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December 26, 2005

Quickie DVD/PPV Movie Reviews

Gotta have something to show for the last week or so...


Sky High. I'd recommend this one more strongly but I suspect that low expections help the film out. But of the recent batch of movies I've seen, this is easily the stand out.

The premise is cute and kid-friendly, but it's enjoyable enough for adults. Children of superheroes are taken (by flying bus) to Sky High, a high school lofted in the stratosphere by anti-gravity generators. The movie adroitly mixes and spoofs two staples-- the superhero flick and the high school flick. Sky High is even more socially stratified than, say, Westerburgh High in Heathers, because all would-be superheroes are segregated on their first day of school according to their powers-- those with terrific powers are in the "Hero" track, while those with less-impressive powers (such as shapeshifting into a guinea pig, and only a guinea pig) are put into the "Hero Support" track, also known as "Sidekicks." Or "Losers." The film immediately puts the typical high-school pecking order into a superheroic context, with Heroes (jocks, rich kids, cheerleaders) and Sidekicks (dweebs, fleebs, Ducky from Pretty in Pink).

While the main character, Harry Potter-like, is a celebrity on campus because of his super-amazing superhero parents, he actually hasn't developed any powers yet-- a fact he hides from his dad.

The cast is really very good. None of the kid actors annoy, and the adult actors -- especially Kurt Russell as the sorta-clueless superhero The Commander -- are great. Kevin MacDonald is terrific as "Mr. Medulla," a giant-craniumed super-genius who teaches "Mad Science" at the school (and, presumably, is advisor to the Mad Science Club and a judge at the Mad Science Olympics). Bruce Campbell is enjoyably hammy as the stereotypical semi-sadistic gym coach, who just also happens to be the mid-level superhero Sonic Boom, gifted with the power to shout extremely loudly.

Don't be put off by what you imagine is a kid's movie. It's really not, or rather, maybe it is but it's a smart enough kid's movie for adults.

Four Brothers. I have no use at all for director John Singleton, so this is another title that was helped by low expectations, but the film easily exceeds those. Mark Wahlberg (who, as shocking as it seems, has turned out to be a reliably strong actor) and three no-names play mixed-race adopted brothers of a saintly woman. She's killed in the opening of the film, and the brothers reunite with the intent of avenging her death.

Most of the brothers seem to be criminals and thugs to one extent or another, but a cop assures us that, thanks to their saintly mother, they're "Congressmen compared to what they would have been." It's a good thing they have those criminal and thug type skills, of course, because they go on a mission of beating, threatening, and executing everyone involved with their mom's death.

It's pretty enjoyable throughout, with a halfway decent plot and some good brotherly chemistry between the actors (read: constant chops-busting), let down a little by a somewhat silly plot point at the end. (I think Hollywood should retire the conceit of getting an evildoer to confess and then revealing -- SURPRISE! -- the whole confession was caught on tape. Yeah, right.)

Fever Pitch. It's shocking that this is a Farrelly Brothers comedy, because there's little real jokes in it. It's neither outrageous nor very funny.

That's because it's based on an early Nick Hornby book, once again about a man-boy who refuses to grow up. How many times can he write this book, I wonder? Here, Jimmy Fallon plays a man-boy obsessed to the point of actual lunacy with the Red Sox. (In the original novel, the man-boy was obsessed with the Arsenal soccer team.)

It begins well-enough, with Fallon charming enough and Drew Barrymore looking pretty cute (and demonstrating, again, she's got a gift for light comedy), but the comedy is a little too light. Half of the jokes past the first five minutes are basically Jimmy Fallon making jokes in-character. I don't think these sorts of jokes ever really work -- it's funnier to have people be funny inadvertantly, through stupidity, cluelessness, or clumsiness -- and he spends half the movie doing a bad Robin Williams in Dead Poet's Society impression.

The other half of the movie is about the Red Sox... and man, do you have to be a Red Sox fan to get through all the game-footage you're going to see.

The film's biggest flaw is that Fallon's obsession is neither cute nor plausible. What it is is insane. In a romantic comedy, you have to root for the couple to overcome the obstacles to come together; here, you start just saying "DUMP HIS CRAZY ASS!" in the first half-hour. Drew Barrymore's character is willing to make all sorts of concessions to Fallon's mania, but Fallon just won't let up, insisting the woman come with him, three or four times a week, to long baseball games, despite the fact she has a very demanding job and is currently working extremely hard in order to secure a promotion.

Rather than just say, "Okay, you work late, I'll see the games, we'll meet at midnight" as Barrymore (quite reasonably) suggests, no, this freakazoid insists on bringing a bored and overworked woman to half of the home Red Sox games. And he can't even take one night off to attend a party that's particularly important to her.

The ridiculous romantic obstacle aside, the film just isn't funny. Never have I been so annoyed at the end of a romantic "comedy" that the couple gets together. She should have gone for the Wilson brother (a brief romantic rival part given to the Wilson brother you rarely see, Andrew).

It's really a misconceived romantic drama with a particularly absurd premise and few laughs to show for it. A feathered fish-- a fish that will neither swim nor fly.

The 40-Year Old Virgin. Don't believe the critics. Or your friends. I think this movie gets the good-will that American Pie did-- a movie that seems like it's going to be a nasty, obscene, misogynistic sex farce and yet turns out to be a somewhat sweet romantic comedy with "heart," so everyone raves about it.

I would have preferred that a nasty, obscene, misogynistic sex farce, because I was just bored senseless by this "romantic comedy with heart."

Paul Rudd and his buddies try to get Steve Carrell laid, and give him lots of advice (ranging from sensible to silly), and we're supposed to care if he gets laid or not. Steve Carrell is a nice, likeable protagonist, but really, I just couldn't care less. There are very few laughs in this movie, and the biggest laughs come from stuff that guys just do when they bust each other's chops -- there's a long, somewhat funny exchange between Paul Rudd and a stoner buddy about how each knows the other's gay. It's eh-funny, about as funny as the typical dumb conversations you have with your friends.

I saw the unedited, unrated version, which may account for the movie's undue length. There's a few decent scenes here and there -- Leslie Mann's drunk-driving terror-ride, a girl with big tits popping one out at a speed-dating meet-up -- but it's a big skip in my book.


Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo. Not nearly as funny as promised by K-Lo at the Corner, but enjoyable throughout, and with a really super-cute female lead you've never seen before. Most of the laughs are just smiles or small chuckles, but all in all it's worth watching. Unlike Fever Pitch or the 40 Year Old Virgin, it's an actual comedy, and it isn't nine and half hours long.

posted by Ace at 03:25 PM
Comments



It's eh-funny, about as funny as the typical dumb conversations you have with your friends.
You think the conversations you have with us are dumb??
Posted by: on December 26, 2005 03:47 PM

Not to nit-pick, but the original "Fever Pitch" wasn't a novel. It was just a collection of real-life episodes in Hornby's life related to his obsession with Arsenal "football." (Celebrations after big wins, picking an apartment because it was across the street from the stadium, etc.) To my recollection, the original "Fever Pitch" barely touched on dating at all.

Posted by: Bebeaux on December 26, 2005 03:54 PM

Totally agree on 40YOV. It sucked.

Posted by: Allah on December 26, 2005 05:00 PM

Your description of "4 brothers" reminds me of the film The Sons of Katie Elder".

Posted by: Steven Den Beste on December 26, 2005 05:08 PM

All due deference to my alleged superiors here, but I thought four brothers bit. I found it silly and embarassing. The villian was infinitely better in Serenity.

We saw it primarily because of Mark Wahlberg and he was fine. It was just a horrible film all the way around.

Posted by: Jake Jacobsen on December 26, 2005 05:12 PM

I would agree with Ace's thoughts about the above. In addition I've seen:

Serenity-I liked it a lot, but then I liked the TV show as well.

Bad News Bears-not even close to the original in quality.

Dukes of Hazzard-total crapfest even with JS showing skin.

Rebound-didn't score a basket for me.

Must Love Dogs-lame even though I dearly love my doggies. Sort of reminded me of that old Garofalo movie which I hated as well.

Kingdom of Heaven-bored me or maybe I should have said gored me to death.

Rollbounce-WTF was that!

In the theater:

The Stone Family-I liked this one although it isn't Oscar material.

Cheaper by the Dozen 2-lame and half the quality of the first which isn't saying a lot.

Fun With Dick and Jane-wait for the DVD and then pass if nothing else is available. Will Carey ever find another decent role? Inquiring minds and all.

Munich-This movie is just so wrong on so many levels. It's political correctness run amock, I tells ya. Spielberg should be ashamed to have ever made this movie in this fashion. Moral equivalence my ass. I wish I had my money back.

BBM-refused to pay $s to see. Wouldn't see even if free. I guess I wasn't the only one given its paltry $2.7 mil take for a 4-day weekend.

Posted by: Laddy on December 26, 2005 05:31 PM

What ever happened to guys watching football?

Posted by: Johnd01 on December 26, 2005 05:52 PM

I watched football, too. I don't think anyone needs a review of the Giants' performance on Saturday.

Posted by: ace on December 26, 2005 06:21 PM

Some of us multi-task, you know, Mister Johnd01! :)

Besides, was there any game other than the Packer-Bears?

Posted by: Laddy on December 26, 2005 06:58 PM

Mrs. Geezer bought Serenity for me and I bought Firefly (complete season) for her.

Most excellent.

Posted by: Retired Geezer on December 26, 2005 08:47 PM

Besides, was there any game other than the Packer-Bears?

Oh! The Humanity!

Posted by: BrewFan on December 26, 2005 08:58 PM

If i may - Fever Pitch is so awful as to cause seizures - i was on a plane watching it and i was tempted to make a run at the cockpit in hopes of an air marshall taking me out.

Best movie of 05 - Murderball. Simply amazing.

Posted by: H on December 26, 2005 09:28 PM

Sorry Brewfan. All better now?

Posted by: Laddy on December 26, 2005 09:52 PM

Sorry Brewfan. All better now?

I'm almost over it. Except I'm still p.o.'d at some of my fellow Packer fans; the ones who sold their tickets to those FIB's who desecrate the holy soil of Lambeau Field.

Traitors.

Posted by: BrewFan on December 26, 2005 10:11 PM

the ones who sold their tickets to those FIB's who desecrate the holy soil of Lambeau Field.

F'n priceless, BrewFan, and I'm from the Land of Lincoln (at least that's where I was birthed).

Posted by: on December 26, 2005 10:34 PM

I realize I'm kind of late to be commenting on this (didn't read over Christmas), but Bebeaux is right about Fever Pitch. The movie had almost nothing to do with the book. The book was autobiographical, was about his love affair with Arsenal soccer (football), collected his thoughts on momentous soccer events over something like 20 years (hooligans, fans being killed, big wins and losses, favorite players, etc.), had almost nothing to do with dating, and was truly excellent (although it probably helps to like soccer). The movie blew goats.

SPOILER ALERT -- FOUR BROTHERS: The confession wasn't being taped. He just acted like the confession was broadcast to the cops. However, I don't believe it was. Rather, it appeared to be a ruse to get the dirty cop to take him hostage. Which is the reason the cops were confused as to why the dirty cop took a hostage, and it's also why Taye Diggs said he just showed up to talk and the guy went crazy.

Of course, I'm an idiot. So I could be totally wrong.

And I totally disagree on Deuce Bigalow and 40 Year Old Virgin. I thought the former was dumb, and the latter was good. However, I agree that Hanna Verboom is cute-hot (the best kind of hot), and would add that she has a wonderful name.

Posted by: The Comish (sic) on December 27, 2005 05:14 PM

I was just gonna say, you left out Serenity. Serenity was a . . . "goodish" movie, but since I'm a fan of Firefly I saw it as outstanding because of Joss's Nuts in. . . well the various plot points he excercised.

Serenity Deserves a Significant nod with the caveate that people had seen the series, and even if they hadn't it was a VERY well formulated flick. Unlike virtually every other BIG movie. "Red Sox fans are lunatics" DUH, easy plot format, "bad guys don't exist" that is why stealth got it's bankroll. (actually identifying badguys is bad press, but it is okay to BOMB SKYSCRAPERS!!?!?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?!?!? I prefer having ONE badguy muslim, or one badguy who isn't a retro-nazi, even if it is an American (though that would be to obviously PC) that a fucking ROBOT plane being the badguy!!!) How many robot planes have killed the 10's of thousands of people that have died by deliberate violence over the last 4 years?!?!?! PC fucknuts.

Anyways, Serenity, is an honest depiction of "the enemy is a person" that Spielberg couldn't possible contend with, cuz the badguy is a BELIEVER!

Libs can't possibly depict someone who BELIEVES, cuz that makes them Black, or White, whether or not they can learn, the story must be black or white to have a good guy believer, "Mal" or a bad guy believer "operative" Belief must be mixed with conflict.

BTW, I ain't seen the movie, but What I've seen of "munich?" It lookes EXACTLY like "Sword of Gideon" and "Sword of Gideon" was made with much less money, and was MUCH more honest about the hunt for the Black September terrorists.

Fuck Most American Jews. they are Anti-American Americans First. To teach OUR nation a lesson (completely over the top annalogy here) we should arbitrarily kill a pro-israel jew in the public square, and a pro-American Black, Just to PROVE to the anti-american "oppressed Class" that America is equal opportunity.

How far does the excercise of extremism go? Only the minority advocates who wish to capitalize on the oppression of non-oppressed classes are allowed to oppress? I say Slaughter Armstrong Williams. Firing squad his ass in Central Park, and lets hear sharpton chear, or Farakhan say he wasn't black, or any other hypocracy. I HATE the "Black" leaders, cuz they don't lead shit, White idiots fund them.

ARGH ARGH ARGH

tangent, tangent tangent.

Posted by: Wickedpinto on December 28, 2005 01:57 AM

"Serenity"

The Fight scenes including "River"/Summer Glau are some of the most elegantly choreographed scenes of violence in any action movie.

Posted by: Wickedpinto on December 28, 2005 01:59 AM

FYI, the woman in the speed-dating scene whose boob falls out is Kimberly Page, estranged wife of ex-rassler Diamond Dallas Page. She is simply stunning.

Posted by: RW on December 28, 2005 06:11 PM
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Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?"
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I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove
Chris
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"Ahhhhh ahh I put my career on the line for Louise Lucas and Jay Jones thinking they'd vault me into presidential contention and we ended up costing Democrats 20 House seats and unleashing a Reverse Dobbs ahhhhh ahhh"
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Something is wrong as I hold you near
Somebody else holds your heart, yeah
You turn to me with your icy tears
And then it's raining, feels like it's raining
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.
Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.


Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.
(((Dan Hodges)))
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Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.


Nick Lowles
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Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
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