| Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support
Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact
Ace:aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries
First World Problems...
The Food Fanatics Will Never Stop! Book Thread: 05/10/2026 [MP4] Daily Tech News 10 May 2026 Saturday Night Club ONT - May 9, 2026 [D & D] Saturday Evening Movie Thread - 5/9/2026 Hobby Thread - May 9, 2026 [TRex] Ace of Spades Pet Thread, May 9 Gardening, Home and Nature Thread, May 9 At what point do conspiracy theories go too far? Absent Friends
Captain Whitebread 2026
Jon Ekdahl 2026 Jay Guevara 2025 Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025 Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published.
Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups
Texas MoMe 2026: 10/16/2026-10/17/2026 Corsicana,TX Contact Ben Had for info |
« Support The F'n' Troops |
Main
| Killing Cancer Cells-- Finally? »
December 26, 2005
Shock: British Man Gets On Knees For LoveWell, not like that. That's not for love, that's just for cigarettes at boarding school: British man is giving a whole new meaning to begging to be loved as he set off on a 55-mile (88.5 kilometres) crawl on his hands and knees to find a partner. With a sign saying "Could you Love Me?" strapped to his back and 18 boxes of chocolates trailing behind him on string tied to his wrists and ankles, Mark McGowan began his unusual quest to find a girlfriend. Performance artist, huh? How politically correct. I remember the days when we used to call 'em old-fashioned retards. posted by Ace at 11:49 PM
CommentsI would do anything for love, but I won't do that. F'in retard. Posted by: Meatloaf on December 27, 2005 12:00 AM
Perhaps both terms could be be combined: 'performance retardist'. Posted by: caspera on December 27, 2005 12:04 AM
This guy is pretty rude, shoving is loneliness in everybody's faces. He should have the good manners to stay home alone drinking and smoking weed out of the public eye. I spent Christmas Eve at Hawaiian Gardens Card Club. There were lots of folks there, and all the dealers wore Santa hats. There was drinking, resentment, faked hearty wishes of "Merry Christmas" - it was just like being back home with the family. Posted by: steve_in_hb on December 27, 2005 12:17 AM
I spent Christmas with Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore. And, of course, my collection of hardcore German fetish pornography. Posted by: ace on December 27, 2005 12:18 AM
Why even mention the German fetish porno? Don't you always have that on your person - I do. My checklist as I go out the door is keys, wallet, phone, and picture of girl encased in latex with a gas mask on. Posted by: steve_in_hb on December 27, 2005 12:24 AM
And your tree, Ace. Don't forget your tree. They take offense and come after you in your sleep. Just like that other Drew Barrymore classic "Poltergeist". Posted by: Jack M. on December 27, 2005 12:25 AM
Now is the time on Schprockets ven ve dance. Posted by: Michael Meyers on December 27, 2005 12:38 AM
Yeah, that'll really make 'em want you. Great idea. Why don't you just walk around in your tighty-whities, with toilet paper stuck to your shoes, and one of those 1940's cartoon baby-hat thingies on your head, carrying a huge all-day sucker. That's almost as good a pick-up strategy as getting yourself elected governor of a small southern state, and using your bodyguards to procure women for you. Oh, wait...... Posted by: CraigC on December 27, 2005 12:50 AM
I think I know why this guy spends his Christmases alone. Hint: it's not because women fail to appreciate his scintillating personality. Posted by: Andrea Harris on December 27, 2005 07:13 AM
What a maroon. Posted by: OregonMuse on December 27, 2005 09:48 AM
You can laugh all you want, but with the publicity he's getting, I'm sure there will be some women waiting for him. And he's going to get some. So, is getting some worth crawling 55 miles? I guess that depends on who you get.... Posted by: Grimaldi on December 27, 2005 10:06 AM
This should appease the feminuts Posted by: spurwing plover on December 27, 2005 10:11 AM
I can't imagine why he has a hard time getting laid. Posted by: fugazi on December 27, 2005 10:18 AM
Fish have fingers? :0 Posted by: Jenny on December 27, 2005 10:33 AM
What's wrong with spending Xmas alone? You wake up, jack off to some porn, order a pizza, jack off to more porn while eating pizza, play pokAr on the internet and surf porn whiling jacking off between hands, drink some bourbon and surf transexual porn, jack off, feel guilty, surf traditional porn so you feel better, and go to bed. Beats going to the in-laws is all I'm saying. Posted by: The Warden on December 27, 2005 06:25 PM
Post a comment
| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?" I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove Chris
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near Somebody else holds your heart, yeah You turn to me with your icy tears And then it's raining, feels like it's raining
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source" Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held. Basil the Great
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.
Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing. Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult. Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending. (((Dan Hodges))) Nick Lowles
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98. Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years. Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45 Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%. I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens. REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs. Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:
![]() That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time. I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
Hamas is Humiliating Trump's 'Board of Peace'
[Hat Tip: TC] [CBD]
Ted Turner Dies At 87 [CBD]
Recent Comments
Emmie -- be strong and courageous!:
"I worked in a grade school for several years. We ..."
Kindltot: "[i]Always amusing how the "BELIEVE SCIENCE" crowd ..." Nazdar: ">>The supplier asked if she wanted it pasteurized ..." Kindltot: "[i]Irradiation works to preserve foods, too. Post ..." Lots of really stoooopid people running around loose: " Irradiation works to preserve foods, too. Poste ..." Jackson K.: "After a heavy workout in the gym, I like Roach Bur ..." fly gal: "Speaking of milk, Michelle Obama banned chocolate ..." Alberta Oil Peon: "There is an alternat process of sterilizing foods ..." SciVo[/i][/b][/u][/s]: "[i]Even if you eat 0% cholesterol, you're body wil ..." Smell the Glove: "German milk = beer ..." Wait for it...: "205 Fun fact: I used to call the Davis-Bacon preva ..." Kindltot: "Fun fact: I used to call the Davis-Bacon prevailin ..." Bloggers in Arms
RI Red's Blog! Behind The Black CutJibNewsletter The Pipeline Second City Cop Talk Of The Town with Steve Noxon Belmont Club Chicago Boyz Cold Fury Da Goddess Daily Pundit Dawn Eden Day by Day (Cartoon) EduWonk Enter Stage Right The Epoch Times Grim's Hall Victor Davis Hanson Hugh Hewitt IMAO Instapundit JihadWatch Kausfiles Lileks/The Bleat Memeorandum (Metablog) Outside the Beltway Patterico's Pontifications The People's Cube Powerline RedState Reliapundit Viking Pundit WizBang Some Humorous Asides
Kaboom!
Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
|