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| Four Arrested In Connection With Big Explosives Theft »
December 29, 2005
Suspected DU Poster ArrestedWhen I say "suspected," I just mean that I suspect he's a DU'er: Lower Paxton Twp. police said that when they arrived to investigate the disturbance, they found [Curtis] Lofton standing stark naked in the snow. He gets to the point without a lot of excess verbiage. 1, I'm a lunatic, 2, I really need a Kool. Logorrhea is not among his afflictions. When asked where he lived and why he was naked, Lofton is alleged to have said that he was "Jesus Christ" and that the officer must be "God," court papers say. Just when you don't think he could get any crazier, he starts bonking cops over the head with a plastic trumpet. Always end on a high note. posted by Ace at 04:03 PM
Comments"Basically, he had some mental health issues that hopefully are in remission. I don't think it affects his ability to be a French teacher and it wasn't school-related, so we're hoping we can get him back to work,"Now that's funny. Posted by: Slublog on December 29, 2005 04:05 PM
I don't think it affects his ability to be a French teacher... I assume they're referring to his ability to teach in France? Posted by: utron on December 29, 2005 04:08 PM
I thought the god-complex was a strong indicator of Republicanism. Posted by: tubino on December 29, 2005 04:18 PM
you thought, you thought, you though eight things tonight. I gave you a list you give me back half a fucking list. Posted by: Mr. Paul Anka on December 29, 2005 04:26 PM
I hate it when Jesus and God fight. And when they fight with toys, that makes it even worse. I could use a Kool myself by the way. Posted by: The Colossus on December 29, 2005 04:30 PM
You dirty unbelievers will feel the wrath soon... Posted by: Uncle Jefe on December 29, 2005 04:42 PM
Hey, is that really tubby, or toobeano? Posted by: Uncle Jefe on December 29, 2005 04:47 PM
" I just mean that I suspect he's a DU'er:" Doubtful. Posted by: MyPetGloat on December 29, 2005 05:40 PM
"Lower Paxton Twp. police ... found [Curtis] Lofton standing stark naked in the snow. "Lofton was charged with ... possession of a small amount of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia and unlawful possession of the prescription drug oxycodone." Okayyy: Where did the naked man hide all this stuff? Or maybe I don't want to know. Posted by: Rittenhouse on December 29, 2005 05:49 PM
Rit, I'm guessing they searched his car or home if he was near it. I don't know what "probable cause" means but I heard the phrase once on The Mask, and on that authority it sounds like the cops are in the right here. Posted by: David Ross on December 29, 2005 08:16 PM
"Jesus is now blind should" be one of your new go to lines. Posted by: Brad on December 30, 2005 12:27 AM
Is this another one of these wacko nut cases? whats on his mind anyway? Posted by: spurwing plover on December 30, 2005 10:12 AM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
(((Dan Hodges))) Nick Lowles
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98. Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years. Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45 Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%. I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens. REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs. Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:
![]() That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time. I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
Hamas is Humiliating Trump's 'Board of Peace'
[Hat Tip: TC] [CBD]
Ted Turner Dies At 87 [CBD]
Democrat Congresswoman Sara Jacobs cites Me-Again Kelly, Cavernous Nostrils, Alex Jones and Tuq'r Qarlson as proof that concerns about Trump's mental health are "bipartisan"
As Bonchie from Red State says: Know the op when you see it.
Leftists who have been drawing Frankendistricts for decades are suddenly upset about Republican line-drawing
Socialist usurper Obama cut commercials urging Virginians to vote for the bizarre "lobster" gerrymander -- but now says gerrymanders are so racist you guys Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.
Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat
And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain
ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP
If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents. Erika Kirk was present.
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