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December 26, 2005

Shark Attacks Surfer; Surfer Punches It In Nose

... and gets it to release his leg.

Brian Anderson, 31, was surfing on Saturday off the coast of the northwestern state of Oregon when he felt something grab his leg. Mr Anderson turned around and punched the shark in the nose.

"I acted on instinct," he told ABC news.

The shark let go, and despite losing blood Mr Anderson made it back to shore, where he tied his wound as he waited for an ambulance.

Nice. I'd like to know if that jab-the-shark-in-the-eye trick works. Maybe Mr. Andreson could be persuaded to try it out for us.


posted by Ace at 10:18 PM
Comments



Thjat's right, dammit! American surfers are not pussies like the surfers in Australia.
Down there, they stand on the beach and watch their mates get eaten by sharks.


America --
Fuck Yeah!

Posted by: Bart on December 26, 2005 10:32 PM

No they stand on the beach and beat up poor, disadvantaged Muslims who are just trying to enjoy a day at the beach while meditating on the Religion of Peace.

Posted by: steve_in_hb on December 26, 2005 10:39 PM

Who the hell surfs in the Pacific Northwest in December? Trim the tree, then go out and surf? Right there, it says 'idiot' or 'tough guy.' I guess I'll give the edge to 'tough guy' if he beat up a shark as well.

Posted by: caspera on December 26, 2005 10:49 PM

Dude, that's why they invented drysuits. The Pacific is cold year round, it's just colder than usual right now.

And besides, he beat up a shark. That's totally bad ass.

Posted by: digitalbrownshirt on December 26, 2005 10:53 PM

... Instinct? THAT is an instinct?


Oh, and expect a lawsuit from peta. Fish have feelings too, you know.

Posted by: Yogimus on December 26, 2005 11:10 PM

for some reason I'm reminded of that kid's uncle that went after the shark in Florida who chewed off his nephew's arm and got it back.

am I remembering that right? don't feel like googling it

Posted by: Dave in Texas on December 26, 2005 11:38 PM

The little bitch sucker-punched me. I'd have fucked him up old-school but he had all his buddies on the beach with him, like a pussy.

Posted by: The Shark on December 26, 2005 11:39 PM

Surfer to the Shark: Who da man?! Huh? Huh? Yeah! Who da man?! Where yr homies at? Huh? Huh? Where yr homies at? [BIFF! POW!] Get outta here before I curry yr ass and serve it up for lunch. Punk!

Posted by: Helen on December 27, 2005 12:08 AM

July 19, 2001

PENSACOLA, Florida (CNN) -- The uncle of Jessie Arbogast recalled a pool of blood and his nephew's screams in his account of a horrific July 6 shark attack in Pensacola, Florida, in a National Park Service report released Thursday.

Vance Flosenzier's nephew, Arbogast, lost his arm and almost all his blood when a seven-foot shark bit him while he was swimming in shallow waters off Florida's Gulf coast. Surgeons reattached Arbogast's arm, and the 8-year-old is currently in critical but stable condition in a Pensacola hospital.

Posted by: Lord Floppington on December 27, 2005 12:12 AM

The little bitch sucker-punched me. I'd have fucked him up old-school but he had all his buddies on the beach with him, like a pussy.

Whatever, dude. I figured you'd be done whimpering by now, but here you are still acting like a less-manly Katie Couric.

Posted by: Brian "Sharkfucker" Anderson on December 27, 2005 02:58 AM

Are we sure this surfer wasn't actually Dick Cheney? I mean, come on, when you read that some guy had actually punched out a f'n shark, who was the first person you thought of?

Posted by: OregonMuse on December 27, 2005 09:53 AM

This will get the idiots at PETA upset

Posted by: spurwing plover on December 27, 2005 10:13 AM

Well, what else are you going to do... kick him in the balls?

Posted by: Madfish Willie on December 27, 2005 12:41 PM

I'd like to know if that jab-the-shark-in-the-eye trick works

Mythbusters did an episode on that during shark week. I think the result was that actually punching the shark wasn't very useful, but simply laying your hand, like to push him away made the shark move away. There was some excuse about EM style sensory organs in the sharks schnozz.

Posted by: Wickedpinto on December 27, 2005 04:14 PM

I remember that Mythbusters episode. If I recall correctly, they had trouble timing the test dummy's punches so that they would actually hit the shark's nose. I think that if the punches could have been timed correctly, the nose punch would have worked.

Simply putting your hand on the shark's nose could have unintended consequences. A shark's skin is as abrasive as sandpaper, and if you touch one with your bare hand, you could possibly cut your skin and bleed into the water, making you look like an available bar skank at last call in the eyes of Mr. Shark.

Posted by: Russ from Winterset on December 27, 2005 06:39 PM

Well, what else are you going to do... kick him in the balls?

Dunno about shark balls, but I saw a recipe for tuna balls once...

Posted by: zetetic on December 27, 2005 06:45 PM

Lets feed these PETA jerks to the sharks

Posted by: spurwing plover on December 28, 2005 10:36 AM
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@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
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Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
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That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

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Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
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br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.


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Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

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