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December 30, 2005

Only Candadians Can Make Serious Political Corruption Stultifyingly Boring

I should be interested in this, but, you know, it's Canada.

The Liberals' struggle to hang on to power has been badly, perhaps fatally, damaged by the RCMP's blockbuster confirmation halfway through the campaign that it has launched a criminal investigation of a possible tax leak from Finance Minister Ralph Goodale's office.

The leak (if I remember correctly, which is always in great doubt) was basically a tip-off to well-connected friends and political hacks that there would be major tax-code changes, and perhaps they'd better do what they could in advance to avoid the consequences of those changes.

Coming on the heels of a series of Liberal gaffes and miscues, the announcement from the Mounties this week has the feel of a tipping point in an election battle that had previously been almost impossible to handicap.

The story tries manfully to pique my interest:

"This is like a live grenade has just been thrown down Paul Martin's pants," remarked Frank Graves, president of EKOS Research Associates. "I think the potential fallout from this is quite significant — as in, you know, might lose election rather than win."

But, still: Canada. Just not interested. Canada is like the Ringo Starr of the Beatles. No, wait, that's not fair to Mr. Starr. Canada is like the Richard Marx of the Beatles.

posted by Ace at 03:28 PM

Comments

"This is like a live grenade has just been thrown down Paul Martin's pants," remarked Frank Graves, president of EKOS Research Associates. "I think the potential fallout from this is quite significant"

Well, if a live grenade were thrown down Dick Cheney's pants, the fallout would kill all civilians within a ten mile radius.

Posted by: WWDCD on December 30, 2005 03:43 PM

That's a misconception. Dick Cheney's cock can only reach critical mass due to a carefully timed spherical-charge implosion and injection of additional mass into his cock. A simple grenade blowing up near it will not set his cock off.

Posted by: ace on December 30, 2005 03:47 PM

I always thought it was "Canadians", not "Candadians", but that just might be a function of how boring Candada is.

Posted by: Brownie, you're doing a heckuva job on December 30, 2005 03:53 PM

Ringo Starr was my favorite Beatle. While the rest of them were caught up in ego games (Paul the Great Composer, John the Man of the People, George the Spiritual Icon), Ringo was just this guy who played drums for a living and was pretty good at it. I respect that.

Plus, his wife was a major babe.

Posted by: DaveP. on December 30, 2005 03:57 PM

Dick Cheney's cock can only reach critical mass due to a carefully timed spherical-charge implosion and injection of additional mass into his cock.

I thought you had to cross the streams.

Posted by: Michael on December 30, 2005 04:00 PM

Canada... boring... Losing consciousness....

Posted by: David C on December 30, 2005 04:00 PM

Seriously, who the fuck is Paul Martin?

Posted by: on December 30, 2005 04:10 PM

Hey, you know one thing that's cool about Canada? Yeah, me neither.

What time is it anyway? I'm sleepy.

Posted by: The Warden on December 30, 2005 04:28 PM

Listen up, wise guys,

The important thing to remember about Canada is that... zzzzz...zzzzz...

Wha? Hey, I guess it is better than counting sheep!

Posted by: Log Cabin on December 30, 2005 04:33 PM

Seriously, who the fuck is Paul Martin?

Wasn't he the Beatles' producer?

Posted by: Dave in Texas on December 30, 2005 04:38 PM

> Coming on the heels of a series of Liberal gaffes and miscues

...and don't forget the Practical Amusements!

Posted by: Guy T. on December 30, 2005 04:41 PM

Seriously, who the fuck is Paul Martin?

Paul Martin is Prime Minister of Candada and all the Candadians.

Posted by: not candadian on December 30, 2005 04:50 PM

Paul Martin is Prime Minister of Candada and all the Candadians.

Do I understand, then, that this Paul-Martin-person is tubino's PM?

Tubino, of course, being our BM.

Cordially...

Posted by: Rick on December 30, 2005 04:53 PM

Candada is nothing compared to the nefarious truth.

Who lives in Canada? Canadians.

What happened to all the original Canadans then?

Posted by: HowardDevore on December 30, 2005 05:00 PM

Paul Martin?
Wasn't he the guy from Laugh-In?
You know, "A Rowan and Martin Production"?

Posted by: DaveP. on December 30, 2005 06:19 PM

Canada is run by a bunch of idiots but canadains themselves are of more common sense

Posted by: spurwing plover on December 30, 2005 08:16 PM

but canadains themselves are of more common sense . . .

Where is this Canadainia of which you speak?

Posted by: Michael on December 31, 2005 02:54 AM

One would think that if an idiot wanted to put down our country, the best country in the world, the least he could do is spell the name correctly.

Posted by: Canadian Patriot on December 31, 2005 07:56 AM

One would think that if an idiot wanted to put down our country, the best country in the world, the least he could do is spell the name correctly.

Posted by: Steve Harper on December 31, 2005 07:58 AM

Ha! Nothing funnier then seeing somebody calling somebody else an idiot...in duplicate comments! Frickin' Candadian.

Posted by: BrewFan on December 31, 2005 09:29 AM

What depresses me is that Martin could send his flacks to bone every single Canadian voter right in the ass, and he'd still win every province save Alberta with the slogan "A vote against cock is a vote for Bush".

Posted by: David Ross on December 31, 2005 02:37 PM