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« Support The F'n' Troops | Main | Killing Cancer Cells-- Finally? »
December 26, 2005

Shock: British Man Gets On Knees For Love

Well, not like that. That's not for love, that's just for cigarettes at boarding school:

British man is giving a whole new meaning to begging to be loved as he set off on a 55-mile (88.5 kilometres) crawl on his hands and knees to find a partner. With a sign saying "Could you Love Me?" strapped to his back and 18 boxes of chocolates trailing behind him on string tied to his wrists and ankles, Mark McGowan began his unusual quest to find a girlfriend.

...

The 37-year-old performance artist, who said he is also hoping to raise awareness of people left lonely and isolated during the festive period, is hoping to complete the back-breaking task within 30 days.

"I can remember one Christmas I wasn't in a relationship and didn't want to spend it with my family. I ended up cooking two fish fingers. I'm sure a lot of people have had that experience," he said during a well-earned break en-route.

"Some people can spend Christmas in utter desperation and misery and find it difficult to cope with. I hope this encourages people to maybe invite someone over."

McGowan, from Peckham, south London, is no stranger to bizarre stunts or being so close to the tarmac: in 2003 he spent two weeks rolling a monkey nut with his nose seven miles to Downing Street to protest against student debt.

Performance artist, huh? How politically correct. I remember the days when we used to call 'em old-fashioned retards.


posted by Ace at 11:49 PM
Comments



I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.

F'in retard.

Posted by: Meatloaf on December 27, 2005 12:00 AM

Perhaps both terms could be be combined: 'performance retardist'.

Posted by: caspera on December 27, 2005 12:04 AM

This guy is pretty rude, shoving is loneliness in everybody's faces. He should have the good manners to stay home alone drinking and smoking weed out of the public eye.

I spent Christmas Eve at Hawaiian Gardens Card Club. There were lots of folks there, and all the dealers wore Santa hats. There was drinking, resentment, faked hearty wishes of "Merry Christmas" - it was just like being back home with the family.

Posted by: steve_in_hb on December 27, 2005 12:17 AM

I spent Christmas with Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore.

And, of course, my collection of hardcore German fetish pornography.

Posted by: ace on December 27, 2005 12:18 AM

Why even mention the German fetish porno? Don't you always have that on your person - I do. My checklist as I go out the door is keys, wallet, phone, and picture of girl encased in latex with a gas mask on.

Posted by: steve_in_hb on December 27, 2005 12:24 AM

And your tree, Ace.

Don't forget your tree.

They take offense and come after you in your sleep.

Just like that other Drew Barrymore classic "Poltergeist".

Posted by: Jack M. on December 27, 2005 12:25 AM

Now is the time on Schprockets ven ve dance.

Posted by: Michael Meyers on December 27, 2005 12:38 AM

Yeah, that'll really make 'em want you. Great idea. Why don't you just walk around in your tighty-whities, with toilet paper stuck to your shoes, and one of those 1940's cartoon baby-hat thingies on your head, carrying a huge all-day sucker.

That's almost as good a pick-up strategy as getting yourself elected governor of a small southern state, and using your bodyguards to procure women for you. Oh, wait......

Posted by: CraigC on December 27, 2005 12:50 AM

I think I know why this guy spends his Christmases alone. Hint: it's not because women fail to appreciate his scintillating personality.

Posted by: Andrea Harris on December 27, 2005 07:13 AM

What a maroon.

Posted by: OregonMuse on December 27, 2005 09:48 AM

You can laugh all you want, but with the publicity he's getting, I'm sure there will be some women waiting for him. And he's going to get some.

So, is getting some worth crawling 55 miles? I guess that depends on who you get....

Posted by: Grimaldi on December 27, 2005 10:06 AM

This should appease the feminuts

Posted by: spurwing plover on December 27, 2005 10:11 AM

I can't imagine why he has a hard time getting laid.

Posted by: fugazi on December 27, 2005 10:18 AM

Fish have fingers? :0

Posted by: Jenny on December 27, 2005 10:33 AM

What's wrong with spending Xmas alone?

You wake up, jack off to some porn, order a pizza, jack off to more porn while eating pizza, play pokAr on the internet and surf porn whiling jacking off between hands, drink some bourbon and surf transexual porn, jack off, feel guilty, surf traditional porn so you feel better, and go to bed.

Beats going to the in-laws is all I'm saying.

Posted by: The Warden on December 27, 2005 06:25 PM
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He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over
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That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

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br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

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