer from over exposure. Her ass was nice to look at in " Lost in Translation," and her costuming there gave nice hints of a great bust. Ditto the period dress in "The Girl with One Pearl Earing." But I can only think "cow udders" when I see all this flesh exposed. Hubba, hubba, . . . oh WTF.

Take it from an old dog, gents: Sometimes what you don't see is better than what you do.

Are you expending all of your creative energy on that damn car?

Yes.

Two things. Ace-- major Scarlett Johansson update over at my site, *with video*!

Second. . . hey KevlarChick? Wanna come over and play?

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Uh....Um....I'm under Dave again.

Under. Dave. Heh.

But I have to share you with Plastic Scarlett?

I don't like to share.

Hey, it's only fair, you said you were part of an Ace/Dave sandwich.

If I gotta share your fine fly-ness with that no-talent ass clown, you damn well better be willing to share with Miss Johansson.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

I call bullshit on the reports that Miss Scarlett Johansson is anything but 100% silicon and other artificial enhancements free. If they haven't reported it on any of the tabloids it just can't be true. It just can't dammit!

A HA! http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.us/2005/12/real_lips_on_sc.html

It's all real baby!

I got Dave above AND below me.

For this thread, I will forsake Ace. He's plain white bread. YOU are more like pumpernickel rye with sesame seeds.

But you must also forsake "her."

please say Dave "at Garfield Ridge"

or Dave AGR

something. please.

thank you.

Ace-

Thank you.